Issue144 同主题第一期，狠拍狠拍~

winnie_nnUID：2208004

Issue 144 (695)
"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

Ｐ：平衡观点。艺术家和批评家的作用都很重要。

1：论述艺术家的作用，分两方面，一方面是为社会提供了重要的信息，分历史、宗教和社会三个，分别用了西班牙洞穴绘画、圣母子和蒙克的呐喊；另一方面是在带来美感的同时给人们以精神的鼓舞，例子用了米开朗基罗和贝多芬

2：这一段论述批评家的积极作用，例子是Monet的日出和达芬奇的Mona Lisa

3：这一段论述批评家的消极作用，例子是Van Gogh

Is it the artist gives society something of lasting value, not the critic who evaluates works of art? The speaker claims so. I concede that some artwork from artist actually could be some lasting-value things and the undue criticism not only cannot promote but also impede this progress. Otherwise, from my view of point, artists could not give society perdurable value without the help of critics in some certain circumstance.

It is no denying that works of art could bring society something cannot be substituted. For one thing, looking back at the history, artists have given people varieties of meritorious information and revelation. Painting, one part of art, is a powerful supporting example. In field of history, artists, who lived prehistoric in Spain, leave their paintings on the rocks in caves, where the earliest painting found out, tell us what happened long ago; in field of religion, a renaissance painting of Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of transcendent spirituality; in field of sociology, "The Crying", a famous paint of Munch, reflected the high stress that an individual endured via the behavior of crying out and the expression of agony in the painting. For another thing, artists bring us encouragement in spirit as well as the works of art bring forward aesthetic feeling. Take some well-known works of art as examples: “David”, the statuary of Michelangelo, shows us the power and the beauty of a human body; Beethoven’s ninth symphonies set up a good example of fighting to doom and encourage people in adversity to never give up.

Aside from the foregoing proviso, however, I do disagree that critics do no effort in giving society something of lasting value. In some circumstance, the art works could not be understand by ordinary people without critics, even if they contain much high value. For instance, Monet’s outstanding painting “Impression: sunrise”, which use a large amount of blue as the major color for sunlight, was not comprehended initially and regarded as an absurd works. Yet, critics studied this painting and found out its deep meanings which show the society that it is a great works of art. Further more, the criticism could prolong the life and promote the value of an art works, like catalyzer. “Mona Lisa”, a splendid painting of Leonardo da Vinci, is case in point. Critics found that the landscape of the right side behind Mona Lisa is not same as those of the left side, which then attract uncountable critics studied on, publishing large number of articles and books about it. These productions make people notice “Mona Lisa” from one generation to another, not only because aesthetic value but also the comment of mystery which stands behind it. Significantly, without the effort from critics, these art works cannot be dug out their underlying worth, no saying of showing lasting value.

As is shown above, equitable and objective criticism could help people to find out the value of art works and give society some lasting-value thing, but for the limitation of comprehension critics could not always make correct criticism, which would minify, even exterminate the achievement of artists and impede the development of art. A well-known illustration is Van Gogh, a superexcellent artist who is regarded as the founder of postimpressionism. But, the critics in that time could not understand his art and pay no attention to this gift-painter, which led the works from Van Gogh were buried for a fairly long time until sometime after he ended in suicide for depression.

In sum, although artist gives society something of lasting value through their works of art, we could not neglect the effort of critics, neither positive nor negative, in this course. With equitable and objective criticism, the worth of an art works could be dug out more deeply, and that make the art works more valuable. With prejudice and subjective criticism, the value of an art works perhaps will be buried for a long period. Thus, critics should do their best to give some equitable and objective comment to accurately evaluate a work of art, to propel the development of art, to give more things of lasting value to society.

[ 本帖最后由 winnie_nn 于 2006-7-10 14:47 编辑 ]

whyadddUID：2207005

例子太猛了，我都没太听过，看来艺术方面知识太贫乏了我！

文章构思不错！
不过有不少漏洞（个人意见）：
Is it the artist 语法和is不搭配，加个who gives society something of lasting value, not the critic who evaluates works of art? The speaker claims so. I concede that some artwork from artist actually could be some lasting-value things and the undue criticism not only cannot promote but also impede this progress. Otherwise, from my view of point, artists could not give society perdurable value without the help of critics in some certain circumstance.

It is no denying换为undeniable好 that works of art could bring society something 加个thatcannot be substituted. For one thing, looking back at似乎用on，look back at是怒目而视 the history, artists have given people varieties of meritorious information and revelation. Painting, one part of art, is a powerful supporting example. In field of history, artists, who lived prehistoric in Spain, leave 时态问题have lefttheir paintings on the rocks in caves, where the earliest painting 加个werefound out, tell us what happened long ago; in field of religion, a renaissance painting of Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of transcendent spirituality; in field of sociology, "The Crying", a famous paint of Munch, reflected the high stress that an individual endured via the behavior of crying out and the expression of agony in the painting. For another thing, artists bring us encouragement in spirit as well as the works of art bring forward aesthetic feeling. Take some well-known works of art as examples: “David”, the statuary of Michelangelo, shows us the power and the beauty of a human body; Beethoven’s ninth symphonies set up a good example of fighting to doom and encourage people in adversity to never give up.

Aside from the foregoing proviso, however, I do disagree that critics do no effort in giving society something of lasting value. In some circumstance, the art works could not be understand被动语态 by ordinary people without critics, even if they contain much high value. For instance, Monet’s outstanding painting “Impression: sunrise”, which use a large amount of blue as the major color for sunlight, was not comprehended initially and regarded as an absurd works单数. Yet, critics studied this painting and found out its deep meanings which show the society that it is a great works of art. Further more, the criticism could prolong the life and promote the value of an art works, like catalyzer. “Mona Lisa”, a splendid painting of Leonardo da Vinci, is a case in point. Critics found that the landscape of the right side behind Mona Lisa is not same as those of the left side, which then attract uncountable critics studied on, publishing large number of articles and books about it. These productions make people notice “Mona Lisa” from one generation to another, not only because aesthetic value but also the comment of mystery which stands behind it. Significantly, without the effort from critics, these art works cannot be dug out their underlying worth, no 用without是个好句子 saying of showing lasting value.

As is shown above, equitable and objective criticism could help people to find out the value values of art works and give society some lasting-value thing, but for the limitation of comprehension critics could not always make correct criticism, which would minify, even exterminate the achievement of artists and impede the development of art. A well-known illustration is Van Gogh, a superexcellent artist who is regarded as the founder of postimpressionism. But, the critics in that time could not understand his art and pay过去式paid no attention to this gift-painter, which led the works from Van Gogh were buried for a fairly long time until sometime after he ended in suicide for depression.

In sum, although artist gives society something of lasting value through their works of art, we could not neglect the effort of critics, neither positive nor negative, in this course. With equitable and objective criticism, the worth of an art works could be dug out more deeply, and that make the art works more valuable. With prejudice and subjective criticism, the value of an art works perhaps will be buried for a long period. Thus, critics should do their best to give some equitable and objective comment to accurately evaluate a work of art, to propel the development of art, to give more things of lasting value to society.

还需要加强，用词上面，语法上面……

winnie_nnUID：2208004

谢谢whyaddd ：）
改过一遍还那么多错...
词汇我估计我是来不及了，还有半个月就考了，只能尽量减少语法错误了，急...

look back at the history 我在Google上看了一下，应该是对的， look back on 也是对的，好像都行

whyadddUID：2207005

时态和语法确实应该多注意，写久了，错了自己都不知道，我也这样；
长句也不要过多，不容易驾驭，我觉得。

大洋彼岸的梦想UID：2209150

Is it the artist gives society something of lasting value, not the critic who evaluates works of art? The speaker claims so. I concede that some artwork from artist actually could be some lasting-value things and the undue criticism not only cannot promote but also impede this progress. Otherwise, from my view of point, artists could not give society perdurable value without the help of critics in some certain circumstance.
我觉得你这段表达自我的观点有点混乱，最好能明确表示artist and critics are of the same importance.

It is no denying that works of art could bring society something cannot be substituted. For one thing, looking back at the history, artists have given people varieties of meritorious information and revelation. Painting, one part of art, is a powerful supporting example. In field of history, artists, who lived prehistoric in Spain, leave their paintings on the rocks in caves, where the earliest painting found out, tell us what happened long ago; in field of religion, a renaissance painting of Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of transcendent spirituality; in field of sociology, "The Crying", a famous paint of Munch, reflected the high stress that an individual endured via the behavior of crying out and the expression of agony in the painting. 例子很不错的,做笔记...For another thing, artists bring us encouragement in spirit as well as the works of art bring forward aesthetic feeling. Take some well-known works of art as examples: “David”, the statuary of Michelangelo, shows us the power and the beauty of a human body; Beethoven’s ninth symphonies set up a good example of fighting to (against) doom and encourage people in adversity to never give up.

Aside from the foregoing proviso, however, I do disagree that critics do no effort in giving society something of lasting value. In some circumstance, the art works could not be understand by ordinary people without critics, even if they contain much high value. For instance, Monet’s outstanding painting “Impression: sunrise”, which use a large amount of blue as the major color for sunlight, was not comprehended initially and regarded as an absurd works. Yet, critics studied this painting and found out its deep meanings which show the society that it is a great works of art. Further more, the criticism could prolong the life and promote the value of an art works, like catalyzer. “Mona Lisa”, a splendid painting of Leonardo da Vinci, is case in point. Critics found that the landscape of the right side behind Mona Lisa is not same as those of the left side, which then attract uncountable critics studied on, publishing large number of articles and books about it. These productions make people notice “Mona Lisa” from one generation to another, not only because aesthetic value but also the comment of mystery which stands behind it.
这段写的很不错,向你学习!!

As is shown above, equitable and objective criticism could help people to find out the value of art works and give society some lasting-value thing, but for the limitation of comprehension critics could not always make correct criticism, which would minify, even exterminate the achievement of artists and impede the development of art. A well-known illustration is Van Gogh, a superexcellent artist who is regarded as the founder of postimpressionism. But, the critics in that time could not understand his art and pay no attention to this gift-painter, which led the works from Van Gogh were buried for a fairly long time until sometime after he ended in suicide for depression.

In sum, although artist gives society something of lasting value through their works of art, we could not neglect the effort of critics, neither positive nor negative, in this course. With equitable and objective criticism, the worth of an art works could be dug out more deeply, and that make the art works more valuable. With prejudice and subjective criticism, the value of an art works perhaps will be buried for a long period. Thus, critics should do their best to give some equitable and objective comment to accurately evaluate a work of art, to propel the development of art, to give more things of lasting value to society.
  这篇文章算是很不错的了,条理清晰,例子也能很好的论点.我觉得一点就是你实际上是强调两者同样重要,你也在文中开头和结尾部分间接提出了观点,但是你文中始终没明确指明这一点.
  还有一点是,毋庸置疑,这篇文章属于事实型,你的处理也不错,但最后加了那两句倾向性的话,有点画蛇添足的感觉.当然仁者见仁,智者见智,也许有人会觉得是深化主题.

  个人陋见,欢迎讨论啊:)

渡渡鸟UID：145880

Is it the artist gives society something of lasting value, not the critic who evaluates works of art? The speaker claims so. I concede that some artwork from artist actually could be some lasting-value things and the undue criticism not only cannot promote but also impede this progress. Otherwise, from my view of point, artists could not give society perdurable value without the help of critics in some certain circumstance.
（比较正统的开头，不过稍显老套，建议整理个自己的模板）

It is no denying that works of art could bring society something cannot be substituted. （这最好还是把lasting value提一下，TS嘛，照应Thesis）For one thing, looking back at the history, artists have given people varieties of meritorious information and revelation. Painting, one part of art, is a powerful supporting example. In field of history, artists, who lived prehistoric in Spain, leave their paintings on the rocks in caves, where the earliest painting found out, tell us what happened long ago; in field of religion, a renaissance painting of Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of transcendent spirituality; in field of sociology, "The Crying", a famous paint of Munch, reflected the high stress that an individual endured via the behavior of crying out and the expression of agony in the painting. For another thing, artists bring us encouragement in spirit as well as the works of art bring forward aesthetic feeling. Take some well-known works of art as examples: “David”, the statuary of Michelangelo, shows us the power and the beauty of a human body; Beethoven’s ninth symphonies set up a good example of fighting to doom and encourage people in adversity to never give up. (感觉你的问题和我一样，例子不少，但是和TS照应不够，只是把例子往上一放。。。没有论述)Aside from the foregoing proviso, however, I do disagree that critics do no effort in giving society something of lasting value. In some circumstance, the art works could not be understand by ordinary people without critics, even if they contain much high value. For instance, Monet’s outstanding painting “Impression: sunrise”, which use a large amount of blue as the major color for sunlight, was not comprehended initially and regarded as an absurd works. Yet, critics studied this painting and found out its deep meanings which show the society that it is a great works of art. Further more, the criticism could prolong the life and promote the value of an art works, like catalyzer. “Mona Lisa”, a splendid painting of Leonardo da Vinci, is case in point. Critics found that the landscape of the right side behind Mona Lisa is not same as those of the left side, which then attract uncountable critics studied on, publishing large number of articles and books about it. These productions make people notice “Mona Lisa” from one generation to another, not only because aesthetic value but also the comment of mystery which stands behind it. Significantly, without the effort from critics, these art works cannot be dug out their underlying worth, no saying of showing lasting value. （Monet的例子真不错，记笔记ing）

As is shown above, equitable and objective criticism could help people to find out the value of art works and give society some lasting-value thing, but for the limitation of comprehension critics could not always make correct criticism, which would minify, even exterminate the achievement of artists and impede the development of art. A well-known illustration is Van Gogh, a superexcellent artist who is regarded as the founder of postimpressionism. But, the critics in that time could not understand his art and pay no attention to this gift-painter, which led the works from Van Gogh were buried for a fairly long time until sometime after he ended in suicide for depression.

In sum, although artist gives society something of lasting value through their works of art, we could not neglect the effort of critics, neither positive nor negative, in this course. With equitable and objective criticism, the worth of an art works could be dug out more deeply, and that make the art works more valuable. With prejudice and subjective criticism, the value of an art works perhaps will be buried for a long period. Thus, critics should do their best to give some equitable and objective comment to accurately evaluate a work of art, to propel the development of art, to give more things of lasting value to society.（最后这段感觉写的太多了，只要稍微总结一下就好，重点还是在body部分）

整体感觉还是不错的，结构合理，和我写的一样，例子不少，论证不够～～
还有半个月～加油～！

chenda8201UID：171368

原帖由 winnie_nn 于 2006-7-10 14:05 发表
Issue 144 (695)
"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
...

note: 刚随意看了同主题的第一期，接着就链接到搂主的习作，感觉楼主写作功底不错；艺术的知识面很广～；鉴于时间关系，大致找出个人以为有语法上的问题的地方标出来了（感觉句子一写长了，就容易出问题...；可以参考一些语法书或是托福语法资料来提高吧～）；至于结构逻辑体系等就没有深究～；
加油加油！ ～ ;) ～



Is it the artist gives society something of lasting value, not the critic who evaluates works of art? The speaker claims so. I concede that some artwork from artist actually could be some lasting-value things and the undue criticism not only cannot promote but also impede this progress. Otherwise, from my view of point, artists could not give society perdurable value without the help of critics in some certain circumstance.

It is no denying that works of art could bring society something that cannot be substituted. For one thing, looking back at the history, artists have given people varieties of meritorious information and revelation. Painting, one part of art, is a powerful supporting example. In field of history, artists, who lived prehistoric in Spain, leave leaved their paintings on the rocks in caves, where the earliest painting found out, tell telling us what happened long ago; in field of religion, a renaissance painting of Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of transcendent spirituality; in field of sociology, "The Crying", a famous paint of Munch, reflected reflects the high stress that an individual endured via the behavior of crying out and the expression of agony in the painting. For another thing, artists bring us encouragement in spirit as well as the works of art bring forward aesthetic feeling. Take some well-known works of art as examples: “David”, the statuary of Michelangelo, shows us the power and the beauty of a human body; Beethoven’s ninth symphonies set up a good example of fighting to doom and encourage people in adversity to never give up.

Aside from the foregoing proviso, however, I do disagree that critics do no effort in giving society something of lasting value. In some circumstance, the art works could not be understand by ordinary people without critics, even if they contain much high value. For instance, Monet’s outstanding painting “Impression: sunrise”, which use a large amount of blue as the major color for sunlight, was not comprehended initially and regarded as an absurd works work. Yet, critics studied this painting and found out its deep meanings which show the society that it is a great works work of art. Further more, the criticism could prolong the life and promote the value of an art works work, like a catalyzer. “Mona Lisa”, a splendid painting of Leonardo da Vinci, is a case in point. Critics found that the landscape of the right side behind Mona Lisa is not same as those of the left side, which then attract attracted uncountable critics studied on, publishing to study it and published a large number of articles and books about it. These productions make people notice “Mona Lisa” from one generation to another, not only because of the aesthetic value but also the comment of mystery which stands behind it. Significantly, without the effort from of critics, these art works with their underlying worth cannot be dug out their underlying worth, no saying of showing lasting value.

As is shown above, equitable and objective criticism could help people to find out the value of art works and give society some lasting-value thing; however, , but for the limitation of comprehension, critics could not always make correct criticism, which would minify, even exterminate the achievement of artists and impede the development of art. A well-known illustration is Van Gogh, a superexcellent artist who is regarded as the founder of postimpressionism. But Though, the critics in that time could not understand his art and pay no attention to this gift-painter, which led the works from Van Gogh were to be buried for a fairly long time until sometime after he ended his life in suicide for the depression.

In sum, although artist gives society something of lasting value through their works of art, we could not neglect the effort efforts of critics, neither positive nor negative [??], in this course. With equitable and objective criticism, the worth of an art works could be dug out more deeply, and that make makes the art works more valuable. With prejudice and subjective criticism, the value of an art works work perhaps will  might be buried for a long period. Thus, critics should do their best to give some equitable and objective comment comments to accurately evaluate a work of art, to propel the development of art, to give more things of lasting value to society.


.

winnie_nnUID：2208004

谢谢，谢谢大家，还是好人多，泪啊~

我也就艺术方面的例子还比较多，大家需要的话我们可以探讨。
语法错误总是一大堆，老是想着想着还错一堆：（

今天不行了，同时赶程序ing，苦...明天再帮大家看：）

westcowerUID：2123051

Is it the artist who gives society something of lasting value, not the critic who evaluates works of art? The speaker claims so. I concede that some artwork from artist actually could be some lasting-value things and（这里不是并列关系）the undue criticism not only cannot promote but also impede this progress. Otherwise(看不出上下两句之间存在转折), from my view of point, artists could not give society perdurable value without the help of critics in some certain circumstance.

It is no denying that works of art could bring society something cannot be substituted. For one thing, （looking删）back from（删at）the history, artists have given people varieties of meritorious(好) information and revelation. Painting, one part of art, is a powerful supporting example. In field of history, artists, who lived prehistoric in Spain, leave their paintings on the rocks in caves, where the earliest painting found out, tell us what happened long ago; in field of religion, a renaissance painting of Madonna and child, for many viewers, is somehow a revelation of transcendent spirituality; in field of sociology, "The Crying", a famous paint of Munch, reflected the high stress that an individual endured via the behavior of crying out and the expression of agony in the painting. For another thing, artists bring us encouragement （in spirit删） as well as the works of art bringing forward aesthetic feeling. Take some well-known works of art as examples: “David”, the statuary of Michelangelo, shows us the power and the beauty of a human body; Beethoven’s ninth symphonies set up a good example of fighting to doom and attempting to persuade (encouraging删) people in adversity never to (never删) give up.

(关系词最好改成despite,删了however )Aside from the foregoing proviso, however, I do disagree that critics do no effort in giving society something of lasting value. In some circumstance, the art works could not be understand by ordinary people without critics, even if they contain(这个词不好) much high value. For instance, Monet’s outstanding painting “Impression: sunrise”, which use a large amount of blue as the major color for sunlight, was not comprehended initially and regarded as an absurd works. Yet, critics studied this painting and found out its deep meanings which show the society that it is a great works of art. Further more, the criticism could prolong the life and promote the value of an art works, like catalyzer. “Mona Lisa”, a splendid painting of Leonardo da Vinci, is case in point. Critics found that the landscape of the right side behind Mona Lisa is not same as those of the left side, which then attract uncountable critics studied on, publishing large number of articles and books about it. These productions make people notice “Mona Lisa” from one generation to another, not only because aesthetic value but also the comment of mystery which stands behind it. Significantly, without the effort from critics, these art works cannot be dug out their underlying worth, no saying of showing lasting value.

As is shown above(从逻辑上看这是一个小让步的段落,但用这个开头看起来像是总结,或者可以用while来替换), equitable and objective criticism could help people to find out the value of art works and give society some lasting-value thing, but for the limitation of comprehension critics could not always make correct criticism, which would minify, even exterminate the achievement of artists and impede the development of art. A well-known illustration is Van Gogh, a superexcellent artist who is regarded as the founder of postimpressionism. But, the critics in that time could not understand his art and pay no attention to this gift-painter, which led the works from Van Gogh were buried for a fairly long time until sometime after he ended in suicide for depression.

In sum, although artist gives society something of lasting value through their works of art, we could not neglect the effort of critics, neither positive nor negative, in this course. With equitable and objective criticism, the worth of an art works could be dug out more deeply, and that make the art works more valuable. With prejudice and subjective criticism, the value of an art works perhaps will be buried for a long period. Thus, critics should do their best to give some equitable and objective comment to accurately evaluate a work of art, to propel the development of art, to give more things of lasting value to society.

(写得很强.语言只有瑕疵, 例子很有深度,应该会得到高分)


https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D3这是我写的,自己改过一次