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[i习作temp] Issue120 [0710G-summer]小组第三次作业_by 冰河 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-7-20 19:04:36 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
WORDS: 412          TIME: 0:55:00          DATE: 2007-7-20
0总起
1承认So much is new and complex today
2历史可以给予我们智慧(孔子为例)和勇气(海轮凯勒)
3历史能帮助我们避免重复过去的错误
4总结



I agree with the speaker that so much is new and complex today, however in my view past still provides much guidance for living in the present.

Admittedly, with rapid development of the science and technology, our society differs from past significantly. We are enjoying the convenience taken from high-tech: we can communicate with others in different countries in internet; we can reach every place in the world within one day. The earth became more like a village. All of such civilizations are fantastic in past time. Meanwhile, modern revolution of science and technology has a severe impact of our values, ideas and mores. In ancients time the take autarchy for granted, whereas in modem time democracy is accepted by most individuals and any kind of despotism stemming from suppression of individual freedoms invariable falls of their oppressive power.

However, it is still worthwhile to look back for an understanding of the past. One crucial reason for my value the past is that learning about wisdom and tenacity if history's great philosophers, writers and other achievers inspires us to similar  achievement, or at least make us more wise and courageous. One needs to look no further than the profound influence of Confucius, a famous Chinese philosophy 2 000 years ago. Even today, his theory of Ethics such as respecting to the teachers, tolerating with others, humility and carefulness still play an important role in leading the behavior of people in many east countries. Another example is Helen Keller, an American female writer. Her tenacity of facing blindness and deafness make many disabled individuals become optimistic and courageous with their inborn deficiency and finally travel to their success.

Another essential reason for I value the past is that learning about the mistakes of past can help we avoid repeating them. It is especially true when we come to the environmental respect. At the beginning of Industrial revolution, we care more about the improvement of produce but overlook the costs of the environment. Since the end of last century, many countries began to realize that the negative effect of industries such as warm house effect, the rise the ocean lever and acid rains would bring about disasters to many kinds of creatures as well as human being. At present, most countries began to restrict even close down factories which cost a large quantity of resources or energies and pollute the environment.

To sum up, I concede insofar as the difference between today and past is significant, yet, it is not to say that history provides little guidance for the present, on the contrary, it bring about a mirror which we can learn wisdom and courage and avoid repeating mistakes of past.



总是严重超时,字数也少得可怜,不知各位大侠可有办法医治小弟的创伤

[ 本帖最后由 冰河 于 2007-7-20 19:52 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-7-21 10:33:03 |只看该作者

改评作文

I agree with the speaker that so much is new and complex today, however in my view past still provides much guidance for living in the present.(一边倒的观点:完全赞同?这样好像不容易得高分)

      Admittedly, with rapid development of the science and technology, our society differs from past significantly. We are enjoying the convenience (which)taken from high-tech: we can communicate with others in different countries in internet; we can reach every place in the world within one day.(我觉得这地方讲的有点跑题,说现在的生活好像说的多了) The earth became more like a village. All of such civilizations are fantastic in past time. Meanwhile, modern revolution of science and technology has a severe impact of our values, ideas and mores. In ancients time the take autarchy for granted, whereas in modem time democracy is accepted by most individuals and any kind of despotism stemming from suppression of individual freedoms invariable falls of their oppressive power.

     However, it is still worthwhile to look back for an understanding of the past. (第一段不是完全赞同么?)乱One crucial reason for my value the past is that learning about wisdom and tenacity if history's great philosophers, writers and other achievers inspires us to similar  achievement, or at least make us more wise and courageous. One needs to look no further than the profound influence of Confucius, a famous Chinese philosophy 2 000 years ago. Even today, his theory of Ethics such as respecting to the teachers, tolerating with others, humility and carefulness still play an important role in leading the behavior of people in many east countries. Another example is Helen Keller, an American female writer. Her tenacity of facing blindness and deafness make many disabled individuals become optimistic and courageous with their inborn deficiency and finally travel to their success.(这段例子还可以,写的不错)

Another essential reason for I value the past is that learning about the mistakes of past can help we avoid repeating them. It is especially true when we come to the environmental respect. At the beginning of Industrial revolution, we care more about the improvement of produce but overlook the costs of the environment. Since the end of last century, many countries began to realize that the negative effect of industries such as warm house effect, the rise the ocean lever and acid rains would bring about disasters to many kinds of creatures as well as human being. At present, most countries began to restrict even close down factories which cost a large quantity of resources or energies and pollute the environment. (再加上点名言比较好)

    To sum up, I concede insofar as the difference between today and past is significant, yet, it is not to say that history provides little guidance for the present, on the contrary, it bring about a mirror which we can learn wisdom and courage and avoid repeating mistakes of past.
文章的结构有点混乱,作者观点不清晰,缺乏好的句子

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RE: Issue120 [0710G-summer]小组第三次作业_by 冰河 [修改]

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