issue154 教育类作业

greenlemonUID: 2169154

废话好象太多了,又有点跑了...........

1,家长和社会参与到教育中来是有必要的
A,家长是陪伴孩子最多的人，家庭对孩子的影响是十分重要的。
B,社会也很重要，人是生活在社会中的，因此肯定会受到社会风气，群体行为的影响
2，但是家长过多的参与也不好，要适度而且要配合学校配合老师和教育家们来对孩子进行教育。

Education has always exerted significant importance to the future of our society, and thus it is paid widely attention to the efficiency. Some claim that education is not only the task of professional educators but also the responsibilities of parents and communities. As far as I am concerned, this idea is reasonable, and it should be taken into practice followed an proper way.

Parents, as well as other family members, and communities will impact great influence on children's growing, though maybe it is unnecessary to involved parents or communities to the school, but these elements cannot be neglected by wise educators in the implement of effective education.

As for parents, who accompanied their kids most of the  childhood and the adolescence, do play an important role in molding the children's outlooks and value systems, as well as personality and even some habits. When children met some difficulties or something made them unhappy, the little boys and girls tend to tell their parents and searched for solutions from them. Even if children do not want to speak out what happened to them, they are actually eager to be cared and helped, and then they need the parents to actively ask them, for it is an instinct for them to resort to those they trust most, the parents. From psychological aspect, children seek knowledge and the ability to get along with others in school, while parents take the advantage to find the unusual activity in mind and act as a director to the right way helping children form healthy personalities and characters, especially their psychological health. Many young boys and girls feel dumps and be scared to communicate with others, for they did not communicate with their parents well and were used to hide all the fears, pains and other emotions or thoughts.  Moreover, as the little chick would imitate what its mother does, children are prone to act according to their parents and other family members close to them. One of my professors has said that we can see the parents from their child. So, parents need to be involved in the education of children, maybe not necessary to really take part in the normal process of instruction in school but at least taking the responsibility to the rest of time after school.

And the communities, a wider life span for children, which provide them more values and facts, would influence their minds especially when they have grown older. To some extent, communities are the real world to older children, because humans are a kind of social animals. As the saying goes, society is the most profound textbook. In this book, children read and mold their own ideas about life and themselves. If communities care nothing about the healthy growing of children, it is so easy and simple to instill children with unhealthy ideas and the sick social psychology. When students are taught to be honest and righteous, at the same time the society favors those who are good at cheating and playing with plots, or tolerate someone mastering about bribery and benefiting themselves with others' interests. It goes without saying that the efficiency of education would be seriously weakened, or even be replaced. So, it is necessary for communities taking part in the education.

However, it is the main task of professional educators that play the most important role of education. The educators, as teachers, professors, instructors, etc. do research on how to effectively educate the children and finally make the policy and strategy. What should parents and communities do is to cooperate with formal education to better cultivate the students. Too much involvement would result to the opposite effect. Some parents may care their children too much and prevent the effective education from its function. The overindulgence to the children will finally spoil them and prohibit them from shaping healthy personalities and independence.

In sum, parents and communities have their obligation in cultivating children being independent and healthy individuals, while they have to follow the directions of educators otherwise they would not exert positive affects but would do harm to their children.

rabbitvvUID: 2115592

1,家长和社会参与到教育中来是有必要的
A,家长是陪伴孩子最多的人，家庭对孩子的影响是十分重要的。
B,社会也很重要，人是生活在社会中的，因此肯定会受到社会风气，群体行为的影响
2，但是家长过多的参与也不好，要适度而且要配合学校配合老师和教育家们来对孩子进行教育。

Education has always exerted significant importance influence to the future of our societysocieties, and (thus it is paid widely attention to the efficiency) thus it is worthwhile to pay high attention to its efficiency. Some claim that education is not only the task of professional educators but also the responsibilities of parents and communities. As far as I am concerned, this idea is reasonable, and it (should be taken into practice followed an proper way) should be taken into practical consideration in a proper way.

Parents, as well as other family members, 其实as well as 和and 是起一样功能的，你这样连下来是有问题的。建议as well as 那个插入语去掉吧，使句子变得简洁and communities will (impact great influence) impact和influence 是不能搭配的 on children's growinggrowth, though maybe it is unnecessary to involvedinvolve parents or communities to the school, but these elements cannot be neglected by wise educators in the implement of effective education.

As for parents, who accompanied their kids （most of the  childhood）没有这种用法的。改成throughout their childhood and the adolescence, do play an important role in molding the children's outlooks and value systems, as well as personality and even some habits. When children met不要用过去时 some difficulties or something made them unhappy, the little boys and girls tend to tell their parents and (searched for) seek for solutions from them. Even if children do not want to speak out what happened to them, they are actually eager to be cared and helped, and then they need the parents to actively ask them, for it is an instinct for them to resort to those they trust most, the parents. From psychological aspect, children seek knowledge and the ability to get along with others in school, (while parents take the advantage to find the unusual activity in their children’s mind and act as a director to the right way helping children form healthy personalities and characters, especially their psychological health.) 说实话，前面那个很长的while引导的从句看不懂，而然有语法错误的，建议改一下 Many young boys and girls feel dumps这是一个名词，换一个动词 and be scared to communicate with others, for they did不要用过去时态 not communicate with their parents well and were used to hide all the fears, pains and other emotions or thoughts.  Moreover, as the little chick would imitate what its mother does, children are prone to act according to their parents and other family members close to them. One of my professors has said that we can see the parents from their child. So, parents need to be involved in the education of children, maybe not necessary to really take part in the normal process of instruction in school but at least taking the responsibility to the rest of time after school.
这一段写得有点过多了。你最好理一些层次出来。还有，谈到父母在教育中的作用的时候，我觉得更到的施动者应该是父母，但是你看你这一段绝大多数的主语都是孩子会怎样怎样。也不是不可以这样写，但总归要多着眼于父母主动会对自己孩子的教育如何如何.
And the communities, a wider life span for children, which provide them more values and facts, would influence their minds especially when they have grown older. To some extent, communities are the real world to older children, because humans are a kind of social animals. As the saying goes, society is the most profound textbook. In this book, children read and mold their own ideas about life and themselves. If communities care nothing about the healthy growing of children, it is so easy and simple to instill children with unhealthy ideas and the sick social psychology. When students are taught to be honest and righteous, at the same time the society favors those who are good at cheating and playing with plots, or tolerate someone mastering about bribery and benefiting themselves with others' interests.说反了吧, It goes without saying that the efficiency of education would be seriously weakened, or even be replaced. So, it is necessary for communities taking part in the education.
你在这里把communities理解为社会，也可以。但是在这一段社会是如何影响和有利于孩子教育的没有说清楚。
However, it is the main task of professional educators that play the most important role of education. The educators, as teachers, professors, instructors, etc. do research on how to effectively educate the children and finally make the policy and strategy. What should parents and communities do is to cooperate with formal education to better cultivate the students. Too much involvement would result to result inthe opposite effect. Some parents may care their children too much and prevent the effective education from its function. The overindulgence to the children will finally spoil them and prohibit them from shaping healthy personalities and independence.
我觉得你在这一段想说的主要意思是各种方式要互相弥补和配合吧。那么你的TS要改了。不然和下面的内容搭不上的。
In sum, parents and communities have their obligation in cultivating children being independent and healthy individuals, while they have to follow the directions of educators otherwise they would not exert positive affects but would do harm to their children.
你没有跑题呀。思路还是比较清楚的，从家长的作用到社会的作用再到三种方式的综合运用。没有问题。
就是句子的结构和语法一定要加强。文章不必写得长，但是错误不能太多。

rabbitvvUID: 2115592

对了，greenlemon,你有时间的话帮我看看我写的ISSUE130吧，也是教育题材的，还没人帮我改呢。
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... issue130%2Brabbitvv