Argument051 【南智小组 Norman第16次作业】期待板砖！

norman518UID: 188582

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 271          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-12-22
Edited: 537             Time: 30+30min

In this newsletter, the editor suggests that all patients with muscle strain would take antibiotics for the sake of healing quickly based on the hypothesis that some patients with severe muscle strain could suffer secondary infections. To support this hypothesis, the editor provides a study of two groups of patients. After looking through, I find this argument is full of fallacies from premise and reasoning to conclusion.

Above all, the premise of hypothesis is suspectable. Firstly, to support the hypothesis, the editor provides the results of study of two groups, but fails to provide any detailed information about patients of the two groups, such as their age, the level of muscle strain and physical condition. It is high likely that patients in the first group are younger, lighter strain and stronger physical than those in the second group. If this is true, the patients in first group whose quick recuperation is irrelative to the use of antibiotics. Secondly, the two doctors in charge of two groups are a virtual factor to cure their muscle strain, common sense tells us that a doctor specialized in sports medicine is more skilled at muscle strain than a general physician. Finally, the editor fails to take into account the function of sugar pills to the patients' recuperation. It is likely possible that those patients in second group are all born with diabetes, our experiences tell us that it is certain for diabetes to take sugar pills would make their cases worse and even keep them from healing quickly. So, the editor still could not convince me that the hypothesis is reliable unless ruling out above possibility.

Even if the premise of hypothesis is tenable, it is arbitrary for the editor to suggest that all patients diagnosed as muscle strain should take antibiotic merely according to above hypothesis. In this newsletter, the editor provides no information about accurate proportion of those with muscle strain who could suffer to secondary infection. It is highly possible that most of muscle strain only suffer to light inflamed rather than secondary infection. In this case, most of patients should take anti-inflamed medicine rather antibiotics. And more, it is totally different level between muscle strain and severe muscle strain. It is high possible that those with severe muscle strain could be severe broken in their arms and legs which are the main factors to lead to secondary infections rather than muscle strain itself. What is worse is that the editor actually suggests all patients with muscle strains should take antibiotics in order to recover quickly. Were the editor neglecting the negative and side effects of antibiotics to healthy, he must have been scanty of essentially professional morality. The medical experiences tell us that antibiotics could deal with the severe infection with bacteria as well as normal cells. If the editor could not rule out above cases, his suggestion is totally unreasonable.

In sum, the editorial suggestion is irrational and even ridiculous. To strengthen his suggestion, he should provide more evidence about the detailed information of both groups of patients, doctors' skill and sugar pills' effects. To better evaluate this suggestion, the editor should also provide more accurate statistic data about patients, the information and effects of antibiotics.

[ 本帖最后由 norman518 于 2006-12-24 04:36 编辑 ]

ntmlgszUID: 2235666

TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appearedin a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep somepatients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis hasnow been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients.The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr.Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibioticsregularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average,40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, allbeing treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills,although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their averagerecuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients whoare diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics aspart of their treatment."
WORDS: 271          TIME: 0:30:00         DATE: 2006-12-22
Edited: 537             Time: 30+30min

In this newsletter, the editor suggests that all patients with muscle strainwould take antibiotics for the sake of healing quickly based on the hypothesis that some patients with severe muscle strain couldsuffer secondary infections. [假说是你说的这个样子的吗？请仔细阅读下题目，假说是说二次感染可能会防止严重肌肉拉伤患者快速康复] To support thishypothesis, the editor provides a study of two groups of patients. Afterlooking through, I find this argument is full of fallacies from premise andreasoning to conclusion. [后面说的没什么问题]

Above all, the premise of hypothesis is susceptible. Firstly, to support thehypothesis, the editor provides the results of study of two groups, but failsto provide any detailed information about patients of the two groups, such astheir age, the level of muscle strain and physical condition. It is high likely that patients in the first group areyounger, lighter strain and stronger physical than those in the second group.[我不觉得非常likely,牵强，以后要少写些牵强的，要说服力强的才是啊] If this is true, the patients in first group whose quickrecuperation is irrelative [前面+probably,否则太绝对了] to the use of antibiotics. Secondly, the two doctors in charge oftwo groups are a virtual factor to cure their muscle strain, common sense tellsus that a doctor specialized in sports medicine is more skilled at musclestrain than a general physician. Finally, the editor fails to take into accountthe function of sugar pills to the patients' recuperation. It is likely possible that those patients in second group areall born with diabetes, our experiences tell us that it is certain for diabetesto take sugar pills would make their cases worse and even keep them fromhealing quickly. [这么极端的例子都敢举？我要是攻击你写的文章首先就攻击你的极端牵强例子] So, the editor stillcould not convince me that the hypothesis is reliable unless ruling out above possibility. [看了你的陈述觉得要排除你说的这些基本不可能的possibility是不可能的，太极端]

Even if the premise of hypothesis is tenable, it is arbitrary for the editor tosuggest that all patients diagnosed as muscle strain should take antibioticmerely according to above hypothesis. In this newsletter, the editor providesno information about accurate proportion of those with muscle strain who couldsuffer to secondary infection. It is highly possible [请你在用highly possible之前考虑下后面说的是不是真的是highlypossible，我怎么觉得都是可能性不大的啊？] that most of musclestrain only suffer to light inflamed rather than secondary infection. In this case, most of patients should take anti-inflamedmedicine rather antibiotics.[看来你是学医药学的？这点我是不知道的] And more, it is totallydifferent levels between muscle strain and severe muscle strain. It is high possible [同上]that those with severemuscle strain could be severe broken in their arms and legs which are the mainfactors to lead to secondary infections rather than muscle strain itself. Whatis worse is that the editor actually suggests all patients with muscle strainsshould take antibiotics in order to recover quickly. Werethe editor neglecting the negative and side effects of antibiotics to healthy, [你这里是一般疑问句啊] he must have been [must吗？] scanty of essentially professional morality. The medical experiencestell us that antibiotics could deal with the severe infection with bacteria aswell as normal cells. If the editor could not rule out above cases, hissuggestion is totally unreasonable. [这里的语言太过于激烈和绝对化了]

In sum, the editorial suggestion is irrational and even ridiculous. To strengthen his suggestion,he should provide more evidence about the detailed information of bothgroups of patients, doctors' skill and sugar pills' effects. To better evaluate this suggestion, the editor should also provide more accurate statisticdata about patients, the information and effects of antibiotics.[最后三句里面还有两句还是重复句型]


为作文还专门PM偶，恰巧这篇写过，所以偶就改了，ISSUE没时间改，你们组队的应该会看的，以后不能每次都给你改，还有别人的。总之这篇文章逻辑错误找了很多，但是文章的逻辑结构还有待提高，记住不要用极端例子，语言方面一般，偶写得非常不好，很多评价不到位，有错误之处请指出也请包涵。



[ 本帖最后由 ntmlgsz 于 2006-12-24 11:02 编辑 ]

norman518UID: 188582

Angel Forrest：
  谢谢你的修改！感觉问题多多！我下来认真想想！
  Merry Christmas! @

lalahUID: 2215160

先顶一下~