argument 200 GA-ROW by abi-gail

abi-gailUID: 2624616

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.
WORDS: 411          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2009/7/28 10:37:52

By citing a statistic, which shows more male patients faint than female patients while  visiting the dentist, the writer concluded that men are more likely to be distressed about dental work, thus advertisements should be targeted on  male patients, which consist in emphasis on effectiveness of the anesthetic techniques and the staffs' concern on the  patients' feelings.

The efficacy of these advertisements in increasing patient number is quite dubious.First, it is possible that few male patients go to the dentists, while female patients actually constitute major part of the market. Thus it  would not be worthwhile to spend the money spend on advertisingto male patients. Second, it is doubtful whether advertisements help bring the patients to the dentists. If  they really have dental problems, their pain and concern about health would bring them to the hospital automatically, rather than advertisements. Therefore, it can be said that these advertisements would be of little value in bringing in additional patients.

Furthermore,  the claimed distress for male patients is also debatable. although the male patients  are more likely  to faint while visiting the dentists, it may not be a result of distress, but of other factors. They may be wrongly guided not to eat or drink before dental works, so that they are more vulnerable.  Moreover, if the male patients are largely children while the female patients are mostly adults, the alleged distress is not a matter of  gender but of age. After all, it isn't unfathomable for kids to experience nervous.

Last but  not least, it is doubtful whether the ads should emphasize the effectiveness of the anesthetic techniques and the staff's sensitivity to patients’ feelings. For one, the ads may be  tangent to the real aim of the dentists----curing patients dental problems. It may be the curing effect rather than the above aspects that the patients really care  about.  For another, the patients may be more sensitive to the pain with so much  emphasis on nervous and anesthetic techniques. Invoking such psychology, the ads are actually reverse to the original aim.

In sum, the writer should present the  value of such ads targeted on male patients and clarify the distress that the patients  suffered. What's more, he should consider more of the curing effect while publicizing, as well as paying attention to the possible reverse effect.

乡亲们跟我上UID: 2363614

1# abi-gail

TOPIC: ARGUMENT200 - Statistics collectedfrom dentists indicate that three times more men than women faint whilevisiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men are more likely to bedistressed about having dental work done than women are. Thus, dentists whoadvertise to attract patients should target the male consumer and emphasizeboth the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques and the sensitivity oftheir staff to nervous or suffering patients. By citing a statistic, which shows moremale patients faint than female patients while visiting the dentist, the writer concluded that men are more likely tobe distressed about dental work, thus advertisements should be targeted on male patients, which consist in emphasis oneffectiveness of the anesthetic techniques and the staffs' concern on the patients' feelings. Nonetheless, the writer'sreasoning bears several fallacies as follows. First and foremost, although male patientsare more likely to faint while visiting the dentist, such ferventadvertisements may not be of much value. First, it is possible that few malepatients go to the dentists, while female patients actually constitute majorpart of the market. Thus it would not beso worthwhile to spend the money spend on publicizing to the male patients. Second, it is doubtful whetheradvertisements help bring the patients to the dentists. If they really have dental problems, their painand concern about health would bring them to the hospital automatically, ratherthan advertisements. To make up for hisconclusion, the writer should present convincing data about the value of suchads. Furthermore, the claimed distress for male patients is alsodebatable. Albeit the male patients aremore likely to faint while visiting thedentists, it may not be a result of ditress, but of other factors. They may bewrongly guided not to eat or drink before dental works, so that they are morevulnerable. Moreover, if the malepatients are largely children while the female patients are mostly adults, thealleged distress is not a matter of gender but of age. After all, it isn't unfathomable for kids toexperience nervous. Last but not least, it is doubtful whether the ads should emphasize theeffectiveness of the anesthetic techniques and the staff's sensitivity to patients’feelings. For one, the ads may be tagentto the real aim of the dentists----curing patients dental problems. It may bethe curing effect rather than the above aspects that the patients reallycare about. For another, the patients may be moresensitive to the pain with so much emphasis on nervous and anesthetic techniques. Invoking such psychology,the ads are actually reverse to the original aim. In sum, the writer should present the value of such ads targeted on male patientsand clarify the ditress that the patients suffered. What's more, he should consider more of the curing effectwhile publicizing, as well as paying attention to the possible reverse effect.

错误找的都挺好的，个人建议前两点换一下顺序 还有下次发文最好排一下版

lloddsUID: 2593661

If  they really have dental problems, their pain and concern about health would bring them to the hospital automatically, rather than advertisements.我觉得这个证据不对，原文是要患者选它们的诊所而不是其它的，你这样说只是说患者选择就医而不是去某个特定的诊所
They may be wrongly guided not to eat or drink before dental works, so that they are more vulnerable.这个证据也很没说服力，这个意见难道不会提供给女人吗？