Issue185寄托四人组8月13日作业

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分4秒     510 words
从2005年7月13日15时52分到2005年7月13日16时45分


觉得后面的例子引用的 不够好
------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

提纲：
＋－
1，丑闻的存在可以揭示一些人们忽视或被隐藏的问题
2。过于强调丑闻的 作用不可取，因为丑闻虽然可以引起人们对问题的 关注，但最终问题的解决更多靠法律和体制完善；而且在现代社会媒体发达，揭示丑闻本身，创造新闻对于媒体来说更重要，容易误导人们
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Scandals can give some impetus to the social development by exposing the neglected or hidden problems and pressing the concerned party to reform. However, excessive emphasis on scandals can be dangerous and harmful.

Disclose of scandals can supervise the proper function of our institutions and push the timely solution of some pressing issues. No society can claim it has been perfectly developed and there exist various problems like corruption or other dark deals because people always want more benefits for themselves or their party. Besides the laws and morality, the disclose of scandals calls for people to resolve them. For instance, in the political arena, various scandals have been made open to the public. In the Watergate scandal of 1972, President Nixon hired burglars to steal confidential information from his adversary in the election. Other numerous scandals of elections have also been reported worldwide every occasionally. All these remind people to build up sounder supervision systems to guard against those dark practices. At the same time, the scandals warn the later statesmen not to make the same mistakes.

However, overemphasis on scandals can be very dangerous. Scandals can only call people’s attention on the problems and they cannot totally rule out the possibility that those problems may come up again. To maintain social stability and prosperity, the society needs to spend more efforts to perfect its legal and institutional supervision systems. Moreover, though it is true that nowadays the media coverage has been a very effective way in disclosing scandals to fight against social problems. However, many of the mass media are too market-oriented that the major aim is to make more money by attracting more audience rather than focusing on the problem itself. Sometimes, the mass media make irresponsible reports and either exaggerate or create scandals about a certain political leader or other public figures. The former American president Clinton’s instance is an excellent illustration. After his sexual harassment with some White House female employees, especially Monica Luwinski, was disclosed, the mass media and his political adversaries try all means to publicize it. Their focus is not to warn him not to commit the same problems, but to disclose every little details to make it attractive and even entertaining to the public. As a result, public’s attention is distracted from his political achievements to his personal life. This not only influences his family, but also impedes him from focusing on the more pressing political issues.


In sum, scandals are useful in posing the problems in a society. However, the disclose of scandals, with its limited effects, does not always ensure the proper function of a particular society. Only with a well-justified attitudes towards scandals could we benefit most from it.

[ Last edited by 哥哥家有二师兄 on 2005-8-13 at 19:10 ]

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

占！

tangjihedeUID: 2107695

Issue185寄托四人组8月13日作业

------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：45分4秒     510 words
从2005年7月13日15时52分到2005年7月13日16时45分


觉得后面的例子引用的 不够好
------题目------
Scandals—whether in politics, academia, or other areas—can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could.

提纲：
＋－
1，丑闻的存在可以揭示一些人们忽视或被隐藏的问题
2。过于强调丑闻的 作用不可取，因为丑闻虽然可以引起人们对问题的 关注，但最终问题的解决更多靠法律和体制完善；而且在现代社会媒体发达，揭示丑闻本身，创造新闻对于媒体来说更重要，容易误导人们
------正文------
Scandals can give some impetus to the social development by exposing the neglected or hidden problems and pressing the concerned party[parties] to reform. However, excessive emphasis on scandals can be dangerous and harmful.[感觉过于干净了，可以加上一些speaker，I believe。。也算回应主题]

[First,]Disclose[ing?] of scandals can supervise the proper function of our institutions and push the timely solution of some pressing issues. No society can claim it has been perfectly developed[,] and there exist various problems like corruption or other dark deals because people always want more benefits for themselves or their party. Besides the laws and morality, the disclose[ibid] of scandals calls for people to resolve them.[这句和上面的衔接不太好。The disclosing of scandals, besides…, can just call for…] For instance, in the political arena, various scandals have been made open to the public. In the Watergate scandal of 1972, President Nixon hired burglars to steal confidential information from his adversary in the election.[你就把这件事摆着了，你的分析呢？而且事儿也没说到要害上，比如when several journalists exposed this scandal, the whole country was shocked and finally Nixon had to resign. ] Other numerous scandals of elections have also been reported worldwide every occasionally. All these remind people to build up sounder supervision systems to guard against those dark practices. At the same time, the scandals warn the later statesmen not to make the same mistakes. [这一段要论述丑闻可以帮助暴露问题和解决问题，但你只是简单的提到了一些政治上的丑闻，对于丑闻揭露出来之后社会的反映、后继措施、经验教训谈的不够。如果没话说可以举几方面的例子，比如教授剽窃给人们敲警钟了，更严厉的措施颁布了什么的。的确，你可以在下一段再强调了丑闻出来了之后，怎么规范制度才是更重要的，但这不影响你在这里说丑闻的意义，因为在这里你不提这些没法把丑闻的意义说清楚。]
[下一段论证：但人们也要注意，毕竟是丑闻出来了之后引起的制度变革，而不是丑闻本身，才对社会的进步更有意义。这些正是reformer做的。因而对丑闻的意义不能夸大]
[B3：此外，一些不负责任的媒体会炒作丑闻，这一点也应该引起人们的注意。]

However, overemphasis on scandals can be very dangerous.[在你对上一方面的论证不足的情况下，看到这句感觉你全文的侧重在提醒过分关注丑闻的负面作用上。因为你上面都没有用very dangerous这么严重的词来批政客。] Scandals can only call people’s attention on the problems and they cannot totally rule out the possibility that those problems may come up again. To maintain social stability and prosperity, the society needs to spend more efforts to perfect its legal and institutional supervision systems. Moreover, though it is true that nowadays the media [coverage word choice. “Coverage” is not an effective “way”. Media 监督 might be better] has been a very effective way in disclosing[换几个词儿吧，expose， reveal，uncover。。] scandals to fight against social problems. However, many of the mass media are too market-oriented that the [their]major aim is to make more money by attracting more audience rather than focusing on the problem itself. Sometimes, the mass media[even] make irresponsible reports and[去掉and，改逗号，后面的动词变动名词做状语] either exaggerate or create scandals about a certain political leader[ or other public figures重复。删掉]. The former American president Clinton’s instance is an excellent illustration. After his sexual harassment with some White House female employees, especially Monica Luwinski[misspelling. I don’t know the right word either], was disclosed, the mass media and his political adversaries try all means[every means seems better] to publicize it. Their focus is not to warn him not to commit the same problems,[出了丑闻就得负责，对公众撒了谎要不是当时经济太好了就得下台。共和党没有义务去教育民主党的总统。] but to disclose every little details to make it attractive and[or] even entertaining to the public. As a result, public’s attention is distracted from his political achievements to his personal life. This not only influences his family, but also impedes him from focusing on the more pressing political issues.[例子需要改变侧重。你可以【强调】说一些报道借题发挥，故意利用人们的心理，将重点【过多的】放在克的私人生活上，而不是针对问题讨论撒谎和总统的责任。不要试图为克林顿开脱。克林顿犯错在先，又在电视上撒谎，其实报纸不穷追猛打的话没这些细节(DNA鉴定），克林顿不会招的。而且用他的政绩为丑闻辩护也不妥。我觉得这个例子不是太容易说清楚。而且，你在举了例子之后没有进一步的分析，比如点出“因此，人们对丑闻也要分辨”等等，而你现在的结尾是在给克林顿伸冤。你看是不是？]


In sum, scandals are useful in posing the problems in a society. However, the disclose of scandals, with its limited effects, does not always ensure the proper function of a particular society. Only with a well-justified attitudes[No detail is offered in this essay to illustrate what “well-j attitudes” are] towards scandals could we benefit most from it.[No detail can be found to support how we could benefit from scandals.]

全文重新组织一下吧，我在B1之后列了一个参考提纲。