issue41 <米国有米>第九次作业-主流和非主流之-拍死我吧~~~

ernest81888UID: 2247639

“Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science.”

Syllabus:
Disagree with the claim. Those kinds of pseudoscience is a way of producing psychological solace ,as well as a way of igniting the better-living hope for people in the world today or before, however it would not be true when concerning about its priority in society at times or in future.

View1: some major reason why people resort to pseudoscience and the effect may bring about by pseudoscience. 人们在无法抗拒的自然规律面前，显的很渺小，导致一些人的退缩along with 无奈（原因）从而这种退缩和无奈，使人们把目标投向了非主流科学。（结果）从正面的意义上讲，非主流科学一定程度上缓解人们的压力，寄予人理想和希望，同时给予人类一种安慰。

View2: However, nonmainstream can not dominate one’s life. There is no one “right” way to get ahead-that each of them is a different person, starting from a different point and bound for a different destination. 真正对社会起决定性作用的还是科学的进步和人类的自身奋斗。

View3: 其实非主流科学是没有根据的，是伪科学。

结尾 with the rapid developing knowledge and science, the priority of such nonmainstream is not as major as it was before. 从历史角度来，从古至今，随着社会的发展，教育水平的提高，曾今一度流行盛广的“科学”慢慢的已经退居2线，科技进步，是人们更了解世界形成发展的规律。人们生病时不在更多的寻求万灵药，或是巫师做法，取而代之的是去正规的医院接受治疗，同样的，在遇到自然灾害的同时，他们会选择用科学的眼光分析客观规律，而不是祭祀。从某种程度上讲非主流科学已经慢慢转变成一种供人们消遣和娱乐

According to this statement, the author alleges nonmainstream area such as astrology, fortune-telling psychology and paranormal pursuit amount to something vital for our society .Although those nonmainstream, as is a way of producing psychological solace, as well as a way of igniting and satisfying the better-living hope of people in the world today or in history. However, in my view, it would not be true enough when concerning about its priority in society at times or in future. Such inquiries are irrational and are more likely to bring about serious harm to their participant or the society.

In the first place, I want to talk about the major reason why those nonmainstream area inquiries still being popular among people in today’s high-advanced technology society. Facing with the powerful natural regulation and system, people might found themselves too small as could be neglected to fight for their own lives. If failed in their effort, then some of them turn to be anxious, fared, or discouraged, they are frustrated but without any help arising from mainstream area, Nonmainstream areas, to some extend, meet the psychology needs for them. Under such situations, it is not surprising that a great number of people resort to nonmainstream to mitigate or appease their cool heart for life. To say it in a positive way, those kinds of nonmainstream areas are beneficial to release human-being’s living press, as well as are conducing to provide them with living hopes. Also, they make their contributions to render psychology solace in some degree.

However, the result or theory from nonmainstream research realm can not dominate one’s destination. Common sense tells us, there is no one “right” way to go ahead-that each of us is a different person, starting from different point and bound for a different destination. Life is controlled by ourselves as is based on one’s own personal struggle which is superior to fortune-telling or other unreasoned forecast. So no one could seriously conclude that someone who will grow up poor, live in a bad neighborhood, and will attend an inferior school as it is lacking of logical reason to explain the assumption that make it seems unbelievable.

Actually those non-mainstream areas, to a great extent, are pseudoscience which are worthless to be believed in and admired. Take astrology as an example. According to the theory of astrology, one’s own destiny and character are determined by the date of its birth and the constellation. In the year of 1975, a physicist named John McCrery carried out an experiment that he investigated 16634 scientists and 6475 politicians and their birthdays as well. However, the statistics demonstrated that the dates of their birth did not converge on one certain constellation but distributed averagely all over of them. Another apt illustration of this point involves the instance of Lee-Shun(a Taiwanese survived from a current earthquake )When he retrospect to the huge earthquake of Taiwan happened in 2006, which led to the deaths of two thousands of people，he said(and I paraphrase), “all those victims had the same fate but the constellation of their births were totally different.” The theories of western astrology and those no mainstream inquiries indeed do not refer merely to the constellation, they include complicated contents, yet the analysis of destiny and all that are irrational pseudoscience without any plausibility.

In sum, with the rapid developing technology and science, though some benefit it may bring about to us, the priority of such nonmainstream pursuit is not as major as it was in history. Human-being are now more educated than ever before, thus people knows to seek to their doctors when falling sick, but not aimlessly turn to the quack or panaceas. When encountering the natural disaster, they also learn to use a scientific view to analyze and find true reasons by replace the sacred or worship way prevalent in history. To say it in some degree, the priority of nonmainstream can not be vital in human’s society. Consequently, we should only treat them as entertainment but not the guidance to tell us how to proceed in life.

[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-1-14 16:19 编辑 ]

Silence0706UID: 2289145

According to this statement, the author alleges nonmainstream area such as astrology, fortune-telling psychology and paranormal pursuit amount to something vital for our society . Although those nonmainstream, as [is] a way of producing psychological solace, as well as a way of igniting and satisfying the better-living hope of people in the world today or in history.[这句话有问题，前面插入语不应该有动词，后面主句又没有动词，Although those nonmainstream can be treated as a way of producing psychological solace and of igniting and satisfying the better-living hope of people in the world today or in history.] However, in my view, it would not be true enough when concerning about its priority in society at times or in future. Such inquiries are irrational and are more likely to bring about serious harm to their participant or the society.

In the first place, I want to talk about the major reason why those nonmainstream area inquiries still being popular among people in today’s high-advanced technology society. Facing with the powerful natural regulation and system, people might found themselves too small as could be neglected to fight for their own lives. If failed in their effort, then some of them turn to be anxious, fared, or discouraged, they are frustrated but without any help arising from mainstream area, Nonmainstream areas, to some extend, [meet the psychology needs for them.][meet the needs of people in psychology] Under such situations, it is not surprising that a great number of people [resort to nonmainstream]->[turn to nonmainstream areas for help] to mitigate or appease their [cool-> vexed] heart for life. To say it in a positive way, those kinds of nonmainstream areas are beneficial to release human-being’s living press, as well as are conducing to provide them with living hopes. Also, they make their contributions to render psychology solace in some degree.

However, the result or theory from nonmainstream research realm can not dominate one’s destination. Common sense tells us, there is no [one] “right” way to go ahead-that each of us is [a different person], starting from different point and {bound-> bounding} for a different destination. Life is controlled by ourselves as is based on one’s own personal struggle which is superior to fortune-telling or other [unreasoned->unreasonable表不合理的] forecast. So no one could seriously conclude that someone who [will 表假设用一般现在时] grow up poor, live in a bad neighborhood, [and这里是主句 接前面的someone 不要and] [will->can] attend an inferior school [as这个AS接不起前面的句子，because 比较好] it [is lacking of] ->[lack] logical reason to explain the assumption that make it seems [unbelievable->believable].  [这个例子是别人的吧，我好像也看过，感觉这几句话是拼起来的]

Actually[,] those non-mainstream areas, to a great extent, are pseudoscience which are worthless to be [believed in 不知道能不能这样用 trusted应该可以] and admired. Take astrology as an example. According to the theory of astrology, one’s own destiny and character are determined by [the date of its birth][birthday] and the constellation. In the year of 1975, a physicist named John McCrery [carried out 好像不及物，accomplished] an experiment that he [investigated 16634 scientists and 6475 politicians and their birthdays as well.]-> [investigated the birthdays of 16634 scientists and 6475 politicians] However, the statistics demonstrated that the dates of their birth did not converge on one certain constellation but distributed averagely all over of them. Another apt illustration of this point involves the instance of Lee-Shun(a Taiwanese survived from a current earthquake )[.] When he retrospect to the huge earthquake of Taiwan happened in 2006, which led to the death of two thousands of people，he said(and I paraphrase), “all those victims had the same fate but the constellation of their births were totally different.” The theories of western astrology and those non mainstream inquiries indeed do not refer merely to the constellation, [they指代什么？] include complicated contents, yet the analysis of destiny [and all that] are irrational pseudoscience without any plausibility.[这句逻辑不是很清楚] [The theories of western astrology and those non mainstream inquiries, which include complicated contents, indeed do not refer merely to the constellation and the analysis of destiny is irrational pseudoscience without any plausibility.这样应该好一点]

In sum, [with the rapid developing technology and science, though some benefit it may bring about to us]->[nonmainstream areas may bring some benefit to us, however, with the rapid developing technology and science], the priority of such nonmainstream pursuit is not as [major?? ->important] as it was in history. Human-being are now more educated than ever before, thus people [knows 这里people 应为复数] to [seek这个词比较大，用在这里不是很适合] to their doctors when falling sick, but[表 而不是] [not删除] aimlessly turn to the [quack 感觉不是很正规，empiricist 仅供参考 :) ] or panaceas. When encountering the natural disaster, [they also learn to use a scientific view to analyze and find true reasons by replace the sacred or worship way prevalent in history.这句好乱啊] To say it in some degree, the priority of nonmainstream can not be vital in human’s society. Consequently, we should only treat them as entertainment but not the guidance to tell us how to proceed in [life]->[our lives].

[As 用的次数好多啊，有时候可以换几个词
注意句子和短语间的连接]

Silence0706UID: 2289145

有几个地方我也不太确定
如果改错了 请指出来  :) :)

[ 本帖最后由 Silence0706 于 2007-1-14 20:20 编辑 ]

ernest81888UID: 2247639

稍微做了下修改,等BLUE来批下,ANYWAY谢谢SILENCE

According to this statement, the author alleges nonmainstream area such as astrology, fortune-telling psychology and paranormal pursuit amount to something vital for our society .Although those nonmainstream, as is a way of producing psychological solace, as well as a way of igniting and satisfying the better-living hope of people in the world today or in history,in my view, it would not be true enough when concerning about its priority in society at times or in future. Such inquiries are irrational and are more likely to bring about serious harm to their participant or the society.

In the first place, I want to talk about the major reason why those nonmainstream area inquiries still being popular among people in today’s high-advanced technology society. Facing with the powerful natural regulation and system, people might found themselves too small as could be neglected to fight for their own lives. If failed in their effort, then some of them turn to be anxious, fared, or discouraged, they are frustrated but without any help arising from mainstream area, Nonmainstream areas, to some extend, meet the needs of people in psychology . Under such situations, it is not surprising that a great number of people resort to nonmainstream to mitigate or appease their vexed heart for life. To say it in a positive way, those kinds of nonmainstream areas are beneficial to release human-being’s living press, as well as are conducing to provide them with living hopes. Also, they make their contributions to render psychology solace in some degree.

However, the result or theory from nonmainstream research realm can not dominate one’s destination. Common sense tells us, there is no one “right” way to go ahead-that each of us is a different person, starting from different point and bound for a different destination. Life is controlled by ourselves as is based on one’s own personal struggle which is superior to fortune-telling or other unreasonable forecast. So no one could seriously conclude that someone who will grow up poor, live in a bad neighborhood, and will attend an inferior school as it lacks of logical reason to explain the assumption that make it seems unbelievable.

Actually those non-mainstream areas, to a great extent, are pseudoscience which are worthless to be believed in and admired. Take astrology as an example. According to the theory of astrology, one’s own destiny and character are determined by the date of its birth and the constellation. In the year of 1975, a physicist named John McCrery carried out an experiment that he investigated 16634 scientists and 6475 politicians and their birthdays as well. However, the statistics demonstrated that the dates of their birth did not converge on one certain constellation but distributed averagely all over of them. Another apt illustration of this point involves the instance of Lee-Shun(a Taiwanese survived from a current earthquake )When he retrospect to the huge earthquake of Taiwan happened in 2006, which led to the deaths of two thousands of people，he said(and I paraphrase), “all those victims had the same fate but the constellation of their births were totally different.” The theories of western astrology and those no mainstream inquiries indeed do not refer merely to the constellation, they include complicated contents, yet the analysis of destiny and all that are irrational pseudoscience without any plausibility.

In sum, with the rapid developing technology and science, though some benefit it may bring about to us, the priority of such nonmainstream pursuit is not as major as it was in history. Human-being are now more educated than ever before, thus people knows to seek to their doctors when falling sick, but not aimlessly turn to quacks or panaceas. When encountering the natural disaster, they also learn to use a scientific view to analyze and find true reasons replacing sacred or in worship way which were prevalent in history. To say it in some degree, the priority of nonmainstream can not be vital in human’s society. Consequently, we should only treat them as entertainment but not the guidance to tell us how to proceed in our lives.

[ 本帖最后由 ernest81888 于 2007-1-14 20:48 编辑 ]

bluecathyUID: 2231215

According to this statement, the author alleges nonmainstream area such as astrology, fortune-telling psychology and paranormal pursuit amount to something vital for our society .Although those nonmainstream, as is a[is one ] way of producing psychological solace, as well as a way of[and] igniting and satisfying the better-living hope of people in the world today or in history, [因为although需要连的是一个句子，但你之前的都是“作为……”的状语，所以这样给你改一下，或者说Although those nonmainstream had produced psychological solace in history and satisfied people’s better-living hope in modern world.]in my view, it would not be true enough when concerning about its priority in society at times or in future. Such inquiries are irrational and are more likely to bring about serious harm to their participant or the society.[第一段迅速点题，很好]

In the first place, I want to talk about the major reason why those nonmainstream area inquiries still being[are] popular among people in today’s high-advanced technology society. Facing with the powerful natural regulation and system, people might found[find] themselves too small [as could be neglected去掉，这样形成too...to的太而不能句式] to fight for their own lives. If failed in their effort, then some of them turn to be anxious, fared[fearful], or discouraged, they are frustrated [but去掉] without any help arising from mainstream area, Nonmainstream areas, to some extend[extent], meet the needs of people in psychology. Under such situations, it is not surprising that a great number of people resort to nonmainstream to mitigate or appease their vexed heart for life. To say it in a positive way, those kinds of nonmainstream areas are beneficial to release human-being’s living press[pressure], as well as are conducing to provide them with living hopes. Also, they make their contributions to render psychology solace in some degree. 立意不错啊，句子还是得斟酌下，这个缺点大家都一样，你还有50天的时间，句子肯定会越来越好的，相信自己。

However, the result or theory from nonmainstream research realm can not dominate one’s destination. Common sense tells us, there is no one “right” way to go ahead-[that这个that不怎么明白] each of us is a different person, starting from different point and bound for a different destination. Life is controlled by ourselves as is[it] based on one’s own personal struggle which is superior to fortune-telling or other unreasonable forecast. So no one could seriously[safely] conclude that someone [who去掉] will grow up poor, live in a bad neighborhood, and will attend an inferior school[举例这块，可以举正面反面两种，像是中国古代的互文] as[when] it lacks of logical reason to explain the assumption that make it seems unbelievable[unbelievable assumption].长句有点多，你也知道，对我们这样的非母语写作，除非是牛人，肯定是写得越多错误也就越多的。

Actually those non-mainstream areas, to a great extent, are pseudoscience which are worthless to be believed in and admired. Take astrology as an example. According to the theory of astrology, one’s own destiny and character are determined by the date of its birth and the constellation. In the year of 1975, a physicist named John McCrery carried out an experiment that he investigated 16634 scientists and 6475 politicians and their birthdays as well. However, the statistics demonstrated that the dates of their birth did not converge on one certain constellation but distributed averagely all over of them. Another apt illustration of this point involves the instance of Lee-Shun(a Taiwanese survived from a current earthquake )When he retrospect to the huge earthquake of Taiwan happened in 2006, which led to the deaths of two thousands of people，he said(and I paraphrase), “all those victims had the same fate but the constellation of their births were totally different.” The theories of western astrology and those no mainstream inquiries indeed do not refer merely to the constellation, they include complicated contents, yet the analysis of destiny and all that are irrational pseudoscience without any plausibility.我觉得这段句子就很流畅，例子讲得也很好。说明写短句大家还是相对擅长的。看了forone的文章后，我就更坚信，长句的尽头是短句，不必刻意追求长句的，只要句式变化够丰富就好了。

In sum, with the rapid developing technology and science, though some benefit it may bring about to us, the priority of such nonmainstream pursuit is not as major[chief] as it was in history. Human-being are now more educated than ever before, thus people know to seek [to去掉] their doctors when falling sick, but not aimlessly turn to quacks or panaceas. When encountering the natural disaster, they also learn to use a scientific view to analyze and find true reasons replacing sacred or in worship way which were prevalent in history. To say it in some degree, the priority of nonmainstream can not [加个always] be vital in human’s society. Consequently, we should only treat them as entertainment but not the guidance to tell[telling] us how to proceed in our lives.

680的字数很震撼啊！
嗯，文章写得中规中矩。你的提纲是层层递进的那种，个人觉得很不错。但语言需要雕琢一下，as用的比较多，其实还有since for because很多可以用啊，这些词会因为你冷落它们而不高兴的。呵呵，希望这句话能让你以后再写文章的时候想起这句话，然而想起来用那些词。还有单复数这个问题你还是该重视下的。加油！相信自己！共勉！

ernest81888UID: 2247639

;) 谢谢BLUE,我的语法真的很差.今天晚上写社会化,等着明天被森林狠批~~