issue130 【7\8\9\10】 7.19(第一次作业) BY warboy

warboyUID: 2444492

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

  

Children as our future will load our dream and continue our honor, thus, we have a responsibility to educate and breed them. The speaker’s claim includes two aspects: the social destiny decided by children’s socialization and the insufficient preparation we make. For my perspective, the former conclusion is almost correct, but the latter with some flaws is not perfect, due to the speaker’s unjustifiable generalization. My first contention with the speaker’s claim includes our own obligation for children and the reason of bringing up the unjustifiable generalization.

Youth means future, child means hope. We must concede that our world and society will be control and administrate by today’s children as well as we did. The character and quality of children’s socialization primarily decides the future society development. As children live in a world fulfilling war and battle, the higher children socialize ,the more element of aggression and revenge in their human nature will be stimulated for protecting themselves form others striking. So when they become adults, we can not rule out the possible that they will take the similar method to threat others and attitude forward the society. There is unequivocal example in the middle-east world of Muslim, especially in Palestine. In that country, the most citizens who do experience seven middle-east wars was born during the end of way in their childhood. However, when they grew, they began to adopt the same means any ways to using violence to harness and extinct the violence. The society, full of weapons and explosion, finally alternated a warmonger and criminal’s heaven.

On the other hand, do we have any responsibility to happening in children? In fact, most adults early realize what should do for their children, not like speaker’s assertion. The apt example involved the Mengzi’ s story. Mengzi, a great thinker and philosopher as Confucianism successor, was forced to make move three times by his mother in his childhood, because she must protect her child from the bad influence around him. With respect to contemporary action of parents, we would easily to find most similarity with Mengzi’s mother. Myriad of Chinese parents try their best to provide comfortable and safety circumstance for their children. Even if extreme example is like in the referenced example in Palestine, the children’s parents , in some extent, have to teach their children’ s viable skill to protect themselves. So the figure of society largely determines what we should give our children. Even if what we give perhaps can not be accepted and understood by people owning different society and culture. The variance in culture and concept in education is main reason why some so-called educational experts blame us that we have not learned how to raise children.

However, we actually must concede maybe sometime what we provide children is excessive and even improper. To send children to a high-tuition school, originally we expected a good education, would raise children’s bad habit of waste. To satisfy their any needs,originally we hoped blissful(beatific) live, would arouse their greedy desire. To warn them a world fulfilling dangerous, originally we avoided that children suffer terrible accident, would lead to bring up children's fear to external world. So what we give children is not the key, the key is what we give must be appropriate. Form this aspect, the speaker’s claim belongs its rationality.

In sun up, ourselves may be not perfect, so we can not be demanded that educate a perfect next generation. And due to the difference between the culture and nation, the judgement how to raise children is variable. Consequently, the conclusion is not proper that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, but we have to concede that what we teach and breed for children’s socialization will directly contribute to the development orientation.

第一次写的垃圾，花了三个小时，汗。。。。。。。。
拿砖拍死我算了！！！！！！！！！！

[ 本帖最后由 warboy 于 2008-7-19 22:30 编辑 ]

kidd83UID: 2157251

Children as our future will load our dream and continue our honor, thus, we have a responsibility to educate and breed them. The speaker’s claim includes two aspects: the social destiny decided by children’s socialization and the insufficient preparation we make. For my perspective, the former conclusion is almost correct, but the latter with some flaws is not perfect, due to the speaker’s unjustifiable generalization. My first contention with the speaker’s claim includes our own obligation for children and the reason of bringing up the unjustifiable generalization.

Youth（貌似应该是The youth吧） means future, child means hope. We must concede that our world and society will be control and administrate by today’s children as well as we did. The character and quality of children’s socialization primarily decides the future society development. As children live in a world fulfilling war and battle, the higher children socialize(child socialization) ,the more element of aggression and revenge in their human nature will be stimulated for protecting themselves form others striking. So when they become adults, we can not rule out the possible(possibility) that they will take the similar method to threat others and attitude forward the society. There is an unequivocal example in the middle-east world of Muslim, especially in Palestine. In that country, the most citizens who do experience seven middle-east wars was born during the end of way in their childhood. However, when they grew, they began to adopt the same means any ways to using violence to harness and extinct the violence. The society, full of weapons and explosion, finally alternated a warmonger and criminal’s heaven.

On the other hand, do we have any responsibility to happening in children? In fact, most adults early realize what should do for their children, not like speaker’s assertion. The apt example involved the Mengzi’ s story. Mengzi(帮你查了，该是Mencius）, a great thinker and philosopher as Confucianism successor, was forced to make move three times by（个人觉得是with) his mother in his childhood, because she must protect her child from the bad influence around him. With respect to contemporary action of parents, we would easily to find most similarity　with Mengzi’s mother. Myriad of Chinese parents try their best to provide comfortable and safety circumstance for their children. Even if extreme example is like in the referenced example in Palestine, the children’s parents , in （to)some extent, have to teach their children’ s viable skill to protect themselves. So the figure of society largely determines what we should give our children. Even if what we give perhaps can not be accepted and understood by (感觉用by不对)people owning different society and culture. The variance in culture and concept in education is main reason why some so-called educational experts blame us that we have not learned how to raise children.

However, we actually must concede maybe sometime what we provide children is excessive and even improper. To send children to a high-tuition school, had we expected a good education, would raise children’s bad habit of waste. To satisfy their any needs, had we hoped blissful(beatific) live, would arouse their greedy desire. To warn them a world fulfilling dangerous, had we avoided that children suffer terrible accident, would lead to bring up children’s fear to external world. So what we give children is not the key, the key is what we give must be appropriate. Form this aspect, the speaker’s claim belongs its rationality.

In sun up, ourselves may be not perfect, so we can not be demanded that educate a perfect next generation. And due to the difference between the culture and nation, the judgement how to raise children is variable. Consequently, the conclusion is not proper that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, but we have to concede that what we teach and breed for children’s socialization will directly contribute to the development orientation.

我想说下我的意见哈，首先声明我菜鸟一只，有不对的地方请原谅，你的文章的整体感觉我认为有点不对，但是又说不出来，我把我的提纲说下，参考下，不对的地方大家讨论：
１．培养孩子的社会化对社会是有必要的
２．但是我们不能忽略其他能力的培养
３．（结合题目的后半段）当今社会在培养孩子社会化的问题也是很注意的
以上是我提纲，如果感觉有问题请提出，谢谢！！！

warboyUID: 2444492

嗯，好像是我搞错了！

[ 本帖最后由 warboy 于 2008-7-20 00:03 编辑 ]

tsayUID: 2492916

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

  

Children as our future will load our dream and continue our honor, thus, we have a responsibility to educate and breed them. The speaker’s claim includes two aspects: the social destiny decided by children’s socialization and the insufficient preparation we make. For my perspective, the former conclusion is almost correct, but the latter with some flaws is not perfect, due to the speaker’s unjustifiable generalization. My first contention with the speaker’s claim includes our own obligation for children and the reason of bringing up the unjustifiable generalization. 很多语法问题自己改了再看

Youth means future, child means hope. We must concede that our world and society will be control and administrate by today’s children as well as we did. The character and quality of children’s socialization primarily decides the future society development. As children live in a world fulfilling war and battle, the higher children socialize ,the more element of aggression and revenge in their human nature will be stimulated for protecting themselves form others striking. So when they become adults, we can not rule out the possible that they will take the similar method to threat others and attitude forward the society. There is unequivocal example in the middle-east world of Muslim, especially in Palestine. In that country, the most citizens who do experience seven middle-east wars was born during the end of way in their childhood. However, when they grew, they began to adopt the same means any ways to using violence to harness and extinct the violence. The society, full of weapons and explosion, finally alternated a warmonger and criminal’s heaven.(很多语法错误 自己先改下 我再看)

On the other hand, do we have any responsibility to happening in children? In fact, most adults early realize what should do for their children, not like speaker’s assertion. The apt example involved the Mengzi’ s story. Mengzi, a great thinker and philosopher as Confucianism successor, was forced to make move three times by his mother in his childhood, because she must protect her child from the bad influence around him. With respect to contemporary action of parents, we would easily to find most similarity with Mengzi’s mother. Myriad of Chinese parents try their best to provide comfortable and safety circumstance for their children. Even if extreme example is like in the referenced example in Palestine, the children’s parents , in some extent, have to teach their children’ s viable skill to protect themselves. So the figure of society largely determines what we should give our children. Even if what we give perhaps can not be accepted and understood by people owning different society and culture. The variance in culture and concept in education is main reason why some so-called educational experts blame us that we have not learned how to raise children.(论证没有逻辑性)

However, we actually must concede maybe sometime what we provide children is excessive and even improper. To send children to a high-tuition school, originally we expected a good education, would raise children’s bad habit of waste. To satisfy their any needs,originally we hoped blissful(beatific) live, would arouse their greedy desire. To warn them a world fulfilling dangerous, originally we avoided that children suffer terrible accident, would lead to bring up children's fear to external world. So what we give children is not the key, the key is what we give must be appropriate. Form this aspect, the speaker’s claim belongs its rationality.论证不妥

In sun up, ourselves may be not perfect, so we can not be demanded that educate a perfect next generation. And due to the difference between the culture and nation, the judgement how to raise children is variable. Consequently, the conclusion is not proper that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, but we have to concede that what we teach and breed for children’s socialization will directly contribute to the development orientation.

问题:希望能自己改下 特别是语法 还有论证 问题比较多
最好列个提纲出来

warboyUID: 2444492

Children as our future will load our dream and continue our honor, thus, we have a responsibility to educate and breed them. The speaker’s claim includes two aspects: the social destiny decided by children’s socialization and the insufficient preparation we make. For my perspective, the former conclusion is almost correct, but the latter with some flaws is not perfect, due to the speaker’s unjustifiable generalization. My first contention with the speaker’s claim includes our own obligation for children and the reason of bringing up the unjustifiable generalization about our preparation.

Youth means future, child means hope. We must concede that our world and society will be controlled and administrated by today’s children as well as we does. The content and quality of children’s socialization primarily decides the future society development. As children live in a world fulfilling war and battle, the higher children socialize ,the more element of aggression and revenge in their human nature will be stimulated for protecting themselves form others striking. So when they become adults, we can not rule out the possibility that they will take the similar method to threat others and attitude toward the society. There is unequivocal example in the middle-east world of Muslim, especially in Palestine. In that country, the most citizens who do experience seven middle-east wars was born during the end of way in their childhood. However, when they grew, they began to adopt the same means any ways to using violence to harness and extinct the violence. The society, full of weapons and explosion, finally alternated a warmonger and criminal’s heaven.

On the other hand, do we have any responsibility to happening in children? In fact, most adults early realize what should do for their children, not like speaker’s assertion. The apt example involved the Mengzi’ s story. Mengzi, a great thinker and philosopher as Confucianism successor, was forced to move three times by his mother in his childhood, because she must protect her child from the bad influence around him. With respect to contemporary action of parents, we would easily find most similarity with Mengzi’s mother. A myriad of Chinese parents try their best to provide comfortable and safety circumstance for their children. Even if extreme example is like the referenced example in Palestine, the children’s parents, in some extent, have to teach them viable skill to protect themselves. So the figure of society largely determines what we should give our children. Even if what we give perhaps can not be accepted and understood by people owning different society and culture. The variance in culture and concept in education is main reason why some so-called educational experts blame us that we have not learned how to raise children.

However, we actually must concede maybe sometime what we provide children is excessive and even improper. To send children to a high-tuition school, originally we expected a good education, would raise children’s bad habit of waste. To satisfy their any needs, originally we hoped blissful(beatific) live, would arouse their greedy desire. To warn them a world fulfilling dangerous, originally we avoided that children suffer terrible accident, would lead to bring up children's fear to external world. So what we give children is not the key, the key is what we give must be appropriate. Nevertheless, most of us seem not to prepare well form this aspect. The speaker’s claim belong its rationality.

In sun up, ourselves may be not perfect, so we can not be demanded that educate a perfect next generation. And due to the difference between the culture and nation, the judgement of how to raise children is variable. Consequently, the conclusion is not untenable that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, but we have to concede that what we teach and breed for children’s socialization will directly contribute to the development orientation.

提纲：（1）说明社会化确实决定社会发展的方向，举例在palastine,孩子从小经历战争，长大后以暴制暴。使社会变成战阵贩子和罪犯的天堂
（2）说明作者关于我们未能准备好养育孩子的论断是不合理的，这种不合理可能是由于所处的社会环境以及文化差异造成的。而不是真正的为准备好。
（3）承认确实一些家长在培养过程中存在过头的地方，从这方面讲，作者的论断具有其合理性。

[ 本帖最后由 warboy 于 2008-7-22 09:12 编辑 ]

sstonehuUID: 2379503

Children as our future will load our dream and continue our honor, thus, we have a responsibility to educate and breed them. The speaker’s claim includes two aspects: the social destiny decided by children’s socialization and the insufficient preparation we make. For my perspective, the former conclusion is almost correct, but the latter with some flaws is not perfect, due to the speaker’s unjustifiable generalization. My first contention with the speaker’s claim includes our own obligation for children and the reason of bringing up the unjustifiable generalization about our preparation.Youth means future, child means hope. We must concede that our world and society will be controlled and administrated by today’s children as well as we does(did/have done). The content and quality of children’s socialization primarily decides the future society development. As children live in a world fulfilling(full of  ，fufill似乎并没有充满的意思) war and battle, the higher children socialize ,the more element of aggression and revenge in their human nature will be stimulated for protecting themselves form (from) others’ striking. So when they become adults, we can not rule out the possibility that they will take the similar method to threat others and attitude toward the society. There is unequivocal example in the middle-east world of Muslim, especially in Palestine. In that country, the most citizens who do experience seven middle-east wars was born during the end of way in their childhood. However, when they grew, they began to adopt the same means any ways to using violence to harness and extinct the violence. The society, full of weapons and explosion, finally alternated a warmonger and criminal’s heaven.On the other hand, do we have any responsibility to happening in children? In fact, most adults early realize what should do for their children, not like speaker’s assertion. The apt example involved the Mengzi’ s story. Mengzi (Mencius), a great thinker and philosopher as Confucianism successor, was forced to move three times by his mother in his childhood, because she must protect her child from the bad influence around him(感觉这个分句怪怪的，读起来特别拗口。不如就用because of the bad environment.). With respect to contemporary action of parents, we would easily find most similarity with Mengzi’s mother. A myriad of Chinese parents try their best to provide comfortable and safety circumstance for their children. Even if extreme example is like the referenced example in Palestine, the children’s parents, in some extent, have to teach them viable skill to protect themselves. So the figure of society largely determines what we should give our children. Even if what we give perhaps can not be accepted and understood by people owning different society and culture. The variance in culture and concept in education is main reason why some so-called educational experts blame us that we have not learned how to raise children.However, we actually must concede maybe sometime what we provide children is excessive and even improper. To send children to a high-tuition school, originally we expected a good education, would raise children’s bad habit of waste. To satisfy their any needs, originally we hoped blissful(beatific) live, would arouse their greedy desire. To warn them a world fulfilling dangerous, originally we avoided that children suffer terrible accident, would lead to bring up children's fear to external world. So what we give children is not the key, the key is what we give must be appropriate. Nevertheless, most of us seem not to prepare well form this aspect. The speaker’s claim belong its rationality.In sun up, ourselves may be not perfect, so we can not be demanded that educate a perfect next generation. And due to the difference between the culture and nation, the judgement(judgment） of how to raise children is variable. Consequently, the conclusion is not untenable that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society, but we have to concede that what we teach and breed for children’s socialization will directly contribute to the development orientation.

tsayUID: 2492916

第二个论点 论证不太好

tsayUID: 2492916

不明被你第二段说明的意思 反驳吗 还是立论