triter two

wk4aUID: 2616910

想请问你俩怎样逐渐提高自己用那么多高级词汇？你们是怎么练得？谢谢
lele77521 发表于 2009-7-28 20:55

首先这些都不是高级词汇吧？只是长一点而已，多积累就好了。高级词汇要那种很细腻很准确的才算，现在还比较难达标。
多积累吧。

还有你说的时间限制，我现在不限时的，一两个小时的写，慢慢想，慢慢写。不然写不好还不如不写吧。提高速度的计划我们下一个礼拜觉得写的有感觉了，结构也很有把握了就一起练怎么样？

lele77521UID: 2672123

好的
我记得当时老师说练习3篇以上就要限时，对了，还想问你，写文章是一口气写完，然后再考到word里润色么？例子之类的都是在软件上直接就写好了的么？我感觉有些人命地名理论学说的名词一紧张就写错。

wk4aUID: 2616910

I basically agree with the speaker's assertion that we can obtain information about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its residents. Undoubtedly, it is really an effective way to know a society quickly with which we do not familiar. Sometimes, however, we just get a general impression which is reflected by shallow information acquired from people’s appearance and behavior. In order to fully learn ideas and values of a society, I would propose some supplementary suggestions besides the author’s means.
不用写propose了，写外表和习惯是unnecessary的就可以了。简洁有力，没有节外生枝。
First of all, the way people look and dress in some extent reflect their attitudes and interest. People are more likely to choose clothes and patterns according their life style. It is human nature to dress up to indicate their unique taste for people in nowadays pursue individuality other than commonness. For instance, a boy who loves NBA may prefer to wear sport apparels, we can even find his idol just look at the number of his clothes. There are so many young people dress up follow the superstar they like这句话改成那些衣着反映那些年轻人崇尚体育竞技---会比较好. Attitudes and hobbies have an effect on people’s appearance and act. A society whose members prefer to wear traditional clothes may favor classical culture than popular. In fact, the way people look and dress often reflect what they pursue and what is the life value that they strive to acquire.

Secondly, the behavior of people reveals a society’s ideas and values which they encourage and advocate. I will take some examples to demonstrate my viewpoint. In China, the most important festival is spring festival, a time for family gatherings and holiday meals, most of people will return to their hometown even they only have one day off, no matter where they work, which reflect Chinese people attach more importance to family gatherings. Another, comparing the percentage of saving in GDP between China and America, we will definitely consider that the American place a high value on enjoying the present while Chinese are saving far more than they consuming. In the latest news, the fans of Michael Jackson all over the world have been given a fond farewell on the internet, which shows their love to his music.
上下两段层次很分明，这是优点。如果在这一段在综合下会更好，比较是一个有机的题目。
In addition, it is not enough to know a society’s values and ideas only just by those surface features above-mentioned. Perhaps some people do not care the style of clothes they wear, who are not inclining to express their aesthetic values by these external ways. Learning the history of a society is a sound method to know the values or ideas of that society. For instance, you can know Chinese traditional ideas by reading the famous literature works, visiting summer palace and so on. History is a mirror of a society’s past, which gives us much more information about its country, including its values and ideas.
有了这段，文章很完整了。
In conclusion, I fundamentally agree with the author’s contention that the way people look, dress and act do reflect values or ideas of that society. At the same time, I hold the opinion that learning history is also an ideal way to unveil the mystery of a society.


思路上没什么大问题，但是感觉笔锋还不是很地道和有有力，多多看范文学习下。

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

15# wk4a
我每篇的开头都绞尽脑汁~万事开头难~208那篇就是一坨X~主体段就2段~我自己看了都讨厌~难为你们了~我看看你们的吸取吸取思路再改~
刚回来~过一小会儿再来改你们的~

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

想请问你俩怎样逐渐提高自己用那么多高级词汇？你们是怎么练得？谢谢
lele77521 发表于 2009-7-28 20:55

没有啥高级的啊~大部分是四六级词~WK4A的词比我用的还高点~其实多写点自然能把一些本来是认知的词转成写作词汇~WK4A是托福~我当时雅思也写了有30篇~
限时方面~你看我的Time就知道啦~根本做不到~论据都得想到什么跑去查查~但是A我现在基本能限时写完~不过必须是熟A~

PS:national我查了有国民的意思~

wk4aUID: 2616910

没有啥高级的啊~大部分是四六级词~WK4A的词比我用的还高点~其实多写点自然能把一些本来是认知的词转成写作词汇~WK4A是托福~我当时雅思也写了有30篇~
限时方面~你看我的Time就知道啦~根本做不到~论据都得想到什么跑 ...
emily_feifei 发表于 2009-7-28 22:08

还不改我的啊，……

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

3# wk4a

每天10点左右回来~我改比较慢~嘿嘿~

As it is widely admitted that individuals' words reveal their thoughts, and the revealed thoughts represent their basic characteristics, then(adv.感觉不能连接两个句子，前面用分号) it seems possible to have a look at a society's general value system by carefully analyze common people's words since individuals as a whole form the whole the （去掉吧）society. Unfortunately, a society is so complex and diverse（你的主要观点咯~看你下面怎么说） that there are too many aspects to be studied before anyone tries to get a glimpse of its ideas and values.

It is undeniable that the attitudes and interests of the public can tell much about a society, thus it is convenient to know a society through observing people's attire, expression, taking habits and so forth which can, to some extent, represent their traits. In ancient China, for instance, from the inviolable empire, to the untold public, all of them dressed in loose and long-sleeve clothes, and walked in a gracefully floating manner（这个形象~我是明白了~不过老美会不会懂啊~地道不？）. Such elegant social convention was a result of widely-spread affection of verse and rhythm among the whole public.（好！） Historian uncovered many frescos and scroll paintings showing how ancient Chinese people dress and much traditional and social interest at that time. We then also understand why there are so much（many） dazzling artistic works were ingenerated astonishing modern people. Thanks to every clue about people's look, dress and sorts of act, we can discover much about their manners and inner thoughts, and from which, much about the society at their time can be vividly characterized.

Though much benefit（我怎么感觉有benefits啊，那就要用many，你跟我一样~c. u.老混） can be enjoyed from observing the out-looking of people as we try to understand the ideas and values of a society indirectly, it is of much difficulty to understand someone fully thus makes it also complicated to judge a society. To thoroughly explore individuals' inner sides, various aspects like their life experience, social groups, education level and so on are to be studied. Also, as the highly division of labor（这句在你的文章出现频率可真高~呵呵）, uniform has eliminated people's characteristic.（这点很好！） The strict regulation in companies have detailed employers' behaviors and unified individuals' traits as well. Even if it is possible to correctly decide individuals' inner interests, when common public form associations and groups, things are different again. Every society has its own traditions and values which are most easily to be noticed when it is dealing with emergencies which require the cooperation of government policy and public action. Only by patiently observing enough major events happened in society, one can make a close conclusion about it. Most countries are much the same in economy and policy due to the globalization. But if encountered in a world wide(连一起的) war, some are the invaders, some are the defenders and some choose to be neutral. Such principles can be hardly concluded by simply observing common public in society.（这点怎么说得我晕乎乎的，和打战啥关系？）

Actually, what really determine the basic ideas and values of a society are its history and recent received influence. The long history have left too much traditions to people, determines their aesthetic value. The newly imported influence can also significantly change people's habits. Thus, it is nearly impossible to judge a person's attitudes and interest in that we are not clear about whether his dressing habits is according to the traditional value or just try some new style brought in from abroad. The percentage of each kind of persons also contributes to the value system of a society. That is why it is often easy to find two persons from different places but share the same characteristic but these two places are so much different. Many factors like geography and climate conditions, food resources are also quite essential to be considered to know a society. Anyway, it only takes a small portion as a society to form its values and gain its ideas.

Without doubt, it is easy and accessible to understand a society by analyzing its people's interests and attitudes, but since every society is so complex and various, any single aspect is to be carefully studied and considered comprehensively. Though excessively as this work is, every society is worth such efforts for its inspiring history and stimulating development as valuable experience.(结尾不错)


你的思路很清晰~就是打战那块我没明白你的意思~
我写的时候完全就被衣着和行为局限死了~--|||

lele77521UID: 2672123

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."


In nowadays society, mass media is creating flooding information to almost drawn people. Students have to be careful to choose and judge what they learn, for much of what they receive might only be temporarily true and the else are absolutely preposterous. As a result, it is safe to be skepticism when students are learning, but also quite time consuming. To be an effective learner, students should really maintain a balance in readily accepting and skeptical choosing.换做between and是不是也可以？

Admittedly, there is no safer way to hold a certain skepticism when learn. Almost every area of knowledge system is founded in few hundreds of years, limited by both insufficient practical experience text and confined theory system. All the formulas and principles printed in text books could be actually false, let along other many derived knowledge If students simply accept them without a second thought, they might be at a loss or refuse to update what they learnt when former knowledge turn out to be ridiculous. Also, it would be of great benefit for students to try to reason and demonstrate what they learn. Though there are little chances for them to disprove written theories, they can comprehend and remember what they learn more clearly. On the contrary, simply believing all knowledge given by teachers, students may find it difficult to apply to use and easily forget them. By holding a skeptic attitude when learning, students can master what they learn more easily and profoundly.

Though some advantages can be enjoyed by carefully doubting, students sometimes also need to quickly accept given knowledge in order to be effective. Being too skeptic in learning is like marching in mine field, thoroughly examining every inch of field can ensure a safety but solders can hardly reach demanded position in time. Also, the present knowledge is no that dangerous though may with some flaws. Most of what students are taught remains relatively correct enough for nowadays society to conduct research and application. Thus, as long as this information is beneficial for the social progress, students could embrace them fully without necessity of skepticism. After all, any form of instruction is for purpose of application and improvement which can regardless of the process.(这个观点我不太赞成) If students are bogged down in the morass of being skeptical of every word they learn, the society becomes paralyzed due to lack of courage of application.

Throughout history, human beings have suffered too much dilemma when dealing with conflicts between new theories and wildly（和blindly 同义就行） accepted knowledge. From ancient time to mid-age(确定地道？), common public always believed that the earth is the center of the whole universe and refuse to acknowledge that we are not so special. Many great astronomers who held different opinions against the pontiff were persecuted. What people have abandoned are not only these brilliants, but also piles of chances of technology progress. It is valuable of people to persist what they hold, but irrational to blindly refuse fresh ideas. When common public, especially students, encounter with different theories, it is better to accept them with reservation rather than rejecting them because there are no reliable means to justify them and at the same time we can not miss any chance to make a progress.

Lying between choices of acceptance and skepticism, it is too hard for students to make right decisions constantly. But it would be always advisable to accept knowledge which is useful and applicable, at the same time be ready to overthrow present ideas. In this way, students can be effective learners.
红体字部分我感觉读起来不太顺畅。结构还好。

wk4aUID: 2616910

23# lele77521


你还是不喜欢给我改行文思路啊，郁闷……不过你改细节也蛮仔细的了，谢谢。希望下次直接批斗思路啊。

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

8# lele77521

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
这种颜色表示仅仅是我个人偏好问题~你听听愿意接受就接受~

I basically agree with the speaker's assertion that we can obtain information about a society’s ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its residents. （开门见山的写法，我个人倾向有点迂回）Undoubtedly, it is really an effective way to know a society quickly with which we do not familiar. Sometimes, however, we just get a general impression which is reflected by shallow information acquired from people’s appearance and behavior. In order to fully learn ideas and values of a society, I would propose some supplementary suggestions besides the author’s means.（好，我等着看！）

First of all, （没有别的意思，我个人很不喜欢在Issue看到这种模板字眼，A就算了，暂时也没发现啥新奇好写法）the way people look and dress in（to） some extent reflects their attitudes and interests. People are more likely to choose clothes and patterns according their life style. It is human nature to dress up to indicate their unique taste for people in nowadays pursue individuality other than commonness. （我理解你的意思，可是总觉一些词语顺序不对，太别扭）For instance, a boy who loves NBA may prefer to wear sport apparels, we can even find his idol just look at the number of his clothes. （好例子）There are so many young people who dress up follow the superstar they like. Attitudes and hobbies have an effect on people’s appearance and act. A society whose members prefer to wear traditional clothes may favor classical culture than popular. In fact, the way people look and dress often reflect what they pursue and what is the life value that they strive to acquire.

Secondly, the behavior of people reveals a society’s ideas and values which they encourage and advocate. I will take some examples to demonstrate my viewpoint. In China, the most important festival is spring festival, a time for family gatherings and holiday meals（怪怪的）, most of people will return to their hometown even they only have one day off, no matter where they work, which reflect Chinese people attach more importance to family gatherings. Another, comparing the percentage of saving in GDP between China and America, we will definitely consider that the American place a high value on enjoying the present while Chinese are saving far more than they consuming. In the latest news, the fans of Michael Jackson all over the world have been given a fond farewell on the internet, which shows their love to his music.（你的例证也是，从中国传统节日跳到存钱，这就算了，马上就跳到了MJ）

In addition, it is not enough to know a society’s values and ideas only just by those surface features above-mentioned. Perhaps some people do not care the style of clothes they wear, who are not inclining（inclined） to express their aesthetic values by these external ways. Learning the history of a society is a sound method to know the values or ideas of that society. For instance, you can know Chinese traditional ideas by reading the famous literature works, visiting summer palace and so on. History is a mirror of a society’s past, which gives us much more information about its country, including its values and ideas.

In conclusion, I fundamentally agree with the author’s contention that the way people look, dress and act do reflect values or ideas of that society. At the same time, I hold the opinion that learning history is also an ideal way to unveil the mystery of a society.
（论证思路是很清楚的，你们都提出了更多的方案，我得像你们学习；语言上会感觉有点小别扭~多写写就会提高）

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

10# wk4a

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively." In nowadays society, mass media is creating flooding information to almost drawn people. Students have to be careful to choose and judge what they learn, for much of what they receive might only be temporarily true and the else are absolutely preposterous. As a result, it is safe to be skepticism when students are learning, but also quite time consuming. To be an effective learner, students should really maintain a balance in readily accepting and skeptical choosing. Admittedly, there is no safer way to hold a certain skepticism when learn. Almost every area of knowledge system is founded in few hundreds of years, limited by both insufficient practical experience text and confined theory system. All the formulas and principles printed in text books could be actually false, let along other many derived knowledge. If students simply accept them without a second thought, they might be at a loss or refuse to update what they learnt when former knowledge turn out to be ridiculous. Also, it would be of great benefit for students to try to reason and demonstrate what they learn. Though there are little chances for them to disprove written theories, they can comprehend and remember what they learn more clearly. On the contrary, simply believing all knowledge given by teachers, students may find it difficult to apply to use and easily forget them. By holding a skeptic attitude when learning, students can master what they learn more easily and profoundly. Though some advantages can be enjoyed by carefully doubting, students sometimes also need to quickly accept given knowledge in order to be effective. Being too skeptic in learning is like marching in mine field, thoroughly examining every inch of field can ensure a safety but solders can hardly reach demanded position in time. Also, the present knowledge is no that dangerous though may with some flaws. Most of what students are taught remains relatively correct enough for nowadays society to conduct research and application. Thus, as long as this information is beneficial for the social progress, students could embrace them fully without necessity of skepticism. After all, any form of instruction is for purpose of application and improvement which can regardless of the process. If students are bogged down in the morass of being skeptical of every word they learn, the society becomes paralyzed due to lack of courage of application. Throughout history, human beings have suffered too much dilemma when dealing with conflicts between new theories and wildly accepted knowledge. From ancient time to mid-age, common public always believed that the earth is the center of the whole universe and refuse to acknowledge that we are not so special. Many great astronomers who held different opinions against the pontiff were persecuted. What people have abandoned are not only these brilliants, but also piles of chances of technology progress. It is valuable of people to persist what they hold, but irrational to blindly refuse fresh ideas. When common public, especially students, encounter with different theories, it is better to accept them with reservation rather than rejecting them because there are no reliable means to justify them and at the same time we can not miss any chance to make a progress. Lying between choices of acceptance and skepticism, it is too hard for students to make right decisions constantly. But it would be always advisable to accept knowledge which is useful and applicable, at the same time be ready to overthrow present ideas. In this way, students can be effective learners.

TOPIC: ISSUE153 - "Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."

In nowadays society, mass media is creating flooding information to almost drawn people. Students have to be careful to choose and judge what they learn, for much of what they receive might only be temporarily true and the else are absolutely preposterous. As a result, it is safe to be skepticism when students are learning, but also quite time consuming. To be an effective learner, students should really maintain a balance in readily accepting and skeptical choosing.

Admittedly（我也很喜欢用副词打头）, there is no safer way to hold a certain skepticism when learn. Almost every area of knowledge system is founded in few hundreds of years, limited by both insufficient practical experience text and confined theory system. All the formulas and principles printed in text books could be actually false, let along （我看到的已经是第三次错了~alone）other many derived knowledge. If students simply accept them without a second thought, they might be at a loss or refuse to update what they learnt when former knowledge turn out to be ridiculous. Also, it would be of great benefit for students to try to reason and demonstrate what they learn. Though there are little chances for them to disprove written theories, they can comprehend and remember what they learn more clearly. On the contrary, simply believing all knowledge given by teachers, students may find it difficult to apply to use and easily forget them. By holding a skeptic attitude when learning, students can master what they learn more easily and profoundly.

Though some advantages can be enjoyed by carefully doubting, students sometimes also need to quickly accept given knowledge in order to be effective. Being too skeptic in learning is like marching in mine field（不懂什么意思）, thoroughly examining every inch of field can ensure a safety but solders can hardly reach demanded position in time. Also, the presented knowledge is no that dangerous though may with some flaws. Most of what students are taught remains relatively correct enough for nowadays society to conduct research and application. Thus, as long as this information is beneficial for the social progress, students could embrace them fully without necessity of skepticism. After all, any form of instruction is for purpose of application and improvement which can regardless of the process. If students are bogged down in the morass of being skeptical of every word they learn, the society becomes paralyzed due to lack of courage of application.（我觉这段在自己打自己嘴巴，你上面说质疑有好处，下面又说只要信息无害，就可以全盘接受。但是，问题在于，我们如何知道这些信息是否有害呢？这个鉴别的过程也是一个质疑的过程）

Throughout history, human beings have suffered too much dilemma （还是，dilemma它可数）when dealing with conflicts between new theories and wildly accepted knowledge. From ancient time to mid-age, common public always believed that the earth is the center of the whole universe and refuse to acknowledge that we are not so special. Many great astronomers who held different opinions against the pontiff were persecuted. （还说我用爱因斯坦，你也用了烂掉的日心说地心说，大家都是被憋得没话说啊~）What people have abandoned are not only these brilliants, but also piles of chances of technology progress. It is valuable of people to persist what they hold, but irrational to blindly refuse fresh ideas. When common public, especially students, encounter with different theories, it is better to accept them with reservation （这是你的观点咯）rather than rejecting them because there are no reliable means to justify them and at the same time we can not miss any chance to make a progress.（我感觉有保留接受就是对它的不够信任，甚至有异议，这就是质疑啊。）

Lying between choices of acceptance and skepticism, it is too hard for students to make right decisions constantly（不过也是事实就是了）. But it would be always advisable to accept knowledge which is useful and applicable, at the same time be ready to overthrow present ideas. In this way, students can be effective learners.
最大的问题是你的论述没让我觉得信服

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

I 153我突然想到前段听说的事情~中国有个人研究了老多年~想推翻爱因斯坦的相对论~被国内一群人笑话~但是我觉这放国外~就是个勇士啊！
http://cd.qq.com/a/20090704/000705.htm有兴趣可以看看~

wk4aUID: 2616910

I 153我突然想到前段听说的事情~中国有个人研究了老多年~想推翻爱因斯坦的相对论~被国内一群人笑话~但是我觉这放国外~就是个勇士啊！
http://cd.qq.com/a/20090704/000705.htm有兴趣可以看看~
emily_feifei 发表于 2009-7-28 23:33

我自己写的153以后再看，现在完全一看就想关浏览器。唉。

lele77521UID: 2672123

As it is widely admitted that individuals' words (题目是人们的行为，穿着打扮，你写words,可以代表么？)reveal their thoughts, and the revealed thought represent their basic characteristics, then it seems possible to have a look at a society's general value system by carefully analyze common people's words since individuals as a whole form the whole the society. (这个句子简化一下，俩whole) Unfortunately, a society is so complex and diverse that there are too many aspects to be studied before anyone tries to get a glimpse of its ideas and values.（前半段不是很扣题，正文部分倒是写到了）

It is undeniable that the attitudes and interests of the public can tell much about a society, thus it is convenient to know a society through observing people's attire, expression, taking habits and so forth which can, to some extent, represent their traits. In ancient China, for instance, from the inviolable empire, to the untold public, all of them dressed in loose and long-sleeve clothes, and walked in a gracefully floating manner. Such elegant social convention was a result of widely-spread affection of verse and rhythm among the whole public. Historian uncovered many frescos and scroll paintings showing how ancient Chinese people dress and much tradition and social interest at that time. We then also understand why there are so much dazzling artistic works were ingenerated astonishing modern people. Thanks to every clue about people's look, dress and sorts of act, we can discover much about their manners and inner thoughts, and from which, much about the society at their time can be vividly characterized.

Though much benefit can be enjoyed from observing the out-looking of people as we try to understand the ideas and values of a society indirectly, it is of much difficulty to understand someone fully thus makes it also complicated to judge a society.读者别扭呀 To thoroughly explore individuals' inner sides, various aspects like their life experience, social groups, education level and so on are to be studied. Also, as the highly division of labor, uniform has eliminated people's characteristic. The strict regulation in companies have detailed employers' behaviors and unified individuals' traits as well. Even if it is possible to correctly decide individuals' inner interests, when common public form associations and groups, things are different again. Every society has its own traditions and values which are most easily to be noticed when it is dealing with emergencies which require the cooperation of government policy and public action.(cooperation 是政府政策和公众行动的合作？) Only by patiently observing enough major events happened in society, one can（这里不倒装么？） make a close conclusion about it. Most countries are much the same in economy and policy due to the globalization. But if encountered in a world wide war, some are the invaders, some are the defenders and some choose to be neutral. Such principles can be hardly concluded by simply observing common public in society.

Actually, what really determine the basic ideas and values of a society are its history and recent received influence. The long history have left too much traditions to people, determines their aesthetic value. The newly imported influence can also significantly change people's habits. Thus, it is nearly impossible to judge a person's attitudes and interest in that we are not clear about whether his dressing habits is according to the traditional value or just try some new style brought in from abroad. The percentage of each kind of persons also contributes to the value system of a society. That is why it is often easy to find two persons from different places but share the same characteristic but these two places are so much different. （but又是2个？应该不算地道吧？）Many factors like geography and climate conditions, food resources are also quite essential to be considered to know a society. Anyway, it only takes a small portion as a society to form its values and gain its ideas.

Without doubt, it is easy and accessible to understand a society by analyzing its people's interests and attitudes, but since every society is so complex and various, any single aspect is to be carefully studied and considered comprehensively. Though excessively as this work is, every （也可以换作each前面好多every）society is worth such efforts for its inspiring history and stimulating development as valuable experience.
思路方面就是，我个人认为，在总结性主题句部分尽量让句子简洁有力，在例证部分可以多变换句式。有时感觉主题句应该一目了然，如果太长或句子结构复杂感觉有点遮住基本框架。选择性参考哦

lele77521UID: 2672123

忘写优点了，困了。你就当黑体字都是优点吧。呵呵