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[a习作temp] argument146 BHN [复制链接]

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发表于 2006-7-2 18:16:32 |显示全部楼层
146The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper.

"The librarians in our town's school system have reported that the number of trips that our students make to their school library on a voluntary basis has decreased significantly in recent years. For example, the average seventh-grade student visited the school library five times last year, but four of those visits were part of required classroom activities. This shows that our students are reading less than in the past. To address this problem, our town needs to improve the atmosphere of the libraries so that they will be comfortable places in which to work. If students view the libraries as uncomfortable, then they are unlikely to want to spend much time there."

9:32--

reasoning: trips to library decrease  improve the atmosphere
outlines:
A. decrease?
B. atmosphere?
C. other way?

In this argument, the author recommends that the town's schools should improve the atmosphere of the libraries based on the report of the librarians that the number of trips that students make to their school library on a volntary basis has decreased significantly in recent years. However, the argument is not as convincing as it seems on the surface.

The first problem is that the arguer fails to convince me that the student went to libraries less frequently than before. Admittedly, the average seventh-grade student visited the school libraries only once last year, which seems a low frequency. However, no data concerning the frequency in other years in the past is not provided. Without that informantion, it is entirely possible that the average frequency in the earlier years is even lower, for example, 0.75 per  year. In addition, the arguer only give the information regarding the seven-grade students, while offer no information about sutdents at other grades. Perhaps other students went to libraries more that befrore, and thus the overall trips to the libraries does not decrease. In all, without solid evidence, the recommendation is premature.

Even if the students went to the libraries voluntary less frequently than before, it does not necessarily means that the students are reading less that before, because there are 4  required trips.  Perhaps schools realize the sigificance of reading, therefore increase the number of required trips to libraries. If in the past years, students are not required to go to the libraries or the required times are less than 4 times, it might be the increasing required required trips that cause the fewer voluntary trips. If this is true, students might read more on required trips, therefore the conclusion of the arguer is unpersuading.

Even the student really read less, it is still open to doubt that the atmosphere is the actual cause. Admmitly, bad atmosphere could great influence the interest of students to librarilies. But what if the atmosphere of the librarilies is not bad or even very good? If so, it cannot be the atmosphere that prevent the students' zest to libraries. There are many other factor that might cause the unwillingness of students' not going to the libraries. Perhaps the students do not like reading;perhaps they have too much homework to have time to go the librarilies;or perhaps librarilies have not got the booking attractive to students. Without considering and ruling out these possible causes, the recommendation might not be effective to change the current situation.

In sum, the arguement is not well reasoned as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer must provide the average times of studets at all grades  visiting libraries. Perhaps an investigation on the reason why some students do not visit librarilies frequently is needed. To better assess the argument, the arguer must let me konw how the atmosphere of the librariles are like.

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发表于 2006-7-2 21:09:57 |显示全部楼层
本文逻辑很严密,基本切到了作者的要害,再注意一下拼写和语法,相信可以得到不错的分数
注意个别语句的使用

In this argument, the author recommends that the town's schools should improve the atmosphere of the libraries based on the report of the librarians that the number of trips that students make to their school library on a volntary basis has decreased significantly in recent years. However, the argument is not as convincing as it seems on the surface.

The first problem is that the arguer fails to convince me that the student went to libraries less frequently than before. Admittedly, the average seventh-grade student visited the school libraries only once last year, which seems a low frequency. However, no data concerning the frequency in other years in the past is not provided.双重否定? Without that informantion, it is entirely possible that the average frequency in the earlier years is even lower, for example, 0.75 per  year. In addition, the arguer only gives the information regarding the seven-grade students, while offers no information about sutdents拼写 at other grades. Perhaps other students went to libraries more that befrore, and thus the overall trips to the libraries does not decrease. In all, without solid evidence, the recommendation is premature.本段主旨的说明不一定减少,但由此否定recommendation还为时过早

Even if the students went to the libraries voluntary less frequently than before, it does not necessarily means that the students are reading less that before, because there are 4  required trips.  Perhaps schools realize the sigificance of reading, therefore increase the number of required trips to libraries. If in the past years, students are not required to go to the libraries or the required times are less than 4 times, it might be the increasing required required写重复了 trips that cause the fewer voluntary trips. If this is true, students might read more on required trips, therefore the conclusion of the arguer is unpersuading.

Even the student really read less, it is still open to doubt that the atmosphere is the actual cause. Admmitly, bad atmosphere could greatly influence the interest of students to librarilies. But what if the atmosphere of the librarilies is not bad or even very good? If so, it cannot be the atmosphere that prevents the students' zest to libraries. There are many other factor that might cause the unwillingness of students' not going to the libraries. Perhaps the students do not like reading;perhaps they have too much homework to do to have time to go the librarilies;too ... to 用在这里容易引起误会or perhaps librarilies have not got the booking?? attractive to students. Without considering and ruling out these possible causes, the recommendation might not be effective to change the current situation.

In sum, the arguement is not well reasoned as it stands. To make it logically acceptable, the arguer must provide the average times of studets at all grades  visiting libraries. Perhaps an investigation on the reason why some students do not visit librarilies frequently is needed. To better assess the argument, the arguer must let me konw how the atmosphere of the librariles are like.
对?错?

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RE: argument146 BHN [修改]

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