Argument147 同主题作文

dayu_jinUID: 2286741

Argument147 "Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
Words:558                                      Date:2007-2-5

1.调查人数可能不够多，样本不具有代表性。
2.影响游戏质量的不仅画面，可能还有声音、操作性、剧情。
3.人们不可能为了玩游戏而去换计算机。
4.影响sales的因素很多，还有价格策略、销售渠道等。

In the argument, the arguer concluded that through extensive advertising campaign aiming at young people, the sales of Whirlwind video games will gain increasing sales. However, after close scrutiny of the evidences provided in the article, I find the argument suffers from several flaws, which render it unconvincing.

To begin with, the problem involves the survey conducted recently, which is not either statistically convincing or typical of the population the company want to inspect. Firstly, the arguer provided no evidence that the number of the objects is sufficient to draw the conclusion. In all likelihood the number of who replied to the survey represented only a very small portion of the whole population who play the video games. For example, in a country with millions of players, how can you draw any reliable conclusion just referring to only a hundred samples? Secondly, the survey may ignore several critical reasons influencing the accuracy of the conclusion, say, the geographic distribution of the population, the age of people surveyed, and also people's backgrounds which will certainly influence the likes and dislikes of certain kind of games. Without providing more specific information about the survey, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion based on the unreliable survey.

Even assuming the survey is reliable; the company will not necessarily increase sales by producing games providing lifelike graphics. Falsely assuming that it is the features in the game that mostly affect the sales of some game, the arguer ignores other equally important factors might contribute to the success of the game. As we all know, the video didn't only consist beautiful graphics, but it also is composed by moving music, interesting plots, comfort of controlling and so on. If the whirlwind video games are only outstanding in graphics, a person regarding controlling as the most important factor will not be inclined to their games no matter how grand the picture is. As a result, Whirlwind cannot rely only on the graphics to promote their games while neglecting other assessing standards of game's quality.

Thirdly, as illustrated in the argument, the new games require the most up-to-date computers; however, most players might not afford the cost to replacing their computers, thus causing little increase in the sales of Whirlwind games. The arguer assumes that all the computer of the players may meet the requirements of the game; nevertheless, this is not the case. A computer is not a quick-consumed product, and people usually keep one for several years until they are out-of-date. Through logic sense, most people will not substitute their two-year-old computers just in order to play new video games. Although crazy players might do so, most general people won't.

Besides all the flaws represented above, the arguer assumes that the sales will increase through only two factors, one is graphics, and the other is ads, while he ignores other factors might be credible for the improvement of sales. For example, the price strategy, the sales channel of the products, and the after-sale-service may also be important considerations. Without ruling out these possible influential reasons, the arguer cannot make sound his conclusion.

In sum, without considering other possibilities affecting the quality of the game and the sale of products or providing specific information with respect to the survey, the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind will surly gain dramatic growth is dubious at best.

谢谢大家了！留链必回拍！

[ 本帖最后由 dayu_jin 于 2007-2-5 12:41 编辑 ]

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http://bbs.gter.ce.cn/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=604075&extra=page%3D1%26amp%3Bfilter%3D0


In the argument, the arguer concluded（好像一般用现在式吧） that through extensive advertising campaign aiming at young people, the sales of Whirlwind video games will gain increasing sales. However, after close scrutiny of the evidences provided in the article, I find the argument suffers from several flaws, which render it unconvincing.

To begin with, the problem involves the survey conducted recently, which is not either statistically convincing or typical （a survey is typical?)of the population the company want to inspect. Firstly, the arguer provided no evidence that the number of the objects(samples) is sufficient to draw the conclusion. In all likelihood the number of who replied to the survey represented only a very small portion of the whole population who play the video games. For example, in a country with millions of players, how can you draw any reliable conclusion just referring to only a hundred samples? Secondly, the survey may ignore several critical reasons influencing the accuracy of the conclusion, say, the geographic distribution of the population, the age of people surveyed, and also people's backgrounds which will certainly influence the likes and dislikes of certain kind of games. Without providing more specific information about the survey, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion based on the unreliable survey.

Even assuming the survey is reliable; the company will not necessarily increase sales by producing games providing lifelike graphics. Falsely assuming that it is the features in the game that mostly affect the sales of some game(这句话没根据，如果承认数据有效性，在没说明数据和现实之前的差别之前， it is the features in the game that mostly affect the sales of some game应该是对的）, the arguer ignores other equally important factors might contribute to the success of the game. As we all know, the video didn't only consist beautiful graphics, but it also is composed(of) by moving music, interesting plots, comfort of controlling and so on. If the whirlwind video games are only outstanding in graphics, a person regarding controlling as the most important factor will not be inclined to their games no matter how grand the picture is. As a result, Whirlwind cannot rely only on the graphics to promote their games while neglecting other assessing standards of game's quality.
Thirdly, as illustrated in the argument, the new games require the most up-to-date computers; however, most players might not afford （the cost ）to replacing （replace)their computers, thus causing little increase in the sales of Whirlwind games. The arguer assumes that all the computer of the players may meet the requirements of the game; nevertheless, this is not the case. (这句话放在前面比较好）A computer is not a quick-consumed product, and people usually keep one for several years until they are out-of-date. Through logical sense, most people will not substitute their two-year-old computers just in order to play new video games. Although crazy （这个词好像太过了）players might do so, most general people won't.

Besides all the flaws represented above, the arguer assumes that the sales will increase through only two factors, one is graphics, and the other is ads, while he ignores other factors might be credible for the improvement of sales. For example, the price strategy, the sales channel of the products, and the after-sale-service may also be important considerations. Without ruling out these possible influential reasons, the arguer cannot make sound his conclusion.

In sum, without considering other possibilities affecting the quality of the game and the sale of products or providing specific information with respect to the survey, the conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind will surly gain dramatic growth is dubious at best.

整体来说还不错，层次也有。
就是语言表达上可以再准确点，尤其是主题句
开头和结尾应该丰富一下

有一个问题想请教一下，如何在三十分钟内写那么多字……