argument38-2月27日作业-phoenix队

fishyaoUID: 2119100

题目：ARGUMENT 38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
字数：390          用时：0:30:00          日期：2006-2-27

Giving some facts and some analyses, the arguer alleges a relationship between eating fish and preventing colds--which is blamed as the main cause for absences from school and work. According to the arguer, lchthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, is a good choice to prevent colds so that to avoid lover absenteeism. Although the argument seems credible on the surface, closer examination will reveal the hidden flaws as follows in his/her reasoning.

First of all, the arguer unfairly commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. No information or evidence has been provided in order to support the conclusion that getting cold, one of the cause of leaving job or school, is the most frequently given for absences from school and work. Accurately, the arguer fails to consider and rule out plenty of alternative possibilities which will also lead to absent from work. For instance, a person unexpectedly gets stomach-ache; a student has to participate a practicing process; an office lady has to meet her lover coming for abroad. Unless the alternative causes have been carefully considered and compared with together with getting cold, we can hardly be assured by the arguer that getting cold is the main cause of them.

Secondly, even getting cold has been unquestionable proved to be the main cause of absences, it is too early to make a assertion that eating fish can prevent colds. This assertion is based on a doubtful study reports. No details and information has been mentioned about who made the study and how it was carried out. As we all known, a study carried out by a small medicine company, in some extent, is analogy to an advertisement rather than a serious research report. And the study made by world famous Medical Research Center such as Medicine School of Harvard is more credible than the one from the company mentioned above. Thus, it is obviously that we need more details so that we can evaluate the reliability of this report.

In addition, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year does not follow the conclusion that they nearly never get colds in the whole year. If we consider the high price of the treatment in USA, even decuple than other countries in Asia such as China, we can commentate this phenomena in another direction--citizens prevent to visit doctor for the purpose of saving money even they get colds. They may ture to some kind of cheep medicine which can be easily attained  in any Medicine Supermarket. So, the arguer has to provide more reliable proves for assuring us the relationship between eating fish and the relatively less number of ailing persons in the study.

Furthermore, even though eating fish is able to prevent getting cold, I still perplexed about the arguer's recommending of the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil. Is using Ichthaid equal to eating fresh fish? I wondered. It is widely known the producing process will reduce enormous nutrition of fresh source such as fish and vegetables, thus, it is hardly to prove the useful parts in fish for counteracting getting colds will be remained, even not totally. If the producing process of Ichthail lost large part of effective ones, then using Ichthail seems meaningless for the purpose of resisting colds.

For what discussed above, the evidence provided does not lead to the conclusion. To strength the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the studies and the survey.

( 补到593， 多用了10min)

wfzyUID: 2134400

一会回来再学习一下你的习作！有空的话能不能帮我看看？

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... e%3D1#pid1768186896

[ 本帖最后由 wfzy 于 2006-2-27 22:24 编辑 ]

wfzyUID: 2134400

题目：ARGUMENT 38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
字数：390          用时：0:30:00          日期：2006-2-27

Giving some facts and some analyses, the arguer alleges a relationship between eating fish and preventing colds--which is blamed as the main cause for absences from school and work. According to the arguer, lchthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, is a good choice to prevent colds so that to avoid lover absenteeism. Although the argument seems credible on the surface, closer examination will reveal the hidden flaws as follows in his/her reasoning.

First of all, the arguer unfairly commits a fallacy of hasty generalization[我觉得这个TS太空了，具体点好  ]. No information or evidence has been provided in order to support the conclusion that getting cold, one of the cause of leaving job or school, [ which ]is the most frequently given for absences from school and work. Accurately, the arguer fails to consider and rule out plenty of alternative possibilities which will also lead to absent from work. For instance, a person unexpectedly gets stomach-ache; a student has to participate a practicing process; an office lady has to meet her lover coming for abroad[ argment里面已经说了colds是most frequently given for absences from school and work，我觉得是不是说这只是借口好一点？]. Unless the alternative causes have been carefully considered and compared with together with getting cold, we can hardly be assured by the arguer that getting cold is the main cause of them.

Secondly, even getting cold has been unquestionable proved to be the main cause of absences, it is too early to make a assertion that eating fish can prevent colds. This assertion is based on a doubtful study reports. No details and information has been mentioned about who made the study and how it was carried out. As we all known, a study carried out by a small medicine company, in some extent, is analogy to an advertisement rather than a serious research report. And the study made by world famous Medical Research Center such as Medicine School of Harvard is more credible than the one from the company mentioned above. Thus, it is obviously that we need more details so that we can evaluate the reliability of this report.

In addition, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year does not follow the conclusion that they nearly never get colds in the whole year. If we consider the high price of the treatment in USA, even decuple than other countries in Asia such as China, we can commentate this phenomena in another direction--citizens prevent to visit doctor for the purpose of saving money even they get colds. They may [ ture to，resort to ] some kind of cheep[ cheap ] medicine which can be easily attained  in any Medicine Supermarket. So, the arguer has to provide more reliable proves for assuring us the relationship between eating fish and the relatively less number of ailing persons in the study.

Furthermore, even though eating fish is able to prevent getting cold, I still perplexed about the arguer's recommending of the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil. Is using Ichthaid equal to eating fresh fish? I wondered. It is widely known [that]the producing process will reduce enormous nutrition of fresh source[s  ] such as fish and vegetables, thus, it is hardly to prove the useful parts in fish for counteracting getting colds[  will be remained, even not totally. 有毛病，而且也不是不能证明，检测啊！只是可能， it might be possible that the useful parts in fish for counteracting colds has been diminished or even destroried totally]If the producing process of Ichthail lost large part of effective ones, then using Ichthail seems meaningless for the purpose of resisting colds.

For what discussed above, the evidence provided does not lead to the conclusion. To strength [ en ]the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the studies and the survey.

[ 毛病很少了，主要是拼写和语法的问题。还是限时写的，真的不错啊！5分应该没有问题了。 ]

angelstarUID: 2162799

题目：ARGUMENT 38 - The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

"An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Clearly, eating a substantial amount of fish can prevent colds. Since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, we recommend the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism."
字数：390          用时：0:30:00          日期：2006-2-27

Giving some facts and some analyses, the arguer alleges a relationship between eating fish and preventing colds--which is blamed as the main cause for absences from school and work. [开头句写的不错哦！]According to the arguer, lchthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil, is a good choice to prevent colds so that to avoid lover[还可以这么用？] absenteeism. Although the argument seems credible on the surface[表示抽象意义的”表面上”用apparently是不是更合适？], closer examination will reveal the hidden flaws as follows in his/her reasoning.

First of all, the arguer unfairly commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. No information or evidence has been provided in order to[在过去时态中in order to用着似乎不太合适吧？to 就可以] support the conclusion that getting cold, one of the cause of leaving job or school, is the most frequently given for absences from school and work. Accurately[Actually],the arguer fails to consider and rule out[不错！我总想不起来用] plenty of alternative possibilities which will also lead to absent from work. For instance, a person unexpectedly gets stomach-ache; a student has to participate a practicing process; an office lady has to meet her lover coming for[from] abroad[What an excellent imagination!!]. Unless the alternative causes have been carefully considered and compared with together with getting cold, we can hardly be assured by the arguer that getting cold is the main cause of them. [论证清晰，很有说服力]

Secondly, even getting cold has been unquestionable proved to be the main cause of absences, it is too early to make a assertion that eating fish can prevent colds. This assertion is based on a doubtful study reports. No details and information has been mentioned about who made the study and how it was carried out. As we all known, a study carried out by a small medicine company, in some extent, is analogy to an advertisement rather than a serious research report. And the study made by world famous Medical Research Center such as Medicine School of Harvard is more credible than the one from the company mentioned above. Thus, it is obviously that we need more details so that we can evaluate the reliability of this report.

In addition, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year does not follow[用的不错] the conclusion that they nearly never get colds in the whole year. If we consider the high price of the treatment in[the] USA, even decuple than other countries in Asia such as China, we can commentate this phenomena in another direction--citizens prevent to visit doctor for the purpose of saving money even they get colds. They may ture[turn] to some kind of cheep[cheap] medicine which can be easily attained  in any Medicine Supermarket. So, the arguer has to provide more reliable proves for assuring us the relationship between eating fish and the relatively less number of ailing persons in the study.

Furthermore, even though eating fish is able to prevent getting cold, I still perplexed about the arguer's recommending of the daily use of Ichthaid, a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil. Is using Ichthaid equal to eating fresh fish? I wondered. It is widely known the producing process will reduce enormous nutrition of fresh source such as fish and vegetables, thus, it is hardly to prove the useful parts in fish for counteracting getting colds will be remained, even not totally. If the producing process of Ichthail lost large part of effective ones, then using Ichthail seems meaningless for the purpose of resisting colds.[逻辑很清楚！]

For what discussed above, the evidence provided does not lead to the conclusion. To strength the argument, the arguer would have to provide more evidence. To better evaluate the argument, we would need more information about the studies and the survey.

怎么看都多于390字啊！限时写成这样非常不错了！怀着敬佩的心情狠狠地找错——没什么大问题，呵呵！Well done and coe on, fish!

[ 本帖最后由 angelstar 于 2006-2-28 08:55 编辑 ]

fishyaoUID: 2119100

呵呵,的确是这样的,这篇一共592字,30分钟没写完,补了10分钟才写好的. 还要加油啊