ISSUE130 社会类问题 3月高频 欢迎互拍

cavanaUID: 2178782

TOPIC: ISSUE 130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
WORDS: 516          TIME: 0:45:00          DATE: 2006-2-23

The speaker' claim is based on dual assert. The first one, how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society, in my view, overstates the importance of the socialization in the children education and its affection to the society. The second, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help a better society, ignores the success of the moguls who contribute the society a lot.

It is true that the socialization may affect the character and future career of children. People begin to learn how to communicate with others and fit themselves for the society when their childhood. The education to children should also include the knowledge about the communications, how to be accept by others, and how to purchase or cooperate with others. People who are good socialized will more easily to be with, and most of them are likely to lead a splendid life and contribute a lot to the society.

However, the socialization is just one part of the education. People who can to be useful persons have to acquire more skills and knowledge besides the good socialization. The development of society needs respective talented people, and they are wanted to do various different jobs. So people have to mask the ability to accomplish the mission in their realms. The society needs some people to do research and develop new technologies, some people to become politicians and establish great policy to the government and the nation, or even the world, some of people to own the good method and sufficient knowledge to educate the next generation. When we are children,  we begin to accept the education in devise field until we enter into the society. We have to spend tens of years on the professional knowledge and skills, because it is chief that these knowledge and skills determines how the contribution we provide to the society. The destiny of society are not only determines by the extent of people' socialization, but also and even more determines by the extent of their knowledge.

More over, the speaker are so pessimistic that he denies all the progress and contribution human have made to the society. Millions of years, human have done the same thing-- be educated and contribute the society. That' why our life in modern society are acute different from the primeval society. The evidence to prove that is obvious. For example, from the observation of history, people have experienced many horrible disease which would lead to dead without any method to hold back , but today people have safe and efficient ways to deal with these disease. There are also many great artists, politicians, scientists, educators, architects and musicians in our society who are always working for a better society. Besides, normal people who have some skills and can be equal to some job, are also contribute our society.

In sum, to raise talented people to contribute and bring a better society, people needs the education of nature science, social science and good socialization. And people have already have form a progressing avenues to cultivate children to become such useful people.

savagettUID: 2134686

The speaker' claim is based on dual assert. The first one, how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society, in my view, overstates the importance of the socialization in the children education and its affection to the society. The second, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help a better society, ignores the success of the moguls(这个是我不认识，查了一下是很口语的词，可以用么) who contribute the society a lot.
position 否定了两个观点

It is true that the socialization may affect the character and future career of children. People begin to learn how to communicate with others and fit themselves for the society when their childhood（恩。。。）. The education to children should also include the knowledge about the communications, how to be accept被动 by others, and how to purchase（赢得他人？） or cooperate with others. People who are good （well socialized will more easily to be with, and most of them are likely to lead a splendid life and contribute a lot to the society.
社会化的重要性

However, the socialization is just one part of the education（我觉得，教育应该是社会的一个过程吧，这个包含关系有待讨论）. People who can to be useful persons have to acquire more skills and knowledge besides the good socialization. The development of society needs respective talented people, and they are wanted to do various different jobs. So people have to mask the ability to accomplish the mission in their realms. The society needs some people to do research and develop new technologies, some people to become politicians and establish great policy to the government and the nation, or even the world, some of people to own the good method and sufficient knowledge to educate the next generation. When we are children,  we begin to accept the education in devise field until we enter into the society. We have to spend tens of years on the professional knowledge and skills, because it is chief that these knowledge and skills determines how the contribution we provide to the society. The destiny of society are not only determines被动 by the extent of people' socialization, but also and even more determines by the extent of their knowledge.
社会化不是决定作用的,决定作用的是教育...
我觉得,可以说社会花不是决定作用的,因为还有教育还有许多其他因素共同的作用才能决定社会的未来

More over, the speaker are so pessimistic that he denies all the progress and contribution human have made to the society. Millions of years, human have done the same thing-- be educated and contribute the society. That' why our life in modern society are acute different from the primeval society. The evidence to prove that is obvious. For example, from the observation of history, people have experienced many horrible disease which would lead to dead without any method to hold back , but today people have safe and efficient ways to deal with these disease. There are also many great artists, politicians, scientists, educators, architects and musicians in our society who are always working for a better society. Besides, normal people who have some skills and can be equal to some job, are also contribute our society.
否定了better society没有到来一说

In sum, to raise talented people to contribute and bring a better society, people needs the education of nature science, social science and good socialization. And people have already have form a progressing avenues to cultivate children to become such useful people.

我猜,你有受北美范文的影响吧.
这篇我也写了,但是写完了自己也没办法说服自己,所以跑来看看大家的.
果然比较难写...
说的不对的地方,尽管说~!

forget56UID: 2137078

The speaker' claim is based on dual assert（好强，我写的时候意识到这点，但想了好半天都没想到一个好的切入点，现在发现直接指出来或许更好）. The first one, how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society, in my view, overstates the importance of the socialization in the children education and its affection to the society. The second, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help a better society, ignores the success of the moguls who contribute the society a lot.（开头这样只是指出作者论断的不合理之处好不好？感觉一般都会均衡一下，不然就更像是一篇argue的开头了）

It is true that the socialization may affect the character and future career of children. People begin to learn how to communicate with others and fit themselves for the society when（during） their childhood. The education to children should also include(includes) the knowledge about the communications, how to be accept(accepted) by others, and how to purchase or cooperate with others. People who are good socialized will more easily to be with, and most of them are likely to lead a splendid life and contribute a lot to the society.

However, the socialization is just one part of the education. People who can to be useful persons have to acquire more skills and knowledge besides the good socialization. The development of society needs respective talented people, and they are wanted to do various different jobs. So people have to mask the ability to accomplish the mission in their realms. The society needs some people to do research and develop new technologies, some people to become politicians and establish great policy to the government and the nation, or even the world, some of people to own the good method and sufficient knowledge to educate the next generation. When we are children,  we begin to accept the education in devise field until we enter into the society. We have to spend tens of years on the professional knowledge and skills, because it is chief that these knowledge and skills determines how the contribution we provide to the society. The destiny of society are not only determines(determined) by the extent of people' socialization, but also and even more determines（determined） by the extent of their knowledge.

Moreover, the speaker are so pessimistic that he denies all the progress and contribution human have made to the society. Millions of years, human have done the same thing-- be educated and contribute the society. That' why our life in modern society are acute different from the primeval society. The evidence to prove that is obvious. For example, from the observation of history, people have experienced many horrible disease which would lead to dead without any method to hold back , but today people have safe and efficient ways to deal with these disease. There are also many great artists, politicians, scientists, educators, architects and musicians in our society who are always working for a better society. Besides, normal people who have some skills and can be equal to some job, are also contribute our society.

In sum, to raise talented people to contribute and bring a better society, people needs the education of nature science, social science and good socialization. And people have already have form a progressing avenues to cultivate children to become such useful people.

算是飘过顺手改一下吧，最近已经被折磨得不成人形了。看了好几篇你限时的作文，自己也有信心多了，因为看到了一个逐渐进步的轨迹，希望自己也能快些像你这样啊！
ps:被动语态中的动词注意一下要用过去时，限时写的时候别忘了这个，加油！！！！