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[i习作temp] issue4 感觉格式不对,再发一遍^_^欢迎指点 [复制链接]

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发表于 2005-6-19 19:23:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
Issue 4
----------题目--------
“No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study”

------------正文----------
      As today’s development of science and knowledge,cross-courses study is becoming significantly important in every field that cited as the the intelligent development of human beings.Cross-course study can bring to a student open mind and broaden their horizontal of knowledge,thereby inspite their potential of creative.We have now enter a world which  in a great degree interdependent and indispentable in so many aspects. No individual can develop strong into a strong one alone .No discovery and advance can be made with narrow knowledge restrain to a single field.

       In the field of science , cross knowledge in different aspects is in great need.No breakthrough could be made if knowledge is lack in the relative field.Physical material study can never be lack of the knowledge of chemistry. Also ,many physical advancement and invention are applied to the medical curement .What is the most attractive is the multifunctional of radioactivity for curing cancer, for the dating technique used on archaeology ,for molecular biology and moderm genetics.What’s more , it is the source of nuclear energy and atomic bomb. How can all these make their achievement without the radioactivity’s discovery in the physical world.

       Concerning the economic study , mathematics is the most useful and persuasive tool in analysing phenomena and tesitifying the economic hypothesis.A great deal of work of the economists is based on studying the data from statistics .As in the economic world ,selfish is considered to be the human’s nature..The influencial economist A.Alchian’s work ‘uncertainty ,evolution and economic theory’ is refers to the thinking of Darwin’s evolutionism to explain the economic phenomena. Since then an intensive debate over scientific ways and means  has been touched off. The work of the biologist R.Dawkins published in 1976,’The selfish gene’ which use numerous example to prove that selfish is natal ,genetic and unchangeable of animal .And this book has arouse a new learning called “biological economy”. So with the knowledge from others field of study ,economy has now been a stronger and stronger dicipline attracting more and more expert to devote their whole life and interests in it .

      Nowadays magzines and newspaper articles have become a indispensable part of every citizen’s life in the whole world society.Literature critics have to find their ways and thought in philosophy world to deepen their thinking .Therefore makes their works into a more influencial one. A proverb indited by Thomas Jefferson is that ‘a free man obtains knowledge from sources besides books.What differ individual is the way they think and the way they do .To be a man free of mind ,and guided by truth is essential to make achievement in every aspect of society .Learning experience from people of other areas similar or contradict to ours will benenifit our study a lot . Our study will subtled and deepen when learning others similar experience,will be enlarged and become much more contained  by those have contracdict views and experience .So that with the strong foundation , great inovation tend to be inspired in every subtle.

       Francis Bacon once said “Histories make men wise ; poems witty; the mathematics subtle; natural philosophy deep ; moral grave ; logic and rhetoric able to contend .” Wise ,subtle ,deep ,grave and contend is five especially important factors in our success of study. And all these skills is derived from different study field.Further more ,knowledge is a comprehensive system ,each one is penetrating the other .There comes the cross-dicipline as the prospectest curriculum in this century. How can we doubt that the siginificantly advance is the interinfluence of different field of study?
坚持,追我所求

赐我长袖,我必善舞
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Aquarius水瓶座 荣誉版主

沙发
发表于 2005-6-19 21:44:51 |只看该作者
以后这种格式就对了~!

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板凳
发表于 2005-6-22 08:05:16 |只看该作者
我晚上给你改吧,把作文发到修改铺吧

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地板
发表于 2005-6-22 16:42:53 |只看该作者
占个位!
明天帮你看看!

加油啊
新手!
同时十分感谢你的改写
以后有事就pm 我吧
我很乐意互相帮住!

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发表于 2005-6-22 18:32:34 |只看该作者
谢谢支持,快马加鞭!
坚持,追我所求

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发表于 2005-6-22 21:01:57 |只看该作者
Issue 4
----------题目--------
“No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study”

------------正文----------
      As today’s development of science and knowledge,cross-courses(s去掉) study is becoming significantly important in every field that cited as the the intelligent development of human beings.Cross-course study can bring to a student(students) open mind and broaden their horizontal of knowledge,thereby(不合适吧?) inspite (in spite of)their potential of creative.We have now enter(entered) a world (in which吧?)which  in a great degree interdependent and indispentable in so many aspects(本句有语病). No individual can develop strong into a strong one alone(啥意思啊?strong into a strong?) .No discovery and advance can be made with narrow knowledge restrain(retrained)to a single field.

       In the field of science , cross knowledge in different aspects is in great need(in need是“在危难中, 在危急中”的意思).No breakthrough could be made if knowledge is lack(动词形式,则应使用lacking) in the relative field.Physical material study can never be lack of the knowledge of chemistry. Also ,many physical advancement(不可数名词,前面不能用many修饰,而且应当用advance) and invention(可数名词) are applied to the medical curement .What is the most attractive is the multifunctional(multifunction) of radioactivity for curing cancer, for the dating technique used on archaeology ,for molecular biology and moderm genetics.What’s more(前面已经用What is the most了,这里还有more?用additionally之类的比较好。) , it is the source of nuclear energy and atomic bomb. How can all these make their achievement without the radioactivity’s discovery in the physical world.

       Concerning the economic study , mathematics is the most useful and persuasive tool in analysing phenomena and tesitifying the economic hypothesis.A great deal of work of the economists is based on studying the data from statistics .As in the economic world ,selfish is considered to be the human’s nature..The influencial economist A.Alchian’s work ‘uncertainty ,evolution and economic theory’ is refers to the thinking of Darwin’s evolutionism to explain the economic phenomena. Since then an intensive debate over scientific ways and means  has been touched off. The work of the biologist R.Dawkins published in 1976,’The selfish gene’ which use numerous example(examples) to prove that selfish(self) is natal ,genetic and unchangeable of animal .And this book has arouse a new learning called “biological economy”. So with the knowledge from others(other) field of study ,economy has now been a stronger and stronger dicipline attracting more and more (前面刚出现stronger and stronger,马上又用一个,不太好吧?)expert(experts) to devote their whole life and interests in it .

      Nowadays magzines and newspaper articles have become a indispensable part of every citizen’s life in the whole world society.Literature critics have to find their ways and thought in philosophy world to deepen their thinking .Therefore makes their works(不可数,work) into a (去掉a)more influencial one(这句的主语呢?). A proverb indited by Thomas Jefferson is that ‘a free man obtains knowledge from sources besides books.What differ(differentiates) individual is the way they think (in)and the way they do (in).To be a man free of mind ,and guided by truth is essential to make(making) achievement in every aspect of society .Learning experience from people of other areas similar or contradict to ours will benenifit our study a lot . Our study will subtled(subtle是个形容词) and deepen when learning others(others’) similar experience,(主语呢?)will be enlarged and become much more contained (这个词似乎用的不恰当) by those have(having) contracdict views and experience .So that (so that不是这么用吧?)with the strong foundation(这个foundation指什么?) , great inovation(innovation) tend to be inspired in every subtle(形容词!!).

       Francis Bacon once said “Histories make men wise ; poems witty; the mathematics subtle; natural philosophy deep ; moral grave ; logic and rhetoric able to contend .” Wise ,subtle ,deep ,grave and contend is five especially important factors in our success of study. And all these skills is(are) derived from different study field(fields).Further more ,knowledge is a comprehensive system ,each one(指代什么?) is penetrating the other(两个并列分句没有任何关系,直接写一块不好。) .There comes the cross-dicipline as the prospectest curriculum in this century. How can we doubt that the siginificantly(应该是形容词:significant) advance is the interinfluence of different field(fields) of study?

引用了很多名言,不错。逻辑方面的问题还没仔细帮你看,先改了些语病:)
应多注意英文表达和中文表达的区别。
还要注意以下常犯的语法错误:
1.        名词单复数、可数不可数等
2.        词性、时态的选用
3.        句子中一些词应指代明确,特别是it、one之类的词
4.        句子结构完整,主谓宾

谢谢你帮我修改了Issue2,关于例子,你提的意见非常有价值,会重新考虑完善我的例子的,多谢多谢啦!!


[ Last edited by amanda1011 on 2005-6-22 at 21:05 ]
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8.17 鼎钧大战结束
10.22 清华

GAOUMOU战队!!

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发表于 2005-6-22 23:29:19 |只看该作者
有人给你改了,我给你改别的吧,

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发表于 2005-6-25 08:49:24 |只看该作者
As today’s development of science and knowledge,cross-courses study is becoming significantly important in every field that cited as the the intelligent development of human beings.Cross-course study can bring to a student open mind and broaden their horizontal of knowledge,thereby inspite their potential of creative.We have now enter a world which  in a great degree interdependent and indispentable in so many aspects. No individual can develop strong into a strong one alone .No discovery and advance can be made with narrow knowledge restrain to a single field.[用了好多否定哦,首段不要太长,会让人觉得乏味。]

       In the field of science , cross knowledge in different aspects is in great need.No breakthrough could be made if knowledge is lack in the relative field.Physical material study can never be lack of [常识错误,其实lack是动词,动词!切记!用sb lacks sth 或用lack in,记得啊!!] the knowledge of chemistry. Also ,many physical advancement and invention are applied to the medical curement .What is the most attractive [差名词] is the multifunctional of radioactivity for curing cancer, for the dating technique used on archaeology ,for molecular biology and moderm genetics.What’s more , it is the source of nuclear energy and atomic bomb. How can all these make their achievement without the radioactivity’s discovery in the physical world.

       Concerning the economic study , mathematics is the most useful and persuasive tool in analysing phenomena and tesitifying the economic hypothesis. [绝对了] A great deal of work of the economists is based on studying the data from statistics .As in the economic world ,selfish [selfish 是形容词,怎么能当主语呢?]  is considered to be the human’s nature..The influencial economist A.Alchian’s work ‘uncertainty ,evolution and economic theory’ is refers to the thinking of Darwin’s evolutionism to explain the economic phenomena. Since then an intensive debate over scientific ways and means [ways and means用得好]  has been touched off. The work of the biologist R.Dawkins published in 1976,’The selfish gene’ which use numerous example to prove that selfish [又来了,而且一个词在一段中最好不要出现三次,记得哦~] is natal ,genetic and unchangeable of animal .And this book has arouse a new learning called “biological economy”. So with the knowledge from others field of study ,economy has now been a stronger and stronger dicipline attracting more and more expert to devote their whole life and interests in it .

      Nowadays magzines and newspaper articles have become a indispensable part of every citizen’s life in the whole world society.Literature critics have to find their ways and thought in philosophy world to deepen their thinking .Therefore makes their works into a more influencial one. A proverb indited by Thomas Jefferson is that ‘a free man obtains knowledge from sources besides books.What differ [+s]  individual is the way they think and the way they do .To be a man free of mind ,and guided by truth is essential to make achievement in every aspect of society .Learning experience from people of other areas similar or contradict to ours will benenifit our study a lot . Our study will subtled and deepen when learning others similar experience,will be enlarged and become much more contained  by those have contracdict views and experience .So that with the strong foundation , great inovation tend to be inspired in every subtle.[ 这一段写得不错]

       Francis Bacon once said “Histories make men wise ; poems witty; the mathematics subtle; natural philosophy deep ; moral grave ; logic and rhetoric able to contend .” Wise ,subtle ,deep ,grave and contend is five especially important factors in our success of study. And all these skills is derived from different study field.Further more ,knowledge is a comprehensive system ,each one is penetrating the other .There comes the cross-dicipline as the prospectest curriculum in this century. How can we doubt that the siginificantly advance is the interinfluence of different field of study?  [亮点!]

To conclusion, 破题还行,但语言要提高。逻辑和文章条理不清,要加强哦。做的很好的是例子。最重要的是用你的例子很好的支持你的TS。要effective writing,切记~期待你的新作~加油!
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RE: issue4 感觉格式不对,再发一遍^_^欢迎指点 [修改]

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issue4 感觉格式不对,再发一遍^_^欢迎指点
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