Argument147 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组作文大帖】第一次作业~来PIA！！！

kiki1988UID：2329056

:o 很烂的作文~~~第一次作业，请大家不要吝啬自己的砖头~！！！

=====================Argument 147=====================
【题目】
The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.
"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
【翻译】
尽管Whirlwind游戏公司的游戏销量在过去两年中下降了，最近一次对于电子游戏玩家的调查显示这种销售趋势可能会逆转。该调查询问游戏玩家对于一个游戏来说他们所认为的最重要特征是什么。根据调查结果，玩家倾向于那些需要最先进的电脑的，具有活灵活现图象的游戏。Whirlwind刚刚面向10－25岁的人群开展了大力的广告活动来推广若干此类游戏，10－25岁是最喜欢玩游戏的年龄层。这说明Whirlwind公司的游戏销量将会在未来几个月中猛增。
【正文】(496 words)
The Argument is well-presented, but not thorouguly well-reasoned. By citing the result of a recent survey, the arguer assumes that, for video-game players, providing lifelike grafics which require the most up-to-date computers is the most important feature of a game,and it is where Whirlwind aim at to promote in their new games. So thw arguer take it for granted that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.

Firstly, the author provides no assurances that this survey on which this argument depends is reliable. Had this survey been accepted by the authorities? Who start it and with whom they deal with those statistics? And what’s more, had it cover all major players who have the qulification to assess whether the game provided is bad or not? These are all not mentioned in this argument, so no reliable conclusion can be made for lacking enough evidence.

Secondly, this argument relies on the assumption that video games providing lifelike grafics are nice and propular ones. However, the author provides no evidence to support that this is the case, nor does the author establish a causal relationship between lifelike grafics and popular games. Furthurmore, as the survey mentioned, lifelike grafics need up-to-date computers, it is obviously unknown whether those players have advanced hardware. If not, perhaps some players wouldn’t update their computer just for some games.

Thirdly, it is logically unsounded that the problem which lead to the two-year decline in Whirlwind’s sales just can be solved by introducing new games and extensive advertising campaign. Yet it is entirely possible that the delicine due to other factors such as poor cooperation, lack of financial fund, or low level of animation technology, and these problems may lead to more serious sales decline if not be solved. In addition, I can not be convinced that new games and advertising compaign will make a progress on Whirlwind’s sales. Perhaps other company had introduced their new games previously. Or perhaps Whirlwind’s competitors had advertise for their new introduces more extensively. That is why I simply cannot agree with such thoughts.

Finally, even if the author can substantiate the foregoing assumptions, I remain unconvinced that the sales of Whirlwind will increase in recent few months. The advertising object is a group composing by age-group 10 to 25 years old. Then whether students are willing to afford these high games expense from their pocket money payout is unknown. Even if they can afford these games, perhaps they will not buy them just when these new games come out to the market immediately. Maybe Whirlwind will wait for several months to see their consequence after hardworking.

In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stand. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding what caused the decline of Whirlwind’s sales, how did that survey come out, what introduction did his competitor produced and when did Whirlwind sale his new games at this midseason, if any.

[ 本帖最后由 kiki1988 于 2007-7-30 22:20 编辑 ]

kiki1988UID：2329056

自己顶~~~~大家来P 丫！！！:mad

mablaUID：2312557

The Argument is well-presented, but not thorouguly well-reasoned. By citing the result of a recent survey, the arguer assumes that, for video-game players, providing lifelike grafics which require the most up-to-date computers is the most important feature of a game,and it is where Whirlwind aim at to promote in their new games. So thw arguer take it for granted that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months.

Firstly, the author provides no assurances that this survey on which this argument depends is reliable. Had this survey been accepted by the authorities? Who start it and with whom they deal with those statistics? And what’s more, had it cover all major players who have the qulification to assess whether the game provided is bad or not? These are all not mentioned in this argument, so no reliable conclusion can be made for lacking enough evidence.

Secondly, this argument relies on the assumption that video games providing lifelike grafics are nice and propular ones. However, the author provides no evidence to support that this is the case, nor does the author establish a causal relationship between lifelike grafics and popular games.(lz找的问题很到位，但是，是否分析的还不够透彻？ graphics是一个重要trait，但是光光这一点不能保证game会受欢迎，决定popularity的还有其他因素，比如，theme、music、是否能让很多人参与（网游一般更火，因为社区性很重要）等等) Furthurmore, as the survey mentioned, lifelike grafics need up-to-date computers, it is obviously unknown whether those players have advanced hardware. If not, perhaps some players wouldn’t update their computer just for some games.

Thirdly, it is logically unsounded that the problem which lead to the two-year decline in Whirlwind’s sales just can be solved by introducing new games and extensive advertising campaign.（对，这是个很核心的问题） Yet it is entirely possible that the delicine due to other factors such as poor cooperation, lack of financial fund, or low level of animation technology, and these problems may lead to more serious sales decline if not be solved. In addition, I can not be convinced that new games and advertising compaign will make a progress on Whirlwind’s sales. Perhaps other company had introduced their new games previously. Or perhaps Whirlwind’s competitors had advertise for their new introduces more extensively. That is why I simply cannot agree with such thoughts.

Finally, even if the author can substantiate the foregoing assumptions, I remain unconvinced that the sales of Whirlwind will increase in recent few months. The advertising object is a group composing by age-group 10 to 25 years old. Then whether students are willing to afford these high games expense from their pocket money payout is unknown. Even if they can afford these games, perhaps they will not buy them just when these new games come out to the market immediately. Maybe Whirlwind will wait for several months to see their consequence after hardworking.

可以再讲讲maketing对sales的影响：即使东西好，价格高卖不动，推销不够，无人问津；市场竞争激烈，W的份额不一定占很大increase仍然落空；整个market size减小、其他种类的替代游戏出现，都会影响它的sales


In sum, the argument is unconvincing as it stand. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information regarding what caused the decline of Whirlwind’s sales, how did that survey come out, what introduction did his（还是用its比较好吧） competitor produced and when did Whirlwind sale his new games at this midseason, if any.

大家都是刚开始写，是不是都应该看看怎样找更多的题目中的错误并归类、很好德组织出来：）