急求猛拍！！ 快考试， 先谢谢了哦

qing200UID: 2507993

62  friend

Different people have different qualities. Good qualities enables people make friends much more easily in societal communication.  I value friends possess good qualities of humorous, intelligent and honest.  I have many friends, humorous ones can console me when I was sad or frustrated, intelligent ones are work hard and excellent in their academic field so that I can find someone to help me when I encounter problems in study and they also can motivate me  to study more harder. While they might some times disappear when I need them, only the ones who a honest and reliable are always at my side, whenever I happy or sad they company me.


Humor is a very important quality of any person. One possess humor can lead a more happy life at home and provide happiness for family members.  When friends are in reverse conditions, a humorous person is good at console him or her and help others come out of troubles.   One of my humorous friends brings us a copious amount of happiness when we get together. But he is not very serious about his study and spends most time on playing computer games and societal communication. So we cannot see him at most times. Some times he persuade us join in his computer game teams or invite us take part in some societal parties, this distract us from study so that we do not like to stay with him very much.

Anyone wish to have intelligent friends. On the one hand, communicate with intelligent friends one seems less to make mistakes when he or she make decisions or do some things. For example, whether I should take a part-time job or not, my humorous friend says that part-time job is very arduous and low payment, since I actually do not care about that amount of money, I'd rather to spend my time freely such as enjoying a travel, or some other entertainment.  While my intelligent friend analysis the advantages and disadvantages for me, so that I can make a much clearer and correct decision. He says that as a student a job not only provides some payment, but more important is the experience of the job. So that I decided that I should have some experience out of school before my graduation so that I can know about the society out of school and  learn some useful skills such how to cope with coworkers and so on.

However, no matter how well equipped with good qualities a friend is, without honesty and reliability, little valuable can a friendship possesses.  For example, if my intelligent friend is not reliable, how can I believe what he says to me?  Reliability is the foundation of any relationship, without it any relationship will be meaningless. So I put the most important value on reliability for friendship.

qing200UID: 2507993

:)

jiang08UID: 2391146

题目是什么

velmawhiteUID: 2394088

It is better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.  题目说的是这个你是否偏题了？

Different people have different qualities. Good qualities enables people make friends much more easily in societal communication.  I value friends possess good qualities of humorous, intelligent and honest（不知道这样说可以不,of后面是否要跟名词）.  I have many friends, humorous ones can console me when I was sad or frustrated,intelligent ones are work hard and excellent in their academic field so that I can find someone to help me when I encounter problems in study and they also can motivate me  to study more harder. While they might some times disappear when I need them, only the ones who a(are) honest and reliable are always at my side, whenever I happy or sad they company me.  It is better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.  题目说的是这个你是否偏题了？

Humor is a very important quality of any person. One possess humor can lead to a more happy life at home and provide happiness for family members.  When friends are in reverse conditions, a humorous person is good at console him or her and help others come out of troubles.   One of my humorous friends brings us a copious amount of happiness when we get together. But he is not very serious about his study and spends most time on playing computer games and societal communication. So we cannot see him at most times. Some times he persuade us join in his computer game teams or invite us take part in some societal parties, this distract us from study so that we do not like to stay with him very much. OU

Anyone wish to have intelligent friends. On the one hand（没有发现on the other hand）, communicate with intelligent friends one seems less to make mistakes when he or she make decisions or do some things. For example, whether I should take a part-time job or not, my humorous friend says that part-time job is very arduous and low payment, since I actually do not care about that amount of money, I'd rather to spend my time freely such as enjoying a travel, or some other entertainment.  While my intelligent friend analysis the advantages and disadvantages for me, so that I can make a much clearer and correct decision. He says that as a student a job not only provides some payment, but more important is the experience of the job. So that I decided that I should have some experience out of school before my graduation so that(两个so that 重复) I can know about the society out of（两个out of 重复 beyond） school and  learn some useful skills such how to cope with coworkers and so on.

However, no matter how well equipped with good qualities a friend is（这句话读着有点别扭no matter how well a friend is equipped with good qualities）, without honesty and reliability, little valuable（worth名词） can a friendship possesses.  For example, if my intelligent friend is not reliable, how can I believe what he says to me?  Reliability is the foundation of any relationship, without it any relationship will be meaningless. So I put the most important value on reliability for friendship.   
文章部分细节观点不错，但是有些偏题。是让你比较你更喜欢哪种朋友，结构在清晰点。最后一段和第一段如果去掉说可靠之类的话这篇文章基本上就在向intelligent 靠近。这样看起来似乎就更清晰点了

[ 本帖最后由 velmawhite 于 2008-11-24 13:13 编辑 ]

fandigenUID: 2535142

:)

qing200UID: 2507993

我的题目应该是， 看重朋友的什么characteristic，
我本来的思路是无论有多少其它的有点，最重要的是要诚实可信，但是最后重点部分写得太少了

qing200UID: 2507993

谢谢批改，
我会改进:handshake