Issue144 【黄金十二宫】 0610G同主题写作第一期

渡渡鸟UID: 145880

平衡观点：艺术家，评论家各有作用

When talking about who gives the world perpetual value, the artist or the critic, every individual has own opinion according to his/her own preference. I concede that artist contributed a lot in creating an eternal virtue, since it is the artist who gives the life to the natal born art. Nevertheless, we also cannot overlook the effectiveness of the critics, for they help the masses accept the masterpiece and teach people how to correctly appreciate a art work.

It is no doubt that artists give the life of the masterpieces and they certainly should be respect by the society because of their momentous contribution to the human civilization. A good case in point is Antoni Gaudi who was appointed official architect of the gorgeous “Templo de la Sagarda Familia” in 1883, which, although still unfinished at his death, is considered to be his masterpiece. The lofty semi-cubist towers, with mosaic covered finials, dominate the Barcelona skyline, and its imaginative forms, colors and textures are unmatched in the European architecture. The beauty of “Templo de la Sagarda Familia” attractive thousands of visitors around the world every year and consequently have a positive effect in propagandizing the Barcelona’s history and culture. Therefore it is naturally that the artist, Gaudi, should be regard as the person who creates the eternal value to the society.

Another apt illustration of artist who gives the society the permanent virtue is Vincent Van Gogh who was considered to be one of the most notable figures of the postimpressionist school. Although only one of his paintings was sold while he lived, Van Gogh’s paintings were indeed masterpieces in the art history and successful directed other potential artists afterwards.

Besides their great contribution in creating the eternal value, however, sometimes critics also play an important role in disseminating the merits of a classic, which means that critics help the denizens comprehend the inner virtue of a masterpiece. The Academy Awards, commonly known as Oscars, are among the film industry’s most coveted prizes. The entire academy members participate in voting for the annual awards and they gradually become the beacon of the major film trend directing the masses. Shortly after the excellent film “Crash” was hitting the shelf, it did not have a great appeal among the masses because it reflected the underlying society facts and seemed too vague for people to comprehend. However, After “Crash” enjoyed the 2005 annual most valuable film of Oscar, its box office increasing dramatically. In a sense, Oscar contributes a lot in helping people enjoy films correctly.

The popularity of Quixote also reflects of the importance of the critics. Shortly after the new fiction-Don Quixote- was published, it did not have a great appeal among the masses, since people considered it to be a simple satire. It is the positive comment from the critics that guide the denizens acknowledging the immanent beauty of the novel and propagandize its merits. In short, critics also made their own contribution during the flourishing of the permanent arts.

All in all, in the whole process of creating and propagandizing a classic, both the artists and the critics contribute their efforts respectively, that is to say, they cannot live normally without the other counterparts. Therefore, we can easily draw a conclusion that it is the artist and the critic who gives society something of lasting value.

莎拉UID: 2185851

我也写过这篇，来帮你拍吧~

When talking about who gives the world perpetual value, the artist or the critic, every individual has (his or her) own opinion according to his/her (own) preference. I concede that artist contributed a lot in creating an eternal virtue, since it is the artist who gives the life to the natal born art. Nevertheless, we also cannot overlook the effectiveness of the critics, for they help the masses accept the masterpiece and teach people how to correctly appreciate a (an) art work.

It is no doubt that artists give the life of the masterpieces and they certainly should be respect(ed) by the society because of their momentous contribution to the human civilization. A good case in point is Antoni Gaudi who was appointed official architect of the gorgeous “Templo de la Sagarda Familia” in 1883, which, although still unfinished at his death, is considered to be his masterpiece. The lofty semi-cubist towers, with mosaic covered finials, dominate the Barcelona skyline, and its imaginative forms, colors and textures are unmatched in the European architecture. The beauty of “Templo de la Sagarda Familia” attractive (attracts) thousands of visitors around the world every year and consequently have (has) a positive effect in propagandizing the Barcelona’s history and culture. Therefore it is naturally that the artist, Gaudi, should be regard as the person who creates the eternal value to the society.

Another apt illustration of artist who gives the society the permanent virtue is Vincent Van Gogh who was considered to be one of the most notable figures of the postimpressionist school. Although only one of his paintings was sold while he lived, Van Gogh’s paintings were indeed masterpieces in the art history and successful directed other potential artists afterwards.(这两段各举了一个例子说明artists的重要性，我个人认为例子的篇幅太长，如果能加些分析性的话就更好了：)
Besides their great contribution in creating the eternal value, however, sometimes critics also play an important role in disseminating the merits of a classic, which means that critics help the denizens comprehend the inner virtue of a masterpiece. The Academy Awards, commonly known as Oscars, are among the film industry’s most coveted prizes. The entire academy members participate in voting for the annual awards and they gradually become the beacon of the major film trend directing the masses. Shortly after the excellent film “Crash” was hitting the shelf, it did not have a great appeal among the masses because it reflected the underlying society facts and seemed too vague for people to comprehend. However, After “Crash” enjoyed the 2005 annual most valuable film of Oscar, its box office increasing dramatically. In a sense, Oscar contributes a lot in helping people enjoy films correctly. (这一段的主题句是critics的作用，后面的例子好象没有强调这一点，甚至都没有出现critic这个词，我觉得应该再提一下)
The popularity of Quixote also reflects of the importance of the critics. Shortly after the new fiction-Don Quixote- was published, it did not have a great appeal among the masses, since people considered it to be a simple satire. It is the positive comment from the critics that guide the denizens acknowledging the immanent beauty of the novel and propagandize its merits. In short, critics also made their own contribution during the flourishing of the permanent arts.（这个例子比较有力）
All in all, in the whole process of creating and propagandizing a classic, both the artists and the critics contribute their efforts respectively, that is to say, they cannot live normally (什么叫they cannot live normally?) without the other counterparts. Therefore, we can easily draw a conclusion that it is the artist and the critic who gives society something of lasting value.

这篇文章整体不错，就是前面有些小错误，如第三人称，被动语态等应尽量避免，举了很多例子来支撑论点，也用了很多难词，这点很不错，但要注意议论性的文章不是仅由例子堆砌起来的，分析性的语句也很重要哦，当然，这只是我的个人意见，仅供参考~

我昨天写的一篇，放着没人管，有空帮忙拍拍吧，不胜感激~
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D4

winnie_nnUID: 2208004

平衡观点：艺术家，评论家各有作用

When talking about who gives the world perpetual value, the artist or the critic, every individual has own opinion according to his/her own preference. I concede that artist contributed(contribute 就行了吧，现在时更合适，要不就用完成时) a lot in creating an eternal virtue, since it is the artist who gives the life to the natal born art. Nevertheless, we also cannot overlook the effectiveness(effect, effectiveness有点怪) of the critics, for they help the masses accept the masterpiece and teach people how to correctly appreciate a art work.

It is no doubt that artists give the life of the masterpieces and they certainly should be respect(respected) by the society because of their momentous contribution to the human civilization. A good case in point is Antoni Gaudi who was appointed official architect of the gorgeous “Templo de la Sagarda Familia” in 1883, which, although still unfinished at his death, is considered to be his masterpiece. The lofty semi-cubist towers, with mosaic covered finials, dominate the Barcelona skyline, and its imaginative forms, colors and textures are unmatched in the European architecture. The beauty of “Templo de la Sagarda Familia” attractive(attracts) thousands of visitors around the world every year and consequently have(has) a positive effect in propagandizing the Barcelona’s history and culture. Therefore it is naturally that the artist, Gaudi, should be regard as the person who creates the eternal value to the society.

Another apt illustration of artist who gives the society the permanent virtue is Vincent Van Gogh who was considered to be one of the most notable figures of the postimpressionist school. Although only one of his paintings was sold while he lived, Van Gogh’s paintings were indeed masterpieces in the art history and successful directed other potential artists afterwards.(跟上面那个合为一段比较好，两个例子的篇幅有点长，精简一下吧)

Besides their great contribution in creating the eternal value, however, sometimes critics also play an important role in disseminating the merits of a classic, which means that critics help the denizens comprehend the inner virtue of a masterpiece. The Academy Awards, commonly known as Oscars, are among the film industry’s most coveted prizes. The entire academy members participate in voting for the annual awards and they gradually become the beacon of the major film trend directing the masses. Shortly after the excellent film “Crash” was hitting the shelf, it did not have a great appeal among the masses because it reflected the underlying society facts and seemed too vague for people to comprehend. However, After “Crash” enjoyed the 2005 annual most valuable film of Oscar, its box office increasing dramatically. In a sense, Oscar contributes a lot in helping people enjoy films correctly. (跟楼上的意见一样，没有突出Critcs的作用，最好着重说一下)

The popularity of Quixote also reflects of the importance of the critics. Shortly after the new fiction-Don Quixote- was published, it did not have a great appeal among the masses, since people considered it to be a simple satire. It is the positive comment from the critics that guide the denizens acknowledging the immanent beauty of the novel and propagandize its merits. In short, critics also made their own contribution during the flourishing of the permanent arts.(还是觉得应该合成一段，或者这一段应该有个论理什么的，不知道我这个想法对不对)

All in all, in the whole process of creating and propagandizing a classic, both the artists and the critics contribute their efforts respectively, that is to say, they cannot live normally(separately?) without the other counterparts. Therefore, we can easily draw a conclusion that it is (both) the artist and the critic who gives society something of lasting value.

有的表达法很好，我学着了，例子多，论理少（我也一样...），加油吧~

渡渡鸟UID: 145880

原帖由 莎拉 于 2006-7-10 13:17 发表
我也写过这篇，来帮你拍吧~

When talking about who gives the world perpetual value, the artist or the critic, every individual has (his or her) own opinion according to his/her (own) preference. I ...

嗯～～感觉没有什么论述，都是论据。。。

winnie_nnUID: 2208004

为啥不理我...55555

渡渡鸟UID: 145880

sorry，没看到你发的作文哈，你把你写的贴到下面吧，我帮你改～～

莎拉UID: 2185851

你也不谢我一下
也不帮我改
伤心中。。。。

莎拉UID: 2185851

呵呵
不好意思
看到你的回拍了 、
谢谢哦~