求挑语法错误和 增强文章结尾意见 COMEON作文小组-------9.15作业 Vanessa20

vanessa20UID: 2479494

9月15日

你同不同意说印刷书在二十年后将不复存在...(2007.8.4)

本人语法尤其薄弱，希望各位板油指正...从中学习学习...以免考试再犯...
使劲挑吧~~不客气
In this booming world, mass media dominates the society with its rapid development and up-to-date information. Recently,
it is said that printed material will be replaced in twenty years. Plausible as it might be, however, this day will never come. I would like to detail my reasons in the following paragraphs.

First of all, there is nothing as convenient as a printed book. Whenever you feel like reading, pick one up on the bookshelf then have a seat and enjoy. That's all. Neither do you need to be worry删去（改为 fret） nor will you be upset by（改为at） the battery.  即改为Neither do you need to fret nor upset at the battery.（ 原句感觉很不顺畅.....把worry 改为 fret是为了和upset 用同一个介词at，而且原来worry用法错误..）Because you are reading something printed on the paper, not digital. It is loyal and be here for you anytime as long as you reach out for it. However, the electronic book in MP4 or personal computer can not quench your thirst for your favorite book when they went out of battery.

Moreover, although  today the proportion of printed book is decreasing, in part, on the market making it seems plausible that printed material will disappear eventually, it is not. In retrospect, printed book has existed for a long time, even before the evolutionary process of mass media——from newspaper to radio, from television to internet. It sustained the challenge of technology, survived from the fierce competition and continued to thrive on every aspect of mankind civilization. Authoritative conclusions in scientific reasearch come to light in printed journal rather than electronic book; Essays are more convincible if author referred to bibliograghy rather than to internet. Obviously，publication is still reckoned as a predominant component in culture exchanging even in its tough situation. To be sure, it will not diasappear in the twenty years.

Finally,  I do not deny a gigantic amount of information provided by new mass media such as internet and television. It will both broaden our horizon and enrich our lives. Meanwhile, they are also distractions. As we witnessed myriad cases of students obsessed with online games or soap opera, gradually losing interest in study and ended up in dropping out of school. Thus, As for teenager, printed material is preferable for study.

In conclusion, publication will not be replaced due to its convenience and reliable function of learning.






[ 本帖最后由 vanessa20 于 2008-9-16 21:24 编辑 ]

ourtransUID: 2241441

晚上帮你改.

dzwvc123UID: 2546372

我也写过这个题目，奇怪的是观点居然和楼主一模一样，比如印刷书可以拿起就读啊等等，汗...
我的看法:1,sustained,survived,后面应该是continued,而非continue
                2,第三段第二行，to be worry? or to worry?
Moreover, although  today the proportion of printed book decrease, in part, on the market making it seems plausible that printed material will disappear eventually, it is not.     
decrease是不是用ing比较好啊，表示正在减少,那个it's not，？？？

当media做主语，谓语动词到底是单数还是复数，我也很疑惑，等牛人啦。

vanessa20UID: 2479494

原帖由 dzwvc123 于 2008-9-16 14:34 发表
我也写过这个题目，奇怪的是观点居然和楼主一模一样，比如印刷书可以拿起就读啊等等，汗...
我的看法:1,sustained,survived,后面应该是continued,而非continue
                2,第三段第二行，to be worry? ...

哈哈，这么巧...写这篇文章好累....观点都在挤牙膏....
1 的错误已更正;d:

3 是喔~~~后来想想还是用decreasing 比较好...
4 media这个问题看来比较麻烦....我在网上到答案比较可靠的 答案是

Usage Note: The etymologically plural form media is often used as a singular to refer to a particular means of communication, as in The Internet is the most exciting new media since television. Many people regard this usage as incorrect, preferring medium in such contexts. The etymologically plural form media is often used as a singular to refer to a particular means of communication, as in The Internet is the most exciting new media since television. Many people regard this usage as incorrect, preferring medium in such contexts. · People also use media with the definite article as a collective term to refer not to the forms of communication themselves so much as the communities and institutions behind them. In this sense, the media means something like "the press." Like other collective nouns, it may take a singular or plural verb depending on the intended meaning. If the point is to emphasize the multifaceted nature of the press, a plural verb may be more appropriate: The media have covered the trial in a variety of formats. Frequently, however, media stands as a singular noun for the aggregate of journalists and broadcasters: The media has not shown much interest in covering the trial. This development of a singular media parallels that of more established words such as data and agenda, which are also Latin plurals that have acquired a singular meaning. · The singular medium cannot be used as a collective noun for the press. The sentence No medium has shown much interest in covering the issue, would suggest that the lack of interest is in the means of communication itself rather than in its practitioners.

详情请见 http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/media
看来也真够烦人的，我想考官应该不会在这里追究...
学到东西啦，感谢各位！

qawsedUID: 2359935

However, the electronic book in MP4 or personal computer can not quench your thirst for your favorite book when they went out of battery.寄托家园Z{ y6x.v9N
这句意思是不是相反了呢？quench your thirst 熄灭你的渴望，词组用的很少见啊，LZ是怎么积累的啊??，全篇用的词组都很花哨啊，羡慕ing

ourtransUID: 2241441

In this booming world, mass media dominates the society with its rapid development and up-to-date information. Recently,寄托家it is said that printed material will be replaced in twenty years. Plausible as it might be, however, this day will never come.(plausible形容词放句首,修饰主句主语，this day is plausible不对) I would like to detail my reasons in the following paragraphs.
First of all, there is nothing as convenient as a printed book. Whenever you（第二人称） feel like（觉得喜欢reading？应该改为want to） reading, pick one up on the bookshelf and then have a seat and enjoy. That's all. Neither do you need to be worry删去（改为 fret） nor will you be upset by（改为at） the battery.  即改为Neither do you need to fret nor upset at the battery.（ 原句感觉很不顺畅.....把worry 改为 fret是为了和upset 用同一个介词at，而且原来worry用法错误..）(neither ...nor...连接的对象要对等，句子对句子，动词对动词，不能混用)Because you are reading something printed on the paper, not on digital medium. It is loyal and be here for you anytime as long as you reach out for it. (再斟酌)However, the electronic books(不是特指某一本书) in MP4 or personal computer can not quench your thirst for your favorite book when they went out of battery.bbs.gter.netu&gC#n2sg!S
Moreover, although  today the proportion of printed book is decreasing, in part, on the market making it seems plausible that printed material will disappear eventually, it is not. In retrospect, printed book has existed for a long time, even before the evolutionary process of mass media——from newspaper to radio, from television to internet. It sustained the challenge of technology, survived from the fierce competition and continued to thrive on every aspect of mankind civilization. Authoritative conclusions in scientific reasearch come to light in printed journal rather than electronic book; Essays小写 are more convincible if author referred to bibliograghy rather than to internet. Obviously，publication is still reckoned as a predominant component in culture exchanging even in its tough situation. To be sure, it will not diasappear in the twenty years.
Finally,  I do not deny a gigantic amount of information provided by new mass media such as internet and television. It will both broaden our horizon and enrich our lives. Meanwhile, they are also distractions. As we witnessed myriad cases of students obsessed with online games or soap opera, gradually losing interest in study and ended up in dropping out of school. Thus, As for teenager, printed material is preferable for study.寄托家园R9\7p[Man_0u[O8H

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In conclusion, publication（还是printed books更合适） will not be replaced due to its convenience and reliable function of learning.

dzwvc123UID: 2546372

楼主的用词确实有一手，感觉都是牛词，怎么积累的啊？

vanessa20UID: 2479494

quench your thirst 应该没有问题吧我想 ....
我在网络上找到的参考不多，或者你可以google下...
http://www.ask.com/web?q=quench% ... ;l=dir&qsrc=167
额......很花俏....意思是....:cool:

[ 本帖最后由 vanessa20 于 2008-9-17 09:56 编辑 ]

vanessa20UID: 2479494

谢谢ourtrans的修改，感觉你的思路和语言结构都很严谨，给我的提点不少
1.对于feel like
25. feel like, Informal. to have a desire for; be favorably disposed to: I don't feel like going out tonight. Do you feel like a movie?  
原来是informal 的，我还是用want 好了...

2.Recently,it is said that printed material will be replaced in twenty years. Plausible as it might be, however, this day will never come. 改为 Plausible as it might be, however, it can't be true. 这样说可以吗？

3.It is loyal and be here for you anytime as long as you reach out for it. (再斟酌) 这句我再想想....

ourtrans的意见很好，谢谢你！（后来我也参考了你的文章;)  发现你的写作还有一个特点，基本上都只举两个理由然后深入论证，由于我写文章的时候经常想不到观点，也偏向两段论证，（ 写完两段字数接近三百，但是加上结尾后还是不够，于是第三段通常是硬着头皮写下去...现在打算专营写 两段论证，但又怕不够well developed）
你觉得这样的方法要注意什么呢？

vanessa20UID: 2479494

感觉上t的文章的确着重词与句，而GRE 和sat 更偏重逻辑
但是刻意的堆砌词语会给人生硬的感觉....（难道我说的是我自己？:confused: ）
我通常会看一些主流周刊，个人更喜欢 reader digest更贴近生活，易引起共鸣，在论坛上会有推荐NG,washington post， NYT，time magazine ， the economist 这类的 也不错，但是我的水平有限.....目前还是只看喜欢又易懂滴....
我会多作摘录，然后尝试在写作中运用;d:
大家加油

ourtransUID: 2241441

我是比较懒,所以只写了两句,如果时间够,还是再加一段让步的比较好.有时候我在结论段让步,有时候懒了就草草收尾了,不要学我.