ARGUMENT53[Jet小组]第五次作业

x6xUID: 2180130

[Jet小组]第五次作业
ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.

TIME:60min  DATE:12/2/2008

The author asserts that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy, which will continue into later life. At first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection tells me that I cannot agree with it for the following reasons.  

Firstly, the survey which is only based on 25 infants does not lead strong support to the assumption. Whether most of the infants, or large portion of infants conceived in early autumn have the same symptom is open to double. There  is a famous proverb that one swallow does not make a summer. As a result, since the base number of the experiment is too small to have general meanings, it is not wise to think a lot of  the phenomenon of those 25 infants.

Besides, the arguer does not explicitly established the causal relationship between the infants' symptom with the decreasing excreting of their mother's melatonin. Though the author explained that melatonin is a hormone known to affect some brain functions, we still get unaware of what the affection exactly works. Reading till this place, we couldn't help to question that is there any direct links between brain affections and their symptom.  Imagine that melatonin has impact on brains to make baby clever or even extroverted, how can we believe that it finally results in shyness.

In addition, the arguer does not provide the solid evidence that mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar thing in infant age is equal to shyness. Except of shyness, a lot of reasons can cause mild distress, such as felling cold, hot or wet, getting thirsty or hungry, being afraid, feeling lonely and so on. In the assertion, the author mentioned "when exposed to unfamiliar thing" to tempt us to imagine that the causation of distress is shyness. In fact, it is probably that their mild distress may even have nothing to do with those so-called unfamiliar things. For we can't be assured that mild distress means shyness, we can't safely accept the author's opinion.

Furthermore, the arguer ignores other relevant factors that may cause ones' shyness such as living condition, family case, society pressure. From 13 years ago to this year, a large quantities of uncertain factors may join into this time-consuming experiment, which is not a scientific and standard one as it lose control during its procedure. Suppose this medical experiment as a chemical one, the family case, social pressure and other conditions are similar with impurities, which make us difficult to recognize the real substance.

What's more, the author has made inconsistent conclusion and extension. Teenagers identifying themselves as shy may not be shy actually. The key point is that the researchers must judge shyness through a standard, such as symbolic behaviors, rather than through teenagers' descriptions of their feelings.

In sum, the claim is not convincing as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the author would have to show that the relationships between infants' symptom with  mothers' melatonin, and between mild distress with shyness. Additionally, the author must provide evidence of more general results. Only with more convincing evidence could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.   

txjlionUID: 2445370

The author asserts that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy, which will continue into later life. At first glance, this opinion seems to be somewhat convincing, but further reflection tells me that I cannot agree with it for the following reasons.  
第一段改写的不错，改写的比较简练，准确。
Firstly, the survey which is only based on 25 infants does not lead strong support to the assumption. Whether most of the infants, or large portion of infants conceived in early autumn have the same symptom is open to double. There  is a famous proverb that one swallow does not make a summer. As a result, since the base number of the experiment is too small to have general meanings, it is not wise to think a lot of  the phenomenon of those 25 infants.

Besides, the arguer does not explicitly established the causal relationship between the infants' symptom with the decreasing（题中的意思是该种荷尔蒙的分泌水平高于大多数的人，是一种已经存在的状态，所以这里是不是用high这种表状态的词更合适呢） excreting of their mother's melatonin. Though the author explained that melatonin is a hormone known to affect some brain functions, we still get unaware of what the affection exactly works. Reading till this place, we couldn't help to question that is there any direct links between brain affections and their symptom.  Imagine that melatonin has impact on brains to make baby clever or even extroverted, how can we believe that it finally results in shyness.

In addition, the arguer does not provide the solid evidence that mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar thing in infant age is equal to shyness. Except of shyness, a lot of reasons can cause mild distress, such as felling cold, hot or wet, getting thirsty or hungry, being afraid, feeling lonely and so on. In the assertion, the author mentioned "when exposed to unfamiliar thing" to tempt us to imagine that the causation of distress is shyness. In fact, it is probably that their mild distress may even have nothing to do with those so-called unfamiliar things. For we can't be assured that mild distress means shyness, we can't safely accept the author's opinion.

Furthermore, the arguer ignores other relevant factors that may cause ones' shyness such as living condition, family case, society pressure. From 13 years ago to this year, a large quantities of uncertain factors may join into this time-consuming experiment, which is not a scientific and standard one as it lose control during its procedure. Suppose this medical experiment as a chemical one, the family case, social pressure and other conditions are similar with impurities, which make us difficult to recognize the real substance.

What's more, the author has made inconsistent conclusion and extension. Teenagers identifying themselves as shy may not be shy actually. The key point is that the researchers must judge shyness through a standard, such as symbolic behaviors, rather than through teenagers' descriptions of their feelings.

In sum, the claim is not convincing as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the author would have to show that the relationships between infants' symptom with  mothers' melatonin, and between mild distress with shyness. Additionally, the author must provide evidence of more general results. Only with more convincing evidence could this argument become more than just an emotional appeal.  


文笔很流畅，逻辑分析的也很彻底，基本没什么错误。
写的不错　 ：）