issue4 交作业

ldc792001UID: 2134601

ＩＳＳＵＥ教育类　总频率３５ 18:14
４"No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
这篇文章自己感觉写得还是有点浅，希望大家多多批评。

outlines:
1.some fields of study can develop well without outsiders ,for example art, music, literature ect in humanity science
2.some fields of study depend on other subjects development ,for example maths, technology, computer etc in natural science


In modern rapidly developing society, all kinds of fields of study are racing ahead in their own respective way. Some fields of research can advance significantly by themselves; Some are difficult to make essential progress without outsiders who bring knownledge and experience. I disagree the issue that all fields only depend on outsiders advancing because it maybe arbitrary at first glance.

To begin with, some field, if want to innovation, only, must rely on their intelligence and talent, which acquire from God other than outsiders. For instance, art, which is a subject of humanity society, oftentimes needs nutrition when it comes to creativity. The creative cells, even imagination, are furnished when borning. Taking artist Qi Bai-shi for an example, the Bai-shi old man is famous and high prestige on his paint works, which in all his works, shrimps are especially prominent. There is no doubt that his achievements depend not noly on diligent but also, even more importantly, on his talent, which can not learn from others. To try asking even if we absorb the genuine skills of Bai-shi old man, must we truly paint the shrimps marked baiship? At least I dare to say I can’t make it not because of my non-diligent, just because of the absence of talent in painting shrimps.

However, some realms, if any, advance on the base of other relative subjects development such as compute science development just benefit from mathematical research. The programming of software accomplishes by mathematics. Some orders program need formula and count of math, otherwise the procedure does not work. It is impossible to imaginate if without the development of mathematics, then the prosperity of computer science today will not come true.

To sum up, like such natural science as computer, mathsmatics, and physics etc, knowledge and experience brought from outsiders attribute to the innovation of a certain field. To the subject like such social science as art, architecture, paint etc, talents play more important role than the influence of outsiders. In a word, it seems arbitrary to take only one aspect into consideration.

sallyxinduUID: 2131253

ＩＳＳＵＥ教育类　总频率３５ 18:14
４"No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
这篇文章自己感觉写得还是有点浅，希望大家多多批评。

outlines:
1.some fields of study can develop well without outsiders ,for example art, music, literature ect in humanity science
2.some fields of study depend on other subjects development ,for example maths, technology, computer etc in natural science


In modern rapidly developing society, all kinds of fields of study are racing ahead in their own respective重复了 way. Some fields of research can advance significantly by themselves; Some are difficult to make essential progress without outsiders who bring knownledge and experience. I disagree with the issue that all fields only depend on outsiders advancing because it maybeis too arbitrary at first glance to be suitable do every realm
开头段太简单了点，不能很好吸引眼球，

To begin with, some field, if want to去掉 innovation, only去掉, must rely on their intelligence and talent, which acquire from Godtheir expertise还是科学得分析问题比较好，呵呵 other than outsiders.因为要创新，所以要靠自身，逻辑关系不是特别强啊 For instance, art, which is a subject branch subject of humanity society, and oftentimes needs nutrition when it comes to creativity. The creative cells, even imagination, are furnished when borning?. Taking artist Qi Bai-shi for an example, the Bai-shi old man is famous and of high prestige on his paint works, which去掉，另外这里可以断句了 in all his works, shrimps are especially prominent. 感觉前面论述的齐白石的声望和作品都和你想表达的innovation没什么直接联系　There is no doubt that his achievements depend not noly on diligent名词 but also, even more importantly, on his talent, 这里用creativity似乎更能切中要害which can not be learned from others. To try asking even if we absorb the genuine skills of Bai-shi old man, must we truly paint the shrimps marked baiship? 没太明白意思啊At least I dare to say I can’t make it not because of my non-diligent, just because of the absence of talent in painting shrimps.这种表达其实是很中式的，很不符和老米的口味，至少我不能怎样．．首先看出你的不自信，另外，以自己为对比物是没有客观性的。At least not all painters can rank as high as Qi in painting shrimps not only because their lack of dilligence,but also their lack of dower in shrimp-drawing.这样是不是还要好点呢？另外，结尾可以再总结以下，把话虾的例子引申到一个更广阔的面以说明问题的普遍存在性。

However, some realms, if any, advance on the base of other relative subjects development such as for example compute science development just benefit from mathematical research. The programming of software accomplishes by the help mathematics. Some orders programs need formula and count of math, otherwise the procedure does not workwill be held back. It is impossible to imaginate if without the development of mathematics, then the prosperity of computer science today will not come true.
不够深入，而且涉及的方面过于单一，除了数学对其他领域的帮助，可以说下其他的，另外，自己的分析认识显然少了

To sum up, like such natural science as computer, mathsmatics, and physics etc, knowledge and experience brought from outsiders attribute to the innovation of a certain field. To the subject like such social science as art, architecture, paint etc, talents 难道在电脑数学方面就不需要能力了吗？而且你用talent不能达到良好的对比效果，不如用speciality play more important role than the influence of outsiders. In a word, it seems arbitrary to take only one aspect into consideration.

整篇文章不够深入，论证不够全面，如果你善于在每段后总结就会好很多，否则你的分析就有点以点盖面了，没有很强烈的说服力．另外，语言方面可以再加强，句与句间注意连接以增加流畅感

ldc792001UID: 2134601

ＩＳＳＵＥ教育类　总频率３５ 18:14
４"No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
这篇文章自己感觉写得还是有点浅，希望大家多多批评。

outlines:
1.some fields of study can develop well without outsiders ,for example art, music, literature ect in humanity science
2.some fields of study depend on other subjects development ,for example maths, technology, computer etc in natural science


In modern rapidly developing society, all kinds of fields of study are racing ahead in their own respective重复了(同意删去own) way. Some fields of research can advance significantly by themselves; Some are difficult to make essential progress without outsiders who bring knownledge and experience. I disagree with the issue that all fields only depend on outsiders advancing because it maybeis too（同意用is too） arbitrary at first glance to be suitable do every realm
开头段太简单了点，不能很好吸引眼球，（支持，是我的水平所限,一定努力改进）

To begin with, some fields, if want to去掉（同意） innovation, only去掉, must rely on their intelligence and talent, which acquire from Godtheir expertise还是科学得分析问题比较好，呵呵 other than outsiders.因为要创新，所以要靠自身，逻辑关系不是特别强啊（如果将innovation改为qualitative change，不知道会不会好些） For instance, art, which is a subject branch subject of humanity society, and oftentimes needs nutrition when it comes to creativity. The creative cells, even imagination, are furnished when borning?（they come into the world）. Taking artist Qi Bai-shi for an example, the Bai-shi old man is famous and of high prestige on his paint works, which去掉，另外这里可以断句了 in all his works, shrimps are especially prominent. 感觉前面论述的齐白石的声望和作品都和你想表达的innovation没什么直接联系（我表达的是一些领域需要天赋的，而inovation 是出现在插入语当中，不可当主要意思来理解）　There is no doubt that his achievements depend not only on diligent名词（diligence） but also, even more importantly, on his talent, 这里用creativity似乎更能切中要害which can not be learned from others. To try asking even if we absorb the genuine skills of Bai-shi old man, must we truly paint the shrimps marked baishi? 没太明白意思啊（白石老人式的虾）At least I dare to say I can’t make it not because of my non-diligent, just because of the absence of talent in painting shrimps.这种表达其实是很中式的，很不符和老米的口味，至少我不能怎样．．首先看出你的不自信，另外，以自己为对比物是没有客观性的。At least not all painters can rank as high as Qi in painting shrimps not only because their lack of dilligence,but also their lack of dower in shrimp-drawing.这样是不是还要好点呢？另外，结尾可以再总结以下，把话虾的例子引申到一个更广阔的面以说明问题的普遍存在性。（[/color]（同意sally的这种该法，In a world, if you want to make qualitative progress in a certain field of study, dower and talent play more important role than diligence does.）

However, some realms, if any, advance on the base of other relative subjects development such as for example compute science development just benefit from mathematical research. The programming of software accomplishes by the help of mathematics. Some orders programs need formula and count of math, otherwise the procedure does not workwill be held back. It is impossible to imaginate if without the development of mathematics, then the prosperity of computer science today will not come true.In addition, consider for instance, the architecture realm, which is benefit from the painting, taste of beauty, and art etc.
不够深入，而且涉及的方面过于单一，除了数学对其他领域的帮助，可以说下其他的，另外，自己的分析认识显然少了
To sum up, like such natural science as computer, mathsmatics, and physics etc, knowledge and experience brought from outsiders attribute to the innovation of a certain field. To the subject like such social science as art, architecture, paint etc, talents

(同意) play more important role than the influence of outsiders. In a word, it seems arbitrary to take only one aspect into consideration.

整篇文章不够深入，论证不够全面，如果你善于在每段后总结就会好很多，否则你的分析就有点以点盖面了，没有很强烈的说服力．另外，语言方面可以再加强，句与句间注意连接以增加流畅感