CRACK 9T 第10次作业 yeren7722

yeren7722UID：2297829

9:03-9:43
With the development of the techniques, various kinds of games, such as computer games, comes out rapidly. Then, can these games acquaint people with their lifes? As far sa I am concerned, I can not agree with the statement more in that games are the miniture of people lifes,and playing games can  increase their knowledge and improve people's skills in life.

In the first place, life is the prototype of most games, in which people will become more familar with their lives. For instance, the computer game Simulating Life is a typical illustration. The game is tell you how to become a sucessfull person such as a businessman, or  a moive star and so forth.. Therefore, playing in the game can tell people the outlines of how to become a role people want to be.And it is in the game that people attain the knowledge they want.

Forthermore, a multitude of history and cultral knowledge can be learned by people when playing a game. A case in point is when you play the computer game the Log of the Three Kingdoms. People can acquire a vast amount of imformation about the famous period of the Three Kingdoms in Chinese history. If people play a role in this game, they will have a more profound comprehension about the history, for instance, they must be suprised deeply by the Zhu Geliang's magic strategies,which led to numerous triumphs against the enemies.

Last but not least, people can improve their interpersonal skills and teamwork spirit,which are  indispensable in life. That is ,when playing the games, which always require the cooperation of the team, people should communicate with each other to exchange information, so that the goal of the team can be well acheived. As we know, participating in a football game requires excellent cooperative spirit. To conqer the rival, it is neccary for people in the court to work together, and hence they  unconsciousely enhance their sense of collaboration.

From what have been mentioned above, I am completely convinced that playing games appopriately can teach us about life. As a saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And we may spare some time in playing games to take recreation and obtain more knowledge.

又超时了......哎..总觉得时间有点不够...感觉这篇写得很烂,大家多提意见.

口语还是不行哦...第二个有点模仿29分的那位牛人,感觉内容有点少...欢迎狠拍

[ 本帖最后由 yeren7722 于 2007-8-3 11:19 编辑 ]

小马家家UID：2247022

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9:03-9:43
With the development of the techniques, various kinds of games, such as computer games, comes out rapidly. Then, can these games acquaint people with their lifes? As far sa (as)I am concerned, I can not agree with the statement more in that games are the miniture (?miniature)of people lifes(lives),and playing games can  increase their knowledge and improve people's skills in life.(建议people和前面的their调换一下)
很不错的开头, 背景句子+疑问句+引出自己的观点

In the first place, life is the prototype of most games, in which people will become more familar with their lives. For instance, the computer game Simulating Life is a typical illustration. The game is tell(tells) you how to become a sucessfull person such as a businessman, or  a moive star and so forth.. Therefore, playing in the game can tell people the outlines of how to become a role people want to be.And it is in the game that people attain the knowledge they want.

computer game Simulating Life 是大富翁么？
例子 结构和句子衔接都不错

Forthermore, a multitude of history and cultral knowledge can be learned by people when playing a game. A case in point is when you play the computer game the Log of the Three Kingdoms. People can acquire a vast amount of imformation about the famous period of the Three Kingdoms in Chinese history. If people play a role in this game, they will have a more profound comprehension about the history, for instance, they must be suprised deeply by the Zhu Geliang's magic strategies,which led to numerous triumphs against the enemies.

Last but not least, people can improve their interpersonal skills and teamwork spirit,which are  indispensable in life. That is ,when playing the games, which always require the cooperation of the team, people should communicate with each other to exchange information, so that the goal of the team can be well acheived. As we know, participating in a football game requires excellent cooperative spirit. To conqer the rival, it is neccary （necessary）for people in the court to work together, and hence they  unconsciousely enhance their sense of collaboration.

From what have been mentioned above, I am completely convinced that playing games appopriately can teach us about life. As a saying goes, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And we may spare some time in playing games to take recreation and obtain more knowledge.

很不错的作文　文章分三个小的分论点支持自己的观点　比如１练习２了解历史３skills
例子都很到位　句子和句子间的衔接都不错

又超时了......哎..总觉得时间有点不够...感觉这篇写得很烂,大家多提意见.

口语还是不行哦...第二个有点模仿29分的那位牛人,感觉内容有点少...欢迎狠拍