issue218 oceanus4月作文小组3月30日作业

oceanusUID：2283238

TOPIC: ISSUE218 - "In order for any work of art-whether film, literature, sculpture, or a song-to have merit, it must be understandable to most people."
WORDS: 415          TIME: 0:59:00          DATE: 2007-3-31
提纲：
不同意文章观点，提出被一本分人理解就可。
说明为什么是一部份人而不是大多是人。
被一部分人理解就可以获得价值。
相反，如果要追求被大多数人理解会怎样。
总结。

In my point of view, in order for any work of art to have merit, it is necessary to make the work understandable to not most people but a part of people.

In the first place, because the target of the artist to compose is to please, it is almost impossible to make the work of art understandable to most people. Yet, as a mater of fact, the targets of the real artist are not to compose and the real artist also is sure about their destination when they begin. Take the writer as a example, in the field of literature, the writer have little idea where they are gong when they take the first step to compose and there is radical changes of destination once the journey has begun. Furthermore, man is consisted of all kinks of person. Just like one can not expect everyone will like him, it is also difficult to make most people understand the artist work. Therefore, when the artists accomplish their work, there are always only some people understanding their works.

What's more, it is enough that a part of people understand the work of art to have merit. Mona Lisa is well-known in the world; almost everyone knows it has enormous merit. But do most people understand it? In fact, there are a lot of people do not understand it. At least, most of those around me do not understand it. Otherwise, there are many sculptures now and it always has a symbolic meaning, but most of people do not understand it at all. The sculpture is only a scenery in their world. In sum, the work of art does not need to be understood by most of people to have merit.

Finally, on the contrary, if the artist pursues that their work should be understood by most people, it can be their undoing: they have begun to please. The temptation to cover the distance between himself and the reader is the poison for the writer. He may lose himself and think nothing about how to compose a good work; what he thinks is to please the reader and it is always impossible to realize it. So, it is not a good idea to make the work of art understandable to most people.

In conclusion, the work of art achieves its merit always when a part of people understand it. To make the work of art understandable to most people is almost impossible and not a good thing.

[ 本帖最后由 oceanus 于 2007-3-31 10:33 编辑 ]

寂寞樱花UID：2306511

In my point of view, in order for any work of art to have merit, it is necessary to make the work understandable to not most people but a part of people.(开头有点短，而且建议不要重复题目）

In the first place, because the target of the artist to compose is to please（please who？自己还是别人？）, it is almost impossible to make the work of art understandable to most people. Yet, as a matter of fact, the targets of the real artist are not to compose and the real artist also is sure about their destination when they begin. （觉得这句话可以改一改，比如：The real aritst whose target is not to compose are always sure about their destination when they begin.另外一个问题是两个分句之间感觉没有什么关系，还是应该是not sure？还有不是很理解如果目的不是创作那目的是什么……建议可以稍微解释一下。）Take the（可以不用the） writer as a example, in the field of literature（我不知道这个词在这里是否准确，但是我还没找出更好的，呵呵，可以斟酌一下）, the writer have（has have） little idea where they are going to when they take the first step to compose and there is（are） radical changes of destination once the journey has begun.（呵呵，根据这个例子看来貌似上面应该是not sure，要不然就矛盾了……） Furthermore, man is consisted of all kinks（kinds） of person.（感觉这句话有点别扭，虽然能理解，或者可以说everyone is diffierent from others？或者every two persons are not the same？……我自己也觉得别扭了，汗……） Just like one can not（我上新东方的老师说cannot应该连在一起写，呵呵，不过我觉得这个问题不大） expect everyone will（to） like him, so it is also difficult to make most people understand the artist work. Therefore, when the artists have accomplished their work, there are always only some people understanding their works.

What's more, it is enough that a（可以不用，不确定） part of people understand the work of art to have merit（这个在语法上是不是有点问题？it is enough for a work to have merit that part of people understand it. 这样读起来会不会好一点？）. Mona Lisa is well-known in the world; almost everyone knows it has enormous merit. But do most people understand it?（这句没有问题啦，不过如果我写的话可能会这样写：But how many people understand it indeed？要不和后面一句看上去是同一句话。） In fact, there are a lot of people do not understand it. At least, most of those around me do not understand it. Otherwise, there are many sculptures now and it（建议换成which，然后把now移到最后） always has（have） a symbolic meaning but（and，没有转折关系吧） most of（删掉） people do not understand it at all now. （插句废话，突然想起了双年展…… ^_^）The sculpture is only a scenery in their world. In sum, the work of art does not need to be understood by most of people to have merit.

Finally, on the contrary, if the artist pursues that their work should be understood（感觉稍微有点罗嗦，建议直接换成个understanding） by most people, it can be their undoing: they have begun to please（……这不是和开头矛盾了么，难道开头是not to please？如果是这样，最好不要犯这种错误，还有最好指明please who。）. The temptation to cover the distance between himself and the reader is the poison for the writer. He may lose himself and think nothing about how to compose a good work; what he thinks is to please the reader and it is always impossible to realize it. So, it is not a good idea to want to make the work of art understandable to most people.

In conclusion, the work of art achieves its merit always when a part of people understand it. To make the work of art understandable to most people is almost impossible and not a good thing.（和开头一样，可以再加工一下，不过短小精悍也不错，呵呵）


基本上来说，感觉poisition和structure都不错，例子也比较贴切。
语言的组织是个问题，不过可能个人的语言习惯不同，这点如果有时间的话多背点文章应该能解决。
改的不恰当的地方还请见谅，不好意思今天网络有点问题所以晚了。

oceanusUID：2283238

呵呵，受益匪浅，确实太粗心了，我的i写的不好，会努力的，非常谢谢