issue4[AWER小组]第1次作业

hardawayUID: 195666

issue7:

     The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life

documentation that if has become a more important form of documentation than writtern

records.

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The speaker asserts that the growing significance of the video camera for its speciality of accurating and convincing will take place of the written records to play a main role of writing records. In my view, in some cases ,this contention is worth trusting in. While, the enduring development of the science for recording will completely take all the room as long as the people's pursuit for contents of language wasn't vanish.
Once the video camera was invented, mainly for its accurating and multi feelings, the video products become more and more popular. Compare with reading a book, watching a video can give us the enjoy of listing and viewing. Even, the video can not only provide the character as the books or written records but also show a vivid colorful picture to attract our attentions. And the video will help the producer of the video to improve our existed thoughts that through the viewing. Therefore, in modern society, especially for a quickly pace times, we prefer watching a video to reading a book or a written record for the purpose of obtaining informations and knowledge.
There is another vital reason for sustaining the video witch relates with the speciality of reality. For the authors of the books and records, especially some biased ones, will take some personal notions to the contents and thoughts when they record an issue. Then the reader that if he is not very familiar with the fact will easily get an incorrect message. While the video is very different. Because video camera only records what it aims at amenably. With the very speciality people who watch the video will get the most original messages.
But any coin has two sides that the video camera was not an exception. There is an obvious limitation that the video camera that lacks the sorts of profundity as to touch the internal minds of human beings'. The video only reflect the object witch the video camera cares and it is also limited by the space and time. When it comes to the written records, one well utilized word  that break the bondage of video camera's can express so much profound notions that the readers could freely extend their thoughts to understand the meaings.
In conclusion, for the characteristic of multimedia, the video camera could afford some burdens of written records. In the other hand, take the current statement of the technology into account, the written records would still play an significant role for recording. In the final analysis, video camera and written records will work together for us to note.

[ 本帖最后由 hardaway 于 2007-12-25 21:04 编辑 ]

muriel616UID: 2138055

The speaker asserts that the growing significance of the video camera for its speciality of accurating and convincing will (EVENTUALLY)take place of the written records to play a main role of writing records. In my view, in some cases ,this contention is worth trusting in :funk: While, the enduring development of the science for recording will completely take all the room as long as the people's pursuit for contents of language wasn't:funk:  (这个MS不能用简写)vanish.(这个句子不理解?你想表达的是什么?AS LONG AS 是什么含义)
第一段读下来,心里觉得别扭,很多词用的觉得不恰当,水平有限,VANISH 按照WM字典的解释是指 DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY,这样绝对的用词似乎不太精确吧?)
Once the video camera was invented, mainly for its accurating and multi feelings, the video products become more and more popular. CompareING with reading a book, watching a video can give us the enjoy of listENing? and viewing. Even, the video can not only provide the character as the books or written records but also show a vivid :funk: colorful 一个意思 picture to attract our attentions.你翻译成汉语看看通顺吗??? And the video will help the producer of the video to improve our existed thoughts that through the viewing. Therefore, in modern society, especially for a quickly pace time:funk: s, we prefer watching a video to reading a book or a written record for the purpose of obtaining informations and knowledge.
论证不太严密,你的结论是获得信息似乎更是暗示更快地获得信息,可是之前的论证只提到了VIVID,加深思想,可是迅速获得却没有任何体现!
There is another vital reason for sustaining the video witch relates with the speciality of reality. For the authors of the books and records, especially some biased ones, will take some personal notions to the contents and thoughts when they record an issue. Then the reader that if he is not very familiar with the fact will easily get an incorrect message. While the video is very different.换些高级点的词吧 Because video camera only records what it aims at amenably. With the very speciality people who watch the video will get the most original messages.
But any coin has two sides 别用这个句子了吧视觉疲劳~~~~that the video camera was not an exception. There is an obvious limitation that the video camera that lacks the sorts of profundity as to touch the internal minds of human beings'. The video only reflect:funk:  the object witch the video camera cares and it is also limited by the space and time. When it comes to the written records, one well utilized word  that break the bondage of video camera's can express so much profound notions that the readers could freely extend their thoughts to understand the meaings.你能说服你自己吗?论证过于简单,观点也毫无新意.
In conclusion, for the characteristic of multimedia, the video camera could afford some burdens:funk:  of written records. In the other hand, take the current statement of the technology into account, the written records would still play an significant role for recording. In the final analysis, video camera and written records will work together for us to note.
总结:满篇充斥的单词,语法错误就不说了吧,自己好好推敲,可是读完之后根本感受不到AW应该有的学术感觉哎,单词用的真的太低级了,多背些书面词汇.
本人水平有限,说话也比较直,要是说过了别报复我啊~~~~

muriel616UID: 2138055

用ＷＯＲＤ标的颜色转到这就什么都没了．．．．．用了表情符号可是还是只有字母．．真是抱歉第一次给别人改，见谅～～～:handshake

lsjaneUID: 2415613

The speaker asserts that the growing significance of the video camera for its specialty of accuracy and convincing will take place of the written records to play a main role of writing records(前面说代替书写的记录来在。。中起到主要作用，这里再说writing records不是很好). In my view, in some cases ,this contention is worth trusting in. While（however好些吧~）, the enduring development of the science for recording will completely take all the room（呵呵~我不清楚这个词组的意思，能解释一下吗）as long as the people's pursuit for contents of language wasn't vanish.

Once the video camera was invented, mainly for its accuracy and multi feelings, the video products become more and more popular. Compare（我觉得用compared的形式吧） with reading a book, watching a video can give us the enjoy of listing（listening?） and viewing. Even, the video can not only provide the character as the books or written records but also show a vivid colorful picture to attract our attentions. And the video will help the producer of the video to improve our existed thoughts that through the viewing. Therefore, in modern society, especially for a quickly pace times, we prefer watching a video to reading a book or a written record for the purpose of obtaining information and knowledge.  Video record的优点

There is another vital reason for sustaining the video which relates with the specialty of reality. For the authors of the books and records, especially some biased ones, will take some personal notions to the contents and thoughts when they record an issue. Then the reader who might not be very familiar with the fact will easily get an incorrect message. While the video is very different. Because video camera only records what it aims at amenably(这里what引导的是什么成分呢，修饰record吗，看的不太懂也). With the very specialty people who watch the video will get the most original messages.  Written record的缺点

以上两点说明video record很重要

But any coin has two sides that the video camera was not an exception. There is an obvious limitation that the video camera that lacks the sorts of profundity as to touch the internal minds of human beings'. （句子太长，句式不对，去掉第二个that会好些）The video only reflect the object which the video camera cares and it is also limited by the space and time. When it comes to the written records, a well-utilized word  that breaks the bondage of video camera's(这个从句是什么意思？不是很明白) can express so much profound notions that the readers could freely extend their thoughts to understand the meanings. Written record也很重要

In conclusion, for the characteristic of multimedia, the video camera could afford some burdens of written records. On the other hand, take the current statement of the technology into account, the written records would still playa significant role for recording. In the final analysis, video camera and written records will work together for us to note.

首先，粗体标出的是拼错的单词。Accurate的名词形式是accuracy；其次段首句写的不是很好，比如说正文段地一段的首句说明“video record is popular”但是写的是其好处，我觉得中心句和文段应完全一致；最后文章结构，如果补上两者应共同起作用的论断就比较完整了。另外问一下，该文是在45分钟内完成的吗？如果是的，我觉得已经很好了，我到现在还不能在45分钟内写完一篇文章呢~呵呵~~加油哦~~有空拍拍我的~~

[ 本帖最后由 lsjane 于 2007-12-26 13:33 编辑 ]

hardawayUID: 195666

谢谢大家这么认真的帮我改哦，有什么只管说啊，这样才能进步嘛