Issue48 【0710G-HIT坚持交作业小组作文大帖】第三次作业~新手求猛拍！！！

kiki1988UID：2329056

=====================Issue48=====================
【题目】48. "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."【翻译】历史研究过于关注个人。历史上最有意义的事件和潮流能够成为可能不是因为几个少数的名人而是一些身份早就被淡忘的人群。
【题纲】
1．同意作者观点。人民的作用更重要
2．个人的作用也是不可忽略的。Bill Gates…
3．大众对历史具有更重要作用，却往往被忽略林肯…
4．但是，相比较而言。大众的作用更重要，没有群众基础，再伟大的人也不能有什么作为
5．总结
【正文】(417)
As the author of the statement claimed, people often take it for granted that significant events and trends in history were possibly made by the famous individuals rather than those groups of people who were equally important but forgotten, The study of history, as this issue mentioned, often pay too much attention to the former instead of the latter. As my point o view, I quite agree with the author that groups of people play an even more vital role in the history.  

To begin with, we can never ignore the great efforts by few people who played a pivotal role in some famous things. Take the famous Bill Gates for a striking example, he is now the living legend who has invented operating system on personal computers. It is such a great software work that has influenced nearly everyone who is using personal computer. It is almost the day after Windows Operating System has been completed that is it accepted by all the people who have seen it. As we can see, if it was not a key historical figure as him, we common people could hardly even imagine  the “global village” we live today.

However, it is ordinary people, who were equally influential but always forgotten, make much great efforts in historical events and trends. If there were not so many kind ranks and files, as I asserted, the whole human history will be rewrited completely. One of the famous American presents, Abrahan Lincoln, is often memorialized an the central figure in the Civil War and the emancipation of American slaves. However, while we honor he as the central figure of that large movement, we fail to commemorate those thousands of other common individuals and slaves themselves.They were the major part of that great Civil War. Unfairly, when talking about Civil War, no one can say a few words about groups of poor people fighting till death.
      
Gerenally speaking, it’s the mass who play a more vital role in historical events and trends. As the saying goes, ”Union is strength.” The concourse is the foundration of a union, who will have huge strength enough to change the history. Without mention this, no matter how talented the leader is，one is impossible to make any achievement.

To sum up, the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. Whereas, it can never be ignored that the large crowd of people behind the “few people” are the truly strength cause the promotion of the world.


[ 本帖最后由 kiki1988 于 2007-8-1 20:47 编辑 ]

ambitionxxUID：2314730

As the author of the statement claimed, people often take it for granted that significant events and trends in history were possibly made by the famous individuals rather than those groups of people who were equally important but forgotten, The study of history, as this issue mentioned, often pay too much attention to the former instead of the latter. As my point o view, I quite agree with the author that groups of people play an even more vital role in the history. (提出自己的观点，非常明确)

To begin with, we can never ignore the great efforts by few people（few people 不如用individuals） who played a pivotal role in some famous things.（some famous things不好，太口语了且含糊） Take the famous Bill Gates（the  famous 可删除） for a striking example, he is now the living legend who has invented operating system on personal computers. It is such a great software work that has influenced nearly everyone who is using personal computer. It is almost the day after Windows Operating System has been completed that is it accepted by all the people who have seen it. （这段话不好，太碎了，虽简单但看起来费劲，且最后一句话有语法有问题，我大胆这样改了一下， For example, the Bill Gates,  a well-known computer scientist of American, have invent the Windows Operating System on personal computer that influences the people’s daily life. Without him, we may still use the written letter to communicate instead of  the email.）As we can see, if it was not a key historical figure as him, we common people could hardly even imagine  the “global village” we live today.(我的意见是，举例是为了说明你的论点，简单但必须要用说服力，你可以从为什么个人会如此伟大，是由于特殊的才能等，从而使文章更丰满。)

However, it is ordinary people, who were（are） equally influential but always forgotten, make much great efforts in historical events and trends. If there were not so many kind ranks and files, as I asserted, the whole human history will be rewrited(rewritten) completely. One of the famous American presents(president), Abrahan Lincoln, is often memorialized an the central figure in the Civil War and the emancipation of American slaves. However, while we honor he(him) as the central figure of that large movement, we fail to commemorate those thousands of other common individuals and slaves themselves.( themselves删除)They were the major part of that great Civil War. Unfairly, when talking about Civil War, no one can say a few words about groups of poor people fighting till death.
      
Gerenally（Generally）  speaking, it’s( it is书面语，其他同) the mass who play a more vital role in historical events and trends（可否变化其他句式，用了两次了）. As the saying goes, ”Union is strength.” The concourse is the foundration（foundation） of a union, who will have huge strength enough to change the history. Without mention this, no matter how talented the leader is，one is impossible to make any achievement.（可继续充实）

To sum up, the study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. Whereas, it can never be ignored that the large crowd of people behind the “few people” are the truly strength cause the promotion of the world.
总结：观点比较清晰，但论证不是很充分，比如结构，另外语言有小错误，需要锤炼。
       以上为个人愚见，如有错误，多包涵，大家一起战斗。

[ 本帖最后由 ambitionxx 于 2007-8-2 16:26 编辑 ]

doris_gxcUID：2370933

好认真！