Argument2【0706G－CRUSADE小组】第2次作业 by xixiaiko 附地产评估相关资料

xixiaikoUID：2302263

The following appeared in a letter sent by a committee of homeowners from the Deerhaven Acres to all homeowners in Deerhaven Acres.

"Seven years ago, homeowners in nearby Brookville community adopted a set of restrictions on how the community's yards should be landscaped and what colors the exteriors of homes should be painted. Since then, average property values have tripled in Brookville. In order to raise property values in Deerhaven Acres, we should adopt our own set of restrictions on landscaping and house painting."

Outline:

1.     attitude
2.     The importance of different factors influencing a property values of a certain place may be different.
3.     There’s no evident connection between a restrictions taken seven years ago and the tripled property values.(time, other fact)
4.     Tripled property values is an important but not ultimate evaluation data to present the true value for a place.(the inflation, for etc.)
5.     conclusion

This letter is well-presented, but not adequately persuasive. The committee drew the conclusion of how to raise property values in their own town – Deerhaven Acres through the example of another town – Brookville, whose past experience might not be a suitable reference to Deerhaven. In addition, the causality between the landscape restriction and the tripled property value, as well as the tripled property and a well-round evaluation standard for the property is ambiguous.

Like human beings, every place has its own character and properties. It is quite possible that Deerhaven is a business district while Brookville is a residential area. Just like the relationship between New York city and New Jersey. If the major use of the land, or to say, the residential definitions of the towns are irrelevant, it’s hard to put them together and make a comparison.

Assume that they are both acknowledged as leisure places, it’s quite reasonable that the influence of the appearance may differ from one to another. According to HKSARG Departments & Trade Association, the property values of an area may be influenced by factors such as: the municipal planning, environmental conditions, quality grade, property management, community functions, etc. Simple view of a property is difficult to judge their value. What’s more, the looking of a building is made up of both its shape and its color. To instance, the famous architect Frank O Ghery uses complicated shapes with single material to form buildings and still presents an appreciate view for the street. In this aspect, the landscape and exterior color are only part of the elements that contribute to the property values, and may influence slimly to certain area.

Even assuming that these two towns share the same residential definition while the landscape and exterior color are both of the same importance to them, it’s still hard to be confident of the effects of adopting these restrictions in Deerhaven Acres. First, the scratch line of the two towns may be different. It is possible that the property value of Brookville may be at the lowest point for some unpredictable reason just as what happened to Hong Kong during the SARS. The committee of Deerhaven Acres may have ignored these social reasons. In addition, it is quite recognized that high-value properties have better market than lower ones. Maybe the property values of these two towns are at different levels, hence the level of clients may differ, which also lessens the necessity of comparison.

To conclude, although the committee of Deerhaven Acres may seemingly to have presented a sound way to enhance the property values, the effect of adopting this strategy is being doubt because the background information is not abundantly presented. If the committee failed to present enough evidences to explain the above problems logically, the proclaim will hardly be accepted as reliable.

[ 本帖最后由 xixiaiko 于 2007-2-17 18:40 编辑 ]

xixiaikoUID：2302263

附件是我找到的一个关于Buy a suitable property value appreciation 的素材，大家可以下来看我highlight的部分，也可以直接去这个链接http://www.robroad.com/data/2006/0718/article_44279_1.htm

其中比较关键的摘要在下面：

2, attention to the purchase of the market price. Attention to the overall and regional market price fluctuations, as low market.

3, attention to the size of the property value. Simple view of a property is difficult to judge their value added, how to design from the property, municipal planning, environmental conditions, quality grade, infrastructure, property management, community functions, such as the situation in an all-round way to judge its value. Additional high-value properties have better market and thus have a greater appreciation of space.

A, located in urban or urban fringe planning larger, matching the total complete.

B, convenient, popular spot, particularly strong business climate more lots.

C, with lots of second-hand property prices and the price difference between the two.

D, 15-year mortgage, do not higher than the same month for the lot, with the types of housing rent.

E, maximum choice floors, a better unit, and so on.

[ 本帖最后由 xixiaiko 于 2007-2-17 01:18 编辑 ]

dreamcasaerUID：2300942

谢谢，材料好像不错，我正愁字数不够呢

vanluckerUID：2267009

This letter is well-presented, but not adequately persuasive. The committee drew the conclusion of how to raise property values in their own town – Deerhaven Acres through the example of another town – Brookville, whose past experience might not be a suitable reference to Deerhaven. In addition, the causality between the landscape restriction and the tripled property value, as well as the tripled property and a well-round evaluation standard for the property is ambiguous. Like human beings, every place has its own character and properties. It is quite possible that Deerhaven is a business district while Brookville is a residential area. Just like the relationship(difference) between New York city and New Jersey. If the major use(uses) of the land(two lands), or to say, the residential definitions of the towns(two towns) are(mutually) irrelevant, it’s(it is) hard to put them together and(and 改to) make a comparison.
攻击点和例子都举的很棒, 开头比喻也不错,就是比喻的具体character and properties和论述中的definitions不太吻合.Assume that they are both acknowledged as leisure places, it’s quite reasonable that the influence of the appearance may differ from one to another. According to HKSARG Departments & Trade Association, the property values of an area may be influenced by factors such as: the municipal planning, environmental conditions, quality grade, property management, community functions, etc(我觉得这个要在第一论述段提出,因为你第一段说的definition可能也包括在这个例子中etc). (Accordingly,)Simple view of a property is difficult to judge their value. What’s more, the looking of a building is made up of both its shape and its color. To(For) instance, the famous architect Frank O Ghery uses complicated shapes with single material to form buildings and still presents an appreciate view for the street. In this aspect, the landscape and exterior color are only part of the elements that contribute to the property values, and may influence slimly to certain area. Even assuming that these two towns share the same residential definition while the landscape and exterior color are both of the same importance to them(这句真棒), it’s still hard to be confident of the effects of adopting these restrictions in Deerhaven Acres. First, the scratch line(英语有这样比喻吗?还是我们汉语引进老外这样的表达?) of the two towns may be different. It is possible that the property value of Brookville may be at the lowest point for some unpredictable reason just as what happened to Hong Kong during the SARS(最好能具体说到香港的地价,SARS的影响多着呢,想当年我高考*_*…..). The committee of Deerhaven Acres may have ignored these social(上面说的是不可预知的原因,没具体到社会) reasons. In addition(Second上面有First), it is quite recognized that high-value properties have better market than (comparative)lower ones. Maybe the property values of these two towns are at different levels, hence the level of clients may differ(be different), which also lessens the necessity of comparison.To conclude, although the committee of Deerhaven Acres may seemingly to have presented a sound way to enhance the property values, the effect of adopting this strategy is being doubt because the background information is not abundantly presented. If the committee failed to present enough evidences to explain the above problems logically, the proclaim will hardly be accepted as reliable.

论述不错,例子很不错,语言更不错
主要是看你的论点,感觉论点组织有点让人看得有点乱,其他都不错的说
加油吧

xixiaikoUID：2302263

谢谢vanluker！
我自己的总结是：
1.        第一段提到的论点，要在用词上与各段TS一致。
2.        各段TS之下的展开，若越写越有思路的话，一定要和提纲有紧密联系。若一定要加入一个疏远的例子，那么最好在attitude段不上相关的TS。

最後の使徒UID：2257608

个人认为ARGUMENT不适合举具体例子, 因为这样有些多余, 不把具体例子的情况说清楚的话是没有说服力的, 而说清楚了那么具体不具体也无所谓了, 比如
Just like the relationship between New York city and New Jersey. If the major use of the land, or to say, the residential definitions of the towns are irrelevant, it’s hard to put them together and make a comparison.
纽约和新泽西有多大区别? 区别在哪? 为什么没关系就不能比较? 都需要具体说明论证(我印象中新泽西也是人口密度很高的地方吧, 拿texas之类的地方更合适). 即使考官知道这二者的区别, 那然后呢? 这个也不是很有可比性, 这两个方地价是怎么样的? 对景观有相同的规定么?

vanluckerUID：2267009

斑竹来巡视啦,仰视....HOHO~以后请多指教啊~

aliyahUID：2273403

我觉得argu这个东西最难的就是那个"度".把一个点分析到几层才比较好... 苦恼ing

最後の使徒UID：2257608

This letter is well-presented, but not adequately persuasive. The committee drew the conclusion of how to raise property values in their own town – Deerhaven Acres through the example of another town – Brookville,(加入转折词however, 通常从句是在解释修饰主句,这样写的话前后的逻辑关系就不对了) whose past experience might not be a suitable reference to Deerhaven. In addition, the causality between the landscape restriction and the tripled property value, as well as the tripled property and a well-round evaluation standard for the property is ambiguous. (这句跟前面的句子没有逻辑关系. 应该加上"such experience is also not provided to be effective since..") (重述显得有些混乱, 作者的论点罗列不是很清晰, 相互独立却没有作者的中心论点, 中间还夹杂自己的观点)

Like human beings, every place has its own character and properties.(段落首句要直接指出作者错误, 这样的分析可以放后面说, 还是那句话, 判卷子的只花30秒看你的卷子, 一定要让他们第一时间就捕捉到你的主要观点) It is quite possible that Deerhaven is a business district while Brookville is a residential area. Just like the relationship between New York city and New Jersey. If the major use of the land, or to say, the residential definitions of the towns are irrelevant, it’s hard to put them together and make a comparison. (这里在楼上说了,这里缺乏深入论证, 过于表面和判断性)

Assume that they are both acknowledged as leisure places (why leaisure places?无理由让步假设, 说是同类土地就行了), it’s quite reasonable that the influence of the appearance may differ from one to another.(and then? 还是没有直接指出作者的错误) According to HKSARG Departments & Trade Association, the property values of an area may be influenced by factors such as: the municipal planning, environmental conditions, quality grade, property management, community functions,(这个你前一段不是说了么?) etc. Simple view of a property  is difficult to judge their value. (what value?这句很晦涩) What’s more, the looking of a building is made up of both its shape and its color (这个不就是how the houses are painted么?). To instance, the famous architect Frank O Ghery uses complicated shapes with single material to form buildings and still presents an appreciate view for the street.(这个例子跟property value有什么关系? 跟攻击作者的论断又有什么关系?) In this aspect, the landscape and exterior color are only part of the elements that contribute to the property values, and may influence slimly to certain area. (so? 这个能怎么说明作者的论点错误? 别的原因能带来价值就能说明这个原因不能, 所以不能采取么?)

坦率说, 我觉得你对于这道题的论证思路有着比较严重的问题, 可能是把太多注意力花在资料上了而忽略了argument的目的.
argument的目的是什么? 指出作者的逻辑错误, 证明作者的论点是not well reasoned. 这里作者的论点是什么? 再来梳理下题目的逻辑关系:
作者结论:D要用措施提高地产价值
论据:B用了以后价值翻了三倍
错误: 1 B用了不代表就是它的功劳 2 B有用D也不一定有用
标准的错误因果+草率推广, 也就是在论证过程中作者错误的建立了一个因果关系和一个类比关系, 因此大方向应该以此为指导. 最终目的是证明作者那个要D用跟B一样的限制是不合理的. 应该说作者想的因素不一定就影响了地价, 而不应该说 作者哪里想的不周全, 还有很多因素会影响地价, 这个只能作为它因, 而之前应该先提出作者提出的原因不可靠.


Even assuming that these two towns share the same residential definition while the landscape and exterior color are both of the same importance to them, it’s still hard to be confident of the effects of adopting these restrictions in Deerhaven Acres. First, the scratch line of the two towns may be different. It is possible that the property value of Brookville may be at the lowest point for some unpredictable reason just as what happened to Hong Kong during the SARS (过于具体的类比会让你的立场也是not well grounded, 因为你也没有论据说这里就有可能这样). The committee of Deerhaven Acres may have ignored these social reasons(which makes them properly can see no effect after adopting the mere element of houses' color). In addition, it is quite recognized that high-value properties have better market than lower ones. Maybe the property values of these two towns are at different levels, hence the level of clients may differ, which also lessens the necessity of comparison.

To conclude, although the committee of Deerhaven Acres may seemingly to have presented a sound way to enhance the property values, the effect of adopting this strategy is being doubt because the background information is not abundantly presented. If the committee failed to present enough evidences to explain the above problems logically, the proclaim will hardly be accepted as reliable.

总评: 我觉得你的文章很难说是well-oganized. 论证各段的内容区分不明显, 目的也不明确, 到底针对题目中的什么错误看不出来. 感觉就是车轱辘话来回说, 一直在说影响地产有其它原因, 却没说作者为什么就不对.
建议再参考下同主题.
它因法只是argument中在指出作者列出的原因不可行时提出的替代可能性, 是为了让你的反观点有所依托, 是例证的一部分, 不是文章的全部, 作用有限, 不要过于执着列举它因. 阿狗攻逻辑错误为上, 体现你的知识面主要是在issue里, 这里够用就行了.

xixiaikoUID：2302263

感谢lastangel！
拨开云雾了！