issue 235 有拍必回

cuteberryUID: 2401378

Is loyalty a destructive or positive force? Ever since our childhood, loyalty is taught to us by our parents and teachers as a universal ethos. The speaker contendsthat loyalty is often a destructive force. However, in my opinion, loyalty is such a virtue that we should use it technically.

In the first place, loyalty is the basic virtue considered to be essential in society. The reputation of a scientist depends on his or herloyalty to the public about research. A soldier should be loyalty to the general's command. A merchant should be loyal to the buyer. Also, without some mutual loyalty between a sovereign state and its cirizenry there can be no security or safety from either revolt or invasion.. Here, to be loyal is to tell the truths. Imaging that all of them do not tell the truth, how can our life be? What it remains for us to believe in? An example can be found in recent years, the Korean scientists forge his experiment results in his publication, which bring many public discuss about cheating in research community. It is such a noxious seed in research community that may bring bad atmosphere. Since results can be forged, the severe hard research process can be omitted. More researchers will be infected. Who will find truth by hardworking? You see, loyalty plays what an important part in our society.

Furthermore, what I cannot agree with is the speaker's second conclusion. We cannot forget the fable in our childhood about "the new clothes of emperor ". If even the little kid follows "the rule of adult"- loyalty is all too often a destructive force and do not say the truth out, how can the public aware the ridiculous things they have done. Things always happen like this in our life. If my best friend shows her research paper to me, I do not tell her the problems in it just because she is my best friend. Then I will send her to the bad judgment of real rater, and then the paper can not be published. Loyalty may currently be destructive but in the long run it is the only way to protect the precious thing in our life, such as friendship, credit, etc.

Admittedly, there exist some circumstances under which loyalty is destructive. Even if we tell lies, they are aim at consideration to others. It really needs wisdom. An example can be found in war time. If our soldiers are fighting very hard in the front line, and they need physical and psychological support badly. At this moment, if we tell them the truth that we are now short of food to supply them or the enemy is much stronger than us, they may fail to insist on fighting. What we should say to them is some encouragement rather than the fact. Another case is that in our office relationship by way of undue loyalty to their employers, employees sometimes harm themselves.. For example, when we are having a meeting with boss and other colleges, we find our boss has said something wrong. We should not point that out immediately. Instead, we can talk it to the boss after the meeting. As can be seen, loyalty is sometimes used technically in our life rather than replaced
by cheating.

In a word, the speaker's statement can be divided into two parts. The first part is quite right, and the second is lack some consideration. I hold the point that loyalty is the virtue we should keep, but I also support loyalty should be used technically to consider the circumstances and its impact.

nuaaskyUID: 2615912

Is loyalty a destructive or positive force? Ever since our childhood, loyalty is taught to us by our parents and teachers as a universal ethos. The speaker contends that loyalty is often a destructive force. However, in my opinion, loyalty is such a virtue that we should use it technically.
（开头简明地提出了论点）
In the first place, loyalty is the basic virtue considered to be essential in society. The reputation of a scientist depends on his or her loyalty to the public about research. A soldier should be loyalty to the general's command. A merchant should be loyal to the buyer. Also, without some mutual loyalty between a sovereign state and its cirizenry（citizen） there can be no security or safety from either revolt or invasion. Here, to be loyal is to tell the truths. Imaging that （if？）all of them do not tell the truth, how can our life be? What it remains for us to believe in? An example can be found in recent years, the Korean scientists forge his experiment results in his publication, which bring many public discuss about cheating in research community. It is such a noxious seed in research community that may bring bad atmosphere. （这句不太懂such用在这里不知何意）Since results can be forged, the severe hard （这样用我不知道行不行）research process can be omitted. More researchers will be infected.（infected是受感染，affected是受影响，你要表达哪一个？） Who will find truth by hardworking? You see, loyalty plays what an important part in our society.（这句是Chinglish吗？正确的应该是把what...放在前面吧）
（这段话读下来知道作者要讲的loyalty实际上是honesty，tell the truth。举了那个韩国人学术造假的例子。论述建议再深刻些，感觉作者没有把想说的话说清楚）
Furthermore, what I cannot agree with is the speaker's second conclusion. We cannot forget the fable in our childhood about "the new clothes of emperor ". If even the little kid follows "the rule of adult"- loyalty is all too often a destructive force and do not say the truth out, how（我觉得改成what更合适些） can the public aware the ridiculous things they have done. Things always happen like this in our life. If my best friend shows her research paper to me, I do not tell her the problems in it just because she is my best friend. Then I will send her to the bad judgment of real rater, and then the paper can not be published.（使某人怎样，这里用send，感觉不行，因为没有看到有人这么用的。我不敢打包票，建议换种表达） Loyalty may currently be destructive but in the long run it is the only way to protect the precious thing in our life, such as friendship, credit, etc.
（这段话举了皇帝的新装和给自己朋友看论文的例子，应该是想表达不loyalty所带来的坏处。但是这段话写得逻辑关系不清。建议第一句话加个that +把你所说的second conclusion 重写一下，还有，这段的论述怎么表达了你不同意第二个观点呢？尤其是最后一句，到底是支持谁的观点？）
Admittedly, there exist some circumstances under which loyalty is destructive. Even if we tell lies, they are aim at consideration to others. It really needs wisdom. An example can be found in war time. If our soldiers are fighting very hard in the front line, and they need physical and psychological support badly. At this moment, if we tell them the truth that we are now short of food to supply them or the enemy is much stronger than us, they may fail to insist on fighting. What we should say to them is some encouragement rather than the fact. Another case is that in our office relationship by way of undue loyalty to their employers, employees sometimes harm themselves. For example, when we are having a meeting with boss and other colleges, we find our boss has said something wrong. We should not point that out immediately. Instead, we can talk it to the boss after the meeting. As can be seen（不懂）, loyalty is sometimes used technically in our life rather than replaced by cheating.

In a word, the speaker's statement can be divided into two parts. The first part is quite right, and the second is（is可以去掉）lack some consideration. I hold the point that loyalty is the virtue we should keep, but I also support loyalty should be used technically to consider the circumstances and its impact.

这篇文章读下来感觉作者的论点和论述都不是很清晰，尽管文章很长。
作者想表达一些意思，但无奈我看下来很费力，一是语言不流畅，二是逻辑不明确
用词不够precise，文章感觉不够简洁，
总之，这篇文章错误有很多。在表达和文章的组织上还需多努力。多写几篇就会好很多~

nuaaskyUID: 2615912

有空回拍
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-997565-1-1.html

cuteberryUID: 2401378

多谢了阿~~很多地方说的都很对阿。我隔了几天来看，发现自己写的就是有很多问题呢。其实好多论点很模糊，因为没有什么例子可以支撑阿；而且论证部分有些无力呢~~阿~~issue阿！！ 3# nuaasky