issue141 [Jet小组]第二次作业～～皑皑～写恶心了……sorry

leftkissUID: 2347956

Issue141"Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."

平衡观点～～字数：410，没有限时～感觉是失败之作～写着写着就觉得乱了～只有四段，还是提纲有问题～我没有想好～脑袋匮乏，没有例子～我后悔啊～不该荒废～现在也只能挤出来这种东西～自己无限寒心中……:funk: too sorry ……to me and 看文的人……

No one can deny the fact that individuality plays a crucial role in pursuing personal economic success especially in today's world, a time evaluate individuality much more than before. However, we should not pay too much attention to individuality, while neglect the importance of conformity. Actually, only striking a balance between individuality and conformity can a person acquire the ultimate economic success.

To begin with, individuality plays a critical merit, considering that it means innovation and breakthroughs. A person with individuality is full of the most precious characters such as unique perspectives, enterprise, original thinking, and so forth. All of them are evaluate highly in the economic realm. Individuality creates competitions and challenges which are the stimulus spur the development of our society. Take Bill Gate and his company as an instance, he obtained his economic success just because his foreseeable idea and his suitable attention paid to his individuality. If it not the case, the PC maybe prevalence many years later. Another cogent example is Dell. Unlike other analogical companies, Dell sells computers to the customers directly, which benefits both the company and customers at lowest they can save the transition fees. In fact, this new strategy explores a broader market and also offers Dell economic success. Individuality, providing opinions from different aspects, is usually the guarantee of innovation even the probability precondition of economic success.

Yet, only emphasis on the individuality while overlook conformity, few will get economic success. The bridge between individuality and economic success is conformity. On the one hand, individuality grant people original thinking and unique ideas, however, the power of individual usually seems to be small and tender. So only rely on the individuality but ignore the conformity probable wouldn't bring the economic success. Instead, more cooperation work is needed in order to make those striking ideas come into true. It is hard to imagine how Dell and Gate make personal economic success if they did all by themselves without any help from others. Considering the examples mentioned above and many instances in other fields, it is obvious that economic success calls for indispensable individuality and conformity. People benefit each other from sharing individual ideas and cooperation.

(Additional, it is harder to draw a clear dividing line between individuality and as the development of society. Something new at the time they born, and become conformity and common )--到这里逻辑有点混乱，不知道这里还能加点什么～本来想写5段式，但是这段没有观点，其实想写：individuality and conformity没有明显界限，但是这样就把conformity解释为共性，就变成共性与个性的关系~跟我自己前面的解释就矛盾了～嘛算了，这段不要了-----互改的同学注意一下～皑皑！我自己乱了……

So, in sum, the best choice to anyone who wants to get personal economic success is to drive a balance between individuality and conformity. The ultimate economic success will spark in the cooperation of the two. The progress of pursuing economic success calls for innovational ideas and cooperation both as precondition.

[ 本帖最后由 leftkiss 于 2008-2-1 23:28 编辑 ]

dreamstringUID: 2389201

No one can deny the fact that individuality plays a crucial role in pursuing personal economic success especially in today's world(at present或者in current world会更好些),(用破折号吧？) a time(a period) evaluate individuality much more than before. However, we should not pay too much attention to individuality, while neglect the importance of conformity. Actually, only striking a balance between individuality and conformity can a person acquire the ultimate economic success.

To begin with, individuality plays a critical merit, considering that it means innovation and breakthroughs. A person with individuality is full of the most precious characters(characteristics) such as unique perspectives, enterprise, original thinking, and so forth. All of them are evaluate(evaluated) highly in the economic realm(field或者region). Individuality creates competitions and challenges which are the stimulus spur the development of our society. Take Bill Gate(Gates牛人的名字别写错了：）) and his company as an instance, he obtained his economic success just because(because of) his foreseeable idea and his suitable attention paid to his individuality. If it not the case, the PC maybe prevalence many years later. Another cogent example is Dell. Unlike other analogical companies, Dell(你这里是指Dell这个人呢？还是指Dell这个品牌？如果是指人还可以，但是考官可能会误解成品牌，那就有一点“物”去卖电脑的感觉了，想想怎么处理？) sells computers to the customers (customers或者the customer)directly, which benefits both the company and customers(the customer) at lowest they can save the transition fees(不好意思，这一句我没有看懂你的逻辑：）). In fact, this new strategy explores a broader market and also offers Dell economic success. Individuality, providing opinions from different aspects, is usually the guarantee of innovation even the probability(probable the) precondition of economic success.

Yet, only emphasis on the individuality while overlook conformity, few will get economic success. The bridge between individuality and economic success is conformity. On the one hand, individuality grant(grants) people original thinking and unique ideas, however,(前面改成句号，然后However,...) the power of individual usually seems to be small and tender. So only rely on the individuality but ignore the conformity probable wouldn't bring the economic success. Instead, more cooperation work is needed in order to make those striking ideas come into true(adj.换成reality或者同义名词). It is hard to imagine how Dell and Gate make personal economic success if they did all by themselves without any help from others. Considering the examples mentioned above and many instances in other fields, it is obvious that economic success calls for indispensable individuality and conformity. People benefit(benefits) each other from sharing individual ideas and cooperation.

(Additional, it is harder to draw a clear dividing line between individuality and as the development of society. Something new at the time they born, and become conformity and common )--到这里逻辑有点混乱，不知道这里还能加点什么～本来想写5段式，但是这段没有观点，其实想写：individuality and conformity没有明显界限，但是这样就把conformity解释为共性，就变成共性与个性的关系~跟我自己前面的解释就矛盾了～嘛算了，这段不要了-----互改的同学注意一下～皑皑！我自己乱了……

So, in sum,(In sum就行了) the best choice to anyone(one) who wants to get personal economic success is to drive a balance between individuality and conformity. The ultimate economic success will spark in the cooperation of the two. The progress of pursuing economic success calls for innovational ideas and cooperation both as precondition.

我觉得你在这个题目的理解上有问题。这个题目是说：大多数人都认识到个性（在个人经济成功上）的重要性，但实际上个人经济成功需要一致（不是合作）。新东方也把这个题目翻成了合作，但实际上不是这个意思。所以你第三段说的什么cooperation之类的是对题目的理解有问题。
另外这个题的结构是这样的：前半句话说大多数人怎样怎样，然后一个逗号加but，说明后半句话才是坐着的观点。也就是说，坐着是不认同个性的重要性的。所以你在第二段说个性是重要的，是对作者部分观点的反驳，第三段是对作者部分观点的认同。我觉得以老美的思维习惯，你应该把反驳的部分放在后面，而认同的部分放在前面。你说呢？

leftkissUID: 2347956

重读自己写的这篇有点:vomit: 的感觉～得整理一下思路～
谢谢～dreamstring了～～（因为这样的还要你改我有点过意不去:( ）
嘛～加油:handshake

dreamstringUID: 2389201

呵呵，别客气，共同进步！:handshake