issue154 Baxia 第七次作文Anny

Anny.Y.WangUID: 2178596

谢谢大家多提建议哦
最近一直不在状态，可能是要开学的缘故吧！

Issue 154
"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

提纲：
1．        同意这样的观点
2．        说明educator在教育中的重要性， 系统的学习和很好的教学设施和同学老师之家的讨论有利于孩子的创新。
3．        说明家长在教育中的重要性， 培养学生的兴趣和建立良好的学习氛围。
4．        美国已经有这样的老师家长社团，说明双方参与的好处已经被接受和认可。
5．        总结，双方在孩子教育中都起非常重要的作用，


The author claims that education is important that both parents and communities must participate the local school for students' education. I agree with this assumption, although parents are our best friends, our first teacher, and know us very well; we should also go to school to study with others to gain more knowledge.

A former research indicated that harmonious environment of a family and the attitudes of parents on education are important factors that affected children's study attitude. As an old saying goes: interest is the best teacher. Parents are the first teacher for every child to cultivate their interests. For example, in a family, father is interested in reading various books, such as history, literary, philosophy and so on, he is well-read and versatile. His son, whatever he asks his father, will be given a satisfied answer. From that time on, the son becomes very interested in reading, and makes up his mind to be as erotic as his father. From this simple example, we may conclude that how essential the family education is!

However, professional educators play chief roles in traditional education, they make principles, make their own methods to teach and transfer core values. Under certain circumstances, it is much better for educators to make principles and it is a wise choice for the society to formulate core curricula, these courses are carefully chosen and arranged to meet all-sided needs of students, core curricula can form an organic system from primary to secondary level to provide students with sequential education. And traditional schools have good fallacy, some professors also have jobs outside, they can bring up-to-date information back, let their students learn more about the current society. Traditional schools also provide students with more reading books, better experiment instruments, more comfortable learning environment and so on. Teachers and students could work together, discussing academic problems, through teamwork; they can gain more useful information and different thinking ways, which can broaden their knowledge.

Admittedly, both society and parents play important roles in students' education. In United States, National Parent-Teacher Association (PTA) founded in 1897 in mission is to support and speak on the behalf of children and youths in schools and in the community, and before governmental agencies and other organization whose decisions affect children; to assist parents in developing the skills they need to raise and protect their children, and to encourage parental and public involvement in public schools. As time goes by, in the future, this system will develop successfully, students will gain perfect education through the cooperation of both schools and parents.

To sum up, both parents and society should be involved in education. While parents seem better able and better motivated to focus on cultivating children's interest and schools provide them organic system knowledge.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-2-10 20:58 编辑 ]

黑崎猫猫UID: 209414

对阿~~觉得没东西写呢~~写出来的又大同小异~~

顺便占个位子~~明天来改~~

freud5027UID: 2165870

The author claims that education is important that both parents and communities must participate the local school for students' education. I agree with this assumption, although parents are our best friends, our first teacher, and know us very well; we should also go to school to study with others to gain more knowledge.<表明观点的时候应该与文中的结构更加对应一些，although后面的话，放在中间段更为合适。>

A former research indicated that harmonious environment of a family and the attitudes of parents on education are important factors that affected children's study attitude. As an old saying goes: interest is the best teacher. Parents are the first teacher for every child to cultivate their interests. For example, in a family, father is interested in reading various books, such as history, literary, philosophy and so on, he is well-read and versatile. His son, whatever he asks his father, will be given a satisfied answer.<前后两句可以连起来，类似The son is attracted by his father's satisfying answer to any questions he asked, that还是which makes him become interested in...> From that time on, the son becomes very interested in reading, and makes up his mind to be as erotic as his father. From this simple example, we may conclude that how essential the family education is!

However, professional educators play chief roles in traditional education, they make principles, make their own methods to teach and transfer core values. Under certain circumstances, it is much better for educators to make principles and it is a wise choice for the society to formulate core curricula, these courses are carefully chosen and arranged to meet all-sided needs of students, core curricula can form an organic system from primary to secondary level to provide students with sequential education. And traditional schools have good fallacy, some professors also have jobs outside, they can bring up-to-date information back, let their students learn more about the current society. Traditional schools also provide students with more reading books, better experiment instruments, more comfortable learning environment and so on. Teachers and students could work together, discussing academic problems, through teamwork; they can gain more useful information and different thinking ways, which can broaden their knowledge. <对于专业教育者的主导作用阐述得还不错，不过为什么非得是traditional school?潜藏着新旧对比的意味……>

Admittedly, both society and parents play important roles in students' education. In United States, National Parent-Teacher Association (PTA) founded in 1897 in mission is to support and speak on the behalf of children and youths in schools and in the community, and before governmental agencies and other organization whose decisions affect children; to assist parents in developing the skills they need to raise and protect their children, and to encourage parental and public involvement in public schools. As time goes by, in the future, this system will develop successfully, students will gain perfect education through the cooperation of both schools and parents.<这个PTA组织好像不错>

To sum up, both parents and society should be involved in education. While parents seem better able and better motivated to focus on cultivating children's interest and schools provide them organic system knowledge.

总体就本人目前水平来看觉得不错了，我第一遍看下来觉得基本没有问题，再找茬样地看了一下，就挑了那么点刺。。。

forevercocoUID: 149574

提纲：
1．        同意这样的观点
2．        说明educator在教育中的重要性， 系统的学习和很好的教学设施和同学老师之家的讨论有利于孩子的创新。
3．        说明家长在教育中的重要性， 培养学生的兴趣和建立良好的学习氛围。
4．        美国已经有这样的老师家长社团，说明双方参与的好处已经被接受和认可。
5．        总结，双方在孩子教育中都起非常重要的作用，
The author claims that education is important that both parents and communities must participate the local school for students' education. I agree with this assumption, although parents are our best friends, our first teacher, and know us very well; we should also go to school to study with others to gain more knowledge.

A former research indicated that harmonious environment of a family and the attitudes of parents on education are important factors that affected children's study attitude. As an old saying goes: interest is the best teacher. Parents are the first teacher for every child to cultivate their interests. For example, in a family, father is interested in reading various books, such as history, literaryliterature，literacy是形容词哦, philosophy and so on, he is well-read and versatile. His son, whatever he asks his father, will be given a satisfied answer. From that time on, the son becomes very interested in reading, and makes up his mind to be as eroticerudite as his father. From this simple example, we may conclude that how essential the family education is!
这一段的TS写的很好，但是例子感觉浅显了一些，是孩子模仿家长，而没有把家长的主动教育突出来。谢谢儿童的思想品行大多受到家长的影响可能会更好。

However, professional educators play chief roles in traditional education, they make principlesmake principles好像不对，老师的主要作用应该还是传授,所谓传道授业解惑就是这个意思吧，因为不太明白你想表达的意思，所以不好改了, make utilize更好一些 their own methods to teach and transfer core values. Under certain circumstances, it is much better for educators to make principles and it is a wise choice for the society to formulate core curricula, these courses are carefully chosen and arranged to meet all-sided needs of students, core curricula can form an organic system from primary to secondary level to provide students with sequential education. And traditional schoolstraditional用在这里好像不大合适 have good fallacygood fallacy矛盾了，可以说good custom), some professors also have jobs outside, they can bring up-to-date information back, let their students learn more about the current society. Traditional schools also provide students with more reading books, better experiment instruments, more comfortable learning environment and so on. Teachers and students could work together, discussing academic problems, through teamwork; they can gain more useful information and different thinking ways, which can broaden their knowledge.
这一段感觉比较混乱，意思大概是教师不仅传授知识，还给学生带来最新的思想。关于core curricula的叙述有点喧宾夺主了

Admittedly, both society and parents play important roles in students' education. In United States, National Parent-Teacher Association (PTA) founded in 1897 in mission is to support and speak on the behalf of children and youths in schools and in the community, and before governmental agencies and other organization whose decisions affect children; to assist parents in developing the skills they need to raise and protect their children, and to encourage parental and public involvement in public schools. As time goes by, in the future, this system will develop successfully, students will gain perfectperfect太绝对了，better好一些 education through the cooperation of both schools and parents.

To sum up, both parents and society should be involved in education. While parents seem better able and better motivated to focus on cultivating children's interest and schools provide them organic system knowledge.

总结一下：我觉得这篇文章如果观点是agree的话，就还是要重点突出家长和社区的作用，因为这样并不代表我们反对学校教育，如果觉得混乱的话，可以尝试调整一下顺序，比如
B1：家长在思想教育方面作用重大
B2：社区在儿童的交往能力，以及社会责任感的培养上作用重大。
B3：而学校除了传授基本的课程知识外，也应该和家长，社区配合，共同促进儿童的全面发展（比如说家长开放日，也就是一种鼓励家长和孩子一起听课的活动，都可以写一下）
可以写家长、社区、学校在孩子的教育中各承担一方面的内容，这样内容应该就可以清晰一些了）

[ 本帖最后由 forevercoco 于 2006-2-11 21:34 编辑 ]

Anny.Y.WangUID: 2178596

谢谢大家的支持，我们互相鼓励，一起进步， 共同熬过最近这段时间
哦！！  加油！！！！