argument117 FLY AW作文组第十次作业（556字）

夜一UID: 2130338

还是不行，一定要把字数减下来。：（
请大家多多指教，谢谢。：）

Argument117  第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：80分1秒     224 words
从2006年5月8日9时55分到2006年5月8日11时80分
------题目------
The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.
'Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores.'
------正文------
The manager asserts that by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies, their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of Valu-Mart stores. To support this point of view, he illustrate a recent survey. Unfortunately, this suvey cannot exactly lead to his conclusion by improving the office-supply sales which is currently not impressive.

First of all, the representability of the mentioned survey has not been examined. Although over 70 percent of the respondents have reported that they are required to take more work home than they were in the past, the detailed information of these responders are completely ignored. Can they represent the majority workers live in the area near Valu-Mart stores? If the answer is not, it is hard to say that this tendency will cause essential change to Valu-Mart. Is this work-at-home trend a long time tendency or a temporary one with current difficult tasks? If the answer is the latter, it is doubtful that home office machines can reach a good sale in the following days when the tasks are finished. As a result, without detailed information about the responders, the future demand of home office machines in Valu-Mart stores is totally uncertain.

Besides, even if the work-at-home trend is popular in the area of Valu-Mart stores, and will last a rather long time, there is no clear relationship between this trend and the requirement of home office machines and office supplies. The responders do take more work home, but they also work at workplaces. The work taken back by those responders may need no home office machines, such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines at all. Even if they have to use these machines, all these machines are available at workpalces, and therefore it is not extremely necessary for them to install these expensive machines individually for they can simply avoid using these machines at home by making good work plans. Without estabishing a accurate relationship between the work-at-home trend and the requirement of home office machines, it is difficult to predict cheerful future sales. On the other hand, no additional information indicates that the requirement of office supplies, such as paper, pens, and staplers will increase according to this trend.

Furthermore, even if the demand of home office machine and office supplies will increase in the following days, whether their increasing stock can revise the currently poor sales is also uncertain. Besides the sort of stock, the sales status is determined by several factors, such as prizes, arrangement, and management. However, all these situations have not be mentioned by the manager. It the poor sales mainly result from unreasonable prizes, unpleasant arrangement, or unefficient management, the simple change of the stock cannot solve these problems, and the sales are not likely to be improved. Without carefully examining the causes of poor sales, it is too optmistic to state that the office-sipply department will become the most profitable component of Valu-Mart stores by changing stock varieties.

In conclusion, the manager's recommendation to increase the stock of home office machines and office supplies is difficult to be accepted, for neither the representative of the survey nor the relationship between the work-at-home trend and the demand of these goods has been certainly built up. Moreover, whether the sales of office-supply department, which is currently not impressive, can be improved by this action still remains a question.

flycc28UID: 2164453

The manager asserts that by increasing the stock of home office machines and office supplies, their office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of Valu-Mart stores. To support this point of view, he illustrate a recent survey. Unfortunately, this suvey cannot exactly lead to his conclusion by improving the office-supply sales which is currently not impressive.

First of all, the representability of the mentioned survey has not been examined. Although over 70 percent of the respondents have reported that they are required to take more work home than they were in the past, the detailed information of these responders are completely ignored. Can they represent the majority workers live in the area near Valu-Mart stores? If the answer is not, it is hard to say that this tendency will cause essential change to Valu-Mart. Is this work-at-home trend a long time tendency or a temporary one with current difficult tasks? If the answer is the latter, it is doubtful that home office machines can reach a good sale in the following days when the tasks are finished. As a result, without detailed information about the responders, the future demand of home office machines in Valu-Mart stores is totally uncertain.

Besides, even if the work-at-home trend is popular in the area of Valu-Mart stores, and will last a rather long time, there is no clear relationship between this trend and the requirement of home office machines and office supplies. The responders do take more work home, but they also work at workplaces. The work taken back by those responders may need no home office machines, such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines at all. Even if they have to use these machines, all these machines are available at workpalces, and therefore it is not extremely necessary for them to install these expensive machines individually for they can simply avoid using these machines at home by making good work plans. Without estabishing a accurate relationship between the work-at-home trend and the requirement of home office machines, it is difficult to predict cheerful future sales. On the other hand, no additional information indicates that the requirement of office supplies, such as paper, pens, and staplers will increase according to this trend.

Furthermore, even if the demand of home office machine and office supplies will increase in the following days, whether their increasing stock can revise the currently poor sales is also uncertain. Besides the sort of stock, the sales status is determined by several factors, such as prizes, arrangement, and management. However, all these situations have not be mentioned by the manager. It the poor sales mainly result from unreasonable prizes, unpleasant arrangement, or unefficient management, the simple change of the stock cannot solve these problems, and the sales are not likely to be improved. Without carefully examining the causes of poor sales, it is too optmistic to state that the office-sipply department will become the most profitable component of Valu-Mart stores by changing stock varieties.

In conclusion, the manager's recommendation to increase the stock of home office machines and office supplies is difficult to be accepted, for neither the representative of the survey nor the relationship between the work-at-home trend and the demand of these goods has been certainly built up. Moreover, whether the sales of office-supply department, which is currently not impressive, can be improved by this action still remains a question.
真能写啊 呵呵 我觉得第三段可以减一减啦,但是似乎又都不能少:(

夜一UID: 2130338

谢谢，我觉得是一定要删减的，否则绝对写不完

风中尘埃UID: 164965

时间够就不用减了，500来字也不算多的离谱
每个问题都讲得很细，分析的比较透彻，这样就少不了了

ps：写了几篇作文后，总觉得句式词汇什么的不够丰富，昨天记得的，今天可能又想不起来了，一下笔就套路什么的忘光光，除非一边写一边参考。除了多看以外，还有什么好方法没有？求助阿~~~~~~

zqznedUID: 2114587

时间够就不要减了，唉，不过有难度

夜一UID: 2130338

一般来说我还是希望a能控制在400以内，i能控制在500以内
不然以我的打字速度。。而且又不能完全不花时间去想
作文的句式还是要多写就好了

风中尘埃UID: 164965

可是不是说高分的作文，i，唯一的共同点就是字数上六百么

flycc28UID: 2164453

原帖由 风中尘埃 于 2006-6-8 19:33 发表
可是不是说高分的作文，i，唯一的共同点就是字数上六百么

估计是看北美看多了 呵呵  一般来说450就够了~