issue36 留链接必回拍

shuimuyingUID: 201044

36.The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

   Is the greatness of individuals only decided by those living after them, as the statement contends? I agree with the claim insofar as that people who live after those previous individuals can have a more comprehensive understanding about them, as a result, may give a comparative objective evaluation on them. However, some disadvantages following generations have render their comments less persuasive.

Admittedly, if based on sufficient evidences, the young generations may give a more impersonal (impartial) remark on the people before them. Consider that the contemporaries are quite likely to give an unfairly remark on somebody for his own interests (benefit, profit) or to satisfy somebody else’s demand. For example, a biographer who works for an aristocrat will probably exalt his master to the sky in the biography to make him happy. The writer, in turn, is likely to be promoted or to get plentiful treasures which can be provided by the aristocrat. Or perhaps it is just the leader’s gratuitous obtrusion that compels the writer to over praise his/her contribution, and to conceal brutal behaviors he has ever done. These cases are not rare in history.

People who live after them, on the contrary, may face little these things for there are relatively rare interests relationship between the critic and the people who live in the past. In this sense, given     sufficient information about the past people, the future generation will give a more objective and, meanwhile, accurate (precise) explanation though careful investigation.

Moreover, for a myriad of things, time is necessary to testify their rightness. Taking this factor into consideration, we will find the merits people living after them have. For example, one government man(governor) carry out an long-term economical program, which cannot manifest its effect, until this program run for a sufficiently long time, perhaps a hundred years. Whereas the contemporaries cannot even live long enough to see the result. Only people who live after him can experience the effect it brings about, and give an objective commend on the person who carry it out..

Although the people who live after the previous people in deed have some advantages over the contemporaries, we cannot then ignore the functions contemporary people have on evaluating the greatness of people. After all, the later people also have their shortcomings (defects) in certain situations. For example, the later ones can never pick up all the information about the previous people, therefore, evidences their commends base on can never be more detailed (specific) than that the contemporaries depend on. In common sense, the longer the later people live after the people evaluated, the less information they can get. And at most times, without sufficient evidences, who can ensure the rightness of their evaluation?  

Furthermore, the societies different generations live in may have utterly different cultures which can only be precisely understood by contemporaries. When later people try to make an commend on the greatness of people who live long time ago, it is very difficult for them to fully break away from their own value concept. Under this situation, the later critics’ commend would appear unpersuasive and sometimes are wrongly interpreted.

In conclusion, whether the greatness of people can be decided by the contemporaries or the later critics is actually an without-answer question. Both of them have self (ego) advantages, and as well flaws, on this issue. Which they both can do is trying their best to collect as much information and provide people a relatively objective commend on the matter.

本文第二三段论述后来人的优点，四五段论述当代人的优点。最后总结全文
谢谢

shashafeng33UID: 174358

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shashafeng33UID: 174358

issue36 留链接必回拍

36.The greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.

   Is the greatness of individuals only decided by those living after them, as the statement contends? I agree with the claim insofar as that people who live after those previous individuals can have a more comprehensive understanding about them, as a result, may give a comparative objective evaluation on them. However, some disadvantages following generations have render their comments less persuasive.开头回应主题很好

Admittedly,BODY1开头就用这个词不合适 if based on sufficient evidences, the young generations may give a more impersonal (impartial) remark on the people before them. Consider that the contemporaries are quite likely to give an unfairly remark on somebody for his own interests (benefit, profit) or to satisfy somebody else’s demand. For example, a biographer who works for an aristocrat will probably exalt his master to the sky in the biography to make him happy. The writer, in turn, is likely to be promoted or to get plentiful treasures which can be provided by the aristocrat. Or perhaps it is just the leader’s gratuitous obtrusion that compels the writer to over praise his/her contribution, and to conceal brutal behaviors he has ever done. These cases are not rare in history.这段写得很好,就是段内句子之间如果加上连接词会显得段内逻辑跟紧密.
People who live after them, on the contrary, may face little these things 换个词for there are relatively rare interests relationship between the critic and the people who live in the past. In this sense, given     sufficient information about the past people, the future generation will give a more objective and, meanwhile, accurate (precise) explanation though careful investigation.这段可以再展开一点

Moreover, for a myriad of things, time is necessary to testify their rightness. Taking this factor into consideration, we will find the merits people living after them have. For example, one government man(governor) carry out an long-term economical program, which cannot manifest its effect, until this program run for a sufficiently long time, perhaps a hundred years. Whereas the contemporaries cannot even live long enough to see the result. Only people who live after him can experience the effect it brings about, and give an objective commend on the person who carry it out..好象这段第一句不是这段主题?

Although the people who live after the previous people in deed have some advantages over the contemporaries, we cannot then ignore the functions contemporary people have on evaluating the greatness of people. After all, the later people also have their shortcomings (defects) in certain situations. For example, the later ones can never pick up all the information about the previous people, therefore, evidences their commends base on can never be more detailed (specific) than that the contemporaries depend on. In common sense, the longer the later people live after the people evaluated, the less information they can get. And at most times, without sufficient evidences, who can ensure the rightness of their evaluation?  FOR EXAMPLE 后面的不象例子象说理

Furthermore, the societies different generations live in may have utterly different cultures which can only be precisely understood by contemporaries. When later people try to make an commend on the greatness of people who live long time ago, it is very difficult for them to fully break away from their own value concept. Under this situation, the later critics’ commend would appear unpersuasive and sometimes are wrongly interpreted.这段加一个事例会好些

In conclusion, whether the greatness of people can be decided by the contemporaries or the later critics is actually an without-answer question. Both of them have self (ego) advantages, and as well flaws, on this issue. Which they both can do is trying their best to collect as much information and provide people a relatively objective commend on the matter.持中立观点的文章的结尾要回应全面,
本文第二三段论述后来人的优点，四五段论述当代人的优点。最后总结全文
谢谢  Sample Text

文章写得很不错啊!
正-反-正-反的结构让人想到ETS著名的那篇6分范文,专家和通才的那个,可以说结构很好.
持中立观点的文章的结尾要回应全面,这点LZ做的也很好.
只是有一点没太看明白,body1,body2是一正一反,后两段同样,那么着两大块之间是个什么关系,并列OR递进?
用词很丰富,向你学习!

[ 本帖最后由 shashafeng33 于 2006-3-10 15:53 编辑 ]