argument6 同主题 期待互拍(挥手帕ing)

北回归线UID: 2130044

In this argument, although showing several facts and statistics, the arguer's assumption that  jazz is extremely popular in Monroe(M for short) is still not convincing. And a jazz music club  in M would be a tremendously profitable enterprise, which is all the arguer's imagination.

Firstly, the arguer mentions that over 100,000 people attended M's jazz festival last summer.  However, in the absence of some other detailed statistics, it is hard to know how many of the  100,000 people are from local M. Perhaps it is only a very small part of these people live in M.  The number of people who attended the jazz festival does not indicate jazz is widely  loved by  
the M, so does the well-known jazz musician's dwelling. Their living in M may possibly attribute  to many other reasons, such as the scenery nearby, or the convenient transportation. It may be  totally irrelevant to the popularity or not in this place.

Secondly, even if jazz music is popular in M, whether a jazz club would make a great fortune is  still open to doubt. As we all notice that, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. We may  wonder why it is so far away from this jazz-loved city.  Most possibly, the answer may be there  is not any market in bringing in such a jazz club. It is probably that the people in M who love  jazz music
only tend to listen to or play it at home, by themselves, or share it with some friends  privately. They do not like going to jazz clubs, dancing, nor listening the live jazz band  playing. Thus, maybe it is the reason that they made the radio program "Jazz Night" so high- rated.

Thirdly, given that the proposed club would have the local market all to itself, it also cannot  give sufficient support to the position that the club would be tremendously profitable. The  arguer overlooks many factors that a successful enterprise need to concern. For example, the  management of the business, the art of promoting, the DJ they hire, even the attraction of  decoration.

In addition, according to this argument, the study indicating that the typical jazz fan spends  close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment is nationwide, which may not be suitable for a  particular city, such as M. The group of developers would not attain the profits as expected if  the majority of local people are not so-called "typical" jazz fans, or they hold the concept  that there always are many more urgent businesses to pay for, other than jazz entertainment.

To sum up, the arguer fails to convince us that jazz is extremely popular in M, and he also  makes a hasty generalization that the developers would definitely earn lots of money from a jazz  club. To strengthen this argument, the arguer would have to provide much more sufficient  evidence to show among the people in M, there exist the passion towards jazz and jazz club, and  the abilities of the manager for running the enterprise well.

[ 本帖最后由 北回归线 于 2006-3-20 14:50 编辑 ]

WeOnUID: 2110447

In this argument, although showing several facts and statistics, the arguer's assumption that  jazz is extremely popular in Monroe(M for short) is still not convincing. And a jazz music club  in M would be a tremendously profitable enterprise, which is all the arguer's imagination.

Firstly, the arguer mentioned mentions that over 100,000 people attended M's jazz festival last summer.  However, ion in the absence of some other detailed statistics, it is hard to know how many of the  100,000 people are from local M. Perhaps it is only a very small part of these people live in M.  The number of people who attended the jazz festival does not indicate jazz is widely  loved by the M, so does the well-known jazz musician's dwelling. Their living in M may possibly attribute  to many other reasons, such as the scenery nearby, or the convenient transportation. It may be  totally irrelevant to the popularity or not in this place. 漏了一个午夜节目的论据～

Secondly, even if jazz music is popular in M, whether a jazz club would make a great fortune is  still open to doubt. As we all notice that, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away. We may  wonder why it is so far away from this jazz-loved city.  Most possibly, the answer may be there  is not any market in bringing in such a jazz club. It is probably that the people in M who love  jazz music
only tend to listen to or play it at home, by themselves, or share it with some friends  privately. They do not like going to jazz clubs, dancing, nor listening the live jazz band  playing. Thus, maybe it is the reason that they made the radio program "Jazz Night" so high- rated.

Thirdly, given that the proposed club would have the local market all to itself, it also cannot  give sufficient support to the position that the club would be tremendously profitable. The  arguer overlooks many factors that a successful enterprise need to concern. For example, the  management of the business, the art of promoting, the DJ they hire, and even the attraction of  decoration.

In addition, according to this argument, the study indicates indicating that the typical jazz fan spends  close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment is nationwide, which may not be suitable for a  particular city, such as M. The group of developers would not attain the profits as expected if  the majority of local people are not so-called "typical" jazz fans, or they hold the concept  that there always be are many more urgent business to pay for, other than jazz entertainment.

To sum up, the arguer fails to convince us that jazz is extremely popular in M, and he also  makes a hasty generalization that the developers would definitely earn lots of money from a jazz  club. To strengthen this argument, the arguer would have to provide much more sufficient  evidence to show during 什么意思？the people in M, there exist exists the passion towards jazz and jazz club, and 感觉and后面的和show离的太远了，考虑换个说法吧 the abilities of the manager for running the enterprise well.

不知道是你写的第几篇了，我觉得很不错，结构很清晰，模板的痕迹非常少，赞哪！
论证方法可以多用一些，感觉普遍都是举它因，可以用用反问，对比什么的

小北当然记得了，当初就是读了你的文章之后很有启发的～～
不过一直纳闷，怎么过了这么久才在aw版里看到你呢？这段时间忙什么呢？
我的那篇argu6是半个月前写的了，大概是第二篇吧，毛病的确很多，有些毛病是现在也没有改掉的。语言贫乏，没有思想性，是我现在对自己作文的评价了～ 眼看还有几天就考了，心中纵有万般焦虑也枉然～ sigh～

[ 本帖最后由 WeOn 于 2006-3-19 20:32 编辑 ]