Issue141【加州阳光】第三次作业 sandy请猛拍

sandyfriendUID: 157486

TOPIC: ISSUE141 - "Most people recognize the benefits of individuality, but the fact is that personal economic success requires conformity."
WORDS: 567          TIME: 1:03:42          DATE: 2006-6-16

With the rapid developments of the society, how to be a men with personal economic success attract people attention. Some maintain the great role of the conformity in success process, nevertheless others contends the benefits of individuality.  As for me, both individuality and conformity contribute to personal economic success.

On the one hand, most people recognize the benefits of individuality in personal economic success, which is considered to be the headspring of innovation. In today's severe competition, no one can succeed in simply copying others' deeds. They have to be innovative and have their own individuality so as not to be submerged in the oceans of competition. For example, the SGI which is the founder of the computer graphic hardware announces the bankrupt no long ago. Many famous companies which could not produce the new products are defeated thoroughly and not even be able to survive, let alone the achievement of economic success. Therefore, we can see that individuality differentiates one from another, and makes everyone unique. Without individuality, we can see no difference between one and another, thus innovation would be impossible, which in turn hampers the personal economic success as well as the development of the whole society.

On the other hand, conformity plays a vital role in ensuring personal economic success and serves as its foundation. Without conformity, personal economic success would become a mirage. Since everyone lives in the society and society has its own regulations, everyone has to obey these regulations, or otherwise they would be published and their survival would be threatened, let alone the achievement of personal economic success. A case in point is the bankruptcy of Enron energy group. It is well known that Enron has been cooking its account books in its past few years in order to gain more economic success; however, what awaits it is not the economic success but the punishment of its deeds. Also they have to conform to the needs of their customers, or they would lose their market, without which they cannot even survive, not to mention the achievement of personal economic success. Therefore we can see that conformity is indispensable to ensure one to pursue its economic success in the right way and make the success ever lasting.

However, individuality and conformity are not mutually exclusive. As is mentioned above, individuality makes one different from others and excels over others; while conformity provides a solid ground for the attained personal economic success and makes it last longer. Therefore, we should combine them together in order to pursue personal economic success. A good example is the success of Apple again, before 1998 Apple seems to be an old man sick into death. In 1998, they design the iMac, basing the “thinks different” ideas on the premise of conformity to the customers’ demands of Internet. For then on , Apple become the signal of fashion of the Internet. In the following, Apple keeps its individuality by the invention of the ipod. This is the perfect combination of art and technology and consolidates its leading status in IT.   

In all, in order to attain personal economic success, one needs not only individuality but also conformity. Only through combining them together can one fully realize his personal economic success.

728AWUID: 2216408

With the rapid developments of the society, how to be a men with personal economic success attract people (people's)attention. Some maintain the great role of the conformity in success process, nevertheless others contends the benefits of individuality.  As for me, both individuality and conformity contribute to personal economic success
引用酸奶的点评,我也是刚学到的:some people agree....others think....这样的开头即使用在twe里也不是上佳的开头,更不用说是在aw里了.开头所做的事主要有两件:一,给出题目的背景,把话题引向题目关心的内容;二,给出你自己的观点.要知道,几乎所有的aw topic都没有绝对的对错,所以考官关心的是你的想法,而不是其他人,some people this some people that
On the one hand, most people recognize the benefits of individuality in personal economic success, which is considered to be the headspring of innovation. In today's severe competition, no one can succeed in simply copying others' deeds. They have to be innovative and have their own individuality so as not to be submerged in the oceans of competition. For example, the SGI which is the founder of the computer graphic hardware announces the bankrupt no long ago. Many famous companies which could not produce the new products are defeated thoroughly and not even be able to survive, let alone the achievement of economic success. Therefore, we can see that individuality differentiates one from another, and makes everyone unique. Without individuality, we can see no difference between one and another, thus innovation would be impossible, which in turn hampers the personal economic success as well as the development of the whole society.
你的这一段怎么和我们组的mercurywater那个好象.....
On the other hand, conformity plays a vital role in ensuring personal economic success and serves as its foundation. 恩,这句话很好,向你学习!Without conformity, personal economic success would become a mirage. Since everyone lives in the society and society has its own regulations, everyone has to obey these regulations, or otherwise they would be published and their survival would be threatened, let alone the achievement of personal economic success. A case in point is the bankruptcy of Enron energy group. It is well known that Enron has been cooking its account books in its past few years in order to gain more economic success; however, what awaits it is not the economic success but the punishment of its deeds. Also they have to conform to the needs of their customers, or they would lose their market, without which they cannot even survive, not to mention the achievement of personal economic success. Therefore we can see that conformity is indispensable to ensure one to pursue its economic success in the right way and make the success ever lasting.
那两个红色的短语用得很好,我在作文中想表达这样的意思还不知道怎么说呢~向你学到了~
However, individuality and conformity are not mutually exclusive. 又学到一次As is mentioned above, individuality makes one different from others and excels over others; while conformity provides a solid ground for the attained 该用名词形式吧?personal economic success and makes it last longer. Therefore, we should combine them together in order to pursue personal economic success. A good example is the success of Apple again, before 1998 Apple seems to be an old man sick into death. In 1998, they design the iMac, basing the “thinks different” ideas on the premise of conformity to the customers’ demands of Internet. For then on , Apple become the signal of fashion of the Internet.signal of fashion?还是往economic上靠吧 In the following, Apple keeps its individuality by the invention of the ipod. This is the perfect combination of art and technology and consolidates its leading status in IT.   

In all, in order to attain personal economic success, one needs not only individuality but also conformity. Only through combining them together can one fully realize his personal economic success.
同样相同的结尾...不过仍然很喜欢这个结尾~~

文章结构清晰,和我思路好像~~也向你学到不少我要表达但是没表达好的句式和词汇.请帮忙看看我的文章， 提点建议.谢谢!!!:hug:

ISSUE141 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2
ARGUMENT17 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

yvonnewhuUID: 2202979

With the rapid developments of the society, the question of how to be:L a men with personal economic success attracts people's attention. Some maintain the great role of the conformity in success process, nevertheless others contends the benefits of individuality.  As for me, both individuality and conformity contribute to personal economic success.

On the one hand, most people recognize the benefits of individuality in personal economic success, which is considered to be the headspring of innovation. In today's severe competition, no one can succeed in simply copying others' deeds. They have to be innovative and have their own individuality so as not to be submerged in the oceans of competition. For example, the SGI which is the founder of the computer graphic hardware announces the bankrupt no long ago. Many famous companies which could not produce the new products are defeated thoroughly and not even be able to survive, let alone the achievement of economic success. Therefore, we can see that individuality differentiates one from another, and makes everyone unique. Without individuality, we can see no difference between one and another, thus innovation would be impossible, which in turn hampers the personal economic success as well as the development of the whole society. SGI这个例子运用在这里好像有些牵强哦:eek:

On the other hand, conformity plays a vital role in ensuring personal economic success and serves as its foundation. Without conformity, personal economic success would become a mirage. Since everyone lives in the society and society has its own regulations, everyone has to obey these regulations, or otherwise用词重复了把:confused: they would be published and their survival would be threatened, let alone the achievement of personal economic success. A case in point is the bankruptcy of Enron energy group. It is well known that Enron has been cooking its account books in its past few years in order to gain more economic success; however, what awaits it 已经有What做主语了is not the economic success but the punishment of its deeds. Also they have to conform to the needs of their customers, or they would lose their market, without which they cannot even survive, not to mention the achievement of personal economic success. Therefore we can see that conformity is indispensable to ensure one to pursue its economic success in the right way and make the success ever lasting.这段的例子举得不错哦:cool:
However, individuality and conformity are not mutually exclusive. As is mentioned above, individuality makes one different from others and excels over others; while conformity provides a solid ground for the attained personal economic success and makes it last longer. Therefore, we should combine them together in order to pursue personal economic success. A good example is the success of Apple again, before 1998 Apple seems to be an old man sick into death. In 1998, they design the iMac, basing the “thinks different” ideas on the premise of conformity to the customers’ demands of Internet. For then on , Apple become the signal of fashion of the Internet. In the following, Apple keeps its individuality by the invention of the ipod. This is the perfect combination of art and technology and consolidates its leading status in IT.    这个例子也很不错啊:cool:
In all, in order to attain personal economic success, one needs not only individuality but also conformity. Only through combining them together can one fully realize his personal economic success

思路很清晰的一篇文章啊,发现你的语法错误也好多了,有很大进步奥,说说你是怎么达到这一点的呀?sandy?
我得文章是
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

[ 本帖最后由 yvonnewhu 于 2006-6-17 21:16 编辑 ]