Issue53 【越洋农场站队】morallrey同主题写作

morallreyUID: 2191298

TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 569          TIME: 50:00          DATE: 2006-7-24

         What's the definition of leadership? It's seemingly a not easy a concept to definite, but one can clearly see the vital importance of a leader in a group. To enhance the coalition and morale, an effective leader should certainly obey common ethical and moral standards while he needn't to be deprived of the necessary liberty as a human being.

         To begin with, as the symbol of a group, a tribe, a nation, or a country, a leader should not only be confirm to elemental ethical and moral standards, but also show the charismas and personality a qualified leader need to have. What different a leader and a team member or a citizen is the authority and power of the leader. Therefore, in order to enhance the authority and power such as determining the task of a group, judging the guilt of a member, communicating with the leaders of other institution or country, a leader should convince his partisan to the rules and regulation he brings about. If not, it will jeopardize the union deeply that his people do not hew to these guidelines. Consider the ancient emperor Jie, a kingdom known for his atrocity, as an example, all he had done is to satisfy his narrow personal interest whether it hurt the populace or officials. Not even knowing the fatigue of ploughing a farm, he committed killing a person in all kinds of cruel methods to his mind, whether is to rip the limbs of the unfortunate, or to roast the inferior to death. Universally discontent to the tyrant, his people hold a mass-destruction rebellion, and lash the kingdom to death, even doing this, a man in the country said ,(and a paraphrase), "a emperor who doesn’t know the hardships of people will never know the tomb where he will be intered!"

      Furthermore, only by applying to a high lever of ethical and moral standards can the leader make the group much more powerful and increase the reverence of his group.  As can be seen from Chairman Mao, most eminent statesman in Chinese history since the establishment of new China, regardless of the poverty of china in the middle of last century, he, with his prominent individual charm, gained perfect respect and honor of other leaders in neighborhood as well as faraway countries, hence though not strong in economy, China is widely acknowledged as a powerful country. In his memoir, he said:” it’s the excellent tradition and standards of   motherland inherited from so long-span a history that inspire me to endeavor for the happiness of people and prosperity of our great country ”,Therefore, a excellent leader, maintaining a high level of ethical and moral standards,  is of vital importance to a powerful country.

     However, being a common citizen as his people, a leader should also have his own liberty or freedom. As prime minister in the democratic country ---English, British leader Blair, also has some vacation in his schedule full of politic affairs. It's unreasonable to command a leader to do everything without giving him or her any freedom.

    To sum up, as an effective leader, a public offical should maintain ethical and moral standards, determined by his authority and power. Also, to make the group or institution more powerful, he should do this as well. But "In the face of god, every people is the same", a leader can also have the elementary right as other citizens.  
   
    原文没这么多，被我改了一下。请大家拍砖！

[ 本帖最后由 morallrey 于 2006-7-24 21:36 编辑 ]

糖豆豆UID: 2138427

第一次改别人的，（/）代表删除
TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 569          TIME: 50:00          DATE: 2006-7-24

         What's(据说尽量写成What is比较正式，而且开头这样印象不好) the definition of leadership? It's （同上）seemingly a（/） not easy a concept to definite（开头注意点语法，免得吃亏）, but one can clearly see the vital importance of a leader in a group. To enhance the coalition and morale（555，哭下我的词汇量）, an effective leader should certainly obey common ethical and moral standards while he needn't to be deprived of the necessary liberty as a human being（这句是不是说遵守道德就没有做人的自由了？？）.

         To begin with, as the symbol of a group, a tribe, a nation, or a country, a leader should not only be confirm（ed） to elemental ethical and moral standards, but also show the charismas and personality a qualified leader need to have. What different（differs） a leader and a team member or a citizen is the authority and power of the leader. Therefore, in order to enhance the authority and power such as（such as换成of好点，或者authority and power换成rights？可能我钻牛角尖了） determining the task of a group, judging the guilt of a member, communicating with the leaders of other institution or country, a leader should convince his partisan to（少个动词？obey？） the rules and regulation he brings about. If not, it will jeopardize the union deeply that his people do not hew to these guidelines（if not, the union will be jeopardized by the people who do not hew to these guidelines）. Consider the ancient emperor Jie, a kingdom（king） known for his atrocity, as an example, all he had done is to satisfy his narrow personal interest（s） whether it hurt the populace or officials（呵呵，chenglish）. Not even knowing the fatigue of ploughing a farm（和残暴有关系吗？）, he committed killing a person in all kinds of cruel methods to his mind, whether is to rip the limbs of the unfortunate, or to roast the inferior to death. Universally discontent to the tyrant, his people hold a mass-destruction rebellion, and lash the kingdom to death, even doing this, a man in the country said ,(and a paraphrase), "a emperor who doesn’t know the hardships of people will never know the tomb where he will be intered!" （这段显得很混乱主题句后面的引申太多，最后降到了“不得民心不得天下”，有跑题之嫌）

      Furthermore, only by applying to a high lever of ethical and moral standards can the leader make the group much more powerful and increase the reverence of his group.  As can be seen from Chairman Mao, most eminent statesman in Chinese history since the establishment of new China（晕，ETS也许不会说什么，老毛未必同意，你剥夺了他解放前的领导权）, regardless of the poverty of c（C）hina in the middle of last century, he, with his prominent individual charm, gained perfect respect and honor of other leaders in neighborhood as well as faraway countries, hence though not strong in economy, China is widely acknowledged as a powerful country. In his memoir, he said:” it’s the excellent tradition and standards of   motherland inherited from so long-span a history that inspire me to endeavor for the happiness of people and prosperity of our great country ”,Therefore, a excellent leader, maintaining a high level of ethical and moral standards,  is of vital importance to a powerful country.

     However, being a common citizen as his people, a leader should also have his own liberty or freedom. （问题同第一段）As prime minister in the democratic country ---English, British leader Blair, also has some vacation in his schedule full of politic affairs. It's unreasonable to command a leader to do everything without giving him or her any freedom.

    To sum up, as an effective leader, a public offic（i）al should maintain ethical and moral standards, determined by his authority and power（the authority and power he has to maintain细看还是有意思上的差别的）. Also, to make the group or institution more powerful, he should do this as well. But "In the face of god, every people is the same", a leader can also have the elementary right as other citizens.（…）


总体上来看结构还蛮清楚，最佩服的是词汇和字数啊（555，再次痛哭），个人水平有限，不对的地方请多包涵。:lol

鄙人拙作，欢迎来拍：https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

morallreyUID: 2191298

感谢糖豆豆改得这么细心!

词汇量可以多红宝的单词以同意关联的方式背背,
提高字数我觉得一个最有效的办法就是采取中立的角度,
正面说了反面说,有思想,话自然就多了

morallreyUID: 2191298

谢 zhangna02642
我的机考已经考了, 这篇是我开始常识law的时候写的,确实写的不好!
不过看得出，你的语感和功底还是很不错的