lestou小组11月23日习作

komy_leeUID: 2364433

issue160
"The most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives. Any leader who is quickly and easily influenced by shifts in popular opinion will accomplish little."

思路：1、一个领导人物的成功与否取决于他是否做出了一些对人类有益的决定，因此，坚持原则是必不可少的。
2、对原则能够使领导被下属信任并服从，能更快速高效地做出有益的决策，而不受其他因素的干扰。比如个人的利益以及一些小团体的利益以及来自各方面的诱惑。
3、对目标的坚持能够使很多事情有始有终，防止对资源的浪费。
4、但是，一个领导者的视野也是有局限的，他还必需不断获取新的知识，包括听取普通人的意见以使决策更符合整体集体的利益，听取专家的意见使做出的决策具有可行性。
综上，一个出色的领导者必需是坚持自己原则和目标的人，同时也必须在听取他人的意见中不断使自己的计划更具有可行性，更符合群体的利益。

I strongly agree with the speaker that the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives is a most essential quality of an effective leader. I also think that it is necessary for a leader to listen to the advice from others before he/she makes a policy decision and the respond after a step is taken.

To begin with, a leader whose values are explicit and consistent with those of the group’s culture, and who consistently behaves and plans in accordance with those values, making it not only possible but easy for colleagues to follow suit, exerts a seemingly effortless influence over peers and subordinates. Consistent principles can also help a leader more effectively make a policy decision, without regarding the benefits of him/herself, his/her family or a particular group. Otherwise, leaders can never make the correct choices when they are exposed to the exchange of power for money and other temptations from the material world.

Moreover, the consistently remained objectives can make a policy decision be carried through to the end, which avoids a waste of resources. For example, a leader of a government decides to spend some money on building more schools and buy more teaching instruments to contribute to education. But one or two months later, the leader changes his mind, he thinks it is of greater significance and more urgent to pay for the protection of environment. Hence, all the projects on education are inevitably short-lived owning to lacking of enough money. A great deal of human and material resources which are put into the short-lived projects on education are misspent.

However, effective leaders must recognize that what they know is very little in comparison to what they still need to learn. To be more proficient in pursuing and achieving objectives, they should be open to new ideas, insights, and revelations that can lead to better ways to accomplishing goals. This continuous learning process can be exercised, in particular, through engaging themselves to their peers, advisers, consultants, team members and competitors. Asking advices from experts can know better whether a plan are feasible or not; Taking the advices from common people can make it certain that a plan will be beneficial or at least do no harm to people; Paying more attention to the responds from common people can make them well known about the result of the taken measures.

In summary, self-consistence of principle and objectives is of great significance for a leader to grow into an effective, respected leader; on the other hand, proper consideration of popular opinion will make a leader serve the society and people better.




argument 83:
The author draws a conclusion in the newsletter that leading nutritional experts in Sauria are wrong for their statement that a diet high in complex carbohydrate, and low in fat is optimal for good health and longevity. The argument is based on an assumption that the diet of the ancient Saurians was responsible for these diseases they suffered from. To support to argument, the author also cites the evidence that many those in Sauria who have tried low-fact, high-carbohydrate diets are still suffering from such diseases as high blood pressure, obesity, and heart disease and so like. At first glance, the argument seems persuasive, but further reflection reveals that it is indefensible for some flaws.

The most important flaw which undermines the author fails to consider and rule out other factors contributing to the diseases the ancient Saurians suffered from. Admittedly, ancient Saurians have diet high in complex carbohydrates, and low in fat, meanwhile, they suffered from diseases including dental problems, elevated blood pressure, obesity, heart diseases and early mortality. But there is no evidence that there is a correlation between the two, and the author provides no evidence to show that the former causes the latter. It is highly possible that there are other factors accounting to the diseases, for instance, they had disease of elevated blood pressure because they were always in a nervous mood fearing the attack from wild animals. The early mortality was very likely relating to severe atmospheric conditions. Without such factors taken account, it is unfairly to dram any firm conclusion that it was the diet that brought about the diseases of ancient Saurians.

Another flaw which weakens the argument is that the evidence the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion drawn from it. Based on a specific evidence that ruling classes of ancient Sauria got diseases such as dental problems, elevated blood pressure and so on, any conclusion related to all people in Sauria is illogical. After all, ruling classes are not representative enough for the all. Absence of any information about the diet and living condition of Saurians of all classes, it is hasty to concludes that the diseases mentioned are the result of the diet of them.

Last but not least, the author fails to take other factors related to the diseases mentioned in today’s Aaurias into account. The fact that those who have tried low-fat, high-carbohydrate diets also suffer from diseases such as high blood pressure, obesity, and heart disease does not necessarily indicates that it is the former that leads to the latter. It is equally possible that other factors are accounting to the diseases. For instance, taking too much sugar and taking little physical activity might both cause obesity. Moreover, the definition “those” is not clear. Common sense and experience tell us that the old are more likely to expose themselves to various of diseases because of age, in spite that they constantly have diet which do good to their health.

In summary, to better support the conclusion, the author have to provides some information about the living condition of ancient Saurians. we also need more evidence about the possible causes of the diseases mentioned above. Otherwise, we can not accept the conclusion drawn from the argument that the statement of the leading nutritional experts is wrong.

欢迎拍砖：）

[ 本帖最后由 komy_lee 于 2007-11-24 16:09 编辑 ]

lestouUID: 2260126

I strongly agree with the speaker that the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives is a most essential quality of an effective leader. I also think that it is necessary for a leader to listen to the advice from others before he/she makes a policy decision and the respond after a step is taken.

To begin with, a leader whose values are explicit and consistent with those of the group’s culture, and who consistently behaves and plans in accordance with those values, making it not only possible but easy for colleagues to follow suit, exerts a seemingly effortless influence over peers and subordinates.1 这段话太长了，自己再读下把，我感觉不太通顺比如consistent with those of the group’s 这里THOSE指带的是？2 建议还是采用TST结构，一开始就用短句把自己的这段中心思想表达清楚; 3. 论证可以稍微放后一点，也就是文章的节奏感，句子长短结合，能加深对短句的影象， Consistent principles can also help a leader more effectively make a policy decision, without regarding the benefits of him/herself, his/her family or a particular group. Otherwise, leaders can never make the correct choices when they are exposed to the exchange of power for money and other temptations from the material world.

Moreover, the consistently remained objectives can make a policy decision be carried through to the end, which avoids a waste of resources. For example, a leader of a government decides to spend some money on building more schools and buy more teaching instruments to contribute to education. But one or two months later, the leader changes his mind, he thinks it is of greater significance and more urgent to pay for the protection of environment. Hence, all the projects on education are inevitably short-lived owning to lacking of enough money. A great deal /Great deal of human and material resources which are put into the short-lived projects on education are misspent.
/1这段的结构就还不错，是比较传统的方法了，不过简单明了，值得推广；
2例子上在这里确实很贴切，但给人感觉可信度不高，可能是因为不够具体吧
However, effective leaders must recognize that what they know is very little in comparison to what they still need to learn. To be more proficient in pursuing and achieving objectives, they should be open to new ideas, insights, and revelations that can lead to better ways to accomplishing goals. This continuous learning process can be exercised, in particular, through engaging themselves to their peers, advisers, consultants, team members and competitors. Asking advices from experts can know better whether a plan are feasible or not; Taking the advices from common people can make it certain that a plan will be beneficial or at least do no harm to people; Paying more attention to the responds from common people can make them well known about the result of the taken measures.
最后来个转折，显示出逻辑上的全面性，我也比较喜欢这样，呵呵。毛爷爷的“矛盾论”值得发扬
In summary, self-consistence of principle and objectives is of great significance for a leader to grow into an effective, respected leader; on the other hand, proper consideration of popular opinion will make a leader serve the society and people better.最后一个很平常的结尾，终结上文。我始终认为如果没什么新意还不如。。。其实我也很迷茫如何结尾，。。

lestouUID: 2260126

The author draws a conclusion in the newsletter that leading nutritional experts in Sauria are wrong for their statement that a diet high in complex carbohydrate and low in fat is optimal for good health and longevity. The argument is based on an assumption that the diet of the ancient Saurians was responsible for these diseases they suffered from. To support to argument, the author also cites the evidence that many those in Sauria who have tried low-fact, high-carbohydrate diets are still suffering from such diseases as high blood pressure, obesity, and heart disease and so like. At first glance, the argument seems persuasive, but further reflection reveals that it is indefensible for some flaws.[开头要写这么长吗？我看过IMONG写的一篇文章，里面展示了不同的意见，就是说改卷人不一定喜欢这样的冗余开头方式，不过北美范文里确实大部分这样写的]

The most important flaw which undermines the author fails to consider and rule out other factors contributing to the diseases the ancient Saurians suffered from. Admittedly, ancient Saurians have diet high in complex carbohydrates, and low in fat, meanwhile, they suffered from diseases including dental problems, elevated blood pressure, obesity, heart diseases and early mortality. But there is no evidence that there is a correlation between the two, and the author provides no evidence to show that the former causes the latter. It is highly possible that there are other factors accounting to the diseases, for instance, they had disease of elevated blood pressure because they were always in a nervous mood fearing the attack from wild animals. The early mortality was very likely relating to severe atmospheric[/ENVIROMENT]conditions. Without such factors taken account, it is unfairly to dram[/DRAW] any firm conclusion that it was the diet that brought about the diseases of ancient Saurians.[恩，这个确实应该是最大问题，得病的原因根本不是因为食物。反例也很精彩，怕别动物吃了，得血压高，呵呵，亏你想的出。不过挺好的]

Another flaw which weakens the argument is that the evidence the author provides is insufficient to support the conclusion drawn from it. Based on a specific evidence that ruling classes of ancient Sauria got diseases such as dental problems, elevated blood pressure and so on,[掉了转折过度词HOWEVER，] any conclusion related to all people in Sauria is illogical. After all, ruling classes are not representative enough for the all. Absence of any information about the diet and living condition of Saurians of all classes, it is hasty to concludes that the diseases mentioned are the result of the diet of them.我后来也想到这个，代表性问题，忘写了。失误

Last but not least, the author fails to take other factors related to the diseases mentioned in today’s Aaurias into account. The fact that those who have tried low-fat, high-carbohydrate diets also suffer from diseases such as high blood pressure, obesity, and heart disease does not necessarily indicates that it is the former that leads to the latter. It is equally possible that other factors are accounting to the diseases. For instance, taking too much sugar and taking little physical activity might both cause obesity. Moreover, the definition “those” is not clear. Common sense and experience tell us that the old are more likely to expose themselves to various of diseases because of age, in spite that they constantly have diet which do good to their health.

In summary, to better support the conclusion, the author have to provides some information about the living condition of ancient Saurians. we also need more evidence about the possible causes of the diseases mentioned above. Otherwise, we can not accept the conclusion drawn from the argument that the statement of the leading nutritional experts is wrong.

1．        贴出来前应该先放WORD里，自己可以改的自己先改过来。表示对别人的尊重。
2．        文章写的很充实，但还是希望能多看到些反例，比如我提到的哪个，我始终认为论述上其实大部分人都差不多，一个反例往往胜过一大堆费话，直接说明了问题。

说的都是肺腑之言,希望能对你有帮助.
吃饭去落


[ 本帖最后由 lestou 于 2007-11-26 18:13 编辑 ]