issue51『AWER小组』第一次作业，有拍有回！

猫咬猫UID: 2380927

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
    As the economy and the technology of the society advances dramatically fast., no doubt that our society’s future relys on the children we educate.
For the sake of getting a brighter and beautiful future,many people begin to explore the most effective ways of education,which can be devided into two groups. The speaker's claim that much attention should be paid to the development of individuals belongs to one kind.,another kind of ways concerns more about the studying ability and the test scores of the students.
  Consider the reality, I can't absolutely agree with speaker's claims .As we know , the general population who requires education is immense,even the figures keeps increasing ,which brings much difficulty to accomplishing the task of popularizing the education worldwide,let alone satisfying individual’s need.and interests.As a result ,the education should be designed to adapt the majority’s need in first place.
   Second, as for the effective education,the moral values and life values play an important role in process which the students grows up , correct values will have an lasting positive effect on the children during their lifetime.Certainly ,it is the responsibility of us to teach them establish their own proper value system in a early time.
A broad perspective is so essential as the correct values of life.Suppose a student who fails to observe the trend which things evolves,how can he strike a balance and make decisions when he encounters with totally new and accidental situations?The lack of whole recogintion will result in much more serious problems such as losing control of himself or commiting crimes.
Furthermore, education cannot be described as effective until the students acquire basic skills and abilities,with which they can get on their feet in the society.The ultimate purpose of the education is to teach the students that how to live a life more meaningful.
  Nevertheless,the education for all-around development gets more and more attention recently.It is widely accepted that the creativity and the imagination promote the development of the society.On this side, the speaker’s assertion is somewhat right. If we don’t spend much time on cultivate students’ good charater and creativity,the students we educated will become almost the same copies of one model,thus the education doesn't funtion at all and may make the whole sociey silent and rigid just like a pool of dead water in which no lifeforms could live.
  In sum,if the students could build a appropriate system of values about life and moral,while utilize their abilities according to their interests,they can make a contribution to the society,therefore education is effective in this way.

[ 本帖最后由 猫咬猫 于 2008-2-2 17:03 编辑 ]

zhuzz05UID: 2355356

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
   
As the economy and the technology of the society advances dramatically fast., no doubt that our society’s future relys on the children we educate.(首段最好就提出你的观点)
For the sake of getting a brighter and beautiful （怎么就用了brighter一个比较级啊）future,many people begin to explore the most effective ways of education,which can be devided into two groups. The speaker's claim that much attention should be paid to the development of individuals belongs to one kind.,another kind of ways concerns more about the studying ability and the test scores of the students.
  Consider the reality, I can't absolutely agree with speaker's claims.(我觉得还是吧自己的观点放在前面比较好哦)As we know , the general population who requires education is immense,even the figures keeps-keep increasing ,which brings much difficulty to accomplishing-accomplish the task of popularizing the education worldwide,let al-everyone one satisfying-satisfy individual’s need and interests. As a result ,the education should be designed to adapt the majority’s need in first place.
   Second, as for the effective education,the moral values and life values play important role in process which the students grows up （of students' grow-up）, correct values will have an lasting positive effect on the children during their lifetime.Certainly ,it is the responsibility of us to teach them establish their own proper value system in a early time.
A broad perspective is so essential as the correct values of life.Suppose a student who fails to observe the trend which things evolves,how can he strike a balance and make decisions when he encounters with totally new and accidental situations?（这句结构有点乱）The lack of whole recogintion will result in much more serious problems such as losing control of himself or commiting crimes.(上面着两段都是在说道德教育，建议合成一段比较好啊，而且楼主只是说明了道德教育的重要性，而没有进一步阐述道德教育和只针对个人兴趣和爱好的教育之间的关系)
Furthermore, education cannot be described as effective until the students acquire basic skills and abilities,with which they can get on their feet in the society.The ultimate purpose of the education is to teach the students that how to live a life more meaningful.（这一段也是没能很好的展开）
  （这里没有明显的转折关系啊，全面发展和前面的道德教育和生存教育没有转折关系啊）Nevertheless,the education for all-around development gets more and more attention recently.It is widely accepted that the creativity and the imagination promote the development of the society.On this side, the speaker’s assertion is somewhat right. If we don’t spend much time on cultivate students’ good charater and creativity,the students we educated will become almost the same copies of one model,thus the education doesn't funtion at all and may make the whole sociey silent and rigid just like a pool of dead water in which no lifeforms could live.（此段的TS建议楼主在斟酌一下）
  In sum,if the students could build a appropriate system of values about life and moral,while utilize their abilities according to their interests,they can make a contribution to the society,therefore education is effective in this way.（这一段楼主说if the students could~~~~~，我觉得这么说不太切题。题目是讨论是否教育只有被设计成满足个人需求和兴趣时才是最有效的）


我觉得在文章的结构安排上，楼主还要整理一下啊


[ 本帖最后由 zhuzz05 于 2008-2-2 18:37 编辑 ]