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[a习作temp] 0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by matcheaven~ [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-7-31 22:08:10 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 matcheaven~ 于 2009-8-1 07:31 编辑

第一篇A, 从此开始高强度准备AW,第一阶段预计20天~~
我的基础不好,无数打击以后现在决定背水一战啦~
为了监督自己,开始在这里记录下每天的进度,希望与大家一起进步!

TOPIC: ARGUMENT173 - The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.

"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."
WORDS: 508
TIME: 01:30:00
DATE: 2009/7/31 17:22:16


In this memo, the publisher proposes to decrease the emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on their magazine covers. To support this proposition the publisher points out that over the past three years their poorest-selling magazine issues were the ones with international news stories covers, while the competing news-magazines have decreased the number of such covers significantly. The publisher also points out that the cost of maintaining the foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. This argument contains several flaws, which render it unpersuasive.

First of all, the publisher fails to establish a causal relationship between featuring international news stories on magazines' front covers and the poor sales of these issues. Perhaps people cared little about the international news during that period. If so, it is not a good idea to refrain from emphasizing international news when this kind of news is just popular enough to attract people to buy. Or maybe the periods that the magazines were featured international news on the covers were just the poor-selling season of all the magazines. So, without ruling out such factors, we could not be convinced that the front cover with international news is the actual cause of the poor selling of the magazines.

Secondly, no information concerning the profits of Newsbeat and its competing news- magazine is provided, thus we cannot evaluate if decreasing the emphasis on international news is a wise strategy. Maybe during those periods of time, even the magazines not focusing on the international events also suffered from decreasing of selling. And the profit of such magazines may be less than Newsbeat. If it is true, then the publisher’s proposition would make little sense. What’s more, the fact that the competing news-magazines have decreased their emphasis on international news might just give Newsbeat the advantage of being the only magazine covering international news. In this way, Newsbeat may stimulate sales and the profit may increase in the future.
Thirdly, the publisher ignores other means to report on international news besides maintaining foreign bureaus. Considering the increasing cost of foreign bureaus, it seems right to stop maintaining foreign bureaus in order to save money. But this fact cannot be the reason which for decreasing Newsbeat’s emphasis on international news. Perhaps If Newsbeat turns out to be the only magazine covering international news, as I just said, then to report on international news is necessary.
In conclusion, the memo is unconvincing as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the publisher must show that it was the international covers of Newsbeat, and not some other factor, that were responsible for the relatively poor sales of issues with those covers. To better assess the publisher’s proposition that Newsbeat should de-emphasize international news, we would need to know the profits of Newsbeat and its competing news- magazine, so that we can evaluate if decreasing the emphasis on international news is a wise strategy. We would also need more information about if there are any possible ways to report on international news besides maintaining foreign bureaus.
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发表于 2009-8-3 02:30:51 |只看该作者
抱歉,最近参加作文小组,把同主题改文章的事情给忘了- -

今天太晚了,大概看了一下感觉楼主的论证还是挺充分的,毕竟那么多字,比我的issue都多。不过楼主可以适当精简一些论证,特别是他因的推测。因为argu主要就是攻击作者的论据论证的问题,点透即可。这样更利于控制时间

细节部分明天再帮楼主改,安拉

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RE: 0910AW 同主题写作第二期 ARGUMENT173 by matcheaven~ [修改]

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