Issue144 G版报到第一篇，请大家多多指教

夜一UID: 2130338

上午刚刚去报了10月的G，预想是7月20号左右考作文，当然结果要三天后才知道了
然后开始研读追星箭特训，刚读完第一节，关键词，于是决定试笔一篇，issue144，请大家多多指教，谢谢
我去年10月考过一次G了，不过考的巨烂无比，考作文前更加是自以为是，直到考试前十天，头一次来到寄托，才大吃一惊，跟自己想的完全不一样
这次的G只许成功不许失败了，于是前天考完T就决定马上到G版来报到了，请大家多多关照，寄托是个非常好的地方，这次一定可以成功的：）
另外也顺便看看有没有跟我差不多时间考作文的朋友，如果不嫌弃的话我们组成学习小组可以么？


Issue144  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：84分57秒     301 words
从2006年4月15日10时14分到2006年4月15日11时84分
------题目------
It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
------正文------
The statement asserts that it is the artist, a person who creates works of art, such as novels, films, music, and paintings, rather than the critic, a person who evaluates these works, who gives society something of lasting value. This point of view sounds reasonable, for artistic works are originated by artists, not critics. However, throughout the long history of art, something of lasting value, the aesthetic, is established not only by artists, but also by critics.

Undoubtedly, the creators of novels, films, music, and paintings, have given these works their invariable physical value since they are completed. This kind of value is only determined by artistic works themselves, no matter how their works are evaluated by others. Admittedly, critics can neither add the value of an existing artistic work, nor reduce it.

Nevertheless, besides artists, critics also involve in the evolvement of aesthetic, and through this sort of process, they have offered and are offering society something of lasting value, that is, the development of art itself.

First of all, critics contribute to the popularity of art, which make aesthetic thrive.  Artists give born to their works, but at many times, restricted by fame, finance, or transportation, they are not able to spread their passions and understandings. Critics examine novels, films, music, and paintings created by artists, study their thoughts and methods, and explain these works to ordinary people. Instead of leaving these works unknown, critics carry them to the vast majority of society, introduce the beauty of art to residents and citizens, attract people's attention and appreciation, and encourage them to try something in this field, such as writing novels, constructing films, composing music, or drawing paintings. Although it is the durable value produced by artists that gives people impression and thus increases creating activities, this kind of impression is not available without critics' efforts. Critics make artistic activities popular, create artistic enthusiasm, and influence later art development, which is something of lasting value in human society.

Besides, critics' activities can cause artistic revolutions and innovations, which are regarded as remarkable events in art's evolvement. Either correct or misleading feedbacks provided by critics have noticeable effects, by virtue of their reputations, financial positions, and social communicating abilities. They imply social tendencies, recommend effective expressions, which drew artists' attention and affect their activities. As a result, writers may modify their developing novels, directors may change their original characters, musicians may vary their composing styles, and painters may attempt new drawing methods.  Accumulating effects as the time goes by, these changes eventually make art different form era to era. Without critics, the evolvement of art is unlikely to become so quickly and significantly. This form of additional aesthetical development is reached by critics, admittedly, with artists' interactions.

In conclusion, though critics are not able to change the physical value of a finished artistic work, they also provide society of something of lasting value, that is, the development of aesthetics. They introduce novels, films, music, and paintings to ordinary people, make art popular, and enhance artistic activities. They offer artists feedbacks, influence their future works, and contribute to artistic revolutions and innovations. Thanks to critics, art obtains broader space and more possibilities, which play an important role in aesthetical evolvement.

总共539个字，大大超时，不过好歹是第一篇，今后勤加练习，一定可以提高的：）
拜托大家了，bow

[ 本帖最后由 夜一 于 2006-5-15 21:44 编辑 ]

11yaoyaoUID: 177037

发贴格式不对，请参考置顶NEEDLE斑斑的帖子改一下
谢谢合作

夜一UID: 2130338

啊，非常对不起，马上改好

xmy0523UID: 205186

The statement asserts that it is the artist, a person who creates works of art, such as novels, films, music, and paintings, rather than the critic, a person who evaluates these works, who gives society something of lasting value. This point of view sounds reasonable, for artistic works are originated by artists, not critics. However, throughout the long history of art, something of lasting value, the aesthetic, is established not only by artists, but also by critics.写的不错

Undoubtedly, the creators of novels, films, music, and paintings, have given these works their invariable physical value since they are completed. This kind of value is only determined by artistic works themselves, no matter how their works are evaluated by others. Admittedly, critics can neither add the value of an existing artistic work, nor reduce it.

Nevertheless, besides artists, critics also involve in the evolvement of aesthetic, and through this sort of process, they have offered and are offering society something of lasting value, that is, the development of art itself.

First of all, critics contribute to the popularity of art, which make aesthetic thrive.  Artists give born to their works, but at many times, restricted by fame, finance, or transportation, they are not able to spread their passions and understandings. Critics examine novels, films, music, and paintings created by artists, study their thoughts and methods, and explain these works to ordinary people. Instead of leaving these works unknown, critics carry them to the vast majority of society, introduce the beauty of art to residents and citizens, attract people's attention and appreciation, and encourage them to try something in this field, such as writing novels, constructing films, composing music, or drawing paintings. Although it is the durable value produced by artists that gives people impression and thus increases creating activities, this kind of impression is not available without critics' efforts. Critics make artistic activities popular, create artistic enthusiasm, and influence later art development, which is something of lasting value in human society.

Besides, critics' activities can cause artistic revolutions and innovations, which are regarded as remarkable events in art's evolvement. Either correct or misleading feedbacks provided by critics have noticeable effects, by virtue of their reputations, financial positions, and social communicating abilities. They imply social tendencies, recommend effective expressions, which drew artists' attention and affect their activities. As a result, writers may modify their developing novels, directors may change their original characters, musicians may vary their composing styles, and painters may attempt new drawing methods.  Accumulating effects as the time goes by, these changes eventually make art different form era to era. Without critics, the evolvement of art is unlikely to become so quickly and significantly. This form of additional aesthetical development is reached by critics, admittedly, with artists' interactions.

In conclusion, though critics are not able to change the physical value of a finished artistic work, they also provide society of something of lasting value, that is, the development of aesthetics. They introduce novels, films, music, and paintings to ordinary people, make art popular, and enhance artistic activities. They offer artists feedbacks, influence their future works, and contribute to artistic revolutions and innovations. Thanks to critics, art obtains broader space and more possibilities, which play an important role in aesthetical evolvement.

看了一遍，觉得看范文一样，很好啊。要向你学习哦，逻辑很语言都很好。继续努力。我在海角天边小组里，你可以的话帮我看看作文啊。

夜一UID: 2130338

呵呵，谢谢楼上朋友的夸奖，不过我现在还差得远呢，首先是超时的问题
逻辑上的几乎都是得自于追星箭大人的特训的资料，真的是超级好的东西呢，强烈推荐~
原来你在海角天边小组里，我今天刚刚加入了FLY AW小组，有时间过来串串门阿~

penghandieUID: 2202148

我也想加入你们小组，请问怎么加阿？

penghandieUID: 2202148

It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value.
The statement asserts that it is the artist, a person who creates works of art, such as novels, films, music, and paintings, rather than the critic, a person who evaluates these works, who(这里改成that是不是要好点啊，否则太多who了)gives society something of lasting value. This point of view sounds reasonable, for artistic works are originated by artists, not critics. However, throughout the long history of art, something of lasting value, the aesthetic, is established not only by artists, but also by critics.

Undoubtedly, the creators of novels, films, music, and paintings, have given these works their invariable physical value since they are completed. This kind of value is only determined by artistic works themselves, no matter how their works are evaluated by others. Admittedly, critics can neither add the value of an existing artistic work, nor reduce it.

Nevertheless, besides artists, critics also involve in the evolvement of aesthetic, and through this sort of process, they have offered and are offering society something of lasting value, that is, the development of art itself.

First of all, critics contribute to the popularity of art, which make(makes) aesthetic thrive.  Artists give born（birth） to their works, but at many times, restricted by fame, finance, or transportation, they are not able to spread their passions and understandings. Critics examine novels, films, music, and paintings created by artists, study their thoughts and methods, and explain these works to ordinary people. Instead of leaving these works unknown, critics carry them to the vast majority of society, introduce the beauty of art to residents and citizens, attract people's attention and appreciation(attract appreciation?), and encourage them to try something in this field, such as writing novels, constructing films, composing music, or drawing paintings. Although it is the durable value produced by artists that gives people impression and thus increases creating activities, this kind of impression is not available without critics' efforts. Critics make artistic activities (“works” are better) popular, create artistic enthusiasm, and influence later art development, which is something of lasting value in human society.

Besides, critics' activities (what critics do) can cause artistic revolutions and innovations, which are regarded as remarkable events in art's evolvement (is this word suitable?). Either correct or misleading feedbacks provided by critics have noticeable effects, by virtue of their reputations, financial positions, and social communicating abilities. They imply social tendencies, recommend effective expressions, which drew artists' attention and affect (“have an influence on” is better) their activities. As a result, writers may modify their developing novels, directors may change their original characters, musicians may vary their composing styles, and painters may attempt new drawing methods.  Accumulating effects as the time goes by, these changes eventually make art different form era to era. Without critics, the evolvement of art is unlikely to become so quickly and significantly (quick and significant). This form of additional aesthetical development is reached by critics, admittedly, with artists' interactions.

In conclusion, though critics are not able to change the physical value of a finished artistic work, they also provide society of something of lasting value, that is, the development of aesthetics. They introduce novels, films, music, and paintings to ordinary people, make art popular, and enhance artistic activities. They offer artists feedbacks, influence their future works, and contribute to artistic revolutions and innovations. Thanks to critics, art obtains broader space and more possibilities, which play an important role in aesthetical evolvement.
几点建议，不要介意：
1.        something 这种单词好像用得太多，语言因此显得简单，缺乏GRE作文对词汇的要求。
2.        全文没有用例子，也没有引用等，论据缺乏多样化。
3.        句子长度不够，闪光句型、词汇也不多。

夜一UID: 2130338

谢谢楼上的朋友的建议
的确在用词和句型方面我还有很多的要学呢，竟然连birth都写成born，实在是汗颜阿。。
论据的多样化问题我也会努力的，谢谢阿：）

penghandieUID: 2202148

我想加入你们小组，请问如何加入？

夜一UID: 2130338

我发了短消息给你，收到了么？