Issue141 【LOVEAW小组】第三次作业 by iq28

iq28UID: 2152875

TOPIC: ISSUE141 - "Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."
WORDS: 625          TIME: 0:44:44          DATE: 2007-2-12

语言极其丑陋不堪入目....
逻辑似乎还凑合...


Economic success calls for conformity rather than individuality, that is the recommendation of the author. There is no denying that conformity plays a vital role in pursuing economic success, especially when it comes to those mature industries. However, the overlook of the significance of individuality, which is also inevitable for economic achievements, has rendered the recommendation one-sided, at least to some extent. To better present my point of view let me analyze in details.

A brand-new industry is just like the continent of America before the 16th century, full of traps and treasures, and waiting for Columbus to explore itself. At that time Columbus had no enemies to compete with, also had no friends to cooperate with, for the simple reason that he himself was the only founder of the America, no others had kept the pace with him. Just like Columbus and his America, individuality and the realm of a certain newborn industry which was first explored by the certain individuality have the same conditions. It is someone or some company that find the new potential industry undoubtedly demonstrates that the founder is far in lead of his colleagues, either rivals or cooperators possible. Maybe it may be better to have a partner or even more to deal with the countless problems that are inevitable during the process of develop a new industry, however, there is no one for you to cooperate with only because they do not have the ability to. That is to say, founders of a certain industry have to walk alone along their routine to their ultimate goal --- the economic success.

Moreover, despite of the troubles that are difficult to overcome, the rewards for the new founders are enormous. After overcoming the hard and lonely period of time, the experience of how to handle those fatal difficulties becomes the precious treasure of the founder which has significant meaning in greater success in future. What is more, in the development of the new industry, all the regulars are established by the founder itself. To control the regulars of an industry is half control of a certain industry, which can provide the founder with lasting profits.

Admittedly, the assertion does make sense when a industry has become mature. The great changes of Microsoft may show us an apt illustration. The unprecedented empire of Microsoft has been found only by the power of Mr. Gates. But recently as the software industry develops fast, the monopoly of Microsoft seems to weaken, and Mr. Gates begins to hunt for some cooperation. Symantec Anti-virus has recently gained the source code of the Windows, which can hardly imagine in the past, in order to develop a better anti-virus product. When the industry is no longer naive, the other companies had already found the entrance of the industry. Although the rule of the game is chiefly determined by the old founder, those new comers each have their special skill for their survival in the crucial game. Compared with the old king of the game, they may still be weak, but can no longer be neglected. Also, the demands of the market increase as the industry progresses. No single company, even as strong as Microsoft, may fail to meet the enormous demands. Therefore, it may be a better, sometimes the only method to cooperate with other companies for thriving or even surviving.

In summary, the recommendation of the author weighs too much on the significance of conformity in pursuing economic success. From the analysis forgoing we can see that individuality is as important as conformity. What should we be apt to depends on what the present conditions are, that is to be individual when the industry is new born while turn to be conformable when the industry is mature.


[ 本帖最后由 iq28 于 2007-2-12 20:17 编辑 ]

aic00UID: 2277302

Economic success calls for conformity rather than individuality, that is the recommendation of the author. There is no denying that conformity plays a vital role in pursuing economic success, especially when it comes to those mature industries. However, the overlook of the significance of individuality, which is also inevitable for economic achievements, has rendered the recommendation one-sided, at least to some extent. To better present my point of view let me analyze in details.

A brand-new industry is just like the continent of America before the 16th century, full of traps and treasures, and waiting for Columbus to explore itself. At that time Columbus had no enemies to compete with, also had no friends to cooperate with, for the simple reason that he himself was the only founder of the America, no others had kept the pace with him. Just like Columbus and his America, individuality and the realm of a certain newborn industry which was first explored by the certain individuality have the same conditions. It is someone or some company that find the new potential industry undoubtedly demonstrates that the founder is far in lead of his colleagues, either rivals or cooperators possible.（?没看懂，貌似要把开头的it is去掉） Maybe it may be（俩may be?可以考虑换个词） better to have a partner or even more to deal with the countless problems that are inevitable during the process of develop a new industry, however, there is no one for you to cooperate with only because they do not have the ability to. That is to say, founders of a certain industry have to walk alone along their routine to their ultimate goal --- the economic success.本段以哥伦布及其发现新大陆与individuality比较，很新颖，有北美的风格，8错地说。

Moreover, despite of the troubles that are difficult to overcome, the rewards for the new founders are enormous. After overcoming the hard and lonely period of time, the experience of how to handle those fatal difficulties becomes the precious treasure of the founder which has significant meaning in greater success in future. What is more,（改成Besides吧，因为前面有Moreover） in the development of the new industry, all the regulars are established by the founder itself. To control the regulars of an industry is half control of a certain industry, which can provide the founder with lasting profits.思路很清晰

Admittedly, the assertion does make sense when a industry has become mature. The great changes of Microsoft may show us an apt illustration. The unprecedented empire of Microsoft has been found only by the power of Mr. Gates. But recently as the software industry develops fast, the monopoly of Microsoft seems to weaken, and Mr. Gates begins to hunt for some cooperation. Symantec Anti-virus has recently gained the source code of the Windows, which can hardly imagine in the past, in order to develop a better anti-virus product. When the industry is no longer naive, the other companies had already found the entrance of the industry. Although the rule of the game is chiefly determined by the old founder, those new comers each have their special skill for their survival in the crucial game. Compared with the old king of the game, they may still be weak, but can no longer be neglected. Also, the demands of the market increase as the industry progresses. No single company, even as strong as Microsoft, may fail to meet the enormous demands. Therefore, it may be a better, sometimes the only method to cooperate with other companies for thriving or even surviving.与上面的思路衔接很紧，看得出来是一气呵成的。不过本段似乎讲的是cooperation与conformity的关系，我认为有问题，最后说。

In summary, the recommendation of the author weighs too much on the significance of conformity in pursuing economic success. From the analysis forgoing we can see that individuality is as important as conformity. What should we be apt to depends on what the present conditions are, that is to be individual when the industry is new born while turn to be conformable when the industry is mature.
小结：副版太谦虚了，语言方面我认为没什么问题。很流畅，而且个人认为不一定范文那种很拗口的语言才会拿高分。思路也比较清晰。但有个问题我觉得可以交流一下，就是conformity的意思。我特意查了好几种字典，而且给美国的同学发了邮件，似乎比较肯定这个词没有合作的意思。比较确切的意思翻译为一致性甚至沿袭比较合适，与之相对的词可以为creation或innovation这些，你理解为其反义为individuality也未尝不可。我不知道有一个提纲上面怎么会翻译成合作，所以建议你也查一下确认一下，搞清楚一点没什么坏处。
ps:你语言的流畅性值得我学习，感觉自己写的很艰涩。

[ 本帖最后由 aic00 于 2007-2-13 18:09 编辑 ]

iq28UID: 2152875

conformity的问题我也很困惑的说...
个人觉得主要应该是遵从的意思
但是我所有的书上面都写了这题是 个人vs团体

类似的问题 也就是issue中间对于很多词的理解确实经常让人很迷茫...
今天晚上忙完了发个帖子汇总问一下~~

谢谢啦^_^

逐梦天涯UID: 2287682

Economic success calls for conformity rather than individuality, that is the recommendation of the author. There is no denying that conformity plays a vital role in pursuing economic success, especially when it comes toGOOD those mature industries. However, the overlook of the significance of individuality, which is also inevitable for economic achievements是在追求中不可避免的不是在成就中不可避免, has rendered好词the recommendation one-sided, at least to some extent. To better present my point of view let me analyze in details.
A brand-new industry is just like the continent of America before the 16th century, full of traps and treasures, and waiting for Columbus to explore itself这个好像有歧义. At that time逗号Columbus had no enemies to compete with, also had no friends to cooperate with, for the simple reason that断一下,太分散了Because he himself was the only founder of the America, no others had kept the pace with himwith no others kept the pace with. Just like Columbus and his America, individuality and the realm我只会用area 和field 惭愧 of a certain newborn/brand-new有变化,GOOD不像我一个new用到死,崇拜ing industry which was first explored by the certain individuality have the same conditions. Individuality 发现/开拓industry这个论点好奇怪,看看后面怎么说It is someone or some company that find the new potential industry undoubtedly demonstrates that the founder is far in lead of his colleagues, either rivals or cooperators possible.不太明白Maybe it may be better这个重复了吧^_^ #to have a partner or even more to deal with the countless problems that are inevitable during the process of develop a new industry, however, there is no one for you to cooperate with only because they do not have the ability to. That is to say, founders of a certain industry have to walk alone along their routine to their ultimate goal --- the economic success.这段我不太明白,仿佛用哥伦布发现每周大陆的例子引出founders of a certain industry的孤独性,好像跟论点关联不大.

Moreover, despite of the troubles that are difficult to overcome, the rewards for the new founders are enormous. After overcoming the hard and lonely period of time, the experience of how to handle those fatal difficulties becomes the precious treasure of the founder which has significant meaning in greater success in future. What is more, in the development of the new industry, all the regulars are established by the founder itself. To control the regulars of an industry is half control of a certain industry, which can provide the founder with lasting profits.
看到这里我终于明白前面整整一段都是说的困难…这一段你阐述了两点,一是独立克服困难而得到的宝贵经验,二是自己创立的规则…而前面巨大的篇幅就是为了引出第一点.这两点是并列的关系么?还是递进?
好像应该从证明individuality是促成success的重要因素的角度证明,也就是individuality是因,success是果,而你的用较大的篇幅在说明追求经济成功中不可避免的孤独和由此得到的收益,似乎有些本末倒置.
Admittedly, the assertion does make sense when a industry has become mature. The great changes of Microsoft may show us an apt illustration. The unprecedented好词打我3棒子也打不出来! empire of Microsoft has been found only by the power of Mr. Gates. But recently as the software industry develops fast, the monopoly of Microsoft seems to weaken, and Mr. Gates begins to hunt for太棒了some cooperation. Symantec Anti-virus 你用的这个啊..用了机子好卡哇…我用的江民还不错要不传你一个….^_^(跑题勒嘻嘻)has recently gained the source code of the Windows, which can hardly imagine in the past, in order to develop a better anti-virus product. When the industry is no longer naive, the other companies had already found the entrance of the industry. Although the rule of the game is chiefly好!我只会用mainly determined by the old founder, those new comers each have their special skill for their survival in the crucial game. Compared with the old king of the game, they may still be weak, but can no longer be neglected. Also, the demands of the market increase as the industry progresses. No single company, even as strong as Microsoft, may fail to meet the enormous demands. Therefore, it may be a better, sometimes the only method to cooperate with other companies for thriving or even surviving.
In summary, the recommendation of the author weighs too much on the significance of conformity in pursuing economic success. From the analysis forgoing we can see that individuality is as important as conformity. What should we be apt to depends on what the present conditions are, that is to be individual when the industry is new born while turn to be conformable when the industry is mature.


你对individuality的理解好像和我的有些出入,我的理解是独特的个性
总的来说在规定时间内洋洋洒洒600多字是我短时间无法企及的,纵使语言有些不成熟,论述似乎也有些牵强,我还是不得不承认副组不错的语言表达能力和丰富的词汇变幻.

逐梦天涯UID: 2287682

没颜色???....晕:funk:

wentbyerUID: 2324503

好强呀