issue144 论坛上第一篇，没有例子，498words，60min

fxs_007UID：2101152

issue144 498words,60min
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
提纲：艺术家的作用
b1有两种艺术，评论家的作用不用
b2大众艺术，评论家作用
b3深奥的艺术，评论家作用

The claim that artist, not the critic, gives society something of lasting value is not accurate. Artists' contribution of artwork can be easily recognized. They create the artwork. Without their dedication, there is no artwork, so there is nothing to be evaluated or to be admired. Thus the artists' function is prerequisite and essential.

However, the critics are also necessary to create lasting artwork. They serves to introduce the work, explain it, and praise or criticize it, whose function is not direct, but cannot be neglected. Given that the human's appreciating level is not constant, the artwork could be divided into two groups: those cannot be appreciated by most contemporary people and those can be appreciated by most people. Critics' function to those two groups of artwork can be elaborated by a case-by-case analysis.

As for those can be appreciated by most contemporary people, namely those can be easily accessible to most contemporary people and not very obscurity, such as most novel, films, music, and some paintings, it seems that ordinary people can evaluate the works by themselves. These artworks' value is primarily worked out by their own aesthetic level or more practically whether the artworks are close to taste of the masses. In Modern time, in one sense, a novel's sale reveals its value; a movie's box office success reflects its value; the sale of a music determines its value. Ostensibly, the process of creating and appreciating takes place between the artists and the masses: there is nothing left for critics. However, critics' function is indispensable in the course of appreciating beauty. Because ordinary people are less professional and their time spent on artwork is limited, they contact fewer artworks than those of the critics in a period of time. In fact, it is up to the critics to find out the potential valuable artworks waiting for appreciating for the masses. And their professional suggestion of the artworks will influence relatively non-professional ordinary people's estimate. Thus, in this sense, the critics determine which artworks people may appreciate and influence the course of appreciating.

When it comes to the artworks of profound meanings, namely those cannot be appreciated by contemporary people, like many impressionism works, whose value is beyond most people's appreciating ability, the function of critics is more important. Besides filtering and introducing, critics serve to criticize and explain. With professional acuity, the critics are more believable than ordinary people when recognizing the abstract, indigestible, but valuable artworks. These artworks that could be of paramount importance in future may not be taken care, or not be properly preserved by the contemporary people, unless critics recognize and advocate them. Then all the human being may lose a great amount of art treasures. Moreover, the critics can induce the masses to appreciate through explaining the profound meanings embodied in these artworks. Therefore they also boost the level of human being's aesthetics, which can also be regarded as part of lasting value.

In sum, on one hand, the function of artists, who create the artworks, is fundamental and essential. On the other hand, the function of critics, who recognize and evaluate the meaningful ones, is easily neglected but also indispensable.

[ Last edited by fxs_007 on 2005-8-7 at 13:22 ]

emmieleungUID：195465

看一下同主题的吧, 写的不错

fxs_007UID：2101152

谢谢
但我觉得我段内的层次不好，而且论证不充分
但总是解决不了
你写了么？
我们互改啊

fxs_007UID：2101152

up

G10T5UID：2101393

The claim that artist, not the critic, gives society something of lasting value is not accurate. Artists' contribution of artwork can be easily recognized. They create the artwork （把前面2句话合起来）. Without their dedication, there is no artwork, so there is nothing to be admired or to be evaluated. Thus the artists' function is prerequisite and essential.

However, the critics are also necessary to create lasting artwork. They serves as to introduce the work, explain it, and praise or criticize it, whose function is not direct, but cannot be neglected. Given that the human's appreciating level is not constant, the artwork could be divide into two groups: those cannot be appreciated by most contemporary people and those can be appreciated by most people. Critics' function to those two groups of artwork is not of equal importance.

As for those can be easily accessible to most contemporary people and not very obscurity, such as most novel, films, music, and some paintings, ordinary people can appreciate and evaluate the works by themselves. These artworks' value is primarily determined by their own aesthetic level or more practically whether the artworks are close to taste of the masses. In Modern time, in one sense, a novel's sale reveals its value; a movie's box office success reflects its value; the sale of a music determines its value. Ostensibly, the process of creating and appreciating takes place between the artists and the masses: there is nothing left for critics （这句话语气太强，会和你后面的让步矛盾）. However, critics' function is indispensable in the course of appreciating beauty. Because ordinary people are less professional and their time spent on artwork is limited, they contact fewer artworks than those of the critics in a period of time. In fact, it is up to the critics to find out the potential valuable artworks for the masses （这和你前面的论述矛盾）. And their professional suggestion of the artworks will influence relatively non-professional ordinary people's estimate. Thus, in this sense, the critics determine which artworks people may appreciate and influence the course of appreciating. 这一段的思路比较奇怪，你前面说的销量什么的有什么作用？


When it comes to the artworks of profound meanings, like many impressionism works, whose value is beyond most people's appreciating ability, the function of critics is more important. With professional acuity, the critics are more believable than ordinary people when recognizing the abstract, indigestible, but valuable artworks. Without the critics' contribution, these artworks that may be of paramount importance in future may not be taken care, or not be properly preserved by the contemporary people. Then all the human being may lose a great amount of art treasures. Moreover, the critics can introduce the artwork to people, induce people to appreciate the artwork. Thus they boost the level of human being's aesthetics, which can also be regarded as part of lasting value.

In sum, on one hand, the function of artists, who create the artworks, is fundamental and essential. On the other hand, the function of critics, who recognize and evaluate the meaningful ones, is easily neglected but also indispensable.
你这篇文章观点是什么？你没有提到artists的作用（除了一句他们创造作品外）。而在评论critics的作用时又将文学作品分为通俗和高雅2类，但好像你论述的重点又放在了比较在这2种情况下critics的作用程度不同，其实说的总用还是一样。所以我认为有跑题的嫌疑。

guesser198414UID：2106027

The claim that artist, not the critic, gives society something of lasting value is not accurate. Artists' contribution of artwork can be easily recognized. They create the artwork. Without their dedication, there is no artwork, so there is nothing to be admired or to be evaluated. Thus the artists' function is prerequisite and essential.

However, the critics are also necessary to create lasting artwork. They serves as to introduce the work, explain it, and praise or criticize it, whose function is not direct, but cannot be neglected. Given that the human's appreciating level is not constant, the artwork could be divide into two groups: those cannot be appreciated by most contemporary people and those can be appreciated by most people. Critics' function to those two groups of artwork is not of equal importance.（据我理解，你想表达的是前一种情况下critics的作用要弱于后面，但接下来的行文重点放在两种情况中critics的作用都dispensable上，论证和论题不太一致）

As for those can be easily accessible to most contemporary people and not very obscurity, such as most novel, films, music, and some paintings, ordinary people can appreciate and evaluate the works by themselves. These artworks' value is primarily determined by their own aesthetic level or more practically whether the artworks are close to taste of the masses. (观点1) In Modern time, in one sense, a novel's sale reveals its value; a movie's box office success reflects its value; the sale of a music determines its value. Ostensibly, the process of creating and appreciating takes place between the artists and the masses: there is nothing left for critics. However, critics' function is indispensable in the course of appreciating beauty. (观点1里面已经提到value is determined by……这里的beauty算什么哪，价值的一部分？) Because ordinary people are less professional and their time spent on artwork is limited, they contact fewer artworks than those of the critics in a period of time. In fact, it is up to the critics to find out the potential valuable artworks for the masses. And their professional suggestion of the artworks will influence relatively non-professional ordinary people's estimate. Thus, in this sense, the critics determine which artworks people may appreciate and influence the course of appreciating.（本段后半部是为了透过前半部分的表面现象而看到critics的作用，但是中间衔接的不够好，感觉前后的态度有些自相矛盾；另外，既然还是想说名critics的作用就在TS里面体现出来，否则后半部分有推翻TS的嫌疑）


When it comes to the artworks of profound meanings, like many impressionism works, whose value is beyond most people's appreciating ability, the function of critics is more important. With professional acuity, the critics are more believable than ordinary people when recognizing the abstract, indigestible, but valuable artworks. Without the critics' contribution, these artworks that may be of paramount importance in future may not be taken care, or not be properly preserved by the contemporary people. Then all the human being may lose a great amount of art treasures. Moreover, the critics can introduce the artwork to people, induce people to appreciate the artwork. Thus they boost the level of human being's aesthetics, which can also be regarded as part of lasting value.

In sum, on one hand, the function of artists, who create the artworks, is fundamental and essential. On the other hand, the function of critics, who recognize and evaluate the meaningful ones, is easily neglected but also indispensable.

fishjoyUID：2116013

有空就看,已经添加到收藏夹了:)

fxs_007UID：2101152

谢谢两位的宝贵意见，我已作相应修改，至于b2中的 However, critics' function is indispensable in the course of appreciating beauty. 因为前面有加了it seems that和原来ostensibly，所以我想应该没有矛盾。

The claim that artist, not the critic, gives society something of lasting value is not accurate. Artists' contribution of artwork can be easily recognized. They create the artwork. Without their dedication, there is no artwork, so there is nothing to be admired or to be evaluated. Thus the artists' function is prerequisite and essential.

However, the critics are also necessary to create lasting artwork. They serves as to introduce the work, explain it, and praise or criticize it, whose function is not direct, but cannot be neglected. Given that the human's appreciating level is not constant, the artwork could be divide into two groups: those cannot be appreciated by most contemporary people and those can be appreciated by most people. Critics' function to those two groups of artwork can be elaborated by a case-by-case analysis.

As for those can be easily accessible to most contemporary people and not very obscurity, such as most novel, films, music, and some paintings, it seems that ordinary people can appreciate and evaluate the works by themselves. These artworks' value is primarily determined by their own aesthetic level or more practically whether the artworks are close to taste of the masses. In Modern time, in one sense, a novel's sale reveals its value; a movie's box office success reflects its value; the sale of a music determines its value. Ostensibly, the process of creating and appreciating takes place between the artists and the masses: there is nothing left for critics. However, critics' function is indispensable in the course of appreciating beauty. Because ordinary people are less professional and their time spent on artwork is limited, they contact fewer artworks than those of the critics in a period of time. In fact, it is up to the critics to find out the potential valuable artworks waiting for appreciating for the masses. And their professional suggestion of the artworks will influence relatively non-professional ordinary people's estimate. Thus, in this sense, the critics determine which artworks people may appreciate and influence the course of appreciating.


When it comes to the artworks of profound meanings, like many impressionism works, whose value is beyond most people's appreciating ability, the function of critics is more important. With professional acuity, the critics are more believable than ordinary people when recognizing the abstract, indigestible, but valuable artworks. Without the critics' contribution, these artworks that may be of paramount importance in future may not be taken care, or not be properly preserved by the contemporary people. Then all the human being may lose a great amount of art treasures. Moreover, the critics can introduce the artwork to people, induce people to appreciate the artwork. Thus they boost the level of human being's aesthetics, which can also be regarded as part of lasting value.

In sum, on one hand, the function of artists, who create the artworks, is fundamental and essential. On the other hand, the function of critics, who recognize and evaluate the meaningful ones, is easily neglected but also indispensable.

czl223UID：2120177

issue144 论坛上第一篇，没有例子，498words，60min

issue144 498words,60min
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
提纲：艺术家的作用
b1有两种艺术，评论家的作用不用
b2大众艺术，评论家作用
b3深奥的艺术，评论家作用

下面是经G10T5 和guesser198414批改后我修改的，谢谢两位

The claim that artist, not the critic, gives society something of lasting value is not accurate. Artists' contribution of artwork can be easily recognized. They create the artwork. Without their dedication, there is no artwork, so there is nothing to be admired or to be evaluated. Thus the artists' function is prerequisite and essential.开头看起来好像是赞成艺术家的作用的。怎么底下分析的都是critics啊。还有开头说了这么多，真不知道主题是什么啊。

这边一开头就用个however， 好像是要否定上一段似的。个人观点没必要用。However, the critics are also necessary to create lasting artwork. They serves as to introduce the work, explain it, and praise or criticize it, whose function is not direct, but cannot be neglected. Given that the human's appreciating level is not constant, the artwork could be divide into two groups: those cannot be appreciated by most contemporary people and those can be appreciated by most people. Critics' function to those two groups of artwork can be elaborated by a case-by-case analysis.
分两方面说不错，很好的idea
As for those can be easily accessible to most contemporary people and not very obscurity, such as most novel, films, music, and some paintings, it seems that ordinary people can appreciate and evaluate the works by themselves. These artworks' value is primarily determined by their own aesthetic level or more practically whether the artworks are close to taste of the masses. In Modern time, in one sense, a novel's sale reveals its value; a movie's box office success reflects its value; the sale of a music determines its value. Ostensibly, the process of creating and appreciating takes place between the artists and the masses: there is nothing left for critics. However, critics' function is indispensable in the course of appreciating beauty. Because ordinary people are less professional and their time spent on artwork is limited, they contact fewer artworks than those of the critics in a period of time. In fact, it is up to the critics to find out the potential valuable artworks waiting for appreciating for the masses. And their professional suggestion of the artworks will influence relatively non-professional ordinary people's estimate. Thus, in this sense, the critics determine which artworks people may appreciate and influence the course of appreciating.


When it comes to the artworks of profound meanings, like many impressionism works, whose value is beyond most people's appreciating ability, the function of critics is more important. With professional acuity, the critics are more believable than ordinary people when recognizing the abstract, indigestible, but valuable artworks. Without the critics' contribution, these artworks that may be of paramount importance in future may not be taken care, or not be properly preserved by the contemporary people. Then all the human being may lose a great amount of art treasures. Moreover, the critics can introduce the artwork to people, induce people to appreciate the artwork. Thus they boost the level of human being's aesthetics, which can also be regarded as part of lasting value.

In sum, on one hand, the function of artists, who create the artworks, is fundamental and essential.简单的重复 On the other hand, the function of critics, who recognize and evaluate the meaningful ones, is easily neglected but also indispensable.
总的来说，起始点是不错，可是论证的时候好像思维还是有点乱。条理再清晰一点会更好。

fxs_007UID：2101152

谢谢czl223，经你建议我又改了一下

你几号考啊