issue147 同主题 拍必回

carolinexixiUID: 2224375

Issue 147
“Tradition and modernization are incompatible. One must choose between them.”

提纲：传统和现代是互相依赖互相包容的。

1。传统不断发展适应现代，并融入现代
2。现代来源于传统（科学，艺术）
3。但是，太专注于传统会限制现代的发展，同样太强调现代就会丢掉社会的传统。

Are tradition and modernization incompatible that we must choose between them? While I concede that tradition and modernization do oppose to each other in some cases, however, the speaker carries their relationship to extreme. Tradition and modernization are not mutually exclusive. A deep meditation reveals that they depend, immerse, and influence each other.

On the one hand, tradition evolves itself to adapt to modern life. Tradition refers to information, beliefs, and customs that hand down through the continuity of history. It is not an abstract stance beyond change and development, but undergoes transformation and renewal from time to time so as to adapt to different social conditions and meet the ever-changing needs of human-being. Tradition changes keep abreast with society advancement—that is modernization; sometimes even immerse itself into modernization. Take Chinese traditional ethical ideal Confucianism as an example. In its history of more than 2000 years Confucianism has undergone several transformations and renewals in a process from Confucius and Mencius to contemporary Neo-Confucianism. All these transformations and renewals followed changes in the life situation of the Chinese nation, and every ideology state reflect the contemporary social mores and values. Now, in this era of fast-pacing technological and social change flooding with new and diversified ideas, Confucianism is not abandoned but infiltrate in many social realms. For example, some modern management methods have adopted Confucianism for managing the organization and its employees; political leaders use it to tackle complex problems, education systems exploit it for instilling students with sound morality and ethics.

One the other hand, modernization roots in tradition, without which modernization lose its foundation for realization. Oftentimes the so-called modernization is actually an extension or new iteration of tradition, or a variation of it. Considering a great deal of new technologies and high-tech based appliances, complicated and sophisticated may they appear, however, all of them are designed or developed based on the simply tradition scientific principles such as classic Newton three Motion Laws or Boher theory. Similarly, in the art areas, modern pop-music such as R&B, Hip-Hop, rock-and-roll, are all so dissimilar with classical music, yet their evolution rely on the same twelve-note scale, the same rhythmic meters, the same notions of euphonious, and even the same melodies as applied in classical music traditions.

Both tradition and modernization are indispensable to society advancement; however, either part, if received too much emphasis, will oppose to the other and have a negative effect on society advancement. On the one hand, as society progress, some banal traditions which are detrimental not to the individual but to the society as a whole should be eradicated. One striking example involves superstition. In old age, people believed life was governed by some supernatural forces due to ignorance of the laws of nature; as knowledge enriched, stubborn adherence to such irrational belief will not only hurt individual interests but also impede the enlightenment of human-being, ultimately impede the process of modernization. On the other hand, too much emphasis on modernization will make people lost themselves; since it is tradition provide us with identity, pride and dignity. For instance, in this era of globalization, the assimilation of culture becomes notable. People are obsessed with culture of developed countries--clothes, life styles, arts--hallmark of modernization, while forgetting their own customs and values. Therefore, modernization, if carried too far, will have a chilling effect on losing tradition—the essence for any society’s existence.

Judged from the analysis above, we can see tradition and modernization are not contradictive, but embrace each other. Therefore, we can enjoy and benefit from both of them rather than face the dilemma of choosing one between them. Furthermore, a balance should be called between tradition and modernization in order to benefit from both parts. (621 words)

欢迎大家提意见

abraham_duUID: 2110368

我认为第三段的roots in 改为be rooted in或是stem from好一些

carolinexixiUID: 2224375

谢谢：）

苯石UID: 2169611

Are tradition and modernization [(such/so)] incompatible that we must choose between them? While I concede that tradition and modernization do oppose to each other in some cases, however, the speaker carries their relationship to [(the)] extreme. Tradition and modernization are not mutually exclusive [用得好！] . A deep meditation reveals that they depend [(on)] , immerse, and influence each other.

On the one hand, tradition evolves itself to adapt to modern life. Tradition refers to information, beliefs, and customs that hand down through the continuity of history. It is not an abstract stance beyond change and development, but undergoes transformation and renewal from time to time so as to adapt to different social conditions and meet the ever-changing needs of human-being[复数]. [对中心句作了详细的阐述，好。]Tradition changes keep abreast with society advancement—that is modernization; sometimes even immerse itself into modernization. Take Chinese traditional ethical ideal Confucianism as an example. In its history of more than 2000 years Confucianism has undergone several transformations and renewals in a process from Confucius and Mencius to contemporary Neo-Confucianism. All these transformations and renewals followed changes in the life situation of the Chinese nation, and every ideology state reflect the contemporary social mores and values. Now, in this era of fast-pacing technological and social change flooding [flooded] with new and diversified ideas, Confucianism is not abandoned but infiltrate in many social realms. For example, some modern management methods have adopted Confucianism for managing the organization and its employees; political leaders use it to tackle [这个比solve好] complex problems, education systems exploit it for instilling students with sound morality and ethics.

One the other hand, modernization roots in tradition, without which modernization lose its foundation for realization [without which modernizaion can be hardly realized] . Oftentimes the so-called modernization is actually an extension or new iteration of tradition, or a variation of it [紧紧抓住两者的联系] . Considering a great deal of new technologies and high-tech based appliances, complicated and sophisticated may they appear, however, all of them are designed or developed based on the simply [simple]  tradition scientific principles such as classic Newton three Motion Laws [Classic/Newtonian Mechanics] or Boher [Bohr's] theory. [需要说明一下，波尔的理论是关于量子力学的，并不简单易懂] Similarly, in the art areas, modern pop-music such as R&B, Hip-Hop, rock-and-roll, are all so dissimilar with classical music, yet their evolution rely [relies] on the same twelve-note scale, the same rhythmic meters, the same notions of euphonious, and even the same melodies as applied in classical music traditions. [排比句刚劲用力。 不过我对音乐一窍不通，给不出什么建议]


Both tradition and modernization are indispensable to society advancement; however, either part, if received too much emphasis, will oppose to the other and have a negative effect on society advancement. On the one hand, as society progress [proceeds] , some banal traditions which are detrimental not to the individual but to the society as a whole should be eradicated. One striking example involves superstition. In old age, people believed life was governed by some supernatural forces due to ignorance of the laws of nature; as knowledge enriched, stubborn adherence [好词组] to such irrational belief will not only hurt individual interests [undermines individual developments] but also impede the enlightenment of human-being, ultimately impede the process of modernization. On the other hand, too much emphasis on modernization will make people lost themselves; since it is tradition provide [it is traditions that provide] us with identity, pride and dignity. For instance, in this era of globalization, the assimilation of culture [cultural homogenization.  assimilation是指少数人的融入，如移民融入当地社会。 ANYHOW, it is a good try. ] becomes notable [OR: evident]. People are obsessed with culture of developed countries--clothes, life styles, arts--hallmark of modernization, while forgetting their own customs and values. Therefore, modernization, if carried too far, will have a chilling effect on losing tradition—the essence for any society’s existence.

Judged from the analysis above, we can see tradition and modernization are not contradictive, but embrace each other [On the contrary, they embrace each other] . Therefore, we can enjoy and benefit from both of them rather than face the dilemma [用得好] of choosing one between them. Furthermore, a balance should be called between tradition and modernization in order to benefit from both parts [so that we may benefit from both of them. 主语变了，这里用in order to连接不合适] .



1. 'Tradition evolves itself to adapt to modern life' 这个观点有新意。
2. 关于MODERNIZATION和TRADITION关系的论述很深入。值得借鉴。
3. 语言也很不错。 如果减少语法错误，文章流畅性就更高了。

that's all.