Argument 140 义无返顾小组第九次作业

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

Argument 140
在Thomas教授作为植物学教授的17年里，她证明了自己确实是值50000元年薪的。她的班级是本校最大的班级之一，这说明她在学生中间的受欢迎度。而且，她给学校带来的研究捐助在过去两年中都超过了她的年薪。因此，鉴于Thomas教授已被证实的教学和研究能力，我们建议将她的年薪增加10000元，并提升为系主任；如果没有这些加薪和提升，我们担心Thomas教授将会离开Elm City大学到别的学校就职。

(1)        班级人数最多不能证明其教学能力的强弱；
(2)        给研究的捐助和科研能力没有直接的因果关系；
(3)        没有证据表明如果我们不增加她的薪水和职务，她会离职：首先，她在本校工作了17年，选择一个新环境会面临很大不便；其次，她刚刚捐助了本校研究，研究成果尚为转化，如果现在她离开，未来会有经济上的损失。
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In the argument the author proposed to raise Professor Thomas's annul salary and give her a promotion to Department Chairperson. To sustain his opinion, he claimed that Pro. Thomas demonstrated extraordinary teaching and research abilities by two factors: her class is one of the largest classes at the university; she had brought research funds to the university in the last two years. Reasonable as the proposal sounds, if we given close analysis, we will find some logical flaws in it.

The mere fact that Pro. Thomas has the largest class does not necessarily mean she is popular among students. The arguer fails to point out the reason why so many students choose her lesson. It is highly possible that her course is one of the compulsory courses for every freshmen. Or, it is also possible that the exams of the lesson are relatively easy to pass. If the assumptions discussed above are true, we can not justifiably agree with the conclusion that she had well teaching ability.

There is no causal relationship between the grants that can bring to the research and his or her researching ability. Obviously, the author overemphasized the role she had played in supporting the research, and resulted in a hasty generalization. If the arguer want to demonstrated Pro.Thomas's great research ability, he would better give us more solid information concerning about  how many papers she had published in her professional journalist, what's her recent research performance. Unless we acknowledge these evidence, can we assess the reliability of the assertion.

Last but not the lest, the conclusion is rested on a assumption that supposing the university doesn't offer Pro. Thomas a appealing salary and promotion, she would leave for another university for better welfare. Nevertheless, in light of the conditions cited in the argument, we have good reason to doubt whether she would take this action. On the one hand, she has been the botany professor in this university, accustomed to the surroundings here. It is somewhat inconvenience for her to begin her new life in another university, such as new colleagues, new disciplines. On the other hand, she just brought the grants to the research of this university, if she changed her job, maybe she wouldn’t lost some revenue when the research turn to practice and have benefits. Without ruling out these or other possibilities, the argument can't convince us to accept the conclusion in the end.

In sum, we can't deny that Pro. Thomas is an eligible teacher in her 17-year career life. When it comes to raising annual salary or promotion, we should carry on detailed research and have a more reasoning consideration. Absent these procedures, the decision will arise dissatisfaction from her peers.

Total Words: 451
Saving Time: 2006-5-22  下午 11:33:37

尝试限时写作，结果只写到一半就没时间了.最近小组的积极性不高，大家一定要坚持下去

yuviUID: 2169411

因为这个星期有两个成员都请假了,所以这次的互改顺序是:

yuvi--->kitty--->pk--->yuvi

还有这次的作业小结是由kitty来写的哈,~~提醒一下:)

大家还是要注意身体,加油加油~~~:)

yuviUID: 2169411

(1)        班级人数最多不能证明其教学能力的强弱；
(2)        给研究的捐助和科研能力没有直接的因果关系；
(3)        没有证据表明如果我们不增加她的薪水和职务，她会离职：首先，她在本校工作了17年，选择一个新环境会面临很大不便；其次，她刚刚捐助了本校研究，研究成果尚为转化，如果现在她离开，未来会有经济上的损失。
(前两个观点我完全同意，最后一个有一些审题的问题：第一作者只说了此教授有17年的植物学研究经验而没有说她在该校工作了17年啊~~第二，题目里说的是此教授为学校的研究课题拉到经费，不是表明她自己掏腰包来捐助学校~~)
呵呵，我动用了写argument的精神来拍kitty的作业，有说错的地方还请大家指正哈。：）===============================================

In the argument the author proposed to raise Professor Thomas's annul salary and give her a promotion to Department Chairperson. To sustain his opinion, he claimed that Pro. Thomas demonstrated extraordinary teaching and research abilities by two factors: her class is one of the largest classes at the university; she had brought research funds to the university in the last two years. Reasonable as the proposal sounds, if we given close analysis, we will find some logical flaws in it. （恩，我觉得单看你的开头觉得完全没有审题上的误差，但是提纲里的内容怎么大相径庭呢？）
The mere fact that Pro. Thomas has the largest class does not necessarily mean she is popular among students. The arguer fails to point out the reason why so many students choose her lesson. It is highly possible that her course is one of the compulsory courses for every freshmen. （这里跟我想的一样：P）Or, it is also possible that the exams of the lesson are relatively easy to pass. If the assumptions discussed above are true, we can not justifiably agree with the conclusion that she had well teaching ability.

There is no causal relationship between the grants that can bring to the research and his or her researching ability. Obviously, the author overemphasized the role she had played in supporting the research, and resulted in a hasty generalization. If the arguer want to demonstrated Pro.Thomas's great research ability, he would better give us more solid information concerning about  how many papers she had published in her professional journalist, what's her recent research performance.（这里首要的应是反驳题目的逻辑错误吧，我觉得建议的话放在最后一段就可以了。也许kitty可以换一个表达形式，感觉就不一样了） Unless we acknowledge these evidence, can we assess the reliability of the assertion.

Last but not the lest, the conclusion is rested on a assumption that supposing the university doesn't offer Pro. Thomas a appealing salary and promotion, she would leave for another university for better welfare.（题目里没有说她要走的原因是关于福利的） Nevertheless, in light of the conditions cited in the argument, we have good reason to doubt whether she would take this action. On the one hand, she has been the botany professor in this university, accustomed to the surroundings here. It is somewhat inconvenience for her to begin her new life in another university, such as new colleagues, new disciplines. On the other hand, she just brought the grants to the research of this university, if she changed her job, maybe she wouldn’t lost some revenue when the research turn to practice and have benefits. Without ruling out these or other possibilities, the argument can't convince us to accept the conclusion in the end.（呵呵，看来kitty的提纲和文章不是同一时间完成的吧？——至少不是按照提纲来写的文章吧？恩，单看这里没有什么审题上的误差，：）也许是因为提纲列的有点点疏忽。。）
In sum, we can't deny that Pro. Thomas is an eligible teacher in her 17-year career life. When it comes to raising annual salary or promotion, we should carry on detailed research and have a more reasoning consideration. Absent these procedures, the decision will arise dissatisfaction from her peers.

总结：

kitty写argument的语言风格已经形成了，不错。
要提醒一下第二个论点的展开如果建立在反驳文中逻辑错误上，可能要比在文章里给出建议要好一些：）~~~

还有,鼓励一下Kitty哈~~~我觉得和最开始比写argument的思路进步很多喔~~:)
我限时写argument也挺郁闷的,两次都是写了一半时间就没了~~~
感觉argument比issue要难在规定时间内写得出样子~~~(也可能是我前期整理思路耽误不少时间)
看来咱们还得多练练~:)^_^

yuviUID: 2169411

原帖由 jiqixueyuan 于 2006-5-23 13:08 发表
芹菜! 语法和结构我都帮你看了下,总结如下:
1.        结构方面已经基本上没什么问题，总体的写作结构还是把握住了
2.        语言方面感觉没有你写的ISSUE流畅,感觉这篇文章词语变化不是很大,可能是限时的缘故.
3.        语法方面,很庆幸,你已经有了很大的进步,至少跟我前几次看你的作文的时候相比好了很多,但是还是要的加强,特别是别人给你点出来的地方,要自己回去好好琢磨下，争取下次不要再犯同一种语法错误.
4.        加油,说到限制时间的问题，我觉得多限制几次就会好了，再一个就是自己找下原因,究竟是那方面的原因造成你限制时间不成功呢,不如说打字速度,构思等等,加油!@

超级感谢PK的仔细修改(特别是每个语法错误都给我改到了哈)~~感动ing..:)

语法我觉得自己现在最大的问题就是写完了也不知道哪里写错了(我只有在觉得该句子读的不通顺的时候才知道哪里错了,该改改了)
再一个就是早上本来就迟交了所以没有重新看完整就传上来了,呵呵.不然有些特别弱智的地方我应该可以检查出来的~~呵呵.
恩，有很多地方我还要再琢磨琢磨,为了语法在考场上被扣分真的太不划算了~~
可以掌握的事情我尽量做到不失误~~
限时现在真的成了我头疼的地方,可能下次思考迅速点,然后打字敲快点会强一些..
呵呵~~非常感谢PK的话~~:):)一起加油~~

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

呵呵，谢谢芹菜の点评，刚开始写argu时脑子里一片糊涂，不知道从哪里下手，现在有信心了。这周的总结我今晚交给大家。

kittywen_16UID: 2135347

The author concludes that Elm City University should increase the salary of professor Thomas who worked as a professor of botany by $1000 and promote she to be a Department Chairperson. In order to justify this, the author provides two reasons to supports his or her points of view. One is her classes are one of the largest【前后单复数不一致】 at university, the other is research grants she brought exceeded her salary in each of the last tow years. However, there are several logical flaws in these arguments, as follows.【however前最好加一个转折】

To begin with, she has【语法错误，应换成非谓语表达】 largest classes at university does not mean that she is  popular with students. It is possible that these classes are forced on【强迫，不好吧。应是必修课a required course或compulsory course 】 her by school ,and she has to go to impart her knowledge to【go to impart ?有这样表达的吗】 students as other teachers do. Furthermore, even if her classes are one of the largest【注意，这个错误在本文中犯了两次了！】, it is also likely that many students are so uninterested in her courses that they do not attend classes【即使她的班级是学校最大的班级之一，很可能许多学生对她的课程是如此不感兴趣以至于他们不去上课。翻译成中文就发现问题了吧】.  If so, having largest classes does not delegate【delegate做动词，代表常与to连用，委任；委派；指派…为代表，或托付；授权The people delegate their power to the Congress.人民授权予国会。最好改成suggest, demonstrate,是表明的意思】 her popularity among students.

In addition, no evidence shows that she has research abilities, although she brought research grants for university in each past two years. Firstly, whether research grants brought by professor Thomas will be increased or not in the the【笔误吧】 following years is unknown. If these grants does not raise in the following years【it isn’t the case】, professor Thomas maybe have no abilities to do research【这里自相矛盾了，前面说了带来研究资金不能说明她的研究能力，这里又说未来没有研究资金她就失去研究能力】. Secondly, the author does not offer that how much money professor Thomas had spent on researching and what results from her doing research were. So the possibility is not excluded that she has only a little research products or she often works as a assistant while doing researching【research】 with other professors. So perhaps her research abilities are much lower than other professors in Elm City University.【这里我也发挥批argu的精神来改pk文章，难道说她作为研究助手就缺乏研究能力吗？也许是合作项目，在某些部分由其他教授主导，这并不能说明她的研究能力薄弱】

Last but not least, even though Elm City University does not give an increase salary to her and promote her to Department Chairperson, 【not only, but also修改前半句会更流畅】it is probable that she will not leave  Elm City University for another schools. whether a teacher leaves a school depends on a lot of factors, such as the teacher's work conditions, the feelings to his or her school【university 和school的区别】, and so on, not only the salary【语法通吗？】. Moreover, the author does not provide 【sufficient】evidence to indicate that professor Thomas is dissatisfied with Elm City University, including salary and the conditions of job. So she might not be off for another universities.【单复数！】

In sum, the author obtains【draws】 hastily the conclusion from two reasons which have a lot of logical problems. However, the conclusion does not persuade me as it stands. So if this argument raise its convincement, the argument should provide sufficient evidence to support that students are really love her courses[/color]【这个可以省去，和后面有点重复】, she does have teaching and research abilities, and she will depart from Elm City University for a high salary and status of Department Chairperson.

总结：pk 的思路很清楚，攻击的有条理，语言简洁易懂。
有待改善之处：同样的错误在文章中多次出现，如果自己那不准，就尽量避免用同样的词语。句子结构方面还有一些问题，pk还要多练习。

glxingUID: 2156425

提纲：
1，人多不一定受欢迎
2，没有证明她的科研能力强
3，没有证明他会跳槽


TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 354          TIME: 0:30:00          DATE: 2006-6-2

In this report, the author suggests that Professor Thomas should be given more salary and promoted to Department Chairperson. To support his or her statement, the author gives several evidecs, however, close scrutiny of this report reveals that the author has made several mistakes.

Firstly, the author says that Professor Thomas's classes are among the largest at the university, however, this does not mean that Professor Thomas is popular among students. It is possible that the classes Professor Thomas teaches are all basic classes that every student is required to take part in. To demonstrate Professor Thomas's popularity, the author should make a scientific survey in those students who have taken her classes.

Secondly, the author fails to convince us that Professor Thomas's research ability is excellent. In the first place, the author does not tell us how about other professors. Do they all bring to the university in research grants less than $50,000? If not, the situation of Professor Thomas is not the best, then it is unfair to increase her salary rather than other's. In the second place, the author just say that the Professor Thomas's research grants exceeded her salary in the last two years. It is possible that in the past time she was far behind other professors. Just considering the recent situation is not enough to evaluate a profesor at all.

Thirdly, the increase in salary and promotion lacks credibility. The author worrys that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University if not taking such atctions. But this worry lacks reliability. It is possible Professor Thomas is satisfied with the condition and does not plan to leave for another college. Moreover, the promotion  is also open to doubt. It is known that the Department Chairperson have to spend much time on social activity. Maybe Professor Thomas prefer professional research and have no interest in becoming  Department Chairperson.

In sum, the statement is not convincing as it stands. To strengthen it, the author should provide more information to demonstrate that Professor Thomas is populary among students. Moreover, the author should ensure tha Professor Thomas has excellent research ability . To be better, the author should convince us that the increase of salary and promotion is necessary, or Professor Thomas will leave for another college.