issue175 同主题写作

paopaofynUID: 2124302

Issue175:
"It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual."

individual
innovation: 1. the introduction of sth new; 2. a new idea, method, or device
enterprise: willingness to undertake new ventures；initiative
unique perception：独特思维

提纲：
个人由于其进取心以及独特思维，成为革新的动力，同时革新的完成需要团队。
1、革新离不开个人的enterprise, Bill Gates
2、也离不开个人的unique perception, Bill Gates, Kalfka, Cai Yuanpei
3、革新需要团队来完成，尤其是在现代社会,Bill Gates

An individual is the impetus for a true innovation because of its enterprise and unique perception, and the achievement of an innovation needs a team.

A true innovation needs an individual has enterprise. Take Bill Gates, who has played a vital role in the innovation of personal computer, for example. He believed that one day the computer would be a valuable tool on every office desktop and in every home. Guided by this belief, he left Harvard to begin developing software for personal computer. As a university student, he gave up his study and devoted to his energies to Microsoft, which is proved to a great success. Obviously this needs him to undertake new ventures. Before he gave up his study, he is a student of Harvard, which is many people's dream, and he will definitely has a gorgeous future before him. What's more, his new company--Microsoft's future is still vague. At this situation, he was determined to devote to his career, undoubtedly, it is a show of strong enterprise.

Moreover, unique perception is also needed. Without his vision for personal computer, Bill Gates and Microsoft would not have today, and either the software industry. In other areas, the case is also the same. In art area, Kalfka, one of my favorite writers, who wrote "In the Penal Colony" in 1919, which deals with imprisonment and torture. It includes fable-like stories, and that is one of his innovations due to his depth perception. In education area, Cai Yuanpei was one of China's famous educators and intellecture leader. In the early 20th century when China was still in war, he emphasis on university autonomy and academic freedom, his reform was thorough and crucial to the development of Peking University, and many of his academic concepts are also in use today.

Meanwhile, the team is a place where an individual can make full use of his or her enterprise and unique perception. Again, let us take Bill Gates for example. Imagine it, without Paul Allen, his childhood friend, who built the Microsoft together with Bill, what will happen? Without the 55,000 employees of Microsoft in the 85 countries and regions, what will happen? Can Bill's dream come true? Can the software industry have such a rapid development? I do not think so. So teamwork is very important.  Especially in such a competitive world, a lot of work cannot be done by only one person. An idea cannot be taken into practice without others' help. A new invention, only by the inventor's effort, either cannot be translated into products to meet the consumer's demand. Because too much things we have to learn which is endless. With the help of others, the case will be totally different. A work, no matter how hard and broad it is, it can be finished under teamwork.

In sum, an innovation needs to be achieved under the impetus of an individual due to his or her enterprise and unique perception, and be finished by a team.

[ 本帖最后由 paopaofyn 于 2006-2-7 23:10 编辑 ]

rebeccavenUID: 2140456

蛮流畅的,但开头,结尾没有分量，有细微的语法问题

[ 本帖最后由 rebeccaven 于 2006-2-7 23:53 编辑 ]

rebeccavenUID: 2140456

ISSUE175
The goal of politics should not be the pursuit of an ideal, but rather the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

   Should the goal of politics be the pursuit of an ideal, or the combination of common ground and reasonable consensus, as the speaker asserts? To approach the dilemma, rational decision is supposed to keep a balance between both of them, for the reasons followed:
   First of all, too pragmatic policy will be not able to serve to our society entirely, so we need the ideal while dealing with the political issue. For example, DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE represents a kind of special American spirits to appeal to and direct thousands of Americans to promote every movement and development by generations spare no effort. It is a perfect ideal that has become a part of history and culture, in turn realized the goal of politics of forerunners.
   Secondly, any political movement cannot succeed or even begin without common ground coming from the public. Adimittedly, the political ideal always plays a significant role, which points out the direction so that every one could find impetus and hope. However, it is common ground and rational consensus that provide the practical feasibility to finish the goal. If the public support is dispensable, why every 4 years, the press must do public opinion poll before the president election? Evidently, tickets speak, the public speaks, and people speak. Consider, if no one support Martin Luther King, can the civil movement success? If no mother follows suit, can the movement of prohibition of gang be so powerful? If no person feel angry, can the Water Gate change Richard Nixon’s destiny? Totally impossible! Therefore, the politics cannot survive without majority’s advocacy. And in the end, this reasonable and impartial consensus will embody the value and benefit of the public.
However, we have to be sensitive to the public opinion’s traits: fragmental and diversified. The power of public opinion is like a double-edged sword. Thus the leader, regulator and legislator are supposed to direct and lead the opinion to better and larger societal welfare by the means of advertising their ideal. In this case, the two respects are virtually relying on each other. For example, Chinese government always promotes the studies and advertising of socialism theory to the community, while gain the people’s upholding and political consensus through reconstruction of the national economics. So we can see that both the political ideal and common ground and reasonable consensus should work together amount to keep the harmony of the society.
In sum, the political goal is best served when the head or governor consider both the pursuit of an ideal and the majority’s common stand. Besides, engaging political energy in combining them together is likely to bring better situation to the country probably as well as the greater benefit of people.

paopaofynUID: 2124302

ISSUE175
The goal of politics should not be the pursuit of an ideal, but rather the search for common ground and reasonable consensus.

Should the goal of politics be the pursuit of an ideal, or the combination of common ground and reasonable consensus, as the speaker asserts? To approach the dilemma, rational decision is supposed to keep a balance between both of them, for the reasons followed:
开头观点鲜明
First of all, too pragmatic policy will be not able to serve to our society entirely, so we need the ideal while dealing with the political issue. For example, DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE represents a kind of special American spirits to appeal to and direct thousands of Americans to promote every movement and development by generations spare no effort. It is a perfect ideal that  has become a part of history and culture, in turn realized 实现目标应该用reached，attained the goal of politics of forerunners.此句要不把idea后的that 改成which,要不在in turn前加上which
我认为该段在引用例子时，如果提到独立宪法在指导政治时期到的作用的话，会对TS起到更大的理解作用

Secondly, any political movement cannot succeed or even begin without common ground coming from the public. AdimittedlyAdmittedly一般用于大的转折, 慎用, the political ideal always plays a significant role, which points out the direction so that every one could find impetus and hope 如果加上to follow. However,一般用于大的转折，慎用 it is common ground and rational consensus that provide the practical feasibility to finish同上 the goal.此句语法有问题，表述不清 If the public support is dispensable, why every 4 years, the press must do public opinion poll before the president election? Evidently, tickets speak, the public speaks, and people speak. Consider, if no one support Martin Luther King, can the civil movement success? If no mother follows suit, can the movement of prohibition of gang be so powerful? If no person feel angry, can the Water Gate change Richard Nixon’s destiny? Totally impossible! Therefore, the politics cannot survive without majority’s advocacy. And in the end, this reasonable and impartial consensus will embody the value and benefit of the public.
赞！这段分析的好！

However, we have to be sensitive to the public opinion’s traits: fragmental and diversified. The power of public opinion is like a double-edged sword. Thus the leader, regulator and legislator are supposed to direct and lead the opinion to better and larger societal welfare by the means of advertising their ideal.若改为了lead the opinion by the means of advertising their ideal, such as better and larger social welfare是不是会好一些 In this case, the two respects are virtually relying on each other. For example, Chinese government always promotes the studies and advertising of socialism theory to the community, while gain the people’s upholding and political consensus through reconstruction of the national economics. So we can see that both the political ideal and common ground and reasonable consensus should work together amount to keep the harmony of the society.
据这个例子，会不会引起美帝国主义的反感，最好问问其他人
In sum, the political goal is best served when the head or governor consider both the pursuit of an ideal and the majority’s common stand. Besides, engaging political energy in combining them together is likely to bring better situation to the country 可否换一种表达方式probably as well as the greater benefit of people.

1、        RE作文的格式应该为开头不空格，每段之间有一空行
2、        你用的题号是新东方的题号，此题的在gter里的题号应为issue195(新东方的题号+20)
3、        中文痕迹还是有些明显，这也是我的一大问题
4、        整体思路很好，观点明确，你比我写得好多了，加油：）

[ 本帖最后由 paopaofyn 于 2006-2-8 14:52 编辑 ]

rebeccavenUID: 2140456

谢谢，你的修改。我会吸取教训的。
这篇文章，我拿给我的外教看过，她认为我的观点是明确的，也有关键词的出现，但是对于主题--政治的目标的论述不够完整，我觉得老外好象很重完整性，如，谈政治多少应涉及经济，可我谈的不清楚，就象你担心的，他们不是反感，而是不太了解或理解。她也认为对于独立宣言的应用还应详细一些。分论点的角度可更多。
还有，她觉得我以问句开头，但结尾却没很好的回答，总结。外国人更中结构。对于语法，她没提。   但是，她说我应多准备材料，例子，觉得我对美国的政治文化并不够了解。哎```肚子里没货，还是很容易被她看穿的。还是多准备例子吧。
共勉！