issue38 mars战队2.20日

娓娓动听UID: 2189595

38"In the age of television, reading books is not as important as it once was. People can learn as much by watching television as they can by reading books."
提纲：
Topic sentence: Though each has its advantages, television and books are incapable to win over each other.
Learning through reading books have its merit: active process, theoretical problem, primitive ideas, thoughts
Television also has its appealing traits: push one to be engrossed, lively video, help people to disentangle from social pressures.

正文
The technologies produced by scientific research are applied to all aspects of human life and hence have been a powerful force to shaping and recasting the institutions of daily life; the advent of television has provided us a new way to study. But it may be doubtable to contend that television can offer us as much as reading books in the age of television. In my opinion, learning via television and reading books both have their advantages and are incapable to win over each other.

Reading book has several merits that are not possessed by television. For the first thing, reading books is an active process in which you can choose what, when and where to read. It is quite convenient to take a book with oneself and one can read on the beach, during the travel, or anytime one wants to read. More importantly, one can make choices and comparisons among the numberless books that have similar or same topics and themes and hence abstract the essence of different books. Besides, books often offer people the primitive ideas, thoughts that are not changed artificially. Finally, books give us knowledge, especially the theoretical ones, which are usually arduous to understand during a TV program.

Television also has some appealing traits. Albeit the content, format and time of television programs are controlled by the TV station and audience cannot choose freely, perhaps it is just due to this kind of limitation which will generate effective pressure and push one to be engrossed to assimilate the contents delivered by the short time program, just as the old saying goes that the book cannot be read unless he borrowed from others. Furthermore, television brings people a light-hearted learning process through displaying us lively video, not bald words, graphs, and figures. In addition, because of the advanced technology, there has been so many channels that provide exuberant programs to enrich human life and help people to disentangle from the oppressive social pressures.

Simply put, everything has its strengths and weaknesses, just as Benjamin Franklin says (and I paraphrase), “In almost every face and every person, they may discover fine feathers and defects, good and bad qualities”. It is true that television has offered people a good supplement for learning due to its appealing traits and easygoing nature, but one cannot arbitrarily posits which is more important and which is less. As a rational human, one should be able to adopt the proper methods according to one's background in which one underlies.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-2-21 23:44 编辑 ]

lazzycatUID: 205352

The technologies produced[brought是不是更好些？] by scientific research are applied to all aspects of human life and hence have been a powerful force to shaping[shape] and recasting[recast] the institutions of daily life[这句话有点中式英语的感觉]; the advent of television has provided us a new way to study[动词用得不好，provide应该找另外的词代替]. But it may be doubtable to contend that[这个句式也觉得很怪] television can offer us as much as reading books in the age of television. In my opinion, learning via [watching]television and reading books both have their advantages[后面不用吧？] and are incapable to win over each other.

Reading book has several merits that are not possessed by television. For the first thing, reading books is an active process in which you can choose what, when and where to read. It is quite convenient to take a book with oneself and one can read on the beach, during the travel, or anytime one wants to read. More importantly, one can make choices and comparisons among the numberless books that have similar or same topics and themes and hence abstract the essence of different books. Besides, books often offer people the primitive ideas, thoughts that are not changed artificially. Finally, books give us knowledge, especially the theoretical ones, which are usually arduous to understand during a TV program.[生动但是不深刻，我也有这个毛病，看上去比较空。]

Television also has some appealing traits. Albeit the content, format and time of television programs are controlled by the TV station and audience cannot choose freely, perhaps it is just due to this kind of limitation which will generate effective pressure and push one to be engrossed to assimilate the contents delivered by the short time program, just as the old saying goes that the book cannot be read unless he borrowed from others.[这个复杂句式有问题。] Furthermore, television brings people a light-hearted learning process through displaying us lively video, not bald words, graphs, and figures. In addition, because of the advanced technology, there has been[改为There has existed] so many channels that provide exuberant programs to enrich human life and help people to disentangle from the oppressive social pressures.

Simply put, everything has its strengths and weaknesses, just as Benjamin Franklin says (and I paraphrase), “In almost every face and every person, they may discover fine feathers and defects, good and bad qualities”. It is true that television has offered people a good supplement for learning due to its appealing traits and easygoing nature, but one cannot arbitrarily posits which is more important and which is less. As a rational human, one should be able to adopt the proper methods according to one's background in which one underlies.[结尾不错]


感觉错误比较多，说了不要生气啊！主要是为了进步嘛！
1、感觉chingish比较严重，有些复杂句式用的不是很妥当。其实主要还是能说清楚问题就行。
2、有些动词和形容词的用法要注意，有一些用的不是很恰当。
3、文章显得比较空，不具说服力，应该要再深入些。

加油加油吧！

[ 本帖最后由 lazzycat 于 2006-2-23 00:47 编辑 ]