argument145 oceanus4月作文小组3月29日第五次作业

oceanusUID：2283238

感觉最近写的a, 不但没有进步反而退步了，郁闷中。

TOPIC: ARGUMENT145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.
WORDS: 313          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2007-3-29

The author reaches a recommendation that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. But there are some flaws in the argument.

First of all, the author unfairly assumes that people gain more weight is due to they snore, rather than other alternatives. It is not necessary that there is a causal relationship between snoring and gaining weight. On the contrary, maybe there is certain physical condition that causes both snoring and gaining weight. So, the author should provide sufficient evidence to demonstrate the relationship between snoring and gaining weight.

What is more, the author cites many people who snore stop breathing frequently during the night a few seconds, but what is the exact number, and what is the percentage of people who snore compared to the total? The author talks nothing about it. In short, the author can not convince me only with the vague number.

Granted that there is a causal relationship between snoring and gaining weight, it is not certain that the method that try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more will take effect. In terms of the author's demonstration, the sleep apnea leaves the person too tired during the day. So if the person compels himself to eat less and exercise more, they will probably be tired. If this continues several days, they will be tire out and hurt themselves.

Finally, the author points out that many people who snore stop breathing frequently, not all people. Hence, how can the author conclude that anyone who snores should try to eat less and exercise more? It is unwarranted and unconvincing.

Overall, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strength the argument, the author should provide more evident to demonstrate the relationship between snoring and gaining weight. Moreover, the author also should rule out other possible alternatives.

songxjtuUID：2253904

The author reaches a recommendation that anyone who snores should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more. But there are some flaws in the argument.

First of all, the author unfairly assumes that people gain more weight is due to they snore, rather than other alternatives. It is not necessary that there is a causal relationship between snoring and gaining weight. On the contrary, maybe there is certain physical condition that causes both snoring and gaining weight. So, the author should provide sufficient evidence to demonstrate the relationship between snoring and gaining weight.

What is more, the author cites that many people who snore stop breathing frequently during the night (for) a few seconds, but what is the exact number, and what is the percentage of people who snore compared to the total? The author talks nothing about it. In short, the author can not convince me only with the vague number.（我觉得数据模糊这个概念应该攻击 the new study ）

Granted that there is a causal relationship between snoring and gaining weight, it is not certain that the method that try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more will take effect. In terms of the author's demonstration, the sleep apnea leaves the person too tired during the day. So if the person compels himself to eat less and exercise more, they will probably be tired. If this continues several days, they will be tire out and hurt themselves.

Finally, the author points out that many people who snore stop breathing frequently, not all people(可以扩展成句子). Hence, how can the author conclude that anyone who snores should try to eat less and exercise more?（多举出一些反例或可能使论证更充分） It is unwarranted and unconvincing.

Overall, the argument is unconvincing as it stands. To strength the argument, the author should provide more evident(evidence) to demonstrate the relationship between snoring and gaining weight. Moreover, the author also should rule out other possible alternatives.

少攻击了调查 有些地方论证不太充分多举出一些例子或可能性可能会更好些