argument53[0806G-desperado小组]第11次作业by hongdan

hongdanUID: 2228730

53Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin—a hormone known to affect some brain functions—would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children—now teenagers—who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
提纲：
1. melatonin与shyness的关系不明确.infancy 可能惊吓导致的distress还是婴儿嘛，对外界事物比较敏感。所以说在秋天出生不能成为shyness的原因。
2.       长大了，发生shyness，13年这么长的时间了，环境的影响多一些。与婴儿时期无关吧
3.       研究只研究了25个婴儿，是不太少了。而且长大以后有一半以上的人更不能说明问题，可能占整体比例不高。
字数：563
The arguer professes that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. Based on the two studies of 25 infants and those infants' behaviors after 13 years, the argument appears to be well presented, yet close scrutiny reveals that the argument is far from satisfactorily reasoned. Indeed, the argument suffers from several logical flaws, listed as follows.

To begin with, the arguer does not give a scientific explanation for the cause-effect relationship between shyness and high levels of melatonin before birth. In the argument, the author merely mentioned that mothers' production of melatonin would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight and that the studied infants happen to be born in such a time, early autumn. Do only the levels of melatonin lead to shyness?  The evidence in the argument does not give sufficient support.

The fact that infants show signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli does not mean they are shy when they are still infants. It is common sense that infants are prone to be affected by their surroundings. They are just coming to the world and can easily be frightened by new things, and at that time many things are just new and never seen before. Consequently, the unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice can be very easy to make them feel scared and thereby shows signs of distress. Again, the study only says these infants shows mild distress, from this point; we are more prone to accept that it is the unfamiliarity that results in shyness, not the levels of melatonin.

Furthermore, the second study on these children after 13 years shows that more than half of them show signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Based on this phenomenon, the author concludes that the reason lies in the high levels of melatonin before birth. However, the author fails to roll out the influences of their living environment on their characters in such a long thirteen years’ time. Maybe some children’s fathers or mothers are so strict and often scold them that the children show less confident about themselves and then they are shyer in their everyday life. It is also possible that people living around these children who are shyer, such as their peer-age friends are all very shy. Plenty of possible environmental factors can make large influences on the formation of these children. Therefore, the author’s presumption cannot be substantiated.

In addition, the number of children in the two studies seems a little small. In the survey there are only 25 children, but in the whole world there are far more such number. Therefore whether these children can be representative of the whole population remains doubtful. Maybe the studying results of children in other places or other countries are quite different. In order to persuade us, the author should make sure the investigated children can present the whole children. Lack of such evidence, the results of the study cannot be convincing, let alone the relationship between shyness and high levels of melatonin.

In sum, the argument is not as convincing as it stands. In order to be more convincing, the author should make sure the reliability of the studies. Also, the author should take the environments’ affection on the formation of the children’s characters into consideration.

wangyu0920UID: 199396

提纲：
1. melatonin与shyness的关系不明确.infancy 可能惊吓导致的distress还是婴儿嘛，对外界事物比较敏感。所以说在秋天出生不能成为shyness的原因。
2.       长大了，发生shyness，13年这么长的时间了，环境的影响多一些。与婴儿时期无关吧
3.       研究只研究了25个婴儿，是不太少了。而且长大以后有一半以上的人更不能说明问题，可能占整体比例不高。
字数：563
The arguer professes that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life. Based on the two studies of 25 infants and those infants' behaviors after 13 years, the argument appears to be well presented, yet close scrutiny reveals that the argument is far from satisfactorily reasoned. Indeed, the argument suffers from several logical flaws, listed as follows. （我喜欢这段开头，概括的很好，自己已经被北美思路束缚住了，写不出新意来）

To begin with, the arguer does not give a scientific explanation for the cause-effect relationship between shyness and high levels of melatonin before birth. In the argument, the author merely mentioned that mothers' production of melatonin would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight and that the studied infants happen to be born in such a time, early autumn.(这句话感觉有些画蛇添足，应为后面并没有展开反驳) Do only the levels of melatonin lead to shyness?  The evidence in the argument does not give sufficient support.

The fact that infants show signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli does not mean they are shy when they are still infants. It is common sense that infants are prone to be affected by their surroundings. They are just coming to the world and can easily be frightened by new things, and at that time many things are just new and never seen before. Consequently, the unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice can be very easy to make them feel scared and thereby shows signs of distress. Again, the study only says these infants shows mild distress, from this point; we are more prone to accept that it is the unfamiliarity that results in shyness, not the levels of melatonin

Furthermore, the second study on these children after 13 years shows that more than half of them show signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Based on this phenomenon, the author concludes that the reason lies in the high levels of melatonin before birth. However, the author fails to roll out the influences of their living environment on their characters in such a long thirteen years’ time. Maybe some children’s fathers or mothers are so strict and often scold them that the children show less confident about themselves and then they are shyer in their everyday life. It is also possible that people living around these children who are shyer, such as their peer-age friends are all very shy. Plenty of possible environmental factors can make large influences on the formation of these children（formation在这里感觉有些不合适）. Therefore, the author’s presumption cannot be substantiated.

In addition, the number of children in the two studies seems a little small. In the survey there are only 25 children, but in the whole world there are far more such number(much more than 25). Therefore whether these children can be representative of the whole population remains doubtful. Maybe the studying results of children in other places or other countries are quite different. In order to persuade us, the author should make sure the investigated children can present the whole（represent all the） children. Lack(lacking) of such evidence, the results of the study cannot be convincing, let alone the relationship between shyness and high levels of melatonin.

In sum, the argument is not as convincing as it stands. In order to be more convincing, the author should make sure the reliability of the studies. Also, the author should take the environments’ affection on the formation of the children’s characters into consideration.

总体感觉很好，很自然和流畅，反驳细致有力，没有复杂的词汇却能表述得很清楚。有一个问题，这么多的字数是在多长时间内完成的呢？

[ 本帖最后由 wangyu0920 于 2007-12-21 00:32 编辑 ]