argument117 FlY AW 作文组

kckUID: 2214868

限时还是完成不了,已经写的超级八股了.......
TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

提纲:
1.攻击统计问题
2.即使多工作也未必导致对办公用品的需求会上升
3.即使上升,人们也未必会喜欢到这里买.
4.即使销售上升,但增加存货会增加成本,如果卖的不够快,仍然会亏损,更别说most profitable了
(其实还可以攻击没考虑其他部门,不能太早说会是利润最大)
  The memo recommend that all Valu-Mart stores should increase their storage of home office machines and office supplies by pointing out that a recent survey shows that over 70% people who responsed the survey are required to take more work home from their workplace than before. The memo also concludes that office-supply departments will therefore become the most profitable among all the stores' departments. Yet this memo relies on several unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
   To begin with, the memo provides no evidence to show the survey is statistically reliable .We are not informed how the survey was conducted and how it selected respondents. Then the respondents may not be representative of all working people. It is entirely possible that the respondents are mainly work in the kind of companies and the result only reflects the situation in these companies. With out more information about the survey, the memo can hardly convince me that the survey reflects the true trend among working people.
  secondly, even assuming that the survey is reliable, the manager unfairly assumes that the trend that people are working more at home than before would lead to a increasing demand for office machines and office supplies. It is entirely possible that the tasks that people accomplish at home are mainly the kind that does not need those office machines. Or perhaps people may have the habits to leave the works that require office machines or office supplies to their workplaces. If either of the two is the case, the recommendation will become meaningless.
  Thirdly, even if that the demand for office machines and office supplies will increase significantly ,the memo depends on the further assumptions that people would be most likely to choose Valu-Mart  to buy these products and  therefore lead their office-supply department to be its most profitable components. It is equally possible that these people may like to acquire these products in the shops that deal mainly about office products. Moreover, even assuming the sales of office products will increase in Valu-Mart, it is too hasty to conclude that the profits will subsequently increase significantly. Common sense tells us the increase of stock of such products will increase its costs, if Valu-Mart cannot sell these quickly enough, the increased profits may not be able to offset the additional costs. Without ruling out and considering such possible scenarios, the manager cannot convince me that the office-supply department will be more profitable than before, let alone become the most profitable department of the Valu-Mart.
  In sum, the recommendation flaws in several respects as discussed above. To strengthen it, the manager must provide clear evidence to show that there will be an increasing demand in office products. The manager should also justify that the sales of these products will increase subsequently. Besides, the manager should also give apparent evidence to show that other departments will not be as profitable as office-supply department since the increasing demand for office products.

晕死了,没贴上来..不过最后一段确实是超时写的

[ 本帖最后由 kck 于 2006-6-9 19:00 编辑 ]

风中尘埃UID: 164965

不算太八股拉，而且最后没有结尾，不知道是时间不够还是就这样布局

理由比较充分，有借鉴意义，：）
用词也比较丰富，我写得时候拼命想，stock 还能怎样表示，就是没想到用storage，ft

zqznedUID: 2114587

The memo recommend that all Valu-Mart stores should increase their storage of home office machines and office supplies by pointing out that a recent survey shows that over 70% people who responded the survey are required to take more work home from their workplace than before. The memo also concludes that office-supply departments will therefore become the most profitable among all the stores' departments. Yet this memo relies on several unsubstantiated assumptions, which render it unconvincing as it stands.

   To begin with, the memo provides no evidence to show the survey is statistically reliable .We are not informed how the survey was conducted and how it selected respondents. Then the respondents may not be representative of all working people. It is entirely possible that the respondents are mainly work in the kind of companies and the result only reflects the situation in these companies. With out more information about the survey, the memo can hardly convince me that the survey reflects the true trend among working people.

  Secondly, even assuming that the survey is reliable, the manager unfairly assumes that the trend that people are working more at home than before would lead to a increasing demand for office machines and office supplies. It is entirely possible that the tasks that people accomplish at home are mainly the kind that does not need those office machines. Or perhaps people may have the habits to leave the works that require office machines or office supplies to their workplaces. If either of the two is the case, the recommendation will become meaningless.

  Thirdly, even if that the demand for office machines and office supplies will increase significantly ,the memo depends on the further assumptions that people would be most likely to choose Valu-Mart  to buy these products and  therefore lead their office-supply department to be its most profitable components. It is equally possible that these people may like to acquire these products in the shops that deal mainly about office products. Moreover, even assuming the sales of office products will increase in Valu-Mart, it is too hasty to conclude that the profits will subsequently increase significantly. Common sense tells us the increase of stock of such products will increase its costs, if Valu-Mart cannot sell these quickly enough, the increased profits may not be able to offset the additional costs. Without ruling out and considering such possible scenarios, the manager cannot convince me that the office-supply department will be more profitable than before, let alone become the most profitable department of the Valu-Mart.

理由写得不错，就是结尾没有，最后的分开看起来清楚一些，有个别语法错误

kckUID: 2214868

哥们,下回帮我指出具体语法错误吧.不然我真不只错在那里
3x!