argument147 sally 小组 2 月22的作业

weiweizhuUID：179352

题目：ARGUMENT 147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
字数：540          用时：不限时          日期：2006-2-22

In this article of a business magazine, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase even though they have declined over the past two years. To substantiate his claim, the arguer cites a survey to show that the features players emphasize is lifelike graphics, which is consistent with the feature of Whirlwind's product. It seems reasonable at first glance, however deep scrutiny reveals several flaws in the article.

In the first place, the reliability of the survey is open to doubt. The arguer dose not provide any information about how the survey conduct, does the number of people large enough to be statistically significant, are those people chosen randomly so that they can be representative of all people playing games. It is quite possible that the age of people in the survey is mainly range from 25 to 40, the age-group seldomly play games. If it is the case, the survey can lend little support to show the prefer feature of players is lifelike graphics.

In the second place, fact that lifelike graphics are the most significant in the games dose not necessarily means that players would purchase more games of such kind of. The arguer has said that people aged 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games and the lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. It is entirely possible that players aged 10 to 25 cannot earn enough money to afford the most up-to-date computers so they are able to play such kind of games even they place lifelike graphics in the first among the game features. Due to the fact mentioned above, the assumption that sales of those video games would be augment may be totally ungrounded.

In the third place, the arguer does not recognize the truth causes that contribute to the declination of the whirlwind sales during past two years. On the one hand, maybe the industry of video games is in depression. It is likely that hand-in playing computer has been invited which attract most of the computer players and make the substitution of the formal computer games that lead to the decline of all games, no matter what kind of features the games have. On the other hand, probably it is the high price or the bad sale service other than the feature of the games that result in the reduction of the sales. It is equally possible that in the recent market, many companies have already introduced lifelike graphic games, making the competition severely. Customs may choose games produced by other companies with lower price or with additional significant features but not games of Whirlwind. Even the lifelike graphic games will truly popular, the sales of Whirlwind games will not accordingly increase. Without ruling out those possibilities, simply drawing conclusion that the sales of lifelike graphic video games will increase would be not persuasive.

In conclusion, the article about increasing of Whirlwind sales is inconvincible as it stands. To substantiate it, the arguer should provide detail information about the survey and guarantee that players emphasize lifelike graphic games will definitely purchase them. To better estimate the article, we should get additional information about the market situation and the real factors that make the sales decline.

[ 本帖最后由 staralways 于 2006-2-24 00:34 编辑 ]

小室黄瓜UID：2155213

In this article of a business magazine, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase even though they have declined over the past two years. To substantiate his claim, the arguer cites a survey to show that the features players emphasize is lifelike graphics, which is consistent with the feature of Whirlwind's product. It seems reasonable at first glance, however deep scrutiny reveals several flaws in the article.

In the first place, the reliability of the survey is open to doubt. The arguer dose not provide any information about how the survey conduct, does the number of people large enough to be statistically significant, are those people chosen randomly so that they can be representative of all people playing games. It is quite possible that the age of people in the survey is mainly range from 25 to 40, the age-group seldomly play games. If it is the case, the survey can lend little support to show the prefer feature of players is lifelike graphics.

In the second place, fact that lifelike graphics are the most significant in the games dose not necessarily means that players would purchase more games of such kind of. The arguer has said that people aged 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games and the lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. It is entirely possible that players aged 10 to 25 cannot earn enough money to afford the most up-to-date computers so they are able to play such kind of games even they place lifelike graphics in the first among the game features.（为什么买不起，可以再说一句） Due to the fact mentioned above, the assumption that sales of those video games would be augment may be totally ungrounded. 这样的段落感觉非常模式化，虽然很规矩，但是分析的东西相比开头和结尾句，就没有占据很多位置。自家之言，仅供参考，我觉得模板太多人在用，所以weiweizhu再多分析点应该更好，突显出自己的东西。
In the third place, the arguer does not recognize the truth （real） causes that contribute to the declination of the whirlwind sales during past two years （so that it is hard to assume that the sales can be drastically increased） . On the one hand, maybe the industry of video games is in depression. It is likely that hand-in playing computer has been invited which attract most of the computer players and make the substitution of the formal computer games that lead to the decline of all games, no matter what kind of features the games have（很有想象力噢！不过有点太牵强了吧？你觉得呢？大家讨论一下，这种可能性可不可以提吧？）. On the other hand, probably it is the high price or the bad sale service other than the feature of the games that result in the reduction of the sales. It is equally possible that in the recent market, many companies have already introduced lifelike graphic games, making the competition severely. Customs may choose games produced by other companies with lower price or with additional significant features but not games of Whirlwind. Even the lifelike graphic games will truly popular, the sales of Whirlwind games will not accordingly increase. Without ruling out those possibilities, simply drawing conclusion that the sales of lifelike graphic video games will increase would be not persuasive. 就段落来讲，你的第三点反而说的比1，2 点要多，如果不是有递进的关系，或是其他关系的话，单从挑错误的顺序来说，应该是先说最主要的，最错误的，而这样你的第三点感觉应该放在前面。


In conclusion, the article about increasing of Whirlwind sales is inconvincible as it stands. To substantiate it, the arguer should provide detail information about the survey and guarantee that players emphasize lifelike graphic games will definitely purchase them. To better estimate the article, we should get additional information about the market situation and the real factors that make the sales decline.
总的来说，写得很好了。规规矩矩的，开头结尾都不错。我到现在还没有自己的模板呢，向你学习！

ldc792001UID：2134601

argument147 sally 小组 2 月22的作业

题目：ARGUMENT 147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
字数：540          用时：不限时          日期：2006-2-22

In this article of a business magazine, the arguer claims that the sales of Whirlwind video games would increase even though they have declined over the past two years. To substantiate his claim, the arguer cites a survey to show that the features players emphasize is lifelike graphics, which is consistent with the feature of Whirlwind's product. It seems reasonable at first glance, however deep scrutiny reveals several flaws in the article.(开头中规中距)

In the first place, the reliability of the survey is open to doubt. The arguer dose not provide any information about how the survey conduct, does the number of people large enough to be statistically significant, are those people chosen randomly so that they can be representative of all people playing games. It is quite possible that the age of people in the survey is mainly range from 25 to 40, the age-group seldomly play games. If it is the case, the survey can lend little support to show the prefer feature of players is lifelike graphics.（survey的问题）

In the second place, fact that lifelike graphics are the most significant in the games dose not necessarily means that players would purchase more games of such kind of. The arguer has said that people aged 10 to 25 are most likely to play video games and the lifelike graphics require the most up-to-date computers. It is entirely possible that players aged 10 to 25 cannot earn enough money to afford the most up-to-date computers so they are able to play such kind of games even they place lifelike graphics in the first among the game features. Due to the fact mentioned above, the assumption that sales of those video games would be augment may be totally ungrounded.

In the third place, the arguer does not recognize the truth causes that contribute to the declination of the whirlwind sales during past two years. On the one hand, maybe the industry of video games is in depression. It is likely that hand-in playing computer has been invited which attract most of the computer players and make the substitution of the formal computer games that lead to the decline of all games, no matter what kind of features the games have. On the other hand, probably it is the high price or the bad sale service other than the feature of the games that result in the reduction of the sales. It is equally possible that in the recent market, many companies have already introduced lifelike graphic games, making the competition severely. Customs may choose games produced by other companies with lower price or with additional significant features but not games of Whirlwind. Even the lifelike graphic games will truly popular, the sales of Whirlwind games will not accordingly increase. Without ruling out those possibilities, simply drawing conclusion that the sales of lifelike graphic video games will increase would be not persuasive.（这段分析的不错，赞一个）

In conclusion, the article about increasing of Whirlwind sales is inconvincible as it stands. To substantiate it, the arguer should provide detail（detailed） information about the survey and guarantee that players emphasize lifelike graphic games will definitely purchase them. To better estimate the article, we should get additional information about the market situation and the real factors that make the sales decline.（结尾不错）

总体感觉这篇文章写的不错，argument需要很强的逻辑能力和分析能力，继续努力啊，坚持就是胜利。