Issue51 【加州阳光】第一次作业 请拍砖:D

leaf99UID: 2174003

"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student." 教育类 频率151
提纲：Agree 应该提高社会对个性化教育的认识，并通过合理配置资源，尽可能地做到因材施教。
1、从教育的目的来看，因材施教的重要性，所能达到的效果；
2、反之，扼杀学生，例子
3、教育对个人需要的满足是相对的，所以只有通过合理的资源配置，才能够做到……。
字数：551  时间：第一次，很久啊！

Though educators and socialists have been debating for decades over how to realize the effectiveness of education, no consensus has been reached so far. Regarding the purpose and subjects of education, I strongly agree with the speaker that the effective education could only be achieved when individual needs and interests are met.

The primary purpose of education is for individual improvement, based on which social advancement becomes possible. Education is responsible to realize the potential of every student by providing individualized and flexible teaching material and curriculum, rather than staffing all the students with standardized knowledge.Since every student has developed different aptitude and interests, it is vital for teachers and the school authority to notice these differences and thus design teaching accordingly. A renowed Chinese educator Tao Xingzhi once compared teaching to cultivating plants since plants require individual care. If the fertilizer for peony is mistakenly given to pinetree, the pinetree will wither soon and vise versa. Therefore, just as how the gardener should take care of plants, teachers should first identify the characteristics and interests of each student, then fertilize and water them with individualized education.

However, in reality, many teachers and school are blind and deaf to What Tao Xingzhi has advocated. In China, we are confronted with the harsh reality that an increasing number of underperformed childern have developed strong hatred for schooling due to the drab curriculum and teachers' discrimination while their extraordinary talents or special interests are generally ignored. Thus, school becames a place where mediocrity brandishes its sharp knife to those who attempt to deviate from the average group. Over twenty years in my life,
I have witnessed many tragic cases in which those children hate the school so much that they almost abandon their lives. Bao, my beloved sister, was so fond of dancing in her childhood that she devoted most of her after-school time to practising dancing. However,  due to her poor academic performance in shool, she received continuous criticism from both her teachers and parents. Unable to resist pressure, she finally gave up dancing and became a
dull and underperformed student who spent days and nights struggling in the sea of assignments just as her peers. I can imagine if she was encouraged to continue dancing, she would grow into a much energetic and hopeful person.

Reality is so disappointing and alarming that it calls the entire socity to face it with gathered wits. Tough it is almost impossible to realize the ideal situation in which individual demands and interests of each student are met, the school even the society can approch it by popularizing this idea to the society especially among teachers and optimizing educational resources. Schools in countries such as US and Japan have been experimenting this concept successfully for decades. For instance, by intergrating more optional courses into general curriculum while cutting down the number of compulsory courses, students are given the chance to choose teachers and classes according to their own interest. Besides, students should also be encouraged to take part in various extracurricular activities to enrich their campus life and develop their social ability.

As long as the whole socity becomes aware of treating each students individually and the importance of meeting individual needs and interests, education can be much more effective because schools can cultivate students various talents.

[ 本帖最后由 leaf99 于 2006-6-2 17:45 编辑 ]

joey.liuUID: 2207101

"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student." 教育类 频率151
提纲：Agree 应该提高社会对个性化教育的认识，并通过合理配置资源，尽可能地做到因材施教。
1、从教育的目的来看，因材施教的重要性，所能达到的效果；
2、反之，扼杀学生，例子
3、教育对个人需要的满足是相对的，所以只有通过合理的资源配置，才能够做到……。
字数：551  时间：第一次，很久啊！

Though educators and socialists have been debating for decades over how to realize the effectiveness of education, no consensus has been reached so far. Regarding the purpose and subjects of education, I strongly agree with the speaker that the effective education could only be achieved（应把only放这吧） when individual needs and interests are met.

The primary purpose of education is for individual improvement, based on which social advancement becomes possible. Education is responsible to realize the potential of every student by providing individualized and flexible teaching material and curriculum, rather than staffing（stuffing） all the students with standardized knowledge. Since every student has developed(用一般现在式own, possess较好) different aptitude(not sure if aptitudes) and interests, it is vital for teachers and the(无the) school authority to notice these differences and thus design teaching accordingly. A renowed（renowned）Chinese educator Tao Xingzhi once compared teaching to cultivating plants since plants require individual care. If the fertilizer for peony is mistakenly given to pinetree, the pinetree will wither soon and vise versa(啥意思？). Therefore, just as how the gardener should take care of plants, teachers should first identify the characteristics and interests of each student, then fertilize and water them with individualized education. （例子不错，但感觉开头没有突出因材施教的重要性，语气应该加强一下）

However, in reality, many teachers and school are blind and deaf to What Tao Xingzhi has advocated. In China, we are confronted with the harsh reality that an increasing number of underperformed childern（children） have developed strong hatred for schooling due to the drab curriculum and teachers' discrimination, while（and thereby） their extraordinary talents or special interests are generally ignored. Thus, school becames(becomes) a place where mediocrity brandishes its sharp knife(用复数吧) to those who attempt to deviate from the average group. Over twenty years in my life, I have witnessed many tragic cases in which those children hate the（无the） school so much that they almost abandon their lives. Bao, my beloved sister, was so fond of dancing in her childhood that she devoted most of her after-school time to practising dancing. However（用nevertheless换一下）， due to her poor academic performance in shool（school）, she received continuous criticism from both her teachers and parents. Unable to resist pressure, she finally gave up dancing and became a dull and underperformed student who spent days and nights struggling in the sea of assignments just as her peers. I can imagine if she was encouraged to continue dancing, she would grow（would have grown） into a much energetic and hopeful person(有点中国式英语味道，不太舒服，建议改一下).

  Reality is so disappointing and alarming that it calls the entire socity（society） to face it with gathered withs（？？）. Tough（Though） it is almost impossible to realize the ideal situation in which individual demands and interests of each student are met, the school even the society can approch(approach) it by popularizing this idea to the society especially among teachers and optimizing educational resources. Schools in countries such as US and Japan have been experimenting this concept successfully for decades. For instance, by intergrating(integrating) more optional courses into general curriculum while(and) cutting down the number of compulsory courses(ones), students are given(are supposed to have) the chance to choose teachers and classes according to their own interest(interests). Besides, students should also be encouraged to take part in various extracurricular activities to enrich their campus life and develop their social ability.

As long as the whole socity(society) becomes aware of treating each students(student) individually and the importance of meeting individual needs and interests, education can be much more effective because schools can cultivate students (into) various talents.
总体感觉文章一直在讲要满足个人需要，没有谈它与教育有效率的关系
建议：每段话开头应该鲜明突出主题，不能总是举在中国的例子，毕竟不是国内考试。另外 注意拼写错误（先在word上改一下再贴），结尾段要加强修饰。

joey.liuUID: 2207101

见帖子：http://www.gter.edu.cn/bbs/viewt ... &extra=page%3D1
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
我的思路：基本同意作者观点，但不是全部同意
1．满足大多数学生的需求和兴趣是必要的，无论对个人还是社会
2．满足大多数学生的需求和兴趣是必须的，原因是当今的信息技术和国际化趋势
3．因为有限的资源和复杂的环境，不可能做到满足每个人。 并且对小学生必须有限制和榜样，因为他们的需要和兴趣有时是不合理的

  With the increasingly rapid development of globalization and urbanization all of the world in the new century, many problems are brought about, one of them is that how to make education truly effective. I broadly agree with the speaker's view that education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests, nevertheless, it's a hard task for us to satisfy the interests and needs for each student. Several explanations account for my point.

  First of all, in order to make education effective and thereby promote the progress of society and benefit the public, we should design various subjects to meet most students' needs and interests. If our design of curriculum met their interests, they would be encouraged to do research or studying with high spirits. From the aspect of their own, it helps to improve their skills and characters, they thus become confident and outgoing both in making friends and applying jobs. Furthermore, because they dedicate doing experiment or research, their deeds would undoubtedly make contribution to and benefit their colleges and society a lot. Therefore, only by this way can education be truly effective and thus benefit individuals and society.

  Secondly, after examining the situation which includes the development of information technologies and internalization, we must look for ways to meet individual needs and interests to ensure education effective and adapt the constantly changeable social environment. In this new century, our education needs to be able to work effectively in an interdependent society having a worldwide scope. Education, therefore, will need put its emphasis on the students' experience in learning, seeking knowledge through different methods, in addition to the lecture, and developing skills through experience. All that education would exercise is designed for meeting the needs and interests of most students. Subsequently, if we wanted to make our society forward smoothly and quickly, the prerequisite would be that education meet individual needs and interests to make it effective.

  However, after all, facing so limited resources and increasing number of students day by day, to make education satisfy each student's requirement would be an ideal goal in the long run rather than a feasible solution in the present. Moreover, for pupils, there is no escaping the fact that young people they need as example principals and teachers who know difference between right and wrong, good and bad, and who themselves exemplify high moral purpose. Thus, certain must be said, certain limits lay down and certain examples set. There is no other way. In this sense, we cannot always meet their undesirable needs and interests.

  To sum up, it's not only necessary but also dispensable to design education to meet the individual needs and interests of most students to make it truly effective. But we would never realize the aim that satisfy the demands of all students for limited resources and complicated conditions, meanwhile, we risk disturbing normal educational system and resulting in chaos in education to winking at students' unreasonable desires blindly.

joey.liuUID: 2207101

非常感谢楼主的建议，以后一定注意加强例证强度！

盈盈飞飞UID: 2217743

提纲：Agree 应该提高社会对个性化教育的认识，并通过合理配置资源，尽可能地做到因材施教。
1、从教育的目的来看，因材施教的重要性，所能达到的效果；
2、反之，扼杀学生，例子
3、教育对个人需要的满足是相对的，所以只有通过合理的资源配置，才能够做到……。
字数：551  时间：第一次，很久啊！

Though educators and socialists have been debating for decades over how to realize the effectiveness of education, no consensus has been reached so far. Regarding the purpose and subjects of education, I strongly agree with the speaker that the effective education could only be achieved when individual needs and interests are met.
这样的开头我很喜欢
The primary purpose of education is for individual improvement, based on which social advancement becomes possible. Education is responsible to realize the potential of every student by providing individualized and flexible teaching material and curriculum, rather than staffing all the students with standardized knowledge.Since every student has developed different aptitude and interests, it is vital for teachers and the school authority to notice these differences and thus design teaching accordingly. A renowed Chinese educator Tao Xingzhi我觉得是把姓放后面，这样也可以吗 once compared teaching to cultivating plants since plants require individual care. If the fertilizer for peony is mistakenly given to pinetree, the pinetree will wither soon and vise versa. Therefore, just as how the gardener should take care of plants, teachers should first identify the characteristics and interests of each student, then fertilize and water them with individualized education.
写得很好呀

However, in reality, many teachers and school are blind and deaf to What Tao Xingzhi has advocated. In China, we are confronted with the harsh reality that an increasing number of underperformed childern have developed strong hatred for schooling due to the drab curriculum and teachers' discrimination while their extraordinary talents or special interests are generally ignored. Thus, school becames a place where mediocrity brandishes its sharp knife to those who attempt to deviate from the average group. Over twenty years in my life,
I have witnessed many tragic cases in which those children hate the school so much that they almost abandon their lives. Bao, my beloved sister, was so fond of dancing in her childhood that she devoted most of her after-school time to practising dancing. However,  due to her poor academic performance in shool, she received continuous criticism from both her teachers and parents. Unable to resist pressure, she finally gave up dancing and became a
dull and underperformed student who spent days and nights struggling in the sea of assignments just as her peers. I can imagine if she was encouraged to continue dancing, she would grow into a much energetic and hopeful person.

Reality is so disappointing and alarming that it calls the entire socity to face it with gathered withs. Tough it is almost impossible to realize the ideal situation in which individual demands and interests of each student are met, the school even the society can approch it by popularizing this idea to the society especially among teachers and optimizing educational resources. Schools in countries such as US and Japan have been experimenting this concept successfully for decades. For instance, by intergrating more optional courses into general curriculum while cutting down the number of compulsory courses, students are given the chance to choose teachers and classes according to their own interest. Besides, students should also be encouraged to take part in various extracurricular activities to enrich their campus life and develop their social ability.

As long as the whole socity becomes aware of treating each students individually and the importance of meeting individual needs and interests, education can be much more effective because schools can cultivate students various talents.
语言功底是很强的，不愧英语专八水平
别人改过的我就不改了
我得多像lz学习
思路也蛮清晰，例子的问题，我觉得尽量用老外的吧，自己的可能写得不够清楚地话，老外不好理解额~~~

leaf99UID: 2174003

谢谢盈盈飞飞 偶正在修改你的

joey.liuUID: 2207101

我issue又进行了大改，请提宝贵意见！

http://www.gter.edu.cn/bbs/viewt ... e%3D1#pid1768653223

biggestmouseUID: 2218003

Issue51 【加州阳光】第一次作业 请拍砖:D

"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student." 教育类 频率151
提纲：Agree 应该提高社会对个性化教育的认识，并通过合理配置资源，尽可能地做到因材施教。
1、从教育的目的来看，因材施教的重要性，所能达到的效果；
2、反之，扼杀学生，例子
3、教育对个人需要的满足是相对的，所以只有通过合理的资源配置，才能够做到……。
字数：551  时间：第一次，很久啊！

Though educators and socialists have been debating for decades over how to realize the effectiveness of education, no consensus has been reached so far. Regarding the purpose and subjects of education, I strongly agree with the speaker that the effective education could only be achieved when individual needs and interests are met.

The primary purpose of education is for individual improvement, based on which social advancement becomes possible. Education is responsible to realize the potential of every student by providing individualized and flexible teaching material and curriculum, rather than staffing all the students with standardized knowledge.Since every student has developed different aptitude and interests, it is vital for teachers and the school authority to notice these differences and thus design teaching accordingly. A renowed Chinese educator Tao Xingzhi once compared teaching to cultivating plants since plants require individual care. If the fertilizer for peony is mistakenly given to pinetree, the pinetree will wither soon and vise versa. Therefore, just as how the gardener should take care of plants, teachers should first identify the characteristics and interests of each student, then fertilize and water them with individualized education.

However, in reality, many teachers and school are blind and deaf to What Tao Xingzhi has advocated. In China, we are confronted with the harsh reality that an increasing number of underperformed childern have developed strong hatred for schooling due to the drab curriculum and teachers' discrimination while their extraordinary talents or special interests are generally ignored. Thus, school becames a place where mediocrity brandishes its sharp knife to those who attempt to deviate from the average group. Over twenty years in my life,
I have witnessed many tragic cases in which those children hate the school so much that they almost abandon their lives. Bao, my beloved sister, was so fond of dancing in her childhood that she devoted most of her after-school time to practising dancing. However,  due to her poor academic performance in shool, she received continuous criticism from both her teachers and parents. Unable to resist pressure, she finally gave up dancing and became a
dull and underperformed student who spent days and nights struggling in the sea of assignments just as her peers. I can imagine if she was encouraged to continue dancing, she would grow into a much energetic and hopeful person.

Reality is so disappointing and alarming that it calls the entire socity to face it with gathered wits. Tough it is almost impossible to realize the ideal situation in which individual demands and interests of each student are met, the school even the society can approch it by popularizing this idea to the society especially among teachers and optimizing educational resources. Schools in countries such as US and Japan have been experimenting this concept successfully for decades. For instance, by intergrating more optional courses into general curriculum while cutting down the number of compulsory courses, students are given the chance to choose teachers and classes according to their own interest. Besides, students should also be encouraged to take part in various extracurricular activities to enrich their campus life and develop their social ability.

As long as the whole socity becomes aware of treating each students individually and the importance of meeting individual needs and interests, education can be much more effective because schools can cultivate students various talents.
语言功底很好，但就论证来说存在几点问题：
1.论据，尤其是三段的论据，最好能用大家都知道的论据吧，个人经历不可信呀，（随便编个故事也能像模像样的）
2.第二段和第三段所表达的意思一样，只是一个是正面说一个从反面说而已
3.论证的力度不够
水平有限，见谅哦

728AWUID: 2216408

Though educators and socialists have been debating for decades over how to realize the effectiveness of education, no consensus has been reached so far. Regarding the purpose and subjects of education, I strongly agree with the speaker that the effective education could only be achieved when individual needs and interests are met.

The primary purpose of education is for individual improvement, based on which social advancement becomes possible. Education is responsible to realize the potential of every student by providing individualized and flexible teaching material and curriculum, rather than staffing all the students with standardized knowledge.Since （此处在word中显示有问题，不知道考场上是不是也应该在标点后空一格再写东西呢？）every student has developed different aptitude and interests, it is vital for teachers and the school authority to notice these differences and thus design teaching accordingly. A renowed Chinese educator Tao Xingzhi once compared teaching to cultivating plants since plants require individual care. If the fertilizer for peony is mistakenly given to pinetree, the pinetree will wither soon and vise versa. Therefore, just as how the gardener should take care of plants, teachers should first identify the characteristics and interests of each student, then fertilize and water them with individualized education.

However, in reality, many teachers and school are blind and deaf to What Tao Xingzhi has advocated. In China, we are confronted with the harsh reality that an increasing number of underperformed childern have developed strong hatred for schooling due to the drab curriculum and teachers' discrimination while their extraordinary talents or special interests are generally ignored. Thus, school becames a place where mediocrity brandishes its sharp knife to those who attempt to deviate from the average group. Over twenty years in my life,
I have witnessed many tragic cases in which those children hate the school so much that they almost abandon their lives. Bao, my beloved sister, was so fond of dancing in her childhood that she devoted most of her after-school time to practising dancing. However,  due to her poor academic performance in shool, she received continuous criticism from both her teachers and parents. Unable to resist pressure, she finally gave up dancing and became a
dull and underperformed student who spent days and nights struggling in the sea of assignments just as her peers. I can imagine if she was encouraged to continue dancing, she would grow into a much energetic and hopeful person.

Reality is so disappointing and alarming that it calls the entire socity to face it with gathered wits. Tough it is almost impossible to realize the ideal situation in which individual demands and interests of each student are met, the school even the society can approch it by popularizing this idea to the society especially among teachers and optimizing educational resources. Schools in countries such as US and Japan have been experimenting this concept successfully for decades. For instance, by intergrating more optional courses into general curriculum while cutting down the number of compulsory courses, students are given the chance to choose teachers and classes according to their own interest. Besides, students should also be encouraged to take part in various extracurricular activities to enrich their campus life and develop their social ability.

As long as the whole socity becomes aware of treating each students individually and the importance of meeting individual needs and interests, education can be much more effective because schools can cultivate students various talents.
以上红色是拼写错误，或者是单复数错误，建议楼主发作文前在WORD中贴一下.
对于语法,我向来是超级薄弱的地方,所以上述文章有读不太顺或断句不成功的地方我就不指出了,8成是我错了.呵呵.我就给楼主提点结构上的建议吧.
读了几遍之后理了理你的思路.
1.说教育必须分类,并引证TAO的话.
2.说如果没分类的坏处,举例是表妹.
3.针对现在中国社会并没有实行因材施教而给了自己的建议.

恩,我觉得其中的问题如下
1.作者在强调中国的社会现状和自己身边的例子,记得XDF老师说,AW和TWE的区别就是在例子上要上个档次,即使不能说名人也编个大事件,举个历史上的大趋势.千万别说自己邻居什么的.建议作者看看有个什么素材百宝箱里的各类资料.其实我也一直打算看,但是还没看呢(-_-b)
2.感觉有点论证单薄,比如1.2段,which占全文很大篇幅,一直在说因材施教这个问题,举了正反两方面说它的必要性,但是感觉和题目的effective没扣上,最好修改时候把意思往那方面靠一靠,感觉扣题为好.然后这三个段落来看,2段存在的必要性有点质疑.个人觉得2段可以简单写写放在第一段中,给第一段的主题意思做一个反面论证.而文章最好再加段从别的角度说的一个论证.和第一个区别大点,但却联系紧密的.
3.我看范文时候总结的是范文论证中的每段都是独立但却是紧密的逻辑关系,而且T.S分明.一般都是一段中第一句是鲜明的TS表示自己立场,然后接下来论证,最后一句紧扣第一句,这样使文章结构紧凑.呵呵,和楼主分享一下.如有不对,请指证,毕竟我就看了3个范文.


修改晚了,实在感到羞愧~~多了借口也不说了,大家共同努力,同时也谢谢叶子给我的修改!!

[ 本帖最后由 728AW 于 2006-6-4 17:45 编辑 ]