argument145 习作

于飞UID: 182859

TOPIC: ARGUMENT 145 - A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person-often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed-and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

1调查的问题
2长胖的原因，他因
3困倦的原因，他因

In this argument, the arguer claims that the people who snore should eat less food and do more exercise. To support his view, he points out that anyone who snore are more possible to have a sleep apnea and feel tire during the day through a survey. After careful scrutiny, however, the survey lacks enough credit to be accepted and the topic needs further consideration.

First, the survey has many flaws. In the argument, we could not see that the poll covers lots of people and the populace who are interviewed is random selected. If most interviewers are just the fat persons who snore, while who not are thin men. The result is not solid as the survey loses its affect. Meanwhile, without apparent evidence to sustain that the interviewers are form everywhere of the country, the poll is meaningless on the numbers.

Second, the data tells us that people who snore are easier to gain weight as they usually have a breathing break during the night. But the arguer fails to tell more about the connection between the two. It is possible that, the people gain weight is due to their bad living habits such as do not have a regular schedule, sleep too long in the day and so on. It is also possible that the person who snore is born a fat baby, and then becomes to snore, yet is not snore deduces to the fat, but it is the natural character. Therefore, the conclusion seems absurd.

Third, the sleep apnea will cause people feel tire during the day work. It is too arbitrary for arguer to say this before consider other facets. If they had a party outside or stayed up for watching TV yesterday, they would not be full of energy for working the next day. Meanwhile, it is also possible that the too dull work makes workers feel boring and burn out.

Last, comes to the conclusion that snore person should ear less and exercise more. It sounds reasonable according to the reasons listed by the arguer. Unless more details on that all possible causes are under regarding, and the survey is less suspectable, the final conclusion is illusion.

zhizhiUID: 2123761

In this argument, the arguer claims that the people who snore should eat less food and do more exercise. To support his/改为this吧view, he/个人感觉这样指代不太好，直接用the author就可以了 points out that anyone who snore are more possible to have a sleep apnea and feel tire改为tired during the day through a survey. After careful scrutiny, however, the survey lacks enough credit to be accepted and the topic needs further consideration.

First, the survey has many flaws. In the argument, we could not see that the poll covers lots of感觉lots of 本身就不够准确，用enough好了，很多不表示足以说明问题 people and the populace who are interviewed is random selected. If most interviewers are just the fat persons who snore, while who not are thin men.这里没说清楚:confused: The result is not solid as the survey loses its affect. Meanwhile, without apparent evidence to sustain that the interviewers are form everywhere of the country, the poll is meaningless on the numbers.感觉逻辑上有些杂乱，句子之间层次没有说清楚，缺乏合适的连接，段落结尾也没有总结

Second, the data tells us that people who snore are easier to gain weight as they usually have a breathing break during the night. But the arguer fails to tell more about the connection between the two. It is possible that, the people gain weight is due to their bad living habits such as do not have a regular schedule, sleep too long in the day and so on. It is also possible that the person who snore is born a fat baby, and then becomes to snore, yet is not snore deduces to the fat, but it is the natural character. Therefore, the conclusion seems absurd.这一段的意思还比较清晰

Third, the sleep apnea will cause people feel tire改为tired during the day work. It is too arbitrary for 加the arguer to say this before consider other facets. If they had a party outside or stayed up for watching TV yesterday, they would not be full of energy for working the next day. Meanwhile, it is also possible that the too dull work makes workers feel boring and burn out.

Last, comes to the conclusion that snore person should ear less and exercise more.这是个啥句式？ It sounds reasonable according to the reasons listed by the arguer. Unless more details on that all possible causes are under regarding, and the survey is less suspectable, the final conclusion is illusion.

这道阿狗逻辑错误比较明显，文章该找的错误也都找出来了
可能是我argument习惯用模版的缘故，看lz的文章总感觉有点儿weird，个人建议句式方面还是多参考一些闪光句式之类的，让文章看起来更流畅一些。
加油，呵呵:)

于飞UID: 182859

谢谢拍砖，因为以前习惯用模板了，所以这次准备从一开始就抛弃了模板，这篇文章写得很断续，而且对原文的错误感觉没什么话说，呵呵。

rose_wangyuanUID: 202907

第一次改作文，如有不当之处，请批评指正并见谅！

In this argument, the arguer claims that the people who snore should eat less food and do more exercise. To support his view, he points out that anyone who snore are more possible to have a sleep apnea and feel tire during the day through a survey. After careful scrutiny, however, the survey lacks enough credit to be accepted and the topic needs further consideration.

First, the survey has many flaws. In the argument, we could not see that the poll covers lots of people(lots of 感觉还是不够，enough people to support his arguement) and the populace who are interviewed is random selected. If most interviewers are just the fat persons who snore, while who not are thin men. The result is not solid as the survey loses its affect (?). Meanwhile, without apparent evidence to sustain that the interviewers are form everywhere of the country, the poll is meaningless on the numbers.(This paragraph is not so powful in pointing out his logical fallacy.Something that can apply to all the cases is always weak in arguement)
Second, the data tells us that people who snore are easier to gain weight as they usually have a breathing break during the night. But the arguer fails to tell more about the connection between the two. It is possible that, the people gain weight is due to their bad living habits such as do not have a regular schedule, sleep too long in the day and so on. It is also possible that the person who snore is born a fat baby, and then becomes to snore, yet is not snore deduces to the fat, but it is the natural character. Therefore, the conclusion seems absurd.

Third, the sleep apnea will cause people feel tire during the day work. It is too arbitrary for arguer to say this before consider other facets. If they had a party outside or stayed up for watching TV yesterday, they would not be full of energy for working the next day. Meanwhile, it is also possible that the too dull work makes workers feel boring and burn out（这里好像应该再进一步点到take less exercise and gain weight).
Last, comes to the conclusion that snore person should ear less and exercise more. It sounds reasonable according to the reasons listed by the arguer. Unless more details
（上下文都没有提到details的内容，这样写有点泛） on that all possible causes are under regarding, and the survey is less suspectable, the final conclusion is illusion.

我觉得这个arguement最大的fallacy是结论与证据的因果倒置:eat less 能使人变瘦，却并不能少打呼，但是少打呼，按他的逻辑，是能够使人lose weight的，所以最后一句的therefore是完全没有道理的