argument94 自己改过

loryshuangUID: 2211255

argumet74 "A nationwide survey reveals that the two most desired home features are a bathroom with a whirlpool tub and a large kitchen. Homes in a nearby development built by our competitor, Domus Construction, have whirlpool tubs and have sold much faster and at significantly higher prices than the average. To increase our sales and profits, we should include whirlpool tubs and larger kitchens as standard features in all our new homes. Since our recent buyers have voiced no complaints about small yards, we can also increase profits by decreasing the size of our yards."
WORDS: 343          TIME: 上午 0:28:00          DATE: 2006-7-19

The author in the memo suggests the Bower Builders should include whirlpool tubs and larger kitchens as standard features in all their new homes. To support the ideas the author gives out a result of a nationwide survey and takes their competitor Domus Construction (DC) as an example. At the first the glance, the suggestion seems reasonable. However, careful examination of the supporting evidences, reveals that it lends little credible support to the author’s suggestion.

The first and foremost is that the author makes a hasty generalization from the national wide survey. The national survey is conducted in the national wide but does not necessarily represent the desire of the district, It is likely that the most parts of the nation is in the hinterland while the company is locate near the sea, so the people here do not appreciate the whirlpool as the most desirable features in their mind. And the survey does not indicate what kind of people are in the survey; it is possible the responds are the household women so they regard the large kitchen as necessary and comfortable, while the most of the people who are young and dependent are excluded in the survey. So the author using the result of the survey can not convince me to trust the need in the potential market.  

Secondly, the author makes an unparallel comparison with the DC and gets the conclusion directly from it. The most features of DC are not included in the memo. The most attractions of the home constructed by DC might be the structure of the home and the safe guarantee. Simply comparing the situation with the DC causes the asymmetrical consequence. It is imprudent to overlook the real merits of the DC but mimic without consideration.  

Thirdly, the author neglect essence of the profit, the profit and the expense consist of the revenue. Even the house with the whirlpool tubs and larger kitchens are proven to be popular in the district,  even the selling price is high, at the expense of the whirlpool tubs and the larger kitchens the profit may smaller than the house that without these appliance.

At last but not the least, the author failed to provide the availability to include the new appliance, and the author neglects the latent problem that may cause the dissatisfaction of the customs. That there is no complaints about small yard do not stands they people are not care the yard. Oppositely, they may quite content and valued the yard, so decreasing the yard is to wise.

In sum the memo’s suggestion is not supported. Before I can accept it, the author need to provide the exact date and evidence to make sure the real need of the wt and the big kitchen. At the same time to investigate the market in respect of the price and expense to decide whether the change can bring the reasonable profit. At the same time the author need demonstrate the availability and the capability do include the new appliance.

helenlhhUID: 2127690

The author in the memo suggests the Bower Builders should include whirlpool tubs and larger kitchens as standard features in all their new homes. To support the ideas the author gives out a result of a nationwide survey and takes their competitor Domus Construction (DC) as an example. At the first the glance, the suggestion seems reasonable. However, careful examination of the supporting evidences, reveals that it lends little credible support to the author’s suggestion.

The first and foremost is that the author makes a hasty generalization from the national wide survey. The national survey is conducted in the national wide but does not necessarily represent the desire of the district, It is likely that the most parts of the nation is in the hinterland while the company is located near the sea, so the people here do not appreciate the whirlpool as the most desirable features in their mind. And the survey does not indicate what kind of people are in the survey; it is possible the responds are the household women so they regard the large kitchen as necessary and comfortable, while the most of the people who are young and dependent are excluded in the survey. So the author using the result of the survey can not convince me to trust the need in the potential market.  

Secondly, the author makes an unparallel comparison with the DC and gets the conclusion directly from it. The most features of DC are not included in the memo. The most attractions of the home constructed by DC might be the structure of the home and the safe guarantee. Simply comparing the situation with the DC causes the asymmetrical consequence. It is imprudent to overlook the real merits of the DC but mimic without consideration.  

Thirdly, the author neglect essence of the profit, the profit and the expense consist of the revenue. Even the house with the whirlpool tubs and larger kitchens are proven to be popular in the district,  even the selling price is high, at the expense of the whirlpool tubs and the larger kitchens the profit may smaller than the house that without these appliance. 说到profit，除了成本和收入之外，还有一些因素的影响，包括你的经营管理，售后服务，能不能吸引顾客，能不能得到更多的利润，要看你的房消费者满意不满意。

At last but not the least, the author failed to provide the availability to include the new appliance, and the author neglects the latent problem that may cause the dissatisfaction of the customs. That there is no complaints about small yard do not stands they people are not care the yard. Oppositely, they may quite content and valued the yard, so decreasing the yard is to wise.

In sum the memo’s suggestion is not supported. Before I can accept it, the author need to provide the exact date and evidence to make sure the real need of the wt and the big kitchen. At the same time to investigate the market in respect of the price and expense to decide whether the change can bring the reasonable profit. At the same time the author need demonstrate the availability and the capability do include the new appliance.

你的argument已经写的不错了，可能这段时间还是要做出策略调整，保证30分钟能写出这样的水平，加油！

pewcg8UID: 2143213

作者没有套用模板,语言虽然有的地方有瑕疵,但是整体不错,开始一二段的批驳很有见地,美中不足就是很多论述没有具体展开讨论.